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Loved Ones Never Leave You, Not Really

 

This is a series of occurrences that have happened to my family over the last few years. It spans a few years of my life, so there's a fair amount of back story to it. Please bear with me while I lay it all out for you.

My grandparents married when they were both quite young. They had a rocky beginning from the start and their marriage wasn't the best or most congenial. After they had their first child (my mother), it became routinely peppered with explosive fights, separations, and adultery. I don't blame or condemn either of them for any of it - it was just the way it was, and, while it was difficult for them, they stayed together until the very end for their family.

My grandparents had four children in total - Carol (my mother), Noela, Kit and Leanne - and my grandparents loved them all equally, but my grandfather had a special bond with my mother. They were the closer of any two members of the family. My grandmother always resented my mother for her relationship with my grandfather and harbored a grudge against her. The youngest two girls were closest to their mother and she poisoned them with her resentment of their relationship, and they in turn resented them too.

Regardless of the difficult relationship between his wife and youngest daughters, my grandfather was always a supportive and present father to his children and enforced if not their respect then at least their obedience.

He was an excellent, adoring grandfather to my sister, my cousin, and me, and my childhood consists almost entirely of memories of time spent with him. I was extremely close to him, and loved and respected him as the only strong male role model in my life until my mother met and married my stepfather.

A week before my tenth birthday in 2000, my grandfather suffered a severe asthma attack in his sleep and stopped breathing. He was rushed by my grandmother to hospital, where he fell into a coma and the doctors established that it was unlikely he would ever wake up. His daughters and wife gathered to be with him when they turned off his life support. My mother, too devastated to stay in the room for long afterwards, was the first person to leave. As she walked into the corridor outside, she heard his voice say, "I've had the bait, Carrie. They finally got me."

A few months after his passing my family fell apart. The resentment and hatred my grandmother and my two aunts held for my mother (and my step-father) got the better of them, and without my grandfather there to temper them and keep them together we were forced to leave what was left of our family. (This is important for later in the account.)

Every year on the anniversary of my grandfather's death, something strange has happened, but I thought I would just write down the most important ones:

One year I was sleeping in my bed and my duvet had fallen off me. I woke up to the feeling of it being pulled over me and I assumed it was one of my parents, so I thanked them without opening my eyes. A male voice hushed me, told me to sleep well, and touched my hair. I thought it was my stepfather, so I opened my eyes to give him a kiss, but when I looked around my room was empty and my door was closed.

A year later, my mother was going through a rough time trying to juggle work, finances, and her personal life. She was up late at night in the lounge room, unable to sleep but still dropping in and out of a light doze, when she felt something sit beside her on the couch and heard a voice say, "Everything's going to be alright, Carrie." She says she tried to wake up and look around, but felt herself being 'pulled' down into sleep, and when she woke up in the morning she felt better than she had in months.

A few years later was the last time we had anything happen from him. It was the year everything started really falling into place for my family, and my mother was up late reading something for work. She was sitting in bed and she says she just suddenly felt like something very important was missing and that she immediately knew that his spirit or his presence was gone, and thinks it's because he felt like he didn't need to look after us any more.

The year this happened was the eighth year after we had stopped talking to my aunts and grandmother. My aunt Noela kept in contact with them though, for important events - births, deaths, marriages, etc., and it was through her that we found out my grandmother had been diagnosed with terminal cancer.

When the time came, we raced down to the hospital she was in to say our goodbyes, even though we hadn't seen her in so long. My sister and I weren't allowed in to see her (she never let us see her without make-up on; it was how she was) so we waited outside. My mum was pretty upset when she came out. She still loved her mother, despite everything that had happened, but my grandmother refused to even speak to her or look at her while she was there. We left the hospital almost as soon as Noela came back out to tell us she had passed on.

Soon after some strange things started happening to my mum again. She awoke suddenly one night soon after her mother's passing to the feeling of someone pressing down hard on her throat, but she couldn't move or make any sound at all to wake up my stepfather. It passed after a minute or so, but she couldn't sleep for the rest of the night and she says her throat was very tender the next day. She would also periodically see her mother around her yard or in her house, despite the fact that her mother neither visited nor knew where she lived, and she would find mould growing on her favorite pictures of her father, despite her house being very dry and clean.

The most interesting of all was the night my stepfather woke up because my mother was having a nightmare and was twisting around in bed a lot. He looked over to her side of the bed and saw my grandmother leaning over her and reaching out as if to touch her. He sat upright in surprise, and as soon as he moved she looked over and 'snarled' at him before vanishing. As soon as she was gone, my mother stopped moving and seemed to settle into a comfortable sleep.

My mother is very open to the possibility of the paranormal - while she recognizes something that is out of the ordinary, she remains at least practically skeptical. My stepfather has never believed even in the possibility of the paranormal, but has no way of explaining or rationalizing what he saw and felt that night.

There are other stories I have, too, of the lady in white who watched our birds and of my cousin's past life, which I hope to share with you all sometime soon. In the mean time, however, I hope I didn't bore you with my story and that someone found it at least somewhat interesting! It all still gives me chills.

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The following comments are submitted by users of this site and are not official positions by yourghoststories.com. Please read our guidelines and the previous posts before posting. The author, pulsus, has the following expectation about your feedback: I will read the comments and participate in the discussion.

TheNathanNS (1 stories) (44 posts)
 
6 years ago (2011-05-07)
my mom and my grandad had a really close bond like the one you mentioned with your mom but my nan didn't do that
They never really got on until my grandad died and after he died they got on with no problems and what really bought them both close was the birth of me and my nan and my grandad still watch over my family but they don't hurt them my grandad once spoke to my mom after he died saying "forget about me now I am out of pain" or something like that
So I can sort of relate to what your saying in this story
snowhite (203 posts)
+1
6 years ago (2011-04-29)
My mother doesn't hurt me physically any more since I am a middle aged grown up now, but she verbally abuses me by insulting me, my husband and my son all the time. There is nothing comes out her mouth is nice. After I let her live with us for 8 years, I fiunally decided to let her go back to where she came from. It still hurts but what can I say, out of sight, out of mind. I finally do not have to suffer from it. I just don't have to deal with her any more.

If your mother is constantly torments by your grandma,
Just try to find a way to get rid of her negative spirit. It takes a lot of hatred for your grandma to come back and haunt your family. My mother is just like her.
Sporky (1 stories) (17 posts)
+1
7 years ago (2011-04-20)
Del176, no apology necessary. I just assume you have/had a great mom relationship. I envy you. I envy anyone that has a great relationship with their mom/mum. Treasure her, if you do! ❀
xXelliemayXx (10 stories) (164 posts)
 
7 years ago (2011-04-20)
any updates?
Has anything happened lately?

I feel so sorry for you, its not nice when poeple don't get on.
Keep your chin up chuck.

xXelliemayXx ❀
cosmogal926 (9 stories) (1223 posts)
+1
7 years ago (2011-04-15)
Hi Del176, No apologies necessary. I agree with you in the sense that when one passes over they should let go of all their anger in order to find peace. Unfortuantely people hold on to so much of anger and resentment and are unwilling to forgive that they end up taking that with them when they pass away. Your positive thinking is a good thing, and in no way offensive. Take Care 😊 ❀
Del176 (8 posts)
+1
7 years ago (2011-04-15)
Wow...sorry to everyone I must have made that mother's hurting their children comment maybe with too much positive thinking?
Yes unfortunately we live in a world where mother's do hurt their children, however in this case I was just trying to keep it on a light note to say that I don't think her grandmother is trying to hurt her mother... I could be wrong but that's not something you want to do in the afterlife...
Sorry again didn't mean to offend anyone I will watch what I say.
Lisa66 (1 stories) (54 posts)
+1
7 years ago (2011-04-15)
Although very disheartening, and I'm sorry for your undoubted pain, this is a really great story. You've got a great talent when it comes to story telling/writing. First, I'm so sorry your mother and you had to go through the feeling of what most people would feel as abandonment with your grandmother and aunts. It's a shame family can't put their resentments aside since as in most cases, family is normally the only ones you've got. I'm happy to hear your positive take on what happened to your mother after your grandmother passed though. Most would automatically assume she was trying to hurt her but your take is much more refreshing and peaceful to say the least. In any event, I'm glad to hear your grandmother appears to have moved on and is hopefully at peace now.
JustinEckert (2 stories) (25 posts)
-1
7 years ago (2011-04-15)
let me begin with saying that story was not at all boring, it was very interesting. Also if your grandmother has come back to torment your home then I think you should get a paranormal team in or have a PROFESSIONAL do a routine blessing. I put professional in caps because I can not stress enough how dangerous it is to perform a blessing yourself if you are not experienced enough. I hope I'm helping and I'm sorry for your family troubles. I hope your other aunts can recover over their pointless hatred of you and your mother soon. I know how it feels to have a family that seems divided also so don't feel alone 😁.
aiafaith1 (guest)
 
7 years ago (2011-04-15)
Oh wow. This was very interesting. You had me speeding through this, wanting to know what happened next! Thanks for sharing! Please keep us posted if anything else happens!

Best Wishes
~Aiafaith1
radish54 (1 stories) (49 posts)
 
7 years ago (2011-04-15)
Pulsus, you have a gift for writing. I look forward to your other stories. My own family was affected by a schism over religion, so I know that there are factors which can tear families asunder. I hope all find healing and a measure of enlightenment on the next plane.
Lilady4 (7 stories) (425 posts)
 
7 years ago (2011-04-14)
What a sad story, when you were saying about your grandfather dying and when your Mother tried to visit your grandmother on her death bed, I nearly started crying 😒. I don't think your story is too long. I think that its wonderful that your Grandfather looked after you even after life. But its scary that your Grandmother has been attacking your Mother! I do believe that it's your Grandmother as Spirits can appear where they want to. Even if you move, Spirits will still know where you are.
My Grandmother (Nana) is very much like that to me. She is very negative I mean.
Love & Light, Rachel ❀
taz890 (12 stories) (1380 posts)
 
7 years ago (2011-04-14)
hi pulsus thanks for the update 😊
You could be right about your gran trying to wake your mum and glad to hear it has not happened for the past year, hope to read more stories if you have anything to post soon.
Carl
pulsus (2 stories) (7 posts)
 
7 years ago (2011-04-14)
Sporky: Oh my god! I am SO sorry that happened to you! It must be horrible and terribly painful. I hope you're alright now and that you have a wonderful and loving relationship with your son.
pulsus (2 stories) (7 posts)
+2
7 years ago (2011-04-14)
Hi guys!

Thanks for all of the positive feedback! I was nervous the story was too long. 😁

I will agree with you all, our experiences with my grandfather are blessings and to be cherished.

To Taz and Granny, I'm afraid my grandmother was cremated and now resides on the sideboard of my second youngest aunt's home (no doubt next to my grandfather's ashes). She was the one we have had the most strife with, and the rift between us is irreprable. My mother tried making her peace with my grandmother in many ways prior to her death, and even afterwards. It's been about a year since we last saw her, so we hope she has found peace and moved on.

To those concerned about my grandmother's spirit hurting my mother, I believe that she wasn't really trying to harm her. While they had a stressful relationship, it was nonetheless one built on love. I think the nightmares and the pressure on my mother's neck may have been my grandmother becoming frustrated with her inability to contact her daughter properly. I know that sounds like a poor excuse, but I think she may have just been trying to wake her up to talk to her. Unfortunately she never liked my step-father though, so when he woke up she fled.

God bless you all. ❀
Sporky (1 stories) (17 posts)
+1
7 years ago (2011-04-14)
P.S. Regarding what Del176 stated below, I'm living proof that moms do hurt their children. My own put me in the hospital at age three with a head wound. This was before doctors had to refer these types of cases to social workers and such. So I endured mom's wrath many, many more years until I was old enough to move out. I do not speak to her to this day.
Sporky (1 stories) (17 posts)
+1
7 years ago (2011-04-14)
Oh dear. Thanks for sharing that story. I'm in the same boat - my mom hates me because my dad and I were so close. Now neither one of them is in contact with me. 😒 I'm so sorry she carried it with her to the grave. Looking forward to your other stories.
HappySpirit (186 posts)
+2
7 years ago (2011-04-14)
This is a fascinating and powerful story of family dynamics - that continues beyond death! I am sorry your grandmother took such hatred with her to the grave - it is so important to work these resentwents out when we are alive. If your mother is able to, it would be good for her to release any attachment she has to what has happened in her family. At that point your grandmother will have a choice - to heal and go into the light or go somewhere else and work out her rage. Either way, your mama doesn't need to be tormented by her any longer. But your mom does need to let go of her own attachments, and that includes sadness or resentment she may feel for how she was treated. And the other posters are right - mothers do severely harm their children when they themselves are so wounded they can't heal for the sake of their children. I had childhood wounds (like all of us) that I healed because I saw what it was doing to my son.
taz890 (12 stories) (1380 posts)
+3
7 years ago (2011-04-14)
what a great story thank you so much for sharing.
It is always nice to hear of loved ones comming back to be with there family in times of need.
I feel so sorry for your mum not being able to build the bridges with her mum before she passed and the way her spirit acted afterwards, I hope your mum has forgiven her mum for this.
And as for your finishing comments I know anyone who reads this will find it very interesting and like me look forward to your next story.
One last thing I agree with zzgranny if not already your mum should go to her mums grave and try to make up with her and her sisters too family is important.
Thanks again ❀ 😊 ❀
Carl
zzsgranny (18 stories) (3312 posts) mod
+2
7 years ago (2011-04-14)
pulsus: Wow... I agree with Miracles that your Grandfather's visits were a blessing, and I'm sure you cherish them...

I'm wondering if the events with your Mom still continue, or have they subsided in the last three years?...I feel like maybe at first you grandmother's resentment toward your Mom had her doing things like wanting to harm her...But, I also think that it's possible that she regrets having treated your mother so... Maybe your Mom should visit her gravesite, and let her know that she's forgiven your grandmother, and harbors no ill will toward her... It couldn't hurt anything...

Del176: Yeah, what Miracles said... There are numerous accounts of "mothers harming their children"...Think of Susan Smith, and most recently, the mother who drove off a ramp in Newburgh, New York, into the Hudson river and killed not only herself, but four of her children...Jus' sayin'...
cosmogal926 (9 stories) (1223 posts)
+2
7 years ago (2011-04-14)
So true Miracles. Just this week on the news a mother took her 3 children put them in her minivan and drove it into the Hudson River. Killed herself and her children. Why? Because the children's father cheated on her. There was a 4th child in the van. Her oldest 10 years old, he escaped out the window before it sank. Told the police she said "If I'm going to die, you're going to die with me" It's so sickening and sad to hear of a mother doing these things.

I'm sorry, please excuse the interruption pulsus.
❀
Miracles51031 (36 stories) (4802 posts) mod
+4
7 years ago (2011-04-14)
Del176 - not to stir up controversy here, but one of your comments is really inaccurate. Mothers do hurt their children. It happens every minute of every day. Mothers abuse their children. It's sad, sick and it makes me hurt and cry to think about it, but it's real life and it does happen😭.

Sorry, Pulsus.
Del176 (8 posts)
-1
7 years ago (2011-04-14)
great story! And I think your grandmother won't hurt your mom... A mother would never hurt their own child... Unless she doesn't want to enter st. Peter's gates lol but if I was your mother the next time something like that happens she should try and make peace have her try and talk to your grandmother what she would say to her after all those years of not talking. Your grandmother probably just wants revenge or something... But she won't hurt her... Or her soul will never cross over.
cosmogal926 (9 stories) (1223 posts)
+1
7 years ago (2011-04-14)
This is such a sad story. I'm so sorry your mother was seen as an outcast to the family just because she had a loving relationship with her father. It's a shame that her mother took all her resentment and frustration out on her own daughter. Even in death she still wanted to cause her harm. That is just horrible. I'm glad that your mother was able to feel her father's spirit around her and be comforted by him. I hope that both of your grandparents are resting in peace now. Thanks, and take care. ❀
Miracles51031 (36 stories) (4802 posts) mod
+2
7 years ago (2011-04-14)
Pulsus - even though most of this story is not happy, I think you and your family have had wonderful experiences with your grandfather. You have been blessed and I would treasure these moments forever.
Scooby (20 posts)
+2
7 years ago (2011-04-14)
Well, I for one, thoroughly enjoyed your story. Gave me goosebumps! I have no sound advise to offer, but just be safe. Best wishes to you, your mum and step father. It's a shame there is so much family strife for no reason, no legitimate reason. That part hurts my heart.

Please take care of yourself and your family.
Blessings,
Kellye

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