I don't know what to say really. These past several days have been like nothing I could ever imagine. I feel as though my entire life has been setting itself up for what has occurred. Things done in my past I believe have triggered this sexual ghost to appear in my life and take over.
Long story short I allowed some things to be done to me that I never should have allowed; most of these events occurred when I was high off marijuana including the events that follow. Let me just explain that I'm not gay, it may not seem like it since I've been having sex with a male ghost and at times it was pure ecstasy but that's only because I sometimes have enjoyed anal stimulation. I don't quite understand this myself but I swear I've tested this, whenever I tried to look at another guy whether it be p0rnography or just someone on the streets I get no feeling of lust or desire. The opposite can be said for women.
Anyway it all started with a slight sensation then progressively became more and more real. It teased my most sexually sensitive places, made me aroused like nothing I had ever felt before. It got to the point where the more I got into it the stronger it became. I swear I could hear it speak to me, at the most three words at a time. On two occasions it blew air on me. The more we had sex the more intense it became, especially when I got stoned. I began to hear his breathing, feel his hands on me, his lips touching mine, and his hips thrusting against me. I began to get attached, and made the mistake of saying I love you. It said this to me also. I know now it was just telling me what I wanted to hear. When it was done I felt tired and drained and would talk to it telling it "not now" or "later".
I should never have allowed it to get that far. I was a fool to think it respected when and where to mess with me, because it didn't. It did not matter whether I was at school, in the car, or at my house. Just constantly there was that feeling. Once after sex I went and smoked some bud. This was really bad. I remember talking to my cousin outside trying to shake this thing off me without looking like a complete maniac. That basically made me quit weed. I haven't smoked for about a month and a half and things have been pretty peaceful except for the occasional feeling.
Last night though got worse. It woke me three times at 2, 3, and 5 in the morning with vivid nightmares. I eventually climbed into bed with my mother. The last time I woke up I had just been having another weird dream and right when my eyes opened I felt its arm wrap around me while spooning and then kiss my neck. AH I immediately shook it off and refused to go back to bed.
I'm done with this thing, I don't want to be a sinner and have this thing run my life. Any advise would be appreciated. I pray all the time, I guess the guardian angles are on break, or just punishing me for forgetting them in my stoned out sex with this sucubi ghost demon thing.
I'm going to try putting salt around my bed tonight see if that works. My advise to anyone. Once you start feeling it, DONT get into it. The feeling's not worth it.
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