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Combating My Gift

 

I am 17, and I see spirits regularly. They live in my house minding their own, occasionally reaching out for attention when they feel it fit. These are my experiences, this is my life, and as for this "gift" this is about that too.

Little Girl:

In my room is a spirit, she is playful, and yet she has given me words that I could never have conjured with any of my own wisdom.

My mom came into my room one night, crying, and I can't remember why, but what I do remember, is this warmth crawling across my body, and a tiny voice whispering, "There are no rules, only existence." I repeated it to my mom, and she nodded in a slight agreement, as I suppose this pertained to what she was crying about. These stunned me, and even now, as the spirits linger around me, this rule is somehow applied.

I've had dreams of this girl at my back door, her tiny hands on the glass looking in at my family, at me.

Legs:

I nicknamed a spirit in my house "Legs" because that's all she is. From the calf down, a pair of bare feet and ankles, illuminated in a blue iridescence I cannot describe. Sometimes she strolls around, in my peripheral, past door ways, or in front of me when I do something.

Random Spirits:

Sometimes random spirits pass through, they are loud and not too strong, but seem as if they could be. They make my ears ring, and try to talk, but all it sounds like is a train horn in my head. They look like transparent bubbles, refracting the light inside them like a prism, inside the bubble, pixilated flashes of color, though very dull, I assume it's from the objects around them.

Shadows:

At my boyfriend's house is the only place that is calm for me, until the shadows found I could see them. At first they stayed downstairs, rushing past me when my boyfriend was out of the room, lingering and bringing the heavy feeling of their intentions to hurt me.

One night, I was lying down, ready to go to sleep after my boyfriend and I had fought, something crawled up into the room, I saw it, huddling itself in the closest corner to us. My boyfriend knew something was there; it was on my face before I told him. I closed my eyes and scooted backwards across the bed and he asked what was wrong.

"It's by my face," I remember mumbling, feeling hot breath fan across my nose and its hands around my throat. I cried for no real reason other than the feeling of it suffocated me.

Demons:

When I went to church, I was hearing voices, it sounded like I was in a room of a thousand people, all talking at the same time, in what sounded like English, but I couldn't understand it. All I could understand was my name. The moment I told someone about it, I heard a baby scream, and then it was silent. I would sit in my room and scream at the noise to stop, and eventually it would.

Lately I've been in a tiff with someone lingering in my home, giving me scratches, growling, pounding on the floor. It stared at me through the TV, and broke me down into a sobbing mess to the point where I couldn't be the only one awake in my house without wanting to die.

-

I want all of this to go away. I don't want any more stories, I hate being the only one around who can see things that can hurt people. I hate being called a liar by my own family, and being scared in my own home, or not having help when something happens.

Thanks for reading my experiences.

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The following comments are submitted by users of this site and are not official positions by yourghoststories.com. Please read our guidelines and the previous posts before posting. The author, atomicfishguts, has the following expectation about your feedback: I will participate in the discussion and I need help with what I have experienced.

atomicfishguts (1 stories) (3 posts)
 
7 years ago (2010-11-22)
[at] Rashidah and everyone else who followed up the comment:

I am fine, believe me, I thought I was going crazy, and I thought I needed help and I'm clean. C: I wish it was that easy to explain and disregard, but it isn't.
atomicfishguts (1 stories) (3 posts)
 
7 years ago (2010-11-22)
To Dan-Paranormal: Thank you so much for your kind and helpful words. It means a lot to me.
atomicfishguts (1 stories) (3 posts)
+1
7 years ago (2010-11-19)
Medically I am fine. Lets just rule all of that out. Thank you for your concern though.
Zorforler (1 stories) (55 posts)
-1
7 years ago (2010-11-18)
You think you have it bad? Read my story The Darkling. You do have a gift But I have a curse that is sometimes helpful. You can hear the spirits around you and they can hear you, I think you should use them. I have 2 demons in my house and I use them I also have a cat gaurdian given to me by Bast herself who has saved me from a Darkling. I use the abilities and powers given to me so you should do the same. Talk to the spirits and see what they want and help them and they may help you. No I don't do anything evil with my gifts but sometimes things do get a little out of hand but I try to fix it. Email me about any question you have and I will help you the best I can.
DCinAZ (guest)
 
7 years ago (2010-11-17)
ArchAngel, I get the skeptic attitude, I try to stay skeptical myself. But being skeptical and assuming the worst out of people are two different things. Assuming the parents and children lie can be just as harmful as accepting that they are not. I also understand how a 'student' can suddenly become the 'instructor' when speaking down to others they have never met. You are assuming that I am not also a student of Psychology. Where would ever get that idea? Or are you just jumping to that assumption?
ArchAngelAmaris (guest)
-1
7 years ago (2010-11-17)
DCinAZ, well, I qualified my statement by using the qualifier "some" so I don't see how it's a blanket statement. Also, I can tell you, as a student of Psychology, that a psychological evaluation of any kind can actually be a tool for a parent to encourage this kind of behavior. A parent can say that after one short visit to the doctor that their child has been evaluated when in actuality it takes many visits to see even a small percentage of what is going on. It is also amazing how much parents and children will lie to mental health professionals therefore rendering the whole evaluation useless. There isn't much to be gained by the way of telling if someone is gifted or not if they've said they've been to the psychiatrist or psychologist. Especially if the person being told is not a member of the family and wasn't there to witness the extent of the evaluation themselves. That is why when I watch the show I make my own judgments based on the way they act. You can tell a whole lot just by that.
DCinAZ (guest)
 
7 years ago (2010-11-17)
ArchAngel and Vulcan, I watch that show a lot and most all of those kids have been through psychiactric evaluation. I can't believe you would make such a blanket statement.
ArchAngelAmaris (guest)
 
7 years ago (2010-11-17)
Oh my Goodness Vulcan I completely agree with you. When I watch that show I always wonder "What if some of these kids just want attention?" and they never try to sort anything out they just approve of everything, they could be catching some psychological problems early, but nope, they prefer to encourage them all right along.
vulcan10 (5 stories) (321 posts)
 
7 years ago (2010-11-17)
There are some people who have certain gifts but it sickens me when I try to watch that program "psychic kids". The adults are so willing to jump into anything with both feet and just wiggle there head "yes yes" and believe any thing conscerning the supernatural. I'm all for keeping an open mind but not to the point of letting your brains fall out. For goodness sake
Dan_Paranormal (1 stories) (74 posts)
+4
7 years ago (2010-11-17)
I am sorry to hear that you are experiencing such rough times. However you seem to accept the basis of the gift you possess, and I agree with Rashidah that your gift may be developing further. Unfortunately the gifted, sensitive etc all come to greater threat from negative beings but we can ALL beat them.

They are nothing and we are everything. Something that exists to cause you misery is a being not worth conceding to. They make us feel the worst emotions and feelings possible but at the same time that's all they can do (many would disagree, but to me it's us who let them go further), it's up to us to negate these energies and feelings. Easier said than done unfortunately. We must accept that they co-exist and in doing so realise that they are nothing, they don't have the RIGHT to attack you and make you feel weak, they do so anyway but in realising this in ourselves it brings us closer to beating them. We have to make them miserable and weak.

Many of the posters who have commented before me are correct, it depends on what perspective you fall on to as to the solutions you choose to use, but advice is free and anything that is free is worth taking. I think medical check ups are a good idea to be on the sure side it's not a problem lying in you, many times we can't jump to paranormal conclusions on a situation. Please don't be insulted at that section of my comment it was not meant in that way.

We all fight our personal battles, all unique. We just can't concede to something wanting us to be miserable. I hope this helps somewhat and on a sense level I hope it makes sense and you understand what I'm saying, it's hard to explain but I have the best I can. Good luck to you and thank you for sharing your story.
ZiShu (281 posts)
 
7 years ago (2010-11-17)
I am sorry you have to go through this alone and being called liar and feel suffering. I can help you with this gift. I can help you control this gift and protect you from the ones that harm you. I know many people who has this gift like you. There is a higher purpose for why you have this gift. You know this gift will never leave you, so its best to control it to where it shouldn't effect you like this anymore. I know how to. You are very special. I know of each spirit you mention.
Contact me through email please aznaoki22 [at] yahoo.com.
SoliK (13 stories) (44 posts)
+2
7 years ago (2010-11-17)
Wow...I'm so sorry you are going through so much pain. It is not easy believe me. I agree about getting some medical or spiritual help. In the meantime- This might sound difficult but don't show them fear... These bad spirits live off that and it makes them stronger... As far as your gift... There were times in my life when I my mind was in overload with all these unexplained things happening. I'm a devoted Catholic so I prayed to God that if this "gift" was indeed from God then to please grant me the wisdom to master it for good. BUT if it was not from God to please take it away as fast as possible... Guess what... A BIG portion of the scary ones went away... The only thing left are those that I know is of God. If you are Christian I would read up on the gift of Discernment of Spirits. It's a gift that helps you decipher if something is of God, human or evil... But you need to also have the wisdom and strength to face it. (I have this gift btw)
roseinbloom (4 stories) (117 posts)
+3
7 years ago (2010-11-16)
Oh my dear, Cathy, it breaks my heart to hear your pain coming out, through the telling of your story. It seems to be a cry for help, hoping someone, here, at this site, could offer some advice, on how to rid yourself, of your hauntings. I, and I'm sure many on this site, can feel the pain, you are feeling at this time.
Your family, may just not understand, such unusual happenings, such as you are going thru, and react in a negative manner, when you present your explination of what is happening to you. You must be strong, and not let others make you feel like you are making up stories, for attention.
Rashidah, ArchAngelAmaris, and badjuju, had a good suggestion of first thing you should do, is see either a medical doctor, or a spritual healer, just so they can help you feel better, about yourself. It would be a positive move, and would show your family and boyfriend that your are doing everything available to you, to try to help your situation. If you can, try to shedule, a meeting with your preacher, or church elder, and tell them, exactly what you wrote in the last paragraph of your story.
I hope you do this as soon as possible. You do not deserve to feel as bad as you wrote. You even mentioned, wanting to die, and this worries me, to no end.
Please pray, everyday, and ask God, to deliver you, out of this pestilence that is making you spritually weak, and vulnerable.
I have always felt, that some mental illness, can be brougt on, from malevolent demons, who look to wreak our peace, and manifest feelings of despair to the point of turning away from God or wanting to end their own lives.
I will pray for your deliverence and peace. In the end, you are the solution, to this and any other problems that come your way in this life. God sees all and knows all, but he gave us, free will, and will not interveen unless we ask him to.
If you were of the Catholic faith, JimD, a deamonoligist on this site, has been know to offer good advise, in these matters.
He even has his email address, listed on his profile. He has never been known to turn anyone down when it comes to issues like this.
God Bless you, and please know, that there are many how care about you. I send you my ❤ ❤ ❤
Loganz_sis (1 stories) (150 posts)
+2
7 years ago (2010-11-16)
I am not ruling out paranormal here... I am sure it must be hard to be going through all this stuff, and especially if your family does not understand.
You are very young, at a age when you are finding your own identity, if you are additionally dealing with any other stress like family problems, sibling problems etc... This could explain some of the things you are feeling.
ArchAngelAmaris (guest)
+4
7 years ago (2010-11-16)
You should definitely go to a Psychiatrist or other mental health professional to make sure that you are not experiencing symptoms of, and I mean this in the most non-insulting way, any psychotic disorder such as schizophrenia. Often times anyone suffering from such a disorder will be able to see "phantoms" and hear voices as well as experience delusions that these "phantoms" are trying to contact them. I am a student of Psychology and have learned that in most cases of people claiming to have a gift like this are actually experience perhaps a mild and completely manageable form of Schizophrenia. These illnesses are completely treatable. If you don't want to see these things anymore you should first try to see if you have a disorder. If you find, with the help of a professional, that you don't have a disorder then try to contact and established medium or psychic to ask for help. I myself can sometimes faintly and mildly feel presences or emotions that are "not my own" but these things are much different from actually hearing/seeing/tactilely feeling something that no one else sees.
BadJuuJuu (guest)
 
7 years ago (2010-11-16)
As Rashidah suggested, a full medical check up is a good idea. Have you discussed any of this with a doctor? Ruling out any health issues is a good start on getting your family to believe you when you say something is wrong.
Rashidah (guest)
 
7 years ago (2010-11-16)
I think your ESP may be developing. But have you ruled out any medical advice?

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