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Needed Love

 

What I am about to tell you may sound unreal or made up but it's real and it's my life. I have been dealing with a spirit I believe is attached to me. I believe/believed it's an incubus but I am not going to talk about that, I'm going to explain something else that recently happened.

Of course people know of the incubus, what they do but that's not the main focus of my story. What I've been going through for the past 5 years, I think it's an incubus but lately I'm starting to think it's probably something different. Here's why.

My ex-boyfriend of 8 years decided to leave because things got a little tough on us. We have kids together and lived together for 3 years but regardless that he still felt the need to walk away. It has been hard but I have to keep my head on right and raise my kids.

Since he left I decided to moved back in with my parents because it's easier, my kids love it here and I'm not alone all the time. Before I moved back in with my parents I had experiences with this spirit but I never said anything to anyone. I keep a lot of things to myself and I know that's bad but it's hard, complicated explaining these types of things to people. Since I have been back at my parents' house, which has been about 4 months now I've been crying a lot while I'm alone, I've cried myself to sleep and even in the shower. I know it's a lot of crying.

One night I was talking to myself, trying to clear my head of everything and while I was lying in bed I heard a voice say "I love you." I can't say it was a male but I've never heard a voice like that, it was directly in my ear. It was spooky, I was the only one up and it was dark in the room. I tried to brush it off but I couldn't, I knew what I heard.

A couple nights after that my daughter started saying how there's a ghost in my parents' living room, how it watches us and how she is scared. I definitely believe my daughter but as a parent I'm not sure what to say, I tell her not to worry and I'm here to protect her. Along with that I've seen a spirit twice on two different occasions, one was in my parents' room and the other in the living room. The spirit was tall, I couldn't see a face.

The first incident it came running in my parents' room where I was alone and the second incident, which was I believe a week later, it was walking away from me but saying my name. It's really scary, I've had experiences before but it has gotten stronger I believe.

This month things took a strange turn, so I mentioned it being an incubus which I will not go into detail about but I have had them type of experiences for a long time even through my relationship and my break up.

After dealing with what I believe to be an incubus for 5 years the incidents stop randomly one night. After crying again to my sister about my kids' father, I didn't feel anything in the house or see anything and for some people that's a good thing but for me it was odd.

The first week I was talking to a friend, she was saying how I should start talking to guys to take me mind off my kids' father and I agreed. She put an ad up on a Craiglist, which I have to say I was a little embarrassed about but it happened. I got a lot of replies from all types of men, I didn't really find anyone I liked until about a few days in.

I was kind of doubting the whole thing at that point but one afternoon I went to check my email and I seen this well written email from this guy named Tim. When I first opened the email it was funny, I felt at that moment it was different and the way it was written seemed he had took his time writing me. I replied instantly, we got to know each other very well but never talked on the phone, we did exchange pictures often. Now through talking to Tim I haven't had ANY experiences with the spirit I believed to be the incubus or the attached spirit.

When Tim and I were talking we got very close, opened up to one another and we both questioned how we had such a strong connection and we barely knew each other. He wrote to me a lot, even sent me pictures of what he does for work. He would mentioned how he was my personal "gargoyle" which was really cute. He mentioned how he would protect me, love and trust me. He said how I can trust him as well. We talked about this vibe we had and the crazy feelings we were gaining for each other. It was scary but we both wanted it.

I remember reading one of the messages and it said how he was going to protect me from evil spirits and watch over me. He said he was my watchman and I know he was probably just talking but it felt like something more because how he wrote it. He mentioned how maybe God brought us together for a reason. He pretty much made me feel happy again in a way that I didn't expect to feel anytime soon. I liked talking to him.

We talk about meeting each for the first time and how we couldn't wait to touch each other and be around each other. He would call me beautiful, tell me how I'm an amazing woman and how I deserve to be treated like one. He made me feel loved. I never even mentioned my recent break up or anything like to him and yet he still made me feel like he needed to say those things. He would tell me how I made him feel things he haven't felt in years, he was amazing. After talking for a while things were going perfect so I thought.

One night he texted me this long message like every other time and the next morning he just randomly came to a stop. He texted me that morning saying that he was just basically writing to tell me goodbye but it was written a little different. He stated that God knows his feelings are from his heart and what we have is unique. He also said that God has sent him on a different road, that he wasn't deleting me out his life but where he's going he would not be returning and may never return. He said he can't question it. I wrote him telling him how I didn't understand and what was going on, why was he leaving me suddenly with no explanation but I never heard from him again. He never answered me, nothing. I was upset because I didn't fully get what had happened.

That following day my sister asked to watch my kids for the night. I agreed, I haven't had a night to myself in a while and needed to clear my head but that night I was seeing something in my room. I tried to ignore it but it didn't work, so that entire night I slept with the covers over my head. That morning I had an experience again with the spirit. It was kind of freaky because I didn't understand why it stopped randomly then begun again.

Later that day my kids came back home and I was in the kitchen cooking. I was thinking out loud, basically talking to myself and I started realizing that a day or 2 after the incidents with the spirit stopped Tim popped up and as soon as Tim disappeared I get the incidents again.

Now I was saying all that aloud to myself in my kitchen then... BOOM! I get a crazy bad anxiety attack, I was sooo terrified, if you know what it feels like then you can understand why. I've had one before but that one was intense and scary, it happened right after I mentioned what I was thinking.

Now I feel crazy but I kind of feel like maybe that spirit was Tim and I know it sounds crazy because how can a spirit possibly email someone... I have no explanation for it. I know it's real and a part of me is scared because I have something I'm dealing with and I don't know what it is or what it wants.

I haven't heard from Tim since that last message. He basically just disappeared after telling me so much. I was going through a heartbreak and I feel like the spirit saw me hurting, I felt alone, like no one loved me. Having Tim come to me then leave like that was hard. He told me things that I didn't even mention to him.

At this point I don't know what to think but that's my story... I still don't understand what happened to Tim and maybe I'm not supposed to and even if Tim isn't this spirit I still have no explanation for anything that's going on with me. I have so many unexplainable incidents and I just want answers I guess.

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Comments about this paranormal experience

The following comments are submitted by users of this site and are not official positions by yourghoststories.com. Please read our guidelines and the previous posts before posting. The author, NVina22, has the following expectation about your feedback: I will read the comments and participate in the discussion.

Marinnenir (7 posts)
 
2 years ago (2015-12-15)
I think, that, that *presence* is very much real. Of course some traits (presence dissapears, when he appears) suggests, that he is *figment of your imagination (you're sad, lonely blahblahblah) but... No figment of imagination would be angered or anxious when being recognised, because that's what (I believe) happened. Whether he taken over temporarily Times body, or *just appeared* for you I don't know. I personally wouldn't jump and *search for love*, but focus on things I like, or hobby. I also would try to talk to thin air 😉 Aren't you even bit thankful for him appearing? 😜. If he loves you, you don't have to be affraid... And maybe visit some kind of trustable (not christ, demons or exorcism mad) psychic. Maybe he/she could say anything.

Think also if you haven't revealed things that Tim knew on your profile?
Good luck ❤
sds (14 stories) (1357 posts)
 
2 years ago (2015-12-15)
Hi NVina22, welcome to YGS and thanks for sharing your experience. As Miracles advised, please don't venture into explaining things about incubus events, I know you won't but still, it is better not to, both for adhering to the site's guidelines and also for your sake.

My Dear Val, I voted for you cursing (lol) because you totally stole whatever I wanted to say. I do have a feeling NVina22 like Val that you definitely need a therapist and you better confide in him or her. I also feel that the presence you felt (even when your boy friend was with you) and subsequently until you had those correspondence or exchanges with Tim might be due to your depression, which you might not have felt by yourself. You also said that you didn't discuss the presence with anybody else in your narrative. I don't think Tim is the spirit and I feel that there was no spirit and it might be because of the depressive state that you started feeling a presence and you also heard that something say "Love you". Yes, your narrative's title was correct "Needed Love" and I think you do need love. Love and affection will make vanish depression. And someone here quoted, Love happens when it happens. So wait for that. Please don't venture into Craiglists or any such things. It is my sincere suggestion. Please be bold because you have to bring up the kids and show them your love and affection. My prayers are with you and God be with you. Please don't feel offended when I said that there was no spirit and don't feel that I have given a tangential comment.

Regards and respects to you, Val and Miracles.

SDS
NVina22 (1 stories) (1 posts)
 
2 years ago (2015-12-14)
I really appreciate everyone for responding to my situation, I don't know who would have ever believed me of I haven't found this website. I have tired getting in contact with Tim but no luck with that, its seems he just walked off the planet, I have deleted my Craiglist account but as far as the spirit goes its still around. My family has moved to a new house and the spirit has been doing the same as usual. I noticed that the spirit will not interact with me when my kids are near, only when I am alone, it comes at anytime of the day. Recently I was in my room around 2pm and laying in bed when the incident happened and it didn't take that long for it to be done. Later that night it tried to come back but I told it I was too tired and scared so it stop trying. Last night I had a dream about it being the devil but its doesn't like when I refer to it as that. I feel like it gets upset when I think of it in a negative way, it doesn't harm me though I think. It seems to understand me sometimes but I'm afraid because I'm just unsure of what it is and what really wants. Anyway I'm not open with my kids about this kind of stuff to much but they are like me very sensitive to it, because I went through it growing up I definitely believe them. My kids come to a lot when they feel scared about spirits, they let me know what they see and hear. Usually I tell Them don't worry I'm here to protect them but I'm alil afraid at times too.
jwarrdor (8 posts)
 
2 years ago (2015-12-08)
I certainly agree that stress and depression in our lives can lead to our own imaginations going a little haywire. However, since you indicated that you have been experiencing activity for some time, I'm not sold on the relationship theory. If the activity was happening while you were with you longtime boyfriend that seems to contradict the theory that a lack of human relationship is the cause, unless that was a particulaly rocky relationship.

As far who/what Tim was, it does seem likely that it was some form of scam, but I do hope that isn't true and he reaches out again. I don't think there is any chance that Tim is/was the spirit.

I do find it interesting that your daughter said she saw a "ghost" as opposed to a man or a shadow. Do you talk to your children about this kind of stuff? Maybe gathering their experiences might help you get a better understanding of what is going on. In any case I would recommend being proactive for their case, especially considering you other suspicions regarding this spirit.
RANDYM (1 stories) (247 posts)
+1
2 years ago (2015-12-06)
So sorry you are going through a hard time but it will pass.
Love happens when it happens, not when you shop for it on Craigslist.
I agree with the others who say to delete the account. There are way to many wierdo's out there. I think Tim is a real person who just decided he wanted out. As for the possible spirit, they can and do feed on negative emotions. If you are feeling down they will prey on that and make it worse.
Try taking charge of yourself and tell it to leave you alone. It isn't welcome and you are done with it. Ignore any little games it tries to play with you. It sounds like it is feeding on your desire for companionship. Let is know in no uncertain terms that it doesn't belong in the land of the living and try and move on. Good luck to you.
otteer (8 stories) (398 posts)
+3
2 years ago (2015-12-05)
1st, I'm sorry for your loss. I remember my breakup well and it hurts. I imagine it is much harder when someone leaves you. You need time to grieve and I'm glad you are living with your support system to help you get through this. I did the same thing and it did help my child feel safe and secure. I went to counseling as I had deep lows myself, so much so sometimes I could not breathe. Once I figured out the breakup was not because of me, and was best for the future of my child and myself, things got better. As it turns out 10 years later, after his death, I found out all sorts of things about him that confirmed leaving him was spot on correct. Give yourself that time to grieve, talk to someone, and open yourself up to the possibilities that love will come again.

I agree, stay away from Craigs list. Dangerous, dangerous and fraudsters abound. For every genuine person seeking companionship there are 20 who are not who they say they are and have no intention of hooking up, ever. Get involved in your childrens PTAs, join a church to be with people, volunteer in your community (library, city hall, food banks). Be amongst the living, and let the dead and online relationships alone. Sure online helps keep you from feeling lonely, I have made some wonderful friends in forums and such and they have helped me through some tough times, but I'm careful to not get too involved as its easy to be hurt. You are not alone in your situation, others have lost relationships and are willing to connect but you have to do it in a safe environment. (like an accredited, monitored and background checked site).

Your spirit activity may be coming to you because of emotional upheaval. I know I have had intense sexual dreams so consider if your visits may in fact, these rather than actual paranormal experiences. You are right to acknowledge your childrens experiences with support rather than making them feel they are crazy. Keep that up. Perhaps to a cleansing of the home, of your room, your space.

Dont take any visits personally, spirits do what they do because they can. If you don't want them invading your physical space, tell them. Ever wonder why a spirit has to feel the need to bother a human physically? I believe its because they know they cannot be perceived as who they really are, much like someone online creating a personality to connect with others. In their own realm, others know who they are and cannot be duped. Perhaps you do have a guardian spirit who is protecting you but it never should cross over into physical and emotional manipulation. Perhaps this entity knows he can access you only when you are not involved in a human relationship, keep that in mind.
I wish you the best... Stay connected, let us know how you doing! Xxxx
valkricry (39 stories) (2731 posts) mod
+5
2 years ago (2015-12-05)
NVina,
I could be off base, but it seems to me that much of what you're experiencing could be depression induced. Our subconscious can really do a number on us. Your boyfriend left you after 8 years, it's normal that you'd feel rejected, and hurt. Let's not forget the stress level either. Perhaps this all summoned/created something to fill that void you felt. Or at least tries to. Then when you thought you had found 'love' again it stopped. Tim fulfilled those wishes and desires to feel wanted. Then he leaves and *bam* guess what comes back.
I want to reassure you that I don't think you're crazy or making it up, a good therapist wouldn't either. Personally, I think maybe you should talk with a professional therapist, who could help you achieve the tools you need to cope with your situation, or if you're affiliated with a church your pastor or priest.
Jodie_S (1 stories) (15 posts)
+3
2 years ago (2015-12-04)
NVina22 - I agree with Miracles. Craigslist is a dangerous way to meet people. You have children and need to be extra cautious. There are much better ways to meet people. Please delete your account!

I also agree that Tim is not who you thought he was and despite how sad it makes you, I think you really dodged a bullet there. People can be cruel and look to take advantage of those who appear to be going through a vulnerable time.

Wishing you the best.

Jodie
Miracles51031 (36 stories) (4802 posts) mod
+8
2 years ago (2015-12-04)
NVina22 - before I add my thoughts about what your experience, I want to thank you for not going into any detail on what you believed to be an incubus. And please, if you are asked for details about this, do not answer them. They will have to be deleted.

Now, my thoughts. First, I have to do the Mom thing and say Craigslist is probably one of the worst, and unsafe ways, to meet someone. My advice is to delete your account. Seriously.

I honestly think Tim was playing you. Either he was married and couldn't find another way to end your online relationship without hurting you, or he is just an absolute butthead (for lack of a stronger word) and was just doing this for his amusement. Regardless, I believe Tim is a living person who gets his kicks in taking advantage of women.

Maybe, instead of trying to find a new relationship, you should take time for yourself and your kids. But heal your heart first before trying to find another love ❤
Amzu15 (19 posts)
+1
2 years ago (2015-12-04)
You must be going through a hard time. But you you should try and be optimistic as much as possible. Coming to you and tim. In the middle of the story I also started thinking he was the spirit.aren't you curious where did he go? What happened?don't you have an address or something. You should atleast try. Call him. Anything that you can do. Plz do it.
Love
Uzma x.

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