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Mom's Comfort

 

When my mother died at 55 of an unexpected heart attack, my primary feeling was anger because she'd been seeing doctors the prior six months because she wasn't feeling well. The battery of tests and procedures cost around $6,000 out of her pocket since she had no insurance and were quite wearing and tedious. It finally reached a point where doctors were emoting she was a hypochondriac. Anyone that really knew my mother would know that's the last adjective to describe her. It hurt her, and made her feel like she didn't count any more because she was not working and older. She'd retired about four years before from work she absolutely loved, on a doctor's advice, because she was having arm pain and high blood pressure.

A few weeks after mom's funeral I was looking through my closet for something to wear to go out to dinner and came across a rather fancy blouse I'd never seen before. I was absolutely stunned. Where did this blouse come from? I dropped my hand from the hanger to continue my search because the blouse was too fancy for the dinner, but I was still puzzling over it. You see, just a few months before, I'd semi-retired and moved to a rural area. I got rid of all my business and fancy clothes and kept only jeans, sweats, ski clothes and flannel shirts. To my knowledge I'd never purchased this blouse and had never seen it before. It had actually been over four years since I'd even shopped for clothes, as I'm not really fond of dressing up and had plenty of clothes. Now it was the only dress blouse in my rather sparse wardrobe and hanging in a large closet in a singularly lonely and obvious position.

After getting dressed for dinner I came up with the bright idea of checking for a price tag and the label. In my family it was quite common for us to purchase clothes second hand because we had a love for the nice materials and quality construction we couldn't afford new. We specifically would look for quality fabrics and then check the labels, usually finding they were Chanel, Christian Dior, Armani, Versace or some other great designer. We weren't being snobbish; we just like the quality and cut of the fabrics usually used by these designers, and quite often the labels were these designers. So I checked the label, rather expecting a Chanel label, and it said, "I Love You".

Now I'm totally shaken and my heart just leaped to my throat. I felt weak with shock. I was scared to death. The little hairs on the back of my neck and on my arms just stood up. I just knew instinctively it was a message from my mother. I thought to myself, "Oh, that's totally ridiculous. You're being irrational." I checked for a price tag, and it was the handwritten price tag of a second hand store. That showed I had never worn the blouse. I started feeling all warm and fuzzy at the thought of my mother giving me a last farewell. I tell ya'all, I loved my mother with all of me. Then the thought hit me it might be an evil spirit pretending to be my mother, to take advantage of my grief and anger at her loss. This thought and my fear just shut me down and her/it out. I immediately rejected it was my mother telling me she was OK and to let go of my anger. It took me over five years before I was able to let go of that anger. I've regretted that lost opportunity for comfort and for me to acknowledge to her that I heard and felt her good wishes for me. In later years I've accepted it was really her and gain comfort in that. I know she knows that and understands why I reacted the way I did and forgives me for that reaction.

My mom was born 3 Dec 1928 and died 5 Dec 1983 when I was 27 years of age. There is not a day that goes by when I don't think of her and miss her.

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The following comments are submitted by users of this site and are not official positions by yourghoststories.com. Please read our guidelines and the previous posts before posting. The author, C2C, has the following expectation about your feedback: I will read the comments and participate in the discussion.

C2C (3 stories) (62 posts)
 
2 years ago (2016-01-21)
Miracles51031: I hope you start feeling better soon because you're one of my favorite posters.
C2C (3 stories) (62 posts)
 
2 years ago (2016-01-09)
Hi Friends: Thank you for reading my story and your comments. I no longer have the blouse. I've been through 2 divorces and hurried and stressful moves from my homes and somewhere along the line that blouse was lost. In fact, my sisters packed my house from my last move so I could avoid attorneys serving me with papers preventing me from leaving the state with my son.

Valkicry: Yes, I was semi-retired at 27 with my 1st hubby. He was 20 years older than I was, and we'd started and eventually sold a business, making enough to buy a nice home and live frugally but in a comfortable way. Unfortunately he went through what I consider a mid-life crisis and wanted to be rid of me, so we parted and I had to start my life back over. Since we'd been together 14 years it was hard. I really enjoyed those 10 semi-retired years though, even then realizing how gifted I was to be able to enjoy fireplace fires with cocoa, jigsaw puzzles, garden planning, starting seeds on the hearth, hiking, traveling, cooking and yearly Christmas and New Year's parties with close friends; all at such a young age when I was healthy and strong. So few people get ever to enjoy such a good life as what I had in those 10 years, and in spite of the eventual divorce, I still appreciate what my first husband gave me. I had worked for it too--a joint effort and I earned it, but it was meeting him that gave me that opportunity. While I lived the dream I even then realized that like all things it was finite and was determined to enjoy it to the fullest. And I did. I was a lucky woman for a while but didn't take it for granted. Life has a way of throwing curve balls and you just have to take the good with the bad. I often thought/wished my mother had had the same opportunity.
valkricry (39 stories) (2747 posts) mod
 
2 years ago (2016-01-01)
C2C,
Beautiful story. Although, I am a bit surprised you could semi-retire at 27! (I know it happens, but - wow!)
Anger at loosing a loved one is totally normal. So is questioning yourself on the reality of a sign you receive.
I hope you have kept that blouse or at least the label from it, for it is truly precious.
sbst_gh (2 stories) (6 posts)
+1
2 years ago (2016-01-01)
Do you still have the blouse? If yes, may you please upload pictures?
Miracles51031 (36 stories) (4802 posts) mod
 
2 years ago (2015-12-30)
C2C - what an absolutely wonderful story 😊. I understand the doubt you experienced, and believe it's perfectly natural. I'm sorry you missed out on the years of enjoying your mom's visit but am glad you have accepted it as it was. I'm struggling today to put my thoughts into words and apologize because this isn't really what, how, or all that I want to say.

Thank you for sharing this with us 😊

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