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Demons Keep Me Company

 

I've always sought knowledge of the unseen that provokes feelings and emotions that have no real base in what is happening in reality. I spent the first 20 years of my life trying to kill myself, not not wholeheartedly, but living with a complete disregard for my health and safety. After several mhu visits between ages 19-21 I had settled into stability and a degree of success and was renting a studio apartment in goshen, NY famous for the Orange Inn (Jason).

I began to have an overwhelming feeling that someone was watching me through the vents in the ceiling and developed insomnia. Also found myself yelling at the ceiling often. Eventually I started to get some sleep. Was doing some ghost hunting on occasion and running into a lot of satanic imagery at various sites.

Started finally drifting to sleep one night, had my first night terror, woke up (lights were on) and saw a figure like the subject of the painting THE SCREAM sitting on my couch. It then bolted towards me and restrained me from behind while I felt it biting into my back. Fought hard until finally I was free and it was gone, but however I felt its presence long after that. I couldn't really close my eyes without the situation repeating itself for weeks and by then I was strung out on drugs and alcohol and behaving suicidally. Forgot to mention right before this started to happen I got a Masonic Pentagram tattooed on my right bicep, but inverted.

I wound up in a group home for 18 months, nothing happened while I was there, and I completed the program and moved in with a friend for a short while then got my own place in Rock Hill, NY. Everything was fine for a little while and I was very successful.

Then I began getting various visitors at night. It began as the last time, but soon their numbers grew and their figures varied. It didn't matter if I was alone or had company, they came anyway. At first I was constantly terrified, but then became curious. Instead of panic, I'd interact with them.

Once I was surrounded by a mostly group of what I had come to understand as demons and I turned to look at the wall only to be greeted by one right in my face. I tried to poke it and my finger passed through it, but then it proceeded to poke me on my forehead and I felt it. These phenomena seemed guaranteed to occur in my bedroom so I avoided that room, not out of fear but needing rest for my high-stress job. I purchased a Santa Muerta candle to try and harness some of the activity and power. I also got a bophemet-esque tattoo on my left bicep and later a tattoo of the word legion with an inverted Pentagram for the "O" on my left forearm.

At this point my life was getting crazy, these visitors were getting out of hand, and I felt great.

I met a girl and she moved in with me. The first night she spent, she slept in the bedroom and I on the couch as that was my habit. She was angry, but dealt with it. The next morning she was angrier as she told me that during the night she woke up to see a dark male figure at the foot of the bed watching her sleep. She thought it was me, but it didn't respond to her and she got crazy scared and then it dissipated. After that I began to sleep in the bed with her.

The last notable thing that happened was that I woke up in what I felt was hell (an evil version of my bedroom) she was sleeping next to me and something grabbed me by the legs and spun me around violently. While I was spinning a ferocious dog attacked my manhood and I felt intense pain and discomfort there. I feared for her safety above all else and started screaming her name to warn her. She heard this and woke up and shook me until I was better. After that night I experienced a few pleasant episodes by her side, then nothing.

We eventually moved to the south and I eagerly want to see what's going on down here. I tell this story first because I have the firmest grasp on it and it has the longest span (10years or so). Tell me what you think!

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The following comments are submitted by users of this site and are not official positions by yourghoststories.com. Please read our guidelines and the previous posts before posting. The author, angelswillfall, has the following expectation about your feedback: I will read the comments and participate in the discussion.

Pjod (3 stories) (978 posts)
+4
6 years ago (2011-09-29)
your girl is carrying your child? That changes everything in my opinion. No longer can it be about you. Your posts have a lot of detail in how "you like to roll"...This atmosphere you've embraced will be traumatic to a child. I've come to find, the hardest thing about having children? Major ego adjustment. Your priorities either change, or your family suffers.
There IS still time. Make the changes you need now, before you become a bi-weekly parent, with your kid calling someone else "Dad"
Javelina (4 stories) (3749 posts)
+2
6 years ago (2011-09-28)
It's either that or Aussie's got a head start on the beer situation. 😆

Jav 😊
DARKNESS (3 stories) (2022 posts)
+3
6 years ago (2011-09-28)
Aussie my mate I reckon pretty much every post you have made on ygs has either made me laugh or has been really informative buddy, what a champ! 😁

Granny I will have the beer part thanks! I'm sure Daz will join me on that, he's nearly there! Oh yeh and the rest of the Loonies! 😁 ❤

(Sorry for the interruption angelswillfall)
zzsgranny (18 stories) (3312 posts) mod
+1
6 years ago (2011-09-28)
I think it's more like "add coffee, or beer" LOL 😆...Is that the Miss Demeanor I hear rumbling? 😆
Javelina (4 stories) (3749 posts)
+3
6 years ago (2011-09-28)
angelswillfall and Aussie,
You two made me smile reading this. Thanks you.

Jav 😊

~Oh yeah, we're all just one big sack of psychos around here. Just add water and stir. 😆~
aussiedaz (18 stories) (1276 posts)
+2
6 years ago (2011-09-28)
Your a good man that has had some unlucky breaks angelswillfall and its good you knowing about your condition, that will help you over come the night terrors over a period of time with medication and good health care for sure... And yes I agree sane people are just as crazy, I'm too scared to go and get myself all checked out just in case they keep me... And congratulations with the news of your girlfriends pregnancy... Your only young mate, starting a family and taking the responsible route will enrich your life in ways that you couldn't dream off... You can always come back here and talk with us mate if you feel a need too, there are plenty of crazy people here that understand what your going through and will take the time to listen.

Best wishes Daz
angelswillfall (1 stories) (12 posts)
+2
6 years ago (2011-09-28)
Thanks for all of the feedback errbody. Your concerns for the well-being of my girlfriend have made me take a step back, especially since she is carrying my child. I just like to 'go hard ' all the time, I know there are consequence and I spend my downtime physically and mentally preparing for them. I'm likely to pull the suicide switch if I feel its absolutely necessary. My time in the mhu was crazy. The first time I actually tried to kill another patient. I am schizophrenic and I let errbody know. But 'sane' people seem crazier to me than I am. Yes, these things may be my mind working on me, but I have been dealing with my psychosis for years and am very self aware and I am absolutely sure when I am becoming symptomatic. I go straight to the hospital when this happens. These 'visitors' came at times when I was very stable. Believe it or not, the drugs and hallucinations actually keep these things away from me. But I'm not here going crazy to try and avoid these things, probably to my benefit. 😐
koalagirl (3 stories) (111 posts)
 
6 years ago (2011-09-28)
hi thankyou for sharing your story, you are talking about demons nothing good will come from them, cheers god bless.
aussiedaz (18 stories) (1276 posts)
+3
6 years ago (2011-09-28)
Angelswillfall, My first thoughts after reading your story, makes me wonder what's behind the suicidal thoughts that have plagued you for more than 20 years, it does sound like you have had a pretty hard life mate and probably a rotten childhood as well, my next thoughts have me wondering if you may have some chemical deficiencies with in your neurological systems of which mixed in with drugs and booze has brought on these experiences of night terrors and demon attacks... I think this realm of terror you put yourself into during the middle of the night is basically you verse your inner demons... There may be a separate source of paranormal activity from the dark side involved in the whole process, but don't believe for one minute you can't get away from it... I understand how real and how terrifying these demons and realms seem to you, I have had a couple of bouts myself and after laughing at them and dissolving the potential terror of the oncoming experience I soon realized that it was me creating the experience from a place deep with in my own sub conscious, very hard to confess it was my imagination but it was... And I suspect when you started screaming at the ceiling mate, your reactions with all mentioned prior was the signal to bring on these bouts with your inner demons... And I can understand how you have submitted yourself to the your demons in a way to feel accepted with in these realms and their presence... But mate, you don't want to put yourself into one of them realms when you go, because that is the real risk of wishing for such a place... I can detect the goodness in you mate... Stay of the drugs, go get yourself checked all out and I hope you enjoy the better things in life that could make a big difference to your experiences and current thoughts... You could also consider facing your demons and letting them know who's the boss... It works for me.

Daz
zzsgranny (18 stories) (3312 posts) mod
 
6 years ago (2011-09-27)
hhhmmm...This link might work better LOL 😆

Http://www.churchofsatan.com/home.html

Sorry, the devil made me do it! 😆 😆
zzsgranny (18 stories) (3312 posts) mod
+1
6 years ago (2011-09-27)
Reasearching this topic really wasn't all that hard... I went right to the source:

Hyyp://churchofsatan.com/home.html

(For anyone interested)

I read some of the interviews of LaVey, all very interesting... I have somewhat more of a mental grasp of the philosophies, etc... I agree with the "individualistic" premise, but not the self serving one... In LaVey's own words, it is a religion...Well, it was in the first interview I read from 1972; but it morphed into a "philosophy" about 20 years later, so I still don't really get that part 😆...

My conclusion: C'est la vie 😊
Bodhisattva (1 stories) (6 posts)
 
6 years ago (2011-09-27)
You can still experience supernatural things on a more positive level, you are obviously a good person with good intentions as shown by your desire to protect your girlfriend, why not try to draw in non physical beings with good intentions also? There are plenty out there, I have had the pleasure of meeting some, but I have also had the displeasure of meeting demons, and people troubled by them.
charisma1 (2 posts)
 
6 years ago (2011-09-27)
Please, be careful. These things, may not harm you now, but may very well do so, and may hurt your girlfriend before hurting you. Sometimes they start to come around certain people without knowing why at all, and hard to get rid of, so you should not incourage them to come around any more.
ILee (1 stories) (91 posts)
 
6 years ago (2011-09-27)
Angelswillfall,

By now, it's no mystery to anyone that you're an adrenaline junkie. Not saying that there's anything wrong with that. But I do agree that there's a positive way in which you can both experience the paranormal AND still get that rush you're looking for. My concern for you is that while you're seeking for that rush, you're only concern is "in the now," and getting your "fix" while not being too concerned with what happens after. You're treading in deep waters here and I'm worried that you might reach that point of no return. It seems to me that the adrenaline that you use to get from doing drugs and alcohol is now being replaced with the adrenaline that you are now seeking with Satanism.

You said, "My problem is that that's the way I learn and as hard as I've tried I can't change it so I just embraced it." I'm not sure what you mean by you can't change it... Do you mean you can't because you feel stuck or can't because you don't want to?

It seems to me that your girlfriend is terried of your night visitors that you openly welcome. Are you ever scared for her safety? It's not really my place, but if I may openly speak here, and I'll only say this... What you're dealing with will drive everyone that's important to you away. Are you willing to take that risk? Remember, you are responsible for whatever you're invoking. So PLEASE be careful and I do hope that you find peace.
Boombox (1 stories) (7 posts)
 
6 years ago (2011-09-27)
Granny: I completely understand what you mean. When I first picked up The Satanic Bible the last thing I expected was there to be no Devil.

Also, I agree that negativity needs to be balanced by positivity and I hope that Angels will find this out for himself as well.

You guys are awesome.
Javelina (4 stories) (3749 posts)
+1
6 years ago (2011-09-27)
[at] EvilAlbear,
The flashbacks were meant as a threat to keep us away from drugs. They don't exist, never did.

Jav 🤔
Pjod (3 stories) (978 posts)
+2
6 years ago (2011-09-27)
Albear,
your ex prob. Is just being a bit dramatic. LSD flashbacks are only myth. Albert Hoffman (inventor) and Timothy Leary both lived long lives despite their use... With no type of "flashbacks"...sorry, just bugs me to hear folks talk like that, as if they experienced some war (battle) bringing on these phoney symptoms.
EvilAlbear (2 stories) (14 posts)
-3
6 years ago (2011-09-27)
Nice story man. I think that if communicating or coming into any sort of contact with these entities is a rush or thrill for you then by all means, keep doing what you're doing. Although, be warned that these things can backfire and cause complete, sometimes permanent, disaster and stress in your life. I don't think these entities are actual demons from hell or anything of that sort but may be the spirits of Satanists that are attracted by satanic imagery you portray in your body art or the kind of music you listen to or the people you associate with. If you have satanist friends then these may be demons that came into contact and followed you home after seeing that you too share their values and love for the IDEA of Satan. Or they can simply be the affects of drug use and constant hallucinations from past drug experiences that won't go away. Believe it or not I have an ex girlfriend who took acid ONCE without doing any other sort of drugs in her whole life and experiences some sort of hallucination or vivid flashback at least every other day. I believe this to be a permanent affect of that one time she experimented with LSD, but hey that's just my opinion.

I personally don't believe in a God or Satan but agree that one can be an atheist with Satanic morals or values or what have you. I plan on getting a tattoo of Baphomet on my forearm as soon as I turn 18 not because I am a Satanist but because I'm somewhat against Christian values and love Satanic, obscene imagery that freaks people out and the artists and bands I listen to usually use this kind of imagery to give their music a sense of evil and darkness which I love. Two band tattoos that I plan for in the future all have satanic imagery while members of the bands are a mix of atheists, satanists, and even devout Christians. I think that it's all a matter of what your interests are and the kind of values you'd like to incorporate into your life. I mean if a Christian man can sing songs that talk about Satan's might or mock Jesus Christ and humiliate Christians in any form, then that man is a Satanic Christian in my eyes.

So in conclusion I feel that I could refer to myself as a Satanic Atheist. That may sound like a contradiction to some so If it does, I am sorry that you don't comprehend the point that I am trying to get across.
Indigo (263 posts)
+1
6 years ago (2011-09-27)
Moongrim, thank you for that posting, and I agree with the spelling and diagnosis.

Angels, thank you for your story, and id like to ask: have you gone to be checked for schizophrenia? My Adopted grandfather was schizophrenic and had many of the same things happen as you are describing here. I'm not discounting your story, but we need to check all bases before stamping your experiences with a title.

You say that you were abusing drugs and alcohol, may I ask if you've stopped that, or are you continuing this method of self medicating?

"satanism" has nothing to do with the theatrics of Television and Christian propaganda. Boombox is correct. It has evolved instead into a form of extreme hedonism in which the person worships themselves as autonomous (Gods on earth, basically).
cidf (3 posts)
 
6 years ago (2011-09-27)
Number one,
DO NOT communicate or associate with these beings! No wonder it got out of control and more started visiting. No one usually pays them any attention. But BINGO you actually encourage it! They're thinking sweeet! Look what we have here!
If you encourage these things or think negatively or as you said had satanic imagery you are going to attract these things. Once they're there they are likely to attach themselves to your house or you or b oth. And they will not be easily removed.
Also I have no idea why you would want to attract these things. You have no idea what you are dealing with. It can become dangerous. Why not try to attract angelic beings or beings that are more highly evolved. Only the lower astral entities and elementals are going to be attracted to any sort of ritual or whatever.
I suggest you do not meddle again. Also, alcohol and drugs. They both damage your aura. Due to this you are more open and vunerable to these beings who may mean you harm. It also lowers your vibrations and again makes it easier for them to reach you. When you fall asleep you will go to the lower astral plane where the least evolved forms reside. So yes think demons and other nasty beasties.
Hope this is eye opening to some and again I would suggest that no one meddle in these things. It can open you up to dangerous situations or just have a negative influence on your life.
Nysa (4 stories) (685 posts)
+2
6 years ago (2011-09-26)
I blame Anton LaVey, in my opinion it was a huge mistake to name the belief system (Satanism) based on what others thought of it rather than on what the followers believe. I sort of understand the attitude behind it, but still, I don't think it is best to muddy the waters.
zzsgranny (18 stories) (3312 posts) mod
 
6 years ago (2011-09-26)
Dusty, angelswillfall, Boombox etc: Maybe the old saying that you can't teach an old dog new tricks applies to my sense of logic but: saying that Satanism isn't devil worship is like saying that "some" Christians don't worship Christ... In my mind, those statements make absolutely no sense...

Please don't misunderstand my comment, I'm not trying to argue this point... I will indeed do some research on this topic and see if I can in some way convince myself of the possibility of such a thing, but at this point it just doesn't seem reasonable to me...

My main focus on this thread is angelswillfall, and his well being, now and in the future... All I ask is that you reconsider the path you've chosen... You don't have to believe in any God/gods/goddesses, Satan/demons/devils, leprechans or pink elephants... But do make an attempt to bring some light into your life... Negativity needs to balanced by positivity... I think if you've had the opportunity to have a positive experience like I and many others on this site have had, you would find the same rush, and thrill... And maybe walk away saying to yourself, "Wow, that was pretty cool" 😊

Enough mother hen, I'll get back to ya'all on the new trick and whether I can still learn one 😆
DragonStorm80 (1 stories) (440 posts)
 
6 years ago (2011-09-26)
Did anything happen to you while you were in hospital at all? Like do you think that one particular thing may have/is following you wherever you go and that in turn attracts more beings to you, Along with the adrenaline you seem to crave?

And you say things have been quiet since you met a lady, but do you think it is just a quiet period and something is about to happen again?
dustyisdead (2 stories) (90 posts)
+3
6 years ago (2011-09-26)
I think some may be confusing modern Satanism with devil worship.

Devil worship includes ceremonies or blasphemy and spells and all that nice and creepy stuff you see in the movies. The majority of the stories involving devil worship stem from the "Satanic Panic" from the 80's and early 90's. Actual cases of Satanic Ritual abuse have been documented, but are extremely rare.

Modern Satanism, as in the Church of Satan, actually doesn't even involved Satan, like someone else already stated. It's actually a form of self-worship that doesn't believe in the devil or any form of supernatural being. It's entirely possible for a Satanist to be an Atheist if we are talking about a member of the Church of Satan.

Hope that clears up some confusion.
By the way, I'm neither lol.
zzsgranny (18 stories) (3312 posts) mod
+4
6 years ago (2011-09-26)
Well, there are stories on this site that a ten year old should not even look at the title of, let alone read and comment on... So no, no exceptions...
jpr11011 (1 stories) (7 posts)
-3
6 years ago (2011-09-26)
[at] zzsgranny

Miac isn't hurting anyone by posting. I know that's the rules, but I think an exception now and then is appropriate.

I was around that age when I first had a paranormal experience, and younger when I began to suspect that ghosts exist.
zzsgranny (18 stories) (3312 posts) mod
+1
6 years ago (2011-09-26)
Miac: Last warning... You are only 10 years old... The "Comments Guidelines" state that you MUST be 13 years or older to comment:

"You must be 13 years or older to post a comment. If you are under 18 years old, please do not divulge personal information that could make it possible for someone to find you, for your own safety. If you are 18 years and older, it is up to you, but we still do not encourage the practice. Please use common sense."

Please read the Comments Guidelines a the bottom of the page...😐
angelswillfall (1 stories) (12 posts)
 
6 years ago (2011-09-26)
Also, most of you are taking yourselves too seriously. Do you guys get judged like this in your stories? Let me know cause I've read a lot of stuff on here that isn't that great or amazing or credible and I recognize a lot of names and it seems like some of you like to stroke each other real hard 😲
angelswillfall (1 stories) (12 posts)
-1
6 years ago (2011-09-26)
Yes, I was on lots of drugs at various points in my life and also had long periods of complete sobriety. These events took place over periods of either just mild alcohol consumption or complete sobriety. Also baphomet, yeah sorry, spellcheck. You took it to another level though by being rude. Don't know why all the butthurt people. Please point me toward more credible stories who's authors were fearless enough to disclose as much as me rather than hide their drug use and and psychosis or are simply undiagnosed ranting lunatics
Moongrim (2 stories) (871 posts)
+3
6 years ago (2011-09-26)
What I think?

Involves paranoid schizophrenia and medicines.

By the way- It's spelled B-A-P-H-O-M-E-T. And the only 'satanic atheists' in existence are those who dare to point out the foolishness of theists.

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