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I Think I've Been Haunted My Whole Life, I'm Serious

 

It all came together last night. When I was 6 I was so mean and evil, my mom says it's because my father left us. I literally tried to kill my older brother. (OK not "kill" but seriously hurt him.)

One day I was having a really bad temper tantrum. My mom went and got the holy oil and put a cross on my for head. Something came out of me. As I was screaming, a male voice came out. You don't hear that from a little girl.

I am now 13 and 3/4 and I suffer from major depressive disorder, bi-polar disorder, social anxiety disorder, PTSD, and I used to have insomnia but not anymore.

In the 6th grade, where the depression started (from being bullied and family stuff), my principal said to my mom that she felt like a dark spirit was hovering over me... Like it wanted to take my life.

I started reading into this today and it was a website giving physical signs about a dark entity haunting you. The signs I've experienced: uneasy feelings, nightmares of self harm, like it's trying to make you do something bad (I only have these dreams when I'm feeling most confident of myself). And I remember my aunt saying she saw something crawling up the hallway when she visited, this was a few years ago but...still.

I feel like this "thing" has been feeding off of my negative energy and boy do I have a lot... Suicidal thoughts/attempts, self harm, all my disorders. Yet it hasn't made any physical contact or signs. Nothing moving, no scratching on the walls... I mean there has been a few incidents here and there like the radio mysteriously turning all the way up or random knocks but I feel like those can be explained... Malfunctions or imagination.

I've never felt anything touch me EVER So I don't think this thing is very harmful but it's still...dark. And I'm not the type to get scared, I only have this uneasy feeling at certain times. And lately my dog has been barking at air. I think because this entity knows that I know of its presence and it's getting closer.

Maybe all this is in my head? I do tend to over analyze things but... Can I get somebody's feedback on this?

Side note: Many people in my family have experienced the "unexplained". My younger sister used to have night terrors, her father sees "ghosts" all the time, my aunt has seen her mother in 2 places (meaning the one she thought was standing in her bedroom was actually sleeping), my grandma supposedly saw god when she technically died but her heart started again. And a bunch of other things have happened, you see, none of these entities are what you'd call life threatening (besides mine wanting me to kill over dead) they just stand and watch.

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The following comments are submitted by users of this site and are not official positions by yourghoststories.com. Please read our guidelines and the previous posts before posting. The author, AnnaWillBringYouTheHorizon, has the following expectation about your feedback: I will participate in the discussion and I need help with what I have experienced.

rookdygin (24 stories) (4318 posts)
 
2 years ago (2015-05-07)
Razer,

I was once a teenager and I remember what it feels like 'be 'older' than my physical age, all based on MY experiences (please see my profile).

The medical and mental facts the O/P themselves admits to can make them feel as if they are expetiencing something paranormal... When actually they are not and until ALL 'conditional effects, med effects and side effects... Indeed ALL NATURAL causes must be ruled out.

Top this off with a possible spirit or entity that may be trying to take advantage of the individuals 'weakened state' it makes it that much harder to determine that the paranormal may be involved UNLESS we rule out all the natural, medical, mental and medicinal BEFORE the paranoramal can be considered much less dealt with.

Heres hoping your experiences are published soon. But let's keep these comments directed to the O/P and their situation.

Respectfully,

Rook
ms_st0308 (6 stories) (59 posts)
+2
2 years ago (2015-05-07)
I am going to throw my two cents in. I have worked in the mental health field for seven years; and yes, like many others here have commented, these diagnoses can cause many feelings and changes in perception. Any medications you may be on can also cause side effects or effect the way you feel and experience things. For example, you mentioned bipolar disorder and major depressive disorder. Many times, those suffering with bipolar disorder experience extreme highs and extreme lows. During the highs, the person feels on top of the world and feels like they can do anything and have no limits. When they experience the lows, they feel like they have reached the absolute bottom and can feel completely worthless. This, along with the depression, can cause all kinds of other symptoms: not wanting to get out of bed, not enjoying hobbies or things that someone usually loves, lashing out at others, irritability... And, you also mentioned social anxiety. Anxiety alone can also cause irritability, disinterest, not wanting to be around others. The social aspect of this will elevate the desire to be alone and not be around others.

I'm not saying that what you are experiencing is not paranormal in any way, but I do have to agree with several others who have commented that these physical things need to be addressed first. I could go into how medications can affect you, but that would be an even longer comment. I, too, am concerned about the dreams you are having that are encouraging you to self-harm or hurt yourself in any way. This is very serious, and I would recommend that you find someone you trust and let them know you are experiencing those thoughts and feelings.
RazersharpShadow191 (1 stories) (13 posts)
 
2 years ago (2015-05-07)
I tried to submit my stories but have yet to see them. I understand what you are saying but that is my view point. I might be a teenager but I have seen plenty of things to make me seem older than I actually am. You would be surprised at how my life turned out to be.
BadJuuJuu (13 stories) (1034 posts)
+2
2 years ago (2015-05-07)
Razor, this particular story sounds like it has very plausible scientific/medical possibilities to explain it. The "People need to stop trying to explain things with science" attitude does more harm than good to the paranormal community in general, but can be downright dangerous to individuals who may be suffering from a perfectly treatable condition. If you simply want to spread fear, find some other site to do it on. Here, we try to take all possibilities into account, including rational ones.
RazersharpShadow191 (1 stories) (13 posts)
-2
2 years ago (2015-05-07)
Rookdygin, I see what you are saying but I have experienced something similar to this. So I can trust that what she says is true. People need to stop trying to explain things with science. 😐 😐
Hecate0 (4 stories) (418 posts)
 
2 years ago (2015-05-06)
AnnaWill... I concur with many comments here. And I hope you have a single person, an advocate for you who is coordinating your care. All of the diagnoses you list would lead to many medications. Your experiences could come from many sources, including the paranormal. It is just too difficult to tell with what you have given us in your story. I hope you have protection, both physically and spiritually. Ask for protection, for yourself and your family. Always do that. Visualize a light of love around you. I wish you the best. I hope you have support.
karthik248938 (5 posts)
-2
2 years ago (2015-05-06)
The first step is to acknowledge the fact that there is a big bad wolf inside all of us. It can be controlled only when you know precisely what its wants are. Therefore, you will have to address it first...
Do this under the supervision of a like minded adult. In an empty room with only one source of light, preferably a candle. Lie down nearby the flame or sit and meditate next to it and flush out all unwanted thoughts. The key is to relax and let go, let the other side come closer and make contact.
If it works, you will be able to clearly state the nature and the want of the entity. The supervisor will be able to identify any behavioural changes in you and physical changes occurring in the room during the time.
Preferably during a moonless night. Do Not ever do this alone.
Never stop believing in yourself and Never loose control.
rookdygin (24 stories) (4318 posts)
+3
2 years ago (2015-05-06)
(Climbs on soap box)

RazorSharpShadow191,

Your advice 'COULD' apply if the evidence provided by the O/P actually mentioned a 'Talking Board' of some type. But ignoring all of the evidence provided by the O/P and jumping to the 'something wants you' band wagon undermines so many possible non-paranormal things that the O/P may be experiencing effecting her.

We must consider the INFORMATION provided by the O/P and if nesasary ask for supporting details. If the paranormal band wagon is jumped on right off the bat, without considering anything else that may be causeing these issues, we do an injustice to the O/P and those who believe in and investigate the paranormal.

In a field that has many theories and very little hard FACTS we must be our own worse skeptics so that we can provide the best evidence and AID to others.

Just saying... 😉

(Climbs off soap box)

We now return you to your regularly scheduled comments...

Respectfully,

Rook
RazersharpShadow191 (1 stories) (13 posts)
-4
2 years ago (2015-05-06)
Depending have you ever dealt with an Ouija board before? If you have not then something wants you. I suggest you go to church and wear a cross. If you can get the cross blessed and keep a bible close to your bead.
LBReyes (2 stories) (4 posts)
+1
2 years ago (2015-05-05)
I would definitly concur with the previous comment, and would like to follow up with that you truly need to be under the care of a good psychiatrist for medication effects and treatments you have been diagnosed with some serious issues that need constant care. I wish you the best, and it worries me when you say that you hear voices to harm your self and others, I hope you have a good support system in place, if not get someone you trust to talk to about everything going on. Be strong
valkricry (39 stories) (2730 posts) mod
+5
2 years ago (2015-05-05)
Anna,
I'm going to take everything you said at face value, even though I have many of the same questions as Rook. Bare in mind, the questions are only asked to help us gain more understanding, and be better able to offer advise. It has nothing to do with believing you or not. Having said that, I'm going to be rather blunt, are you under a doctor's care and in therapy? The medical/mental issues you mention are a heavy burden to carry, but with the proper help they do become manageable.
Your dog barking at air - well, dog's have keener eyes and an acute sense of hearing, yours could be reacting to something quite mundane that you just don't detect. Heck a neighbor could even have a dog whistle for THEIR dog and yours is reacting to it.

You say you have this 'uneasy feeling at certain times', so there's a pattern?
The best way to battle a 'dark entity' or feeling is to fill yourself with light. I know that sounds cliche, but it's true. Many sufferers of being bi-polar feel 'unworthy' of being happy when in the grips of the depression that comes with it. When you're that far down, it's real hard to even see up. It sometimes helps to have physical reminders of better times. Try keeping a 'feel good' journal/scrapbook. It doesn't need to be fancy, even a spiral notebook will do. Every day try to put one positive thing in it. It doesn't matter what, as long as it made you feel good. Acing a quiz in school, some boy smiled at you. Watching your favorite show, a ticket stub from the movies, your fav song lyrics, a picture you really liked. You get the idea. Anything that's positive can go in there - even an excellent dream you had, or a truly bad joke that made you giggle. Dedicate one page (or even more if you can) to listing things you like about you. Sometimes you've got to be your own cheerleader, and it's totally ok. And on those days you simply can't see up, when it feels like you've hit bottom, or you just need a pick me up, look at through it. Savor it, and recall those happy moments. You'll be surprised how much that can help to chase off anything trying to feed off your negativity.
rookdygin (24 stories) (4318 posts)
+9
2 years ago (2015-05-05)
Ah...Ummm Hummm... (grinding of teeth)

There are some questions I would like to ask... And I do not mean to offend the O/P or anyone by asking them... With that said here it goes (questions placed with quotes from the O/P)

Anna you start by saying this..."When I was 6 I was so mean and evil, my mom says it's because my father left us. I literally tried to kill my older brother. (OK not "kill" but seriously hurt him.) "

Who told you you were 'mean and evil'? During bad break up's young children who do not understand what is happening MAY strike out... Not because they are 'mean and evil' but because they do not understand and are frustrated.

"One day I was having a really bad temper tantrum. My mom went and got the holy oil and put a cross on my for head. Something came out of me."

Who described the voice as being 'male'? Could you, during your tantrum, have cried and screamed your voice raw? So it sounded deeper and more masculine? Your Mom sounds pretty Religious... Is that safe to say, I ask becasue even this can infulence things with in the home.

"I am now 13 and 3/4 and I suffer from major depressive disorder, bi-polar disorder, social anxiety disorder, PTSD, and I used to have insomnia but not anymore.

"In the 6th grade, where the depression started (from being bullied and family stuff), my principal said to my mom that she felt like a dark spirit was hovering over me... Like it wanted to take my life."

What school did you attend that a Priciple would say something like that? Is it admisistered by a Church?

"I started reading into this today and it was a website giving physical signs about a dark entity haunting you. The signs I've experienced: uneasy feelings, nightmares of self harm, like it's trying to make you do something bad (I only have these dreams when I'm feeling most confident of myself)."

Sorry to say but most of these feelings and emotions are linked to 'major depressive disorder, bi-polar disorder, social anxiety disorder, PTSD' the question here is have you been told this by a Doctor or is this Family or Self Dignosis (sp?)? I am not saying a 'spirit or entity' can not cause someone to feel this way but the Natural, Normal, Medical and Mental have to be ruled out first. Also what meds (if any?) are you taking for these disorders? Each can have different side effects and may interact with the others as well.

"I mean there has been a few incidents here and there like the radio mysteriously turning all the way up or random knocks but I feel like those can be explained... Malfunctions or imagination."

Now here you have said something interesting... As well as when you described what you Aunt say 'crawling' up the wall. With the possible medical and mental issues you mentioned as well as your age the 'thing' you 'feel' might just be a Poltergiest... But in this case not a spirit or entity but actual telikenitic outbursts from you.

Again I am not trying to discredit you, nor your experiences but you have mentioned many things that have to be sorted through BEFORE the paranormal can be considered...

Thank you for sharing... I hope our advice can help.

Respectfully,

Rook

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