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Searching For Lydia

 

I am deployed in Afghanistan right now as a civilian environmentalist in western Afghanistan near Iran. This story is a lot longer, if you want to read it all, just ask me.

It's not every day that one has the opportunity to see a ghost. Or rather feel it. No amount of literature, of which there is plenty, movies, or the amount of people that claim they know all about it can prepare one for the actual experience of feeling a foreign presence in your mind. History is awash in stories where spirits inhabit people on the earth. Ancient peoples and texts abound with the idea of spirits.

Coming from a Caribbean background, my past is fairly littered with the ways that spirits are there, walk among us and even speak to us. I watched all the horror movies of evil spirits when I was a kid; I heard all of the stories told orally. The kinds of stories that kept you up at all hours, jumping at every bump in the night; yet, I am not talking about possession by evil spirits, which is what many people think when I bring up the subject of Lydia. It's a seductive, lovely, warm feeling, a total polar opposite to the Linda Blair, head-on-aswivel, demon possession of The Exorcist. Webster's defines the word of spirit as: a supernatural, incorporeal being, especially one inhabiting a place, object, etc., or having a particular character, or an angel or demon. It then goes straight into evil spirits, that place where most people confronted by an unknown entity will go. The word spirit actually means breath, from the Latin, spiritus. The main point being that the spirit resides in respiration, as in 'he breathed life into that old car'. The world of the spirits and the natural world are constantly in contact with each other, and someone who can participate in this interaction is called a medium.

Apparently, this is what I am, a medium, because I can communicate with the spirit world, or rather one spirit. It would seem that I have been channeling this female presence, this Lydia, for several years now.

I know that this sounds absolutely crazy, but since no one is going to read this, I figure I can say just about anything I want. I know one or two people are going to read this, and maybe get an immense enjoyment out of it, if only to poke some fun at the crazy guy. And I see myself this way, for real. Crazy, I mean. I seriously believe I am going to be that guy that walks around town in shabby Civil War clothes from the Goodwill and talking to myself. Only it will be Lydia I will be talking to, and this brings me to another interesting point. What if all of those "crazy" people that were muttering to themselves, that you made fun of as a kid (you know you did, I did too) are just within their own conversations with their own Lydias?

I intend to research this lady, perhaps the Scandinavian years. As I have a deep seated feeling that she is from Scandinavia, and yet there is a feeling that she has been all over the world. But that will be later. I think the Scandinavian ones would be more interesting. I was drawn to Scandinavia and in fact, just returned from a vacation there.

I am what some people would call a medium, or a channel, not really sure what it's called, but perhaps channel is what I do; as in a tunnel or conduit from the spirit world and this one.

Seriously, if someone had told me this several years ago that I would be a channel; I would have laughed and asked them if I could have some of the drugs they were taking. I have done some research and if the other channels in this world are a guide, I have a serious learning curve. There was Jane Roberts who channeled a male spirit named Seth and she wrote several books with her husband on the subject. J.Z Knight, channels a guy named Ramtha who is thirty thousand years old; Esther Hicks channeled a spirit or group of spirits called Abraham; Margaret McElroy channeled a spirit named Maitreya, which is one of the foretold incarnations of the future Buddha, which in Buddhism, I find an incredible beautiful peace. He is sometimes seen as the Budai, that happy, serene fat guy sitting in the front of some Chinese restaurants, and if you rub his expansive belly, you can get good luck. And the list goes on and on.

I am nowhere on a par with these mediums and mystics that channel these spirits. I just happen to channel Lydia, a gorgeous, black haired, green eyed beauty who I have fallen in love with. Yeah, I know how it sounds, I have said as much to my wife, who asked, why couldn't she just be married to a guy who cheated with a hot, Russian hooker on Peachtree Street in downtown Atlanta? I don't know, I guess it would have been so much easier to take. Where mine and Lydia's relationship differs with these famous people who channel is that they teach a beautiful and wondrous world and they love to share it with everyone else. I guess if there's a reason why she chose me, I have no idea what it is, and she isn't telling me. There really isn't any incredibly wonderful spirit knowledge that she holds for the world, because, well, because her world is me; and while that is gorgeous and flattering, I am afraid I don't get a fountain of profound wisdom from it. What I do get from it, is a profound sense of Love from her, and I suppose that this is a beautiful thing; at least to me. Yet, there is a very deep feeling of sadness, a sense of terrible loss, as if she has lost her memory, a kind of Alzheimer's. I feel she picked me because she knew I would fall in love and then I would do anything to help her find herself and get her back on a track to her journey the way it's supposed to be.

You see, love has been a very distant and illusory feeling; a tricky, indefinable and puzzling phantom. And yet there is a certain liberating feeling when you channel someone's spirit, it is a beautiful challenge. It is a series of mental gymnastics that perpetuates the story of her as she shows up on the porch step of my mind. It is a sweet and wonderful symbiosis when one is within a presence.

I guess this is how those mediums feel when they are feeling the presence of their special spirits. I have never asked a medium this, and so some may read this and call bullcrap; but this is how I see it and feel it, and since most of them are con-artists anyway, they can kiss my a**. I see her face in front of me, the long black hair, the emerald green eyes and those curves. It's not like a relationship, or a business arrangement, it's more like a love affair, only a love affair of a kiss only.

Like when I was a kid, my brother was dating a girl named Cheryl, she was older than he was and more mature, and much older than I was. She lived several doors down in the apartment complex we lived in. I knew what they were doing together, I had played doctor with a couple little girlfriends and so I had the opportunity to discover our parts and see what they looked like.

I watched him as he went to her house, so when he left, I went inside and simply asked her to kiss me, no more than that, I had never really kissed a girl, passionately, or otherwise, and frankly she was the only girl I knew that was pretty easy to kiss.

She certainly qualified as the older woman. And according to Tim, one of my brothers friends she was what most people would call easy. I couldn't ask the girl I was always hanging around with, Joney. She was a total tomboy; if I asked her to kiss me; she would have beaten the crap out of me. The only other women that kissed me was my mother and an aunt Josephina who kissed me out of guilt apparently, because she couldn't help pulling my cheeks away from my head so hard it threatened to tear my face off.

So I stood on a chair (I was quite a bit shorter than Cheryl), and puckered my lips, and she showed me how to kiss. I remember her sighing and being patient with me, she would laugh that tinkling little laugh she had and I can remember the power I felt when I realized I was the one who could make her laugh. This type of power was an incredible intoxicant to a 12-year-old, with braces on his legs, gangly limbs and thick black glasses. I was a target for bullies, not a guy accustomed to making a beautiful girl like Cheryl feel good.

This was one of the most fabulous times in my life, up to that point. One of the few times, that I had exited the strange autistic, emotionless mental area I was in at that time in my life, probably a direct result of all physical anomalies. I remember it so fondly, and this is the feeling I get when Lydia is around; it is like a Kiss; sweet and tender. Kind of scary, when you think about it but when I remember myself standing on the chair with my lips puckered, I can imagine Lydia leaning in for a kiss and the feeling is exquisite. It's not sexual; it's not really sensual, it happens to be small, innocent and a little sugary.

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Comments about this paranormal experience

The following comments are submitted by users of this site and are not official positions by yourghoststories.com. Please read our guidelines and the previous posts before posting. The author, Runswithlydia, has the following expectation about your feedback: I will read the comments and participate in the discussion.

vanlewie232711 (1 stories) (42 posts)
 
4 years ago (2013-11-24)
❀ I would also look toward the past life thing because I have heard that true love never dies and in the truth lies that we only have 1 true soul mate and they will go to each life we live and be that 1 "true love" I wish you luck and hopes that you find true peace ❀
chelly (4 posts)
+1
5 years ago (2012-10-12)
wow... This story makes a broken heart wanting to look for love again! I just got dumped by the man I wished to marry... And wierdly enough... This story brought a spark to my heart. I am soooooo curious to know the whole and full story.

Thank you for sharing your story and giving me hope to love again. Although I know this might NEVER happen to me, it still brings a smile on my face for the first time in 2 weeks. 😊
Runswithlydia (1 stories) (27 posts)
 
5 years ago (2012-09-19)
Kryodrache
Blithe Spirit? Now, I haven't heard that comparison, but I am flattered. One thing though, I don't use Lydia to talk to other spirits, just her. I was just using the comparison of other mediums who are much better than me to show the difference. If you read the whole story you will get a better idea, if nothing else a great view into my insanity! The link (I think) is in a comment below. Thanks for your beautiful words. I am off to comment on your wal mart story.
Runswithlydia (1 stories) (27 posts)
 
5 years ago (2012-09-19)
Aussiedaz, thanks for the comment. I have tried the automatic writing, but unfortunately, trying to find a quiet privacy here is like attempting to find Sean Hannity at an Obama town hall rally.
We are all crammed in this place together in tents, on a small base. I will be on R&R in a couple of weeks, so I will find the privacy then. If you like, I will post if I was successful or not.
Kryodrache (3 stories) (108 posts)
 
5 years ago (2012-09-19)
This story reminds me a whole bunch of the script Blithe Spirit. It's a fictional comedy, made for an on-stage play (or screenplay, if necessary) in which the spirit of a man's dead wife comes back to haunt him, and he experiences issues between both of them. In time, his spiritual lover attempted to kill him, so that he might join her in the afterlife.

In it is a very enjoyable character who is a medium. Now... The story gets a lot of things wrong, according to real-life accounts, but of course it's played up for comedic value. This was the first time I heard about someone using a spirit to channel or communicate with other spirits. And I'm a little startled to see it brought up here... I wasn't entirely sure if that was a real thing, or not! It certainly makes me think...

Thank you for sharing your experience. It's very wonderfully written, very professional.
aussiedaz (18 stories) (1276 posts)
 
5 years ago (2012-09-19)
Runswithlydia,

I was thinking along the lines of Rook in regards with your "past life regression" and Hypnosis, but that may be hard for you to do considering your location as pointed out... If I was you, I would consider automatic writing or using an Ouijia Board or a makeship one as a means of contacting Lydia and perhaps tuning into your higher self and seeing if the way she found you was by accident, or because of a life once shared by the two of you?... I would think through your questions first and proceed when you know Lydia is in your presence... Let your hand relax and let your sub conscious take over, you don't need to be in a group and being by yourself should keep it confined with in the boundaries of your own thoughts from this world and beyond... I believe our sub conscious is our spiritual consciousness and if you can put yourself into this transitional mode of writing, you may be able to transgress under the surface of the relationship and find the answers your looking for.
Runswithlydia (1 stories) (27 posts)
 
5 years ago (2012-09-18)
Rook, great question: "Question for you, do you keep a Dream Journal? (forgive me if that has already been asked) Dreams are generated by our subconscious and may provide some clues is this 'search' of yours."

Actually published a story about it. The link is on the coments from me. Download it, it is all my dreams and horrors. I am working on the next installment.
About Somewhere in Time... LOVED THAT STORY! I guess it is kind of like that, I will have to see it again. Love Jane Seymour!
Runswithlydia (1 stories) (27 posts)
+1
5 years ago (2012-09-18)
Oh, hey, granny! Thanks for the lovely comments. Yes the pull is exquisite, isn't it? I am lucky enough to be in a position to travel to find Lydia. It will land me in the poor house, but you know what? At least will KNOW, and like the saying that 'the mountain was there' I will climb it and be able to see the view.
rookdygin (24 stories) (4323 posts)
 
5 years ago (2012-09-18)
Runswithlydia,

I'm not so sure you can find a person to help with your 'past life regression' where you currently are 'stationed' Hypnosis is the most common way to preform a past life regression. This may be something that has to wait a bit before you get a chance to pursue it.

Question for you, do you keep a Dream Journal? (forgive me if that has already been asked) Dreams are generated by our subconscious and may provide some clues is this 'search' of yours.

Another question, and I mean no offence by asking this, Does this remind anybody else of 'Somewhere in Time' with Christopher Reeve and Jane Seymour? Just curious.

Thanks for sharing this with us.

Respectfully,

Rook
Runswithlydia (1 stories) (27 posts)
 
5 years ago (2012-09-18)
Searchseeker, <sigh> yes this has affected my marriage in more ways than one. My wife, god bless her, is a 'meat and potatoes' type of girl, not really good with the metaphysical thing. I cannot expect her to understand it, but she understands that this is an all-consuming, whole world shattering event, and as such she has stepped back from me, not exactly in horror (although the terror is there just under the surface of her) but perhaps because she can't fight Lydia. It would be different if Lydia was a corporeal woman with me in some sordid affair in a cheap motel downtown. Someone she could FIGHT, but this is something else entirely. But this isn't the case, this is a deep, solid, REAL event, and to deny it's existence is to go back to the time of witch burning. We are adults about this and we are amicable, she is stepping back, standing on the porch and waving me on, because she knows to deny me this, there would always be the question... Was she real? So the wife has become not so much as an accomplice, but a true lover in that she is letting me go, and if I come back from this, survive it whole, perhaps we will be stronger for it. Or I may be lost forever, but there is a steep price for this type of knowledge. Again a great question. I have written the experience as a fictional account because I am afraid to embrace it, but perhaps I should label it non-fiction and roll with it? I don't know, this is new territory and as such, I am playing this by ear as I go. Perhaps with your help I can realize the true nature of the experience and grow from it. Or die with it around my neck. One can't know the pull that is drawing me to her. I am thinking of going to Thailand next month, partly because it's a very spiritual place. Also, I have been to the solid land of her birth; now I need to go to the land of spirits, where spirits live in trees, and the belief is chief among a whole country of believers. Like I said to granny, there is a safety in numbers, and perhaps there are answers in numbers as well. Love the comments, you guys are incredible.
zzsgranny (18 stories) (3312 posts) mod
+1
5 years ago (2012-09-18)
Runswithlydia: See, that's one of my problems: I make statements or ask questions without doing any research first πŸ˜†...I would imagine there are datk haired Scandinavians just as there are blonde Italians, but the only reason I know that is because I went to school with one LOL...

I can totally understand the "pull", and I dare say, you're not alone in that respect either... Many of us on the site are drawn to another country for reasons unknown...I'm drawn to Ireland/Scotland, and will someday venture across the big pond if for no other reason than to find out why...
Runswithlydia (1 stories) (27 posts)
 
5 years ago (2012-09-18)
SnudtoQueast, thanks for the comments. Glad you enjoyed it.
Runswithlydia (1 stories) (27 posts)
 
5 years ago (2012-09-18)
Temilicious, find it, it's there, run to it as fast as you can. Face it head on and you will be rewarded ten fold. I found this site and you wonderful folks because I raced to face this thing. Do it!
Runswithlydia (1 stories) (27 posts)
 
5 years ago (2012-09-18)
Aussiedaz, man, again, great feelings and great comments. I have thought of the past life thing, and I have to admit it hit me like a force ten thunderbolt. Yet, try as I might, I am just not seeing us in any other reality but hers and mine right now. Is there some way I can touch that past life? See it somehow? Thanks for the intriguing thoughts, daz.
Runswithlydia (1 stories) (27 posts)
 
5 years ago (2012-09-18)
zzsgranny, thanks for the comments, and thanks for the solidarity of the fellow crazy people! There is a great safety in numbers. You asked:I'm wondering how you came to the "Scandinavian" connection/conclusion, since her hair is dark?...Do you think she was actually born there of Scandinavian parents, or perhaps had one parent of a different ethnicity?...
Fabulous question and this had plagued me before I went on vacation to Scandinavia this past August. As soon as I stepped onto Norwegian soil, it felt like home. An incredible feeling of 'solidness' is the only way to describe it. The same happened in Gothenborg Sweden as well. You know everyone thinks Scandinavia is all blondes and tow-headed kids running around. But really the opposite is true, there have been many huge migrations of different type of peoples in Scandinavian countries, the differing influences are striking to say the least. Yes, the blondes are there, but then the darker folks are there as well. I feel an especially strong pull to the north to the Laplander areas, if you see the pictures from the turn of the century reindeer/laplander migrations you will see many dark haired, lovely people staring back at you.
Yes, this very thought went through my mind before I hit the enter button for the flight confirmation to Oslo. But I HAD to go, Granny, the pull is total and all-consuming. The choice was to bend to it, or break in half. Again, a great question! I am starved for this type of interaction; the discussion making me think of other ways to hande what I call the 'Lydia Experience'...
n_ishwarya (1 stories) (14 posts)
 
5 years ago (2012-09-18)
what the hell are you speaking my friends name is lydia. I am scaredπŸ˜† ❀ 😨
Runswithlydia (1 stories) (27 posts)
 
5 years ago (2012-09-18)
Javelina, thanks for the comments. You asked: "When this first became known to you, do you recall experiencing any intense deja vu? Sort of a side effect of the experience perhaps?" Oh, Javelina, what a great question! I have thought of this so often: Lydia presents to me as she was in 1925, at around 26 YO so that would put her birth around 1899 or so. There is an intense deja vu, an incredible yearning for all things 1920's. My wall in my room is papered with my research, pictures, prints of the 1920's, etc. I just have to KNOW! I share a tent with 8 other men and our rooms are just framed plywood walls, basically 2 X 3 meters. So yes, I am bombarded by vivid dreams of the 1920's in sweden and I think the USA as well. So how did you deal with the memory saturation? Its driving me absolutely and deliciously mad! Thanks for the great question!
Runswithlydia (1 stories) (27 posts)
+1
5 years ago (2012-09-18)
Fergie, thanks for the lovely comments. There is a kiss that I am looking for from her. Yes I have done some writing for some local english language papers here in Afghanistan, and I am working on another set of stories on my search for Lydia. Fans are always welcome!:-)) As I am a fan of this site!
Runswithlydia (1 stories) (27 posts)
+1
5 years ago (2012-09-18)
I appreciate all the beautiful comments. If you want to see the whole story, please go to smashwords. Heres the link: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/228620

Just enter this coupon code (FB66S) to get 100%, if you want the whole story. I published this little book and mistankenly hit the 1.99 button. Oops! I am an author (and apparently an idiot!) with a published story on smashwords in the premium catalog, soon to be on ibooks. I am currently working on another one, and I am still deployed to western Afghanistan near Herat and the Iranian border.
SearcherSeeker (11 posts)
 
5 years ago (2012-09-17)
Wonderfully written account. I am curious whether this situation has caused a problem in your marriage? You seem to allude to the fact your wife is less than thrilled with this. Also, if given an ultimatum, is this spirit real enough to you that you would leave your wife for her even though she is incorporeal? Sooo curious! Thanks, Kym
SnudtoQueast (2 stories) (20 posts)
 
5 years ago (2012-09-17)
Your written experience is extremely eloquent, and I enjoyed reading it. I love the way you describe your feelings toward her, they seem very sweet and light. Good luck, and I'd enjoy hearing more from you.
Temilicious (7 stories) (77 posts)
+1
5 years ago (2012-09-16)
Your story just made me want to go out and find love.

Thanks for sharing,

I think a lot of people would love to hear the whole story, maybe you can post it here if you don't mind.
aussiedaz (18 stories) (1276 posts)
+2
5 years ago (2012-09-15)
I'm thinking along the lines of soul mate here, she may be lost a little in time but not in spirit, there are some intoxicating energies in the spiritual realm mate and I was once fortunate enough to experience a Soul mate via an OBE entwine that left me humbled emotionally quite an incredible account... So I know the energy and it's power your referring to there mate and if your crazy, so am I btw, I think you were once with her in a past life... Thank you for sharing an interesting story. 😁
zzsgranny (18 stories) (3312 posts) mod
+2
5 years ago (2012-09-15)
Runswithlydia: In the first place, nobody on this site is going to call you crazy πŸ˜†...If you are, then so are the rest of us! LOL...I'm very interested in hearing the "complete" story, too; my e-mail addy is on my profile (just click on my screen name)...

And it's interesting that you mention all those folks thought of as being schizophrenic because they talk to, not themselves, but the "people in their heads"...It's a been a topic of discussion here on the site a few times... The general consensus is that probably more than just a few are, indeed, speaking to spirits...

I'm wondering how you came to the "Scandinavian" connection/conclusion, since her hair is dark?...Do you think she was actually born there of Scandinavian parents, or perhaps had one parent of a different ethnicity?...

So many questions, so little space πŸ˜†...I really enjoyed reading this, and agree with Fergie in that you do have a talent for writing... Thank you for posting, it's been refreshing 😊
Javelina (4 stories) (3749 posts)
 
5 years ago (2012-09-15)
Runswithlydia,
Thank you for sharing this snippet with us. I would like to take you up on the offer to read more. Is there a link you can provide that will take me there? If so, simply post it here and others can read the rest as well.
This is very intriguing for me. I had a small experience many years ago with channeling a spirit. I suppose that would be a good way to describe it. It took me 40 years to figure out what had occurred that day, and for me it is still an amazing feeling to know I had been chosen as a means of conveyance for this spirit. I'll never get over that feeling for as long as I live.
Let me ask you something. When this first became known to you, do you recall experiencing any intense deja vu? Sort of a side effect of the experience perhaps?

Thank you,

Jav
Fergie (36 stories) (1094 posts)
+1
5 years ago (2012-09-15)
Runswithlydia, are you by any chance a journalist too? The way phrase your sentences, smacks of journalism... Or a published author. I am certainly not criticizing your style; it is very refreshing.
IMO your 'story' is unique, but I think that you will find few fans on this site.
I wish you luck, in your quest. Some say, heaven is only one kiss away! πŸ˜‰
Thank you for sharing.

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