About a year ago my boyfriend and I lived in a trailer with our then 18 month old daughter, I was pregnant with our second. During our stay there we became dark angry people.
It started when we were just moved in, I would hear loud footsteps down the hall and he would convince me it was just the house settling in. I brushed it off, but after a while I couldn't stand to go into my room, my stomach would hurt just walking towards it.
One night while laying in my bed I heard a yell. That's it, just a yell in my face and I sat up instantly. Later we had a friend stay with us. We left to go to the store and our friend stayed at our house waiting for a ride and when we got home he was shaken up, said he had been sleeping and heard a yell in his face. I had never told him about when it had happened to me.
For the next few weeks our oldest daughter would wake up screaming and crying in terror, literally scratching her door to get out. When we would go get her she would cling to us and refuse to go back to sleep.
It settled for a bit the week I was to give birth. My mom watched our oldest the night of my c-section. We had a friend house sit. He came to the hospital the next day, saying he didn't want to house sit anymore, that someone had yelled in his face and was stomping down the halls. My other friend and I hadn't told him about our experiences either.
Then our dog started to lose it, bit me and my oldest daughter over nothing, always barking with hair on end, but regardless I refused to let her go. My boyfriend left for work at 4:00 am and I needed her in bed with me when he left. I wouldn't sleep after he left, I would just sit up with all the lights on, waiting for the babies to get up.
Things continued to progress, the baby would cry all day until she went to sleep at night and my boyfriend and I were always screaming at each other, all day over nothing. Angry for no reason, we just hated each other.
In our living room we had a massive bay window with no curtains on it. I felt safer sleeping in the living room with no curtains where anyone could look in at anytime than I did going to my own room. We had many people tell us our house gave them the creeps.
Since all of this we have left that trailer. Things got better, the kids sleep through the night without crying, my boyfriend and I no longer have explosive fights. But sometimes there is still an eerie feeling that I can't shake, like I'm being watched. Even though my boyfriend now works a 9-5 job I still don't sleep well. I stay awake for hours watching the doorway of my room. I get up when he does so I don't have to be alone. Sometimes I still get twisting feelings in my stomach. Everyone else if fine.
I don't know if I'm still shaken up or if there is something following he or I and it only effects me. All I know is that I just want it to stop.
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