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My Good Friends Phone Call

 

So I'm not entirely sure if this site has genuine people but I have read a few stories and believe that there are a few so here goes my encounter or I hope it was as some sort of comfort.

In November of 2011 a very good friend of mine took his own life. He was the partner of my best friend and they had a young son together. If you didn't know them they were the perfect couple but behind closed doors there was a lot of drink and drugs involved which as you all know is not a good combination as it leads to paranoia and other mental states which causes problems.

In the September my friend decided to leave Mark along with their son as the relationship had become too volatile. Mark went completely downhill from here and it was like no matter how hard he tried to pick himself up the drink and drugs would pull him back down. It was very sad to see as we all had some very good times together. My daughter adored him and I am godmother to their beautiful boy this is how close we all were.

Just before Mark took his life I would say 3 weeks maximum another one of our 'supposed' friends had said a few things about me and mark to my friend (we will call her Marie) which were completely untrue and caused a rift between us all. My last conversation with Mark was neither a nice or pleasant conversation and to this day I simply cannot get over as that was the last time I spoke to my beautiful friend before his actions that dreadful day.

On the 24th of November my friend rang me in tears Mark had sent her a text message telling her he was very sorry but it was too late for him, he had done this before so the fact he had cried wolf before she did not quite believe him at first, but unfortunately this time he had gone through with his threat and we lost Mark a few days later in Hospital. I was absolutely devastated as I explained earlier my last words were not good, I simply could not come to terms with it.

The night Mark passed away I was asleep with my partner he woke me and said Stace are you ok, I was crying uncontrollably, although I was asleep it was like I wasn't asleep. I dreamt that Mark had called me on my mobile, I can hear it as clear to day as then, he was laughing in his little laugh telling me to stop being sad, he was in a happy place and he was feeling so much better, he was joking like he did in life. It was an amazing conversation and it brought me some comfort to think he may have visited me in my dream after our last words were not good.

I still cannot get my head around how he thought that was his only way out but can someone visit your dreams, I would like to think so... That dream is the only thing to suggest me and him were ok and he wasn't angry anymore

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The following comments are submitted by users of this site and are not official positions by yourghoststories.com. Please read our guidelines and the previous posts before posting. The author, Staceyanne1985, has the following expectation about your feedback: I will participate in the discussion and I need help with what I have experienced.

cosmogal926 (9 stories) (1223 posts)
+2
5 years ago (2012-08-24)
Stacey, I agree with all the other posters. I am very sorry for the loss of your friend and for the way in which he passed. I believe Mark came to put your mind at ease by letting you know he was happy and at peace with your friendship.
geetha50 (15 stories) (986 posts)
+3
5 years ago (2012-08-24)
First, the answer to your question has been answered already; yes, spirits can communicate with us though dreams. I believe it's the easiest way to communicate with us as we have our guards down the most at that time. My grandmother has communicate with the most often when I'm in that state.

As for your guilt, Granny couldn't have said it any better. As a social worker, I have seen it so many times. It's never fair when we lose someone we truly care about and it's made harder when they die of something like suicide. The only comfort is knowing that they are in a better place and that they are not in pain anymore. The only thing we could do is try to get over those painfully emotions that we go though.

You mentioned somewhere in your story that everyone who truly cared for Mark was devastated. You have to understand, (I have seen it with many suicide victims) Mark was in a place in his life where he couldn't dig himself out (and as you said, he tried really hard). That hole he dug himself into was deeper than deep and darker than dark and to him there was no way out. I know what you are thinking, "we care for him, he could have tried for us". But you have to understand that he must have thought about that and probably made him sink deeper into that hole. We may never know what kind of physical and mental turmoil Mark or everyone like him go though to push them over the edge and end their lives.

I know I'm going to lose points for this but what the hey. Your story just proved a point. Many cultures and faiths say that suicide is considered a sin and the soul would never cross over. I saw that every case is different. In the case of Mark, it was a relive for him when he died because all of the darkness of the drinks and drugs were gone. (I came to this conclusion with what he said in your dream). There are people who kill themselves and now feel guilty for what they did so they stay behind either because the guilt is holding them back or they choose to stay behind to correct the wrong by helping the living. What I said is just a theory and I don't think sin has anything to do with it. I also believe that we should help the spirit who are bounded here by guilt or some other emotion cross over.

As for Mark, I truly believe that he is in peace with himself and has crossed over and that he will visit whenever he is needed. With that being said, I don't think you and any of those people who truly cared about Mark should hold on to your guilt and should forgive yourselves and let Mark truly crossover in peace.

As Granny said, forgive yourself and visit his burial site or even think about him in a positive manner.
ladycastlemaine (8 stories) (14 posts)
+1
5 years ago (2012-08-23)
I do genuinely believe spirits can communicate through dreams, especially when it is a light sleep. I've had a few of these too and it has given me a peculiar kind of closure and feeling of peace.
PD1981 (1 stories) (3 posts)
+2
5 years ago (2012-08-23)
Staceyanne,

First of all and most importantly, my deepest and sincerest thoughts, condolences and sympathies on the loss of your friend. I'm so, so sorry

I do believe that the dead communicate to us through our dreams. I've had quite a few relatives communicate to me in this way and I presume it's to let me know they're OK and that they're watching over me. I think this is perhaps the one medium they can use in which they can make their voices heard and get their message across. I know other people this has happened to as well

Good luck and take care
PD1981
shellzy (8 stories) (218 posts)
+4
5 years ago (2012-08-22)
Hi Staceyanne

I had a boyfriend when I was younger that also took his own life and I know how terrible this can be. I think granny is spot on saying we can forgive others but self forgiveness is very hard.

My ex's close friends and I lived with the guilt of his passing for quite some time and went over the whole "I could have stopped this" or " I should have done more". Ultimately as sad as it was, it was his choice to make and you couldn't have possibly known that it was going to happen.

I can understand that it is very hard, but try and let go of the guilt, I am sure he does not want you to carry pain for the rest of your life. He would want you to be happy 😊.

I have been visited too by my friends, family and even pets that have passed on in my dreams. I know in my heart that these are no ordinary dreams and they have either come to say goodbye or are simply saying hello. It's a nice feeling to know that they are all still with me. 😊

Take Care 😊
lsandhu (2 stories) (360 posts)
+2
5 years ago (2012-08-22)
I would absolutely accept this as his last gift to you and believe that he visited you to let you know that things were okay between you. Please forgive yourself and move on.
adsouza (guest)
+2
5 years ago (2012-08-22)
I totally understand Staceyanne. I had a similar experience. Thank you for sharing.
zetafornow (4 stories) (447 posts)
+3
5 years ago (2012-08-22)
Sorry for the loss of your friend. Suicide is such a horrible thing for the family and friends to deal with. If the person committing the act would realize that, they probably wouldn't do this. However, most people are not thinking that way when they take their own lives. I believe your friend came to you as a very unselfish act... To make you realize that you should continue on with your life and not have any guilty feelings about your last conversation. I have been contacted through dreams more times than any other way. If you feel it, then it is. When you wake up and you really feel as if that person were with you, they were. I think too often when we get a sign from a loved one, we want to "debunk" it rather than accept it and embrace it. However, it sounds as if you understand that this truely was a blessing from a friend. Good luck to you and again, sorry for your loss.

Zeta.
NiNiNogginHead (33 posts)
+1
5 years ago (2012-08-22)
Whether your friend visited you in your dreams or it was your subconsious he was probably trying to make you feel like what you said to him wasn't your fault and you shouldn't feel bad. Sorry for your loss.
zzsgranny (18 stories) (3312 posts) mod
+6
5 years ago (2012-08-22)
Staceyanne: I believe our loved ones can/do contact us through our dreams...I've had my own experiences with family, friends, and others... For me, it's the most common form of contact, I think because I'm normally so busy throughout the day it's the only time they can get my attention long enough to say anything 😆 😆...

I have to ask, have you gone to his gravesite yet?...If not, then why not pay him a visit and let him know you got his message...It's funny, we have no problem forgiving others, but self forgiveness takes so much more... We tend to tell ourselves "if I'd only known!"...Well, you didn't know, and holding on to that regret will wear on you... Forgive yourself, and go pay him a visit ❤
champion (3 stories) (172 posts)
+2
5 years ago (2012-08-22)
Staceyanne1985- It sounds like you feel as though you could have done something to prevent what happened and punishing yourself over the last words spoke in anger and whether its him telling you in a dream or your own subconscious telling you it still means the same, that its not your fault and he doesn't hold it against you. Make peace with yourself and thanks for sharing your story!
Gargoyle (51 posts)
+5
5 years ago (2012-08-22)
Staceyanne
Thanks for posting this and I am sorry for your loss.
A few years ago a friend of mine died of throat cancer. We had been close when we were younger. We were musicians and had played in a few bands together but had become, for want of a better word, estranged when he was asked to leave the last band I was in with him, due to his drug taking and the anti social behaviour the drugs caused. When I heard that he had died, I felt really guilty as I know that music was really important to him and our friendship was also. I felt that I had betrayed him and that maybe him being kicked out of the band may have played a part in his demise. Now I know that there was really nothing I could have done.
Anyway, just after his death, he came to my wife in a dream and told her that he was fine and happy and that everything was OK between him and myself. The way my wife described him was what he looked like about 10-15 years before my wife met him. Even what he was wearing was the sort of thing he would have worn when he was around 18.
I think the reason that he didn't appear to me in a dream is that I am about as sensitive as a concrete wall!
Your story really reminded me of my friend.
Again, thanks for sharing.

Gargoyle
rookdygin (24 stories) (4325 posts)
+3
5 years ago (2012-08-22)
It is my opinion that our departed loved ones can visit us in our dreams. It's easier for them as spirits to enter our dreams as our subconscious minds are 'more open' to the 'other side'.

There are some 'theories' that say our loved ones do this once they 'cross over'...this of course means different things to different individuals... It could mean the 'moment of death' (becoming a spirit) or it could refer to when the spirit crosses over from being 'earth bound' to being completely in the 'spirit realm'. Once a spirit has done this they can then choose to interact with us or to 'move on'. Both 'earth bound' or 'crossed over' spirits can interact with us provided there is enough energy for them to do so.

So it's possible that your friend sought to comfort you in his 'final moments'. I hope you were able to clear everything up with your other friend, thank you for sharing this with us.

Respectfully,

Rook

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