This is actually an experience that a friend of mine had about five months ago, but he said it was fine for me to post it here, since he knows how much I browse this site.
When my friend--lets call him Rob--and I were in elementary school, he was a bully. He would pick on kids older, younger, and even in our age group. It was sad, really, to know that he was doing it for kicks, but back then, I did not know him, so I did not do much to stop his acting out. (And I was afraid of getting punched.)
There was this one little girl, she was like maybe two years younger than us, and I remember that everyone in our grade (3) thought she was mute because they heard teachers say she never spoke, ever. She was so quiet and always carried around a stuffed bear. I remember this because I thought she was cute; she was like a little toddler in a way. This poor girl was Rob's favorite target. Once, he shoved her lunch in her face and got the jelly all over her bear. Of course she cried, and Rob just slunk off to play outside while I just kind of ignored it. (I know, I'm a horrible human being.)
Well, Rob decided to grow up when he got in high school. He tried out for sports, went to camps, and we even became friends when he stopped some senior in HS from beating me up for failing his math test. The jerk had copied off me and just to spite him I put all the wrong answers. Ha. Anyway, just recently, we moved into a dorm and our bunkmate is a riot; we get along so well that it's scary!
Well, a few months after getting into the dorms, Rob started having weird dreams of being back in elementary school. I thought it was funny, but he seemed really freaked out by some of them. Finally, when our dorm was empty besides the two of us, I asked him to tell me what it was about. He said this: "I'm running towards this kid, but I don't know why, and she is crying. I want to help, but instead, I make her cry more. Messed up, right?" Actually, no. I told him later about how he used to bully that girl all the time. What seemed to freak him out the most was when I mentioned the stuffed bear. That got him a little nervous.
Soon, it was break-from-school time, and Rob was off playing basketball while I was on the bleachers acting as his little "fan base." When Rob walked over after he was let off the court, he looked towards the back door and SPLASH! His drink went all over me, the floor, and himself. I had been using my phone so I jumped up and asked him, politely, "What the heck was that for?" Rob shook his head and pointed to the doors. Nothing there.
"I swear I saw her--that girl with the teddy bear was looking at me." I knew it was impossible because she would be all grown up now, or at least in high school, but Rob was pretty convinced he saw her. All that week, he said he saw that same girl in the oddest places: the hallway stairs, the food court by the drink machine, the soccer field stands, and in a tree in the quad.
Then it got a little weird. Our dorm mate woke up in the middle of the night to pace around the room--as he often does--and he said that he heard a knock at the door. When he looked out no one was there, but he heard a little girl ask, "Can you tell him I'm sorry if I was bad?" For some reason he just nodded his head and went to sleep again. Not even thinking about how it was against the rules for kids, especially girls, to be on that side of the building.
In the morning, he told us what happened and we were floored; had the little girl thought she did something wrong? If so, what? Now Rob feels like a jerk, I am confused, and our dorm mate just kind of rolls with it. What do we do now? Rob still sees her, but now he says that she runs away when he looks at her.
Advice please?
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I think he should realise the greif and negative feelings. He caused that girl by picking on her. If he is inly feeling like a jerk because she asked if she did something wrong... He should feel like a jerk for what he did to her, not because she asked that question.