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Visiting Relatives

 

The past couple of weeks I felt one spirit, which I quickly identified as my father in-law. One day my mother in-law came over in a tizzy because she got one of her renewed credit card with a rather self-explanatory letter about a "chip" being in it. I tried to explain to her the chip is for places that you just tap the credit card on the reader. As usual she had to ask her son about it and he told her the same thing.

As she was about to leave she went to put it in her pocket but couldn't feel the card. The search was on and I just told everyone to just sit down and relax a minute. Then I said, "Dad, put it back." My husband went to get something to drink and found it on the kitchen floor where they had already checked.

My husband told her things like that happens all the time around here. Then I felt that he stuck around. I would be on my tablet and it would go off or to another page or to the menu page. It frustrated me to no end. He didn't leave and was annoyed with me so he annoyed me.

Then I felt a second spirit that I could tell was annoyed with me which I quickly identified as my grandfather he was a great dog lover. My youngest dog Jethro was diagnosed with a cancerous tumor on his liver and a small tumor on the neck of his spleen. His stomach started to bloat about a month ago, which I knew was the beginning of the end. He would bolt out of the door to go bark at the neighbors' dog and they would run along the fence until they started just barking and growling and I would make him come in. Once inside he would get a drink and flop in his bed.

My husband was in denial, saying he looked fine and was eating good so leave him alone. Meanwhile I could feel his father and my grandfather getting more annoyed with me. I told them to be annoyed with my husband.

Saturday morning was a turning point. My husband saw the bloating and a lump and when he went over and touched Jethro's stomach, Jethro growled at him it was a low growl but a growl nonetheless. So we discussed having him put down and I made the appointment for that day. We woke up our daughter and youngest son so they could say goodbye. My oldest son was already up getting ready for work.

I crouched down to pet our oldest dog and he just put his head in my chest and rubbed his head up and down on my chest. The other dogs were restless and knew Jethro wasn't coming home even though he was only 6 1/2.

I wouldn't let my husband come in the room with me because he went through it once and was a wreck. They took Jethro in the back room to put a catheter in his leg. Then they called me into an exam room. He wanted out in the worst way thinking they were going to poke him more. The vet came in with two techs and they administered the drugs to put him to sleep as I was holding his head kissing him and telling him I loved him. Then he was gone.

The whole time I was in the room it felt over crowded even before the vet and techs came in so I know my grandfather and father in-law was in there with me. After the vet checked for a heartbeat, she left me in the room and told me to take my time to say goodbye. I balled like a baby for a good twenty minutes when the vet came in with a blanket for my knees. By this time the room felt empty. My father in-law had left and after Jethro was gone my grandfather left.

I told her I should leave because my husband was in the waiting room. She sat on the other side of Jethro and started stroking him saying what a good dog he was and I could hear her voice starting to break. I thanked her for doing this for me and she gave me a hug and said she wished she didn't have to but I made the right decision because he was so sick.

When we got home our oldest dog let out a loud cry. He was laying down awhile later and when I went to pet him he didn't raise his head or wag his tail so I left him alone. The other two were similarly depressed.

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The following comments are submitted by users of this site and are not official positions by yourghoststories.com. Please read our guidelines and the previous posts before posting. The author, RedWolf, has the following expectation about your feedback: I will read the comments and participate in the discussion.

RedWolf (28 stories) (1257 posts)
+1
2 years ago (2015-07-26)
Tweed
Thank you for recommending to keep gardening. It is very therapeutic. I forget my worries while weediing and tending to my vegetables. Unfortunately my front flower gardens have suffered from my neglect although anyone can water a garden it hasn't been done.
You are also correct that I might find out what my father in-law wants. Meditation won't work as I fall asleep everytime I try it so gardening is my way to meditate but I fell asleep in the garden once. How do you fall asleep gardening? 😆
Thank you for all your advice.
RedWolf (28 stories) (1257 posts)
+1
2 years ago (2015-07-26)
Fergie,
I'm sorry I haven't responded earlier. I gave myself a couple of days away from my tablet.
I love your idea of smoking times and non smoking times. I had not thought about that. A friend had told me if you want to stop doing something if you are right handed do it left handed. I had to remind her the only thing I can't do left handed is write. 😆
Bless you
Red
Tweed (22 stories) (2040 posts)
+4
2 years ago (2015-07-23)
Oh Red, never give up on gardening. I've never heard of anyone who hasn't recommended gardening/nature activities as a highly therapeutic means of recovery. I've only ever heard of people recommending garden time. In fact a lot of rehabilitation clinics for all kinds of ailments have garden time as part of their therapy. So keep doing what you're doing on that front.😊

Fergie has touched on some great points. I'll also tip my hat to 'smoking time' as opposed to 'stress smoking' as a great way to cut down. I have a very European approach to smoking in that I don't associate it with any guilt nor see it as a 'sin'. It's not healthy but neither is Mcdonnalds or chocolate.
I never liked sweet food and haven't had any cane sugar or corn syrup in nearly 10 years. All because I don't like the taste. As a result I now have no physical tolerance to cane sugar and need to read the ingredients of absolutely everything. Because if I accidentally eat cane sugar I 'chuck a whitey'. Which is exactly the same physical response as a drug overdose/bad drug trip. Yet society accepts the intake of cane sugar as a moderately enjoyed treat. So you can see how hypocritical our Western attitudes are around 'unhealthy choices'. We Westerners vilify one while accepting another. When in reality they're both unhealthy. Moderation is key at all times, whether quitting or not, attitude is everything. The French have known this for centuries.

Hey, maybe while you're out in the garden, as your mind starts to wander, you could figure what your Father in-law wants to say. 😉
Fergie (37 stories) (1116 posts)
+2
2 years ago (2015-07-23)
Red, forgive me for taking time to reply to you. I am playing nurse, as hubby is ill in bed. BTW, your hubby is Ray too, what a coincidence.

Sorry, this is going to be off topic too.
Never in all my years have I heard of surgical screws coming loose due to smoking. I think that doctor is bull-dusting you. Giving up smoking is one of the most difficult things to do, especially if one is in pain. Non smokers will never understand this, I am sure. I have been smoking for +-56 years now.
I did give up smoking once, back in the 70's, but only for a few months, unfortunately. I will tell you how I did it. Back in those days, cigarets came in packs of 30s. On the inside of the lid I wrote, "Go on SUCKER, take one!" This stupid message to myself helped strengthen my resolve to quit. I was *smoke free* until my father-in-law passed away suddenly. One of the family offered me a cigaret and unthinkingly, in my state of shock, I took one. Much to my regret, that was the end of my non-smoking.
Putting pressure on a person to quit doesn't usually help. The resolve must come from within yourself. Try cutting down first; give yourself *smoking time* and *non-smoking* times, see if it works. Also, don't stress about things that you have no control over ~ they will happen, or not, anyway.

I wish you the best with quitting. ❤
RedWolf (28 stories) (1257 posts)
 
2 years ago (2015-07-22)
Tweed
I want to thank you for your advice. You're right I should go easy on myself. When my daughter gets under my skin I should lock myself in my room and relax. My husband isn't keen on my smoking in there but when I'm not in there long or if I'm sick or had surgery he doesn't mind it. He smokes cigars once in awhile but not in the bedroom smoke a lot less while in my bedroom or when I'm gardening. Yes I know I shouldn't garden but while I'm in the garden I let my mind wander and I relax. Although I get stiff and sore I never push myself I take my time and take a lot of breaks. So where I didn't plant the weeds are getting pretty high and other weeds are just ahead of me. Thanks for the advice it made me think a lot about how to handle my stress. I just have to figure out a way to keep the peace between my daughter and sons. Now look who's off topic and on my own story.
😆 😆
Respectfully
Red ❤
RedWolf (28 stories) (1257 posts)
-1
2 years ago (2015-07-22)
Miracles
I certainly agree with that. There was a story that I won't mention had so many comments I thought they would never end. The author who I also won't mention out of respect for this site was certainly sewing with that thread. 😆. Now she has another story on here but said she is running out of stories. 🤔.
Regards
Red
Miracles51031 (36 stories) (4802 posts) mod
 
2 years ago (2015-07-22)
RedWolf - there's drama and then there's DRAMA! Sometimes the line is very hard to see, but there is one LOL When arguing, badmouthing, childish actions occur that's the drama I can't tolerate.
RedWolf (28 stories) (1257 posts)
 
2 years ago (2015-07-22)
Tweed
On the off subject comment. I don't mind it at all. Although 4 doctors have told me it's not true that smoking made the screws out. The reason for needing to quit 3 months before he will operate is smoking impedes healing allthe doctors agree with that. My major problem with not being able to quit is my 29 year old unemployed daughter. Everytime she is cleared to work "something" happens to her that she can't get a job. The only thing that is forgivable is she had to have surgery in December because she had a ruptured ulcer. But otherwise she just gives me hell. I won't go into details because I don't want to cause any drama.
Hecate0 (4 stories) (418 posts)
+1
2 years ago (2015-07-22)
Red, how cool that Jethro continues to find ways to return and comfort you during this time. And those of us who have lost our "pets who are family", we know this grieving takes time. Take good care.

Hecate

P.S. Have you thought of a memorial service/send off? Perhaps your family needs that.
valkricry (39 stories) (2771 posts) mod
 
2 years ago (2015-07-22)
Miracles, I love that your vet also did this for you. Fortunately, I haven't had to involve a vet with pet loss since 2000. That was our dog of 17 years, and no such remembrance was given. About 6 years ago, I did loose my cat, Simba. He passed here at home, suddenly no warning. For a cat he was fairly old, 16 years or so.
I buried him in the back yard, and placed a stone over him. Talk about folks not 'getting it', I had to borrow a shovel from a neighbor, who suggested just wrapping him up and putting him in the TRASH! 😐
Tweed (22 stories) (2040 posts)
+1
2 years ago (2015-07-22)
Oh Red, I just want to *HUG* you!

Thanks for the lovely update and what a beautiful thing the vets did for you guys! That is just so thoughtful. As is the lovely star gift you received from your friend.
Unfortunately not everyone understands a pet is just as valuable as a person. I know a few people who don't *get it*. But a lot of people do get it and it sounds like you're surrounded with them. Which is so good to know.😊

On an off topic note, I thought quitting for correcting your back problem was a bit off. Further proof that second opinions matter. At the risk of giving some totally inappropriate 'advice', I will instead *suggest* that the mere pressure of needing to quit plus EVERYTHING you're dealing with right now probably isn't the best thing to stress over. Jeesh, sometimes when people are down the world just keeps kicking! So at the risk of being totally inappropriate I will suggest go easy on yourself. Because if there's less pressure to quit, I *think* it might just lead to you smoking far less. 😉

On a lighter note I love your paw print and star!
Miracles51031 (36 stories) (4802 posts) mod
+1
2 years ago (2015-07-22)
val - one of my dogs got hit almost a year ago. He died at the vet's office. They made an impression of one of his paws and included with that was the Rainbow Bridge poem. My son has them in his room ❤
valkricry (39 stories) (2771 posts) mod
 
2 years ago (2015-07-22)
I'm not sure all vets do that, Red. But how kind of yours to think of doing so.
RedWolf (28 stories) (1257 posts)
+2
2 years ago (2015-07-22)
Tissue warning,
My husband had to go to the vet to pick up eye drops for one of our dogs. They gave him a box. I had been at my friends house all day. When I got home I asked what was in the box. My husband told me to open it. Inside was a leather covered box and when I opened it on one side was a poem called Rainbow Bridge Poem on the other side of the box was paw print of one of Jethros paws. I didn't know they did this now and wasn't expecting it. All I could say before I started crying was Ray (my husband) and he said what and my daughter had to look and she said dad it's Jethros paw print. I showed it to him and he couldn't speak because he was choking back tears then I showed it to my youngest son and he could barely look at it because he was already trying to hold back tears. Now we have a forever memory of Jethro.
Red
RedWolf (28 stories) (1257 posts)
+1
2 years ago (2015-07-22)
Fergie,
I'm sorry about not getting back to you sooner but my tablet was ticking me off, could be my father in-law. I agree that he probably wants me to give her a nudge but he may also be around because I've known for a year that I need a fourth back surgery and have to quit smoking for three months before he will do it. I have screws frommy last surgery coming out. The surgeon who did the first three won't correct it and says that my smoking is why the screws came loose in the first place. He's told me to stop smoking for my health but never mentioned the screws. In fact 4 doctors have told me smoking is NOT the reason for them coming loose. I want to quit, I really don't enjoy it anymore but my daughter would make a doctor start smoking. She's giving me all sorts of hell. Ah well I am going to shoot for a Monday really soon to quit. I'm petrified of more surgery too because I need a third neck surgery to take out two broken titanium screws they've been like that for years but the surgeon never felt they should be taken out. The funny thing is this is the same surgeon who did my lower back. 😆
Regards
Red
Fergie (37 stories) (1116 posts)
+1
2 years ago (2015-07-20)
Red,
We know we did the "right" thing in the end, though I think we both needed that extra nudge to make up our minds. The future, for us, was just too painful to contemplate. 😭

Lol, I know, old folks can be extremely difficult at times. I am talking from experience, 😆 both my husband and I are in our 70s.
I wish you the best of luck with your mother-in-law. Maybe she needs a nudge from her late husband? 😉
RedWolf (28 stories) (1257 posts)
+1
2 years ago (2015-07-20)
Fergie,
Yes I know you empathize with me, and know how hard it is to do the
"right" thing for our beloved pets. It just doesn't make it easier as you know. But with my Y.G.S. Friends and my best friend it makes it a little"easier". It's been just over a week and sometimes I selfishly wish he was still here. But I know I know I did the right thing. Ia know he is with my grandfather. My fahter in-law is still around pushing me to do something with my mother in-law. She has a pace maker and a stent but she is stobborn and lies to me about going to see her
Cariologist or any other doctors. She won't listen to me even though she complains about not being able to walk far and huffs and puffs
RedWolf (28 stories) (1257 posts)
 
2 years ago (2015-07-20)
Val
I agree with you my dogs are my children. When they get sick I hurt. Ilived with that pain for 3 months. My husband was in a state of denial especially the last month of Jethros life. But he came around that day because he was off and admitted it was time. We woke up our adult children to say goodbye to him. A lot of crying giing all around. I called my mother in-law afterwards and she took it really hard.
Regards
Red
Fergie (37 stories) (1116 posts)
+2
2 years ago (2015-07-20)
Aah Red,
I told you I would be around when your turn came. 😐
You just know I empathize with you, don't you? You and I know just how difficult it is to make the 'right' decision as far as our beloved dogs go.

How wonderful, you had relatives to support you and be ready to escort Jethro to the other side. Jethro was truly honoured for his faithful, if short, life.

Be strong, dear one. Take your time to grieve: the dreadful pain in your heart will ease with time.

Much ❤ from a fellow pet lover,
Fergie
valkricry (39 stories) (2771 posts) mod
+1
2 years ago (2015-07-19)
Red, what a sweet present your friend got you.
I think when pets have been together awhile they form bonds. And, of course a true pet transcends the term 'animal', they become part of the family. When we loose one, it is indeed a time of mourning. You did the right thing though. That is the hardest part of all, loving them enough to let them go.
RedWolf (28 stories) (1257 posts)
+3
2 years ago (2015-07-19)
Okay tissue warning.
Yesterday I got a package in the mail. I had not ordered anything so I was a bit puzzled. I opened it and inside was the best gift I ever got. My best friend payed for a star to be named after Jethro. There was a ribbon wrapped around te box that said. Our Angel~Jethro~Shine Bright. I cried happy tears for the first time in very long time.
Regards
Red
RedWolf (28 stories) (1257 posts)
+1
2 years ago (2015-07-19)
lady-glow
I am so happy that you read this story. Not because I went on kya's thread that was sooo far off the O.P.s story and I b*tched about nobody reading other stories an at the time I only had 4 comments. I wasn't trying to be a baby about it but rather I was a little annoyed that very few other stories were read by many members.
Thank you and god bless.
Red
lady-glow (8 stories) (1621 posts)
+1
2 years ago (2015-07-18)
RedWolf: it was my pleasure to read your story.
Every Monday morning I like to check if there are any new stories posted, if I have time I'd read all of them but when I'm busy I only read the short ones, or I choose them according to the impression I get from previous comments to them... Unfortunately we got an overload of comments to just one story and my method of selection got screwed up. 😐

But it seems that things are going back to normal and now I only need to catch up in the reading.

Glad to know I'm not the only lady in her 50's struggling to understand the cyber-world...and winning the battle.😉
RedWolf (28 stories) (1257 posts)
 
2 years ago (2015-07-18)
lady-glow
Thank you for reading my story. I'm sorry that I forgot the tissue warning. I know Jethro is in good hands, after all he's been through with the epilepsy and ear infections and then the cancer I know he is pain free and a healthy dog now I know that sounds silly since he's dead but he is in heaven.
I hope that I didn't guilt you into reading my story. But I had to bring attention to the fact that kya's thread was keeping people from reading other stories not just mine. By the way I think she was just stringing the thread along (pun intended) because in this tech savvy world who can't set up a G-mail account? I think I'm the oldest or close to it on this site at 54 and have figured out how to do a lot of things on the computer even though they hate me.
Thank you again for reading my story.
Blessings to you
Red
lady-glow (8 stories) (1621 posts)
+1
2 years ago (2015-07-18)
Oh, Red! This is such a bittersweet story. I agree with the previous posters... You forgot the tissue warning.
I'm sure Jethro is happy and safe with your grandfather and father-in-law.

Thanks for sharing.
RedWolf (28 stories) (1257 posts)
 
2 years ago (2015-07-17)
Hecate,Rook,&Tweed
I made a big oops when I was talking about Zim. His right leg was operated and repared as I said. I re-read that comment and realized I said he was holding up his right leg when he was 8 or 9. That should have read LEFT leg. Sorry about that.
Regard
Red
RedWolf (28 stories) (1257 posts)
 
2 years ago (2015-07-17)
On the story Visiting Relatives I would like to know whichever moderator posted the story felt about the story. Not trying to be needy, and pull no punches. I'm just curious because no mod commented and they usually do. You don't have to answer if you don't want to, as I said I'm just curious
Regards
Red
RedWolf (28 stories) (1257 posts)
 
2 years ago (2015-07-16)
Angel87,
Thank you for the kind post. You didn't give me a tissue warning though. I sat there crying when I read about poor Pirate. Jethro lived with epilepsy for almost his whole life and because he was a Coon Hound (a cousin of the Blood Hound) he had long ears and got a lot of nasty ear infections. They did a culture about six months ago and found 2 strains of bacteria that are antibiotic resistant so I had to keep them as. Clean as possible.
Regards
Red
Angel87 (2 stories) (12 posts)
+2
2 years ago (2015-07-16)
[at] RedWolf

Must have been tough, the good thing that he did not go alone your relatives came for him, that's cool.

But I know what you feel, I remember that when I was 6 or 7 years me and my father had 2 pets a cat and a dog, we got them when they where cubs so they got along just fine and played around with each other.

But one day, when they where like 5 moths older, our cat which we called missy, came through the window of our bedroom and started to meawo very insistently, and she went from the bed to our door and scratched it, then we opened the door and missy went to the entrance of the house and again meawoed and scratched the door.

Then we followed the cat to the hallway on the side of the house, where we kept the dog named pirate, and we followed her and saw that pirate was half conscious, and the cat looked at us and back at pirate and she went over and licked his face and trying to keep him awake and looking at us like "HELP HIM PLEASE".

We took him to the vet and had to be put down, to avoid him suffering.

We went back home and I cried and missy cried with me...

I'm crying right now just remembering lol.

Very sweet story Red, and sorry for you guys loss, cheers.
RedWolf (28 stories) (1257 posts)
+1
2 years ago (2015-07-15)
Rook,
By the way thank you. You're an animal lover too so you understand me,
Bless you
Red

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