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A Loss And A Ghostly Comfort

 

I was pregnant with my first child, my former husband and I had just discovered that we were having a girl and had agreed on the name Abigail Rose. I remember picking the name Abigail because it meant a father's pride and joy.

A few nights later I had a dream of a large white room with an old fashion bassinet in the center. I walked up to the bassinet to find a baby girl.

Her eyes were a dark brown with fine hair, wrapped in a pink blanket with white stars and moons on it. Just like the one I had picked out, I knew she was mine.

As I reached out to touch her tiny hand a single white feather floated down and landed on her. At that moment the bassinet filled with blood and the baby was gone. All I heard was "She is safer with me."

I woke up tears streaming down my face and had the feeling that something was wrong with my baby. I woke up my now ex-husband and told him about the dream and my feeling but he chopped it up to my hormones and told me to go back to sleep.

Three nights later I went to a revival and stayed to help clean up after the church dinner, putting me home later than I told him I would be.

I knocked on the door to our trailer and was greeted by a drunken enraged husband who refused to believe that I was at the revival but rather that I was out with another man. Mind you I had never cheated on him but he had been cheated on in the past by other women.

Needless to say things got physical and he pushed me causing me to hit the side of our wood heater. When I stood up I noticed that I was bleeding. After calling a friend asking them to take me to the hospital I found out that I lost my baby.

A year passed and the sorrow that had eaten at me for such a long time turned into a rage so blinding that it was hard for me to function. The world around me was a vacant blur.

Before I knew it October 14, 2010 was before me (what would have been Abigail's due date). I drug myself from my bed and went to the closest store that carried balloons and asked for a single pink one, went to the park and released it in remembrance of her and went back home.

As I laid in bed that night curled up with what would have been her blanket that I would have brought her home in I broke. Angry and heartbroken I screamed at God asking him why he would give me such a precious gift just to rip her away from me. I remember saying what I wouldn't give to hold her or simply hear her voice.

After awhile I guess that I exhausted myself and fell asleep because I was awoken by something that I will never forget.

It felt like a tiny hand on the side of my face, followed by a small voice that sounded like a little girl that said "I love you, momma, don't be sad. I'm OK now." I remember trying to peer into the darkness to see her but could only see my dresser against the wall across from me.

The little voice spoke again, "Close your eyes and you will see me." Hesitant, but desperate to see my baby girl, I closed my eyes and instantly saw the white room that was in my dream. Except this time a little girl with red curly hair and brown eyes in a pink dress with white sandals ran up to me and wrapped her tiny arms around me and kissed my stomach.

Her smile was so innocent, genuine so pure. I bent down to kiss her and she whispered in my ear "I am always with you, momma" then turned and walked away. I tried to follow her but my feet would not move almost like a force was keeping me in place. I then heard in a different voice "You are still needed."

When I opened my eyes again it was daylight and for the first time in a long time I had peace in my soul. I could finally accept her passing because I know now that she is OK.

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Comments about this paranormal experience

The following comments are submitted by users of this site and are not official positions by yourghoststories.com. Please read our guidelines and the previous posts before posting. The author, Silentwings, has the following expectation about your feedback: I will read the comments and participate in the discussion.

AlexZernov (2 stories) (19 posts)
 
2 years ago (2016-03-06)
Silentwings: I don't know if it is rude to ask in you country/culture. But are you expecting a child/already have a child now? I would want to hear a yes as that would be so much peaceful and reassure the belief in god. Please do let me know.
Silentwings (guest)
+1
2 years ago (2015-09-30)
Dido, Thank you it really did helps bring peace to me and I know that Abigail is in a lot better place.
dido (4 stories) (12 posts)
 
2 years ago (2015-09-30)
Silentwings - This a such a beautiful story. Thank you for Sharing with us. ❤
shelbyloree (5 stories) (285 posts)
 
2 years ago (2015-09-21)
Thanks, unfortunately it is extremely common, I think more than anyone realizes. I can count on one hand the women in my family who have NOT had one, and they are subconciously treated a bit different from everyone else, more "out of the loop" type of thing. So at the very least I'm around people who understand.

That is a nice thought about the stars, I do think we carry them with us through the rest of our lives. My great-grandma on her deathbed kept calling for a child no one knew. Turned out, her first had miscarried, but for 80 something years she had kept it a secret. Life and death are not easy things.
Silentwings (guest)
+1
2 years ago (2015-09-20)
Shelbyloree, I am sorry you did not get to mourn the loss of your baby, that is a huge part of the healing process. Honestly I do not think it a coincidence that you saw the shooting star that night. I have a theory though it has never been proven correct. I think that sometimes a spirit that isn't ready to move on chooses to be a star so they can stay and view the world from a different perspective, yet still keeping an eye on their love ones. I can't tell you how much I love the moon and stars and how many times I have watched the stars and feel like more than one person is with me. I refuse to believe that stars are nothing more than balls of gas and simple matter. As for the dreams about blood, I definitely think it is a warning to try and prepare us but can't be sure. I only hope that one day you can find peace, concerning your loss. -hugs you-
shelbyloree (5 stories) (285 posts)
 
2 years ago (2015-09-19)
That is very wonderful she still helps you! I'm afraid I cried for a week or so after reading this one and am still in tears. I was unable to mourn my loss as I was pregnant again a month later. Two other relatives had children at the same time the miscarriage would have been born, so perhaps it didn't want to share a birthday with so many others? All I know is that I never see stars here because of the clouds, but that night on the way to the hospital, I looked up and saw a shooting star. I'm still no sure if that was a sign of a soul passing or a warning things would not turn out well.

I do know that for the entire time of that pregnancy, 8 weeks plus the two before it passed, I also dreamed nightly of blood. Literal rivers of blood washing people away, it was horrible. I'm wondering if that is a common thing so we are prepared somewhat? I still don't like to think about it, although I did get the sense it was a female and named Alex. I'm glad you had closure though, that is very nice.
Silentwings (guest)
 
2 years ago (2015-09-12)
Caz, -hugs back- thank-you for your kind words, it is my hope that it can be of help to someone. This experience was proof that when an infant dies they do grow and that they have a chance at a new and peaceful life. Though it is something very hard to go through in the end there is a reason behind it. This has to be one of the most touching/difficult events that I have experienced difficult because that was the only time that I saw her but it did help mend my soul. I will always carry my little girl with me and sometimes I still think that I feel her at times.
Caz (221 posts)
 
2 years ago (2015-09-12)
Silentwings...Just like others, I had a hard time reading this through my tears. I'm sure anyone reading this who has had the misfortune to lose a child, will be comforted by it, so Bless you for sharing. ((hug))
sheetal (6 stories) (765 posts)
 
2 years ago (2015-09-10)
You are right silentwings...:) I am so glad that you are blessed with sweet daughter 😁 😁 😁
Silentwings (guest)
+2
2 years ago (2015-09-07)
Sheetal, I use to hate him but had to let that go because hate weighs heavy on the soul. You are welcome, I shared this story for many reasons and in the long run my baby girl is in a peaceful place and I will always love her. It will come back to him. Thank-you I have actually been blessed with a beautiful healthy daughter who is 2. Thank you for your kind words.

Love and light to you.
sheetal (6 stories) (765 posts)
 
2 years ago (2015-09-07)
Oh my god! My eyes filled with tear... I am sorry to say but I am just hating your ex-husband 😠 😠... I can understand your pain dear... There is nothing best than motherhood for every girl... I am very very sorry for your loss... I am glad that your sweet daughter is with you... Thanks you sooooo much for sharing this beautiful, beyond the imagination story... God bless you dear... I'll pray that you will get your daughter back one day ❤
Bliss006 (6 stories) (49 posts)
 
2 years ago (2015-09-06)
Thats a a tragic and beautiful story, all I can say is that heaven has gained a new angel.
Silentwings (guest)
+1
2 years ago (2015-09-05)
Samtillie, Thank you so much I can honestly say that moment was one of the most touching and peaceful times in my life, along with my 2nd daughters birth. To hear her tiny voice and feel her touch both melted and in a huge sense healed my soul. I will always love my sweet Abigail Rose ❤
samtillie (5 stories) (242 posts)
 
2 years ago (2015-09-05)
Silentwings, what a beautiful but heartbreaking story. It truly brought tears to my eyes. You wrote it so beautifully too, I could play it out in my mind like a little film. It's wonderful your little girl came to see you and spoke to you. I can imagine the touch of her little hand on your face and how you will cherish everything you felt. I'm truly sorry for your loss. ❤ ❤
Silentwings (guest)
 
2 years ago (2015-09-05)
MaybeADreamer, Thank you I appreciate your comment. I at least now ai know she is OK. I carry a piece of her with me always.
MaybeADreamer (4 stories) (53 posts)
 
2 years ago (2015-09-05)
Hi silent, I am sorry for your loss but I am glad she managed to make peace for you. A lovely story thank you for sharing xx ❤
Silentwings (guest)
+1
2 years ago (2015-09-04)
Valkicry, I completely agree of course at the time I didn't see it that way. After 5 years though I still feel her with me and for that I am very grateful. 😊
valkricry (39 stories) (2749 posts) mod
+1
2 years ago (2015-09-04)
I put this in my favorites too. I too believe, that a mother never truly looses a child, they've just gone ahead of us for awhile.
lexi-loo (1 stories) (175 posts)
 
2 years ago (2015-09-04)
aww ok and again I'm glad you know your daughter is at peace and that she is just a thought away ❤
Silentwings (guest)
+1
2 years ago (2015-09-04)
Lexi, O no your alright trust me if it would have opened old wounds I wouldn't have posted it. 😉

Love and light to you
lexi-loo (1 stories) (175 posts)
+1
2 years ago (2015-09-04)
i didn't want to open old wounds for you as it happened in such a tragic way but I an happy for you that your little girl is watching over you and don't forget even if you don't see her she will always be in your heart.x
Silentwings (guest)
+1
2 years ago (2015-09-04)
Faith, thank you for your sweet comment, as many positive reviews that I have gotten on this it will probably be an entry in a book I'm hoping to write.
faith1986 (23 posts)
 
2 years ago (2015-09-04)
Favorite for sure! I love it. I am so sorry for your loss, but it sure was a beautiful, bittersweet, and very well written story! Thank you for sharing with us! What a sweet little angel you have looking over you!
Silentwings (guest)
+1
2 years ago (2015-09-04)
Lexi, thank you it's something I will never forget, I think every mother who has loss a child should have the chance to see them in some form or another.
lexi-loo (1 stories) (175 posts)
 
2 years ago (2015-09-04)
i usually pass over storys that have the loss of children in them as they make me sad 😢 but yours was so heart warming at the end.
I am so sorry for your loss but glad that you got to feel her pressence ❤
Silentwings (guest)
 
2 years ago (2015-09-04)
Rook, thank you that means a lot I truly appreciate it.

Wardo, yes I'm sorry I should have stated that a bit more clearly. It was the first year after what would have been her due date. Thank you for the condolences, I am just very happy that I was able to have that experience.
Wardo (8 stories) (171 posts)
 
2 years ago (2015-09-04)
Wow what a lot of life experiences so close together. I am so sorry for your loss, but I am glad that you had a peaceful message from your daughter. I had one question about the timeline of the events. You said a year had passed and it would be Abigail's due date. Do you mean a year after her due date? Just trying to get a feel for the timeline of the events. Thank you for sharing, God bless you!
rookdygin (24 stories) (4338 posts)
 
2 years ago (2015-09-04)
Instant Faviorte. What more can I say.

Thank you for sharing.

Respectfully,

Rook

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