Warning: This is probably going to be long, so I apologize in advance. I just want to be as detailed as possible with my encounters with Alex.:) Thanks for reading.
It all started when I was around six. My mother wasn't exactly the closest person to me, so I was constantly wishing I'd have a friend that would be with me no matter what, always there for me.
I was pretty upset when nothing happened. Despite living in a small apartment (and I mean really tiny), I used to get scared while I was sleeping. I'd get a feeling that something was sitting on the branch in front of the window that was right by my bed, watching me. So I would wake up, but I'd never open my eyes. I'd force myself to keep my eyes shut.
The first time I think I really saw Alex was when I was ten. I was at the stable, playing with my favorite horse, Sky, in his paddock. I would spread my arms out, and roar, scaring him a bit, and he'd run. I'd laugh really loudly, just having fun.
But I heard another laughter along with mine. It was unmistakeablely a boy's laugh. That's when I saw Sky pin his ears forward, and look over at the far end of the paddock. (Note: when a horse pins his ears forward, he's interested in something, paying full attention, or happy. When they are pinned flat back against its head, they're not happy at all.) When I followed the direction his head was pointing in, I saw him. He was really far back there, but he was there. It looked like a boy that worked at the stable. Definitely older than me. I couldn't make out any details, but I stared a little more until Sky stirred a bit. He usually didn't like people or other horses in his paddock. But I was an exception merely because I kept giving him peppermints.
I remember seeing him canter over to scare the boy away. But when he got there, he whinnied, and came running back. When I looked over to where the boy was before, there was nothing there. So I brushed it off, thinking it was just my wild imagination, or maybe the stable boys were messing with me.
From then on until I was twelve, I'd never seen him again, but I constantly felt like I was being followed and watched. But it wasn't in a bad way. I felt happier that way. At school, my friends would talk to me, but constantly look past me, or above my head during the conversation. Sure, I found it kind of weird, but I just thought everyone was messing with me. You know, middle school kids being jerks.
But talking to my guy friends was different. Even texting. They'd reply with curt comments of dismissal, and avoid me as much as they could. It really made me angry.
Not to mention when I got into K-pop, anytime I'd get all excited over seeing cute Korean boys, something around me felt kind of angry...
That's when nights got kinda... Weird... When I'd lie down, just before going to bed, it was like I felt something brush against my skin. Then it progressed to feeling like I was being hugged, or cuddled even. And even in my sleep, I could feel my bangs being brushed from my face, and could hear a faint breathing that wasn't mine. And I'm a pretty deep sleeper. Of course it scared the heck out of me, so I demanded my mother sleep with me. I even got my baby blanket out and my favorite teddy bear to try and comfort me.
Even sleeping with my mom didn't work. I'd still feel cold prickles against my skin, and light brushes. One night, while we were looking after a friend's small dog, I woke up in the middle of the night after I felt a quick poke to my sternum. At first, I thought it was the dog, but she was sound asleep, and my closet door was slightly open. When things like this happen, I really get scared. So of course, I freaked, and hid myself under the covers. But throughout the whole night, the dog would cuddle next to my arm, whimpering, and sometimes growling.
When I turned thirteen (a few months ago), things progressed. When I couldn't find things I urgently needed for school (calculator, homework, binder, etc.), they'd suddenly turn up in places I knew I had looked at before. When my mom would forget to wake me up, usually a really cold blast of air would. When someone at school would make fun of me, they'd get all skittish, and leave me alone. Staying up and doing my homework didn't feel as lonely as I remembered it. I'd always feel a warm, soothing presence nearby.
But on the other hand, I'd also get uncomfortable while showering. I literally felt like something was staring at me. So when I'd wash my face, I'd make sure that one eye was always open. Same when removing shampoo and conditioner.
I remember one time before going to the beach, I didn't exactly feel too great in my bathing suit. My friends said I looked fine. And just as I was doubting myself again, I felt that warm cuddling feeling again, and I suddenly stopped caring about what I looked like.
I knew none of this stuff was "normal", or "usual", so I decided to see if I could contact if anything was following me. So I opened up an IM, and IMed myself.
Here was the conversation (I saved it):
Me: (I was very scared/excited when I got a reply) What's your name?
Me: Alex... Have you been following me all along? We're you the one in Sky's paddock?
Alex: Why, why? You don't like?
Me: No that's not it. I'm just slightly scared, that's all.
Alex: Please, don't be scared. I don't like you scared.
Me: Wouldn't you be scared?
Alex: Don't know. Dead now. Don't like me? Why don't you like me?
Me: It's not that I don't like you. Just... Don't do all that horror movie ghost stuff on me, okay? I don't want you randomly slamming doors or popping up out of nowhere, because then I'll get scared, alright? Please?
(After that, I remember a tiny cold feeling on my cheek. I assumed it was a kiss, so I was caught off guard.)
Alex: Okay. Don't like you scared. I won't scare. Only protect.
I couldn't believe I'd actually talked to a ghost. And that had been a pretty long conversation (well, that's what I thought at least). I honestly thought I was crazy, since everyone I ever told about Alex flat out told me I was crazy. But the mere thought of Alex not being real really pissed something (him) off. That's when the last IM from him popped up. He'd typed in all caps: "REAL."
I just about flipped. I ran to my bed, pulled the cover over my head, and kept my eyes shut despite the taps, the cuddles, the "kisses", and the moving of the covers. That night, while I was dreaming, I saw the boy I'd seen when I was messing around with Sky. But he was really close, so I could make out features clearly.
He was pretty tall. Around 6'1 or 6'2 from what I could see. He looked very young though; like a teenager. His skin was slightly pale, with almost a sort of blue tint to it (like someone who was starving for oxygen). His irises were glowing in a fluorescent almost mustard yellow. His hair was a dark crimson color, just barely brushing into his eyes. He looked like the perfect boy. I can compare him to a Korean ulzzang (note: "ulzzang" means best face. These are usually teens known for their "beauty" and ideal image for others. They become popular on the Internet. You can look up "ulzzang" and see what I mean.:D) or a bishie boy in a shoujo manga (note: bishie is short "bishounen" which literally means "beautiful boy" in Japanese... These pop up in shoujo, teen girl, mangas which are cartoons/comics. The "perfect boy".)
The dream flashed through multiple times in my life, Alex always within four feet of me. He wasn't exactly smiling, but he wasn't scowling or showing any anger.
But the last image of him was a picture of him creepily smiling, eyes wide and bloodshot (the exact horror movie crap I didn't want him to pull on me). There was blood all over him, bodies by his feet. I took note that they were the bodies of popular kids at school who made fun of me, and called me filthy names. (Sure, I dislike them a lot. But I DO NOT, BY ANY MEANS want Alex to hurt them. So I got kind of scared and had nightmares for two days after.)
Up until now, I've believed in Alex, but I've always had that small part of my mind telling me I was going nuts. I've learned to kind of deal with walking, knowing he's hovering right behind or beside me. But I've never gotten used to the stares I've always felt when thinking about boys, or talking to my guy friends. I don't want ANYBODY getting hurt.
So, I've told my story to you all because I know you will understand, and not say I'm crazy (at least I hope you won't). So tell me, what do you think? Do you guys think I'm just crazy/paranoid? Please help.
Even now when I sleep, I get sudden bursts of hot air or really cold air to my face, and sometimes I find it really hard to fall asleep.