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I'd Like To Know What It Wants

 

I'm not all that keen on the supernatural and I've always been kind of back and forth on the possibility. I've a tendency to be a bit of a skeptic and, where "seeing is believing" is enough for some, it's never really been for me. But I'll explain that more in a moment.

I don't think I'd ever considered the possibility of a supernatural realm that can sometimes, at least, overlap with ours until I was a preteen, 12 maybe. I was never afraid of the dark, never worried about ghosts or monsters under the bed, etc. I just wasn't that kid.

When I was about 12, though, we moved into a new home which also happened to be next door (separated by a thin strip of wooded area and a parking lot) to a church and cemetery. The cemetery where my maternal grandfather and his parents are buried actually. I wasn't afraid of the cemetery. Not at that point anyway.

Within a couple of months or so of moving in I had my first "experience" which I won't call supernatural because I don't know that it was. I was young, my parents had just uprooted me and moved me to a different school district, and we had a bit of a dysfunctional home life anyway... I can't say that it wasn't stress or just a half-waking dream, but I will say that it certainly did seem real to me at that time.

Anyway, I was in bed, sleeping - no idea of the time. For whatever reason I woke and my brother was standing at the bottom of my bed. Again, I was maybe 12 and he's two years younger so about 10 or so at the time. I assumed that he'd gotten scared, had a bad dream, whatever and come into my room to sleep. Except he just stood at the bottom of my bed facing forward across the length of the bed and he didn't say anything. That probably lasted a few seconds before it struck me as odd and it occurred to me that whatever I was seeing, it wasn't my little brother. I was immediately just frozen in fear. I said his name, but whatever had been there, if anything had been there at all, wasn't there anymore. It didn't "fade" or flash out or whatever. I just saw it one moment and then didn't the next.

Anyway, I lived in that home from the time I was a preteen to the time that I graduated high school (moved out immediately after graduated). It came to a point where I was terrified of that place, day or night, whether I was alone or whether anyone was with me. I suffered from insomnia. Some nights I would lie in bed for hours without being able to sleep. Some nights I'd lay awake virtually all night.

On a number of odd nights I would wake up once an hour, exactly on the hour mark from the point I had last woke. It's generally at this point in someone's story that I would start losing faith in the accuracy or credibility of it, but I swear with whatever deity you prefer as my witness, on my life, etc that this happened to me frequently. I'd, for example, wake at 2:17 am, drift back off, wake again and the the red, digital read out on my alarm clock would say 3:17 a.m., then again at 4:17 a.m., 5:17 a.m. On those random nights that this happened, it happened no more than 3-5 times each.

Anyway, I had a habit of going into the cemetery and sitting by a particular stone (not a family stone, but one that was old and weathered and in a pretty, sunny spot) and read or write in my diary. At the worst of everything, though, when I couldn't relax in the house for just having the feeling of something being there and I couldn't sleep, I finally became desperate. I went to the graveyard, to the stone that I liked to sit by, and I just bawled and begged whatever it was to just leave me be. Even promised I would come back to "visit", but I just really didn't want anything following me home.

Whether that actually made a difference or if it just put my mind at ease I don't know, but the uneasy feelings stopped. I still had trouble sleeping, but it at least improved. Only problem was it didn't last. I completely stopped visiting the cemetery, didn't go back to that stone because I was thoroughly creeped out by all of it. And so the brunt of the time I lived there I stayed a wreck. Took drugs, started smoking, staying anywhere but home when I could get away with it.

Only ever had one other visual experience, and again, I don't know whether what I saw was real or not. Woke in the middle of the night, as usual, rolled over away from the room to the wall, and then was just instantly terrified. I thought I saw a woman's face in the corner of my room and it didn't click at first. Interestingly though, my idiot friend and I decided to have a "seance" several days before this and, of course, had a Ouija. Otherwise, heard things, felt things, but never saw or thought I saw anything else there.

Moved into the place I live in now with my husband and son a couple of years ago. I've only ever lived in a couple of places where I felt completely at ease and like, when I was alone, I was actually alone. I stay on edge here, only recently began to be able to sleep with my back to the room and the doorway. All this for someone who can't decide whether they actually believe in spirits or not.

Anyway, there's some electrical issue in my son's room. Noticed the light flickering shortly after we moved in. Flickered a little every now and again. In the last while, though, it's gotten to the point that the light flickers virtually constantly when it is on. It just constantly flickers and dims and sometimes flashes bright. I was in his room a few weeks ago or so and it was flickering like crazy and just generally irritating me so badly. I finally just snapped, without thinking about it, and said "Would you STOP that, please?" It flickered again - a few little quick flickers, and then steady light for a second, and then another few short flickers, and it stopped. It's only been a few weeks and its not like I stand in the room and watch the light to make sure it absolutely does not flicker again, but I do keep an eye on it when my son's in there watching his toons to see if it starts again. It's just done for the moment, I guess. I don't know why and obviously it could be a coincidence - probably is, but it has me curious.

Even more interestingly, it seems a bit like a trade off. The lights don't flicker but now, for the last couple weeks, I keep catching quick glimpses of something. Always out of the corner of my eye - NEVER straight on and never clear or long enough that I can get an idea of shape or anything like that, or even really be sure that it's not my imagination. It doesn't scare me, but I'd really like to know whether it's just my imagination or something else.

Last thing - I was laying with my son two or three mornings ago - very early morning hours - in bed. Daylight coming in through the blinds and just me and my son because my husband was at work. I was trying to sleep, but opened my eyes for some reason. I absolutely, distinctly saw something round and black but transparent in front of my eyes. It was bizarre. At this point, I should mention that I had an AVM and a brain hemorrhage a handful of years ago. I experienced a lot of trouble with my eyes and there was both physical and neurological damage, and there were instances for a very short while where, when I first opened my eyes, all I saw was black for a couple of seconds. This could very well have been related to that although I never saw anything like this and it's been several years since I've had any kind of notable visual problems.

I'm just very curious here. If there's something here other than my family and my dog, I would like to know. Thing is, I think I may have shut down that believing, seeing part of myself simply by being just so afraid of it when I was younger.

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The following comments are submitted by users of this site and are not official positions by yourghoststories.com. Please read our guidelines and the previous posts before posting. The author, rogansmom516, has the following expectation about your feedback: I will participate in the discussion and I need help with what I have experienced.

RANDYM (2 stories) (265 posts)
 
1 year ago (2016-07-25)
Hello Rogansmom

Fellow Kentuckyian here (Lexington)

Thank you for sharing

Just my humble opinion but it sounds like you are sensitive to those on the other side.
It really is no different than a person who has a talent for music, being an athlete, being good at art, etc.
As we grow from childhood we are taught that there are no such things as ghost and we begin to suppress that sense that we all have. I think for someone like yourself that has a natural gift you can't fully suppress it. Its also one of those things you have to decide for yourself what you want to do with it. Or not want to for that matter. If it continues you may want to try and find someone like yourself that can help you control it better and turn it off when you wish.

AS for the ghosts.
Try and think of it this way.
A ghost is nothing more than a person who no longer has a body.
For the most part, ghost get a bad rap as most people seem to
Be fearful right away due to the stereotype.
If it helps, picture a ghost holding a sign that reads
"Ghosts non lives matter"

BTW, you did the right thing in telling whoever to stop with the lights. You may be surprised at how often something like that
Will work. They can hear you, so if they are bothering you in
Some way tell them. Speak clear and loud and let them know.

Please keep us up to date and I hope you get some peace.

Cheer
Randy
rookdygin (24 stories) (4358 posts)
+1
1 year ago (2016-07-21)
(Que Handle's Messiah Chorus)

"Hallelujah, hallelujah
Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah
Hallelujah, hallelujah
Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah
Hallelujah, hallelujah!"

😳

To much?

If its not obvious I completely agree with what Biblio has stated.

Keeping a Journal helps. It allows us to return to a specific date and time and review... Over time we can see patterns established that lead to answers, most of which are NOT paranormal in nature but come from natural sources, just things we never realized were happening around us UNTIL our 'record keeping' started.

Respectfully,

Rook
Bibliothecarius (5 stories) (745 posts)
+2
1 year ago (2016-07-20)
Greetings, rogansmom.

Your narrative is clear, descriptive, and familiar. You tried to suppress a your ability out of fear and your need to protect yourself. Self-preservation is not wrong; however, trying to ignore a natural propensity for seeing the paranormal will cause internal stress.

Think about the number of times you've had a bad day because several people have pushed your buttons and gotten you angry, then someone does something slightly irritating and you've suddenly exploded him or her with the full blast of a day's worth of anger. The pressure built until there was nowhere for it to go, then it did an impersonation of Mt. Vesuvius wiping out Pompeii and Herculaneum. Similarly, suppressing your ability to see/feel the supernatural didn't make it go away, you just padlocked it into a cupboard and hoped that it wasn't still there.

Many researchers into paranormal phenomena think that animals and children can see the paranormal quite naturally, but grow out of it once they develop Object Permanence; in some individuals the ability never diminishes, and in others, the ability gets jump-started around puberty because the hypothalamus and pituitary glands pretty much go berserk while trying to turn a child into an adult.

It seems to me, for the first half of your narrative, that the move to the new home adjacent to the cemetery coincided with your awakening abilities. Not wanting to deal with other people's problems is pretty common in teenagers, but when the problems include being dead, it can be overwhelming. With the caveat in the footnote to this message, I'm going to agree with Ashar's statement about drugs & their effects upon the brain; using drugs to bury your issues deeper would have the effect of pressurizing them.

Now, I'm going to ask you to think about the electrical issues in your son's room. The light flickered, you told it to stop, it did it twice more (like a kid doing just enough to prove "you are not the boss" but not enough to warrant a punishment), and then it stopped completely. At this point, I think it would be even more freaky if electrical shorts corrected themselves because you told them to. That would be a bona fide superpower! You could go around to houses with old wiring and terrify the electrical current into behaving itself.

With regard to your AVM, I have no idea how common your particular symptoms are, but the lady I knew with AVM had multiple blind spots in her vision (she said it was like looking through a picket fence, but that the fence was invisible, too). Your seeing black when waking up, then having everything "fade in" like a movie scene-change is rather interesting, but seeing a translucent black ball dosn't seem like the same phenomenon at all (Where did the sphere go? Did it fade out like your AVM-symptomatic blindness, or behave in some other identifiable manner?) This doesn't sound like the symptoms with which I'm familiar, but I'm not a neurologist.

I think that the hormonal changes you experienced in puberty may have reduced your ability to suppress your paranormal awareness; the next time your hormones underwent a massive shift would have been during pregnancy, and being a mother changes your hormonal balance anyway.

Whatever you do, I would caution you against repeating the behaviors of your youth: Drugs -obviously- should not be a part of your life when you are responsible for a child.; avoid Ouija board usage (they're just tools, but so are chainsaws: some things are better left to people who know what they're doing); don't make a bargain/promise, then fail to follow through on it (disappointment is horrible, but disappointed supernatural phenomena can be unpredictable).

The next time you see something out of the corner of your eye, I'd suggest asking it what it is doing there, why is it in your house, etc. If you get a 'negative' gut reaction to it, go to Rookdygin's homepage and look at his 'cleansing' ritual (http://www.yourghoststories.com/user-profile.php?user=8155). It is not a religion-specific ritual, and -as a skeptic- you may even consider it to be a cathartic placebo, but there are people on this site from all over the world and of many different faiths who have relied upon his technique for removing 'bad' energies or entities from their homes. Trust your instincts. You tried to suppress them, you've been aware of their increased prominence in your life, and you are seeing something which is making you uncomfortable. You have a child to protect. It's summer, and Rook's cleansing requires such steps as "opening the windows" which will appear to be a perfectly normal thing to do. If you perform this ritual by following Rook's instructions and the situation improves in your home, either it really worked OR you've reduced your own tension by taking action; if the visual phenomena persist, see your neurologist for a CAT scan or x-ray; if the phenomena increase in strength/number such that you can see them more clearly, repeat the cleansing ritual and protect your son.

Best,
Biblio.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Footnote: I have never tried drugs, they scare me more than the supernatural does. My brain normally does the things that other people take drugs to experience. I used to get impatient with my friends who did occasionally use drugs; they'd tell me that the skeletal patterns in leaves were beautiful because they were microcosm of the branches, and I'd agree, "You're talking about the f'ing obvious. That's fractal mathematics. What the hell do you use your brain for when you're *not* high?" I had no clue that most people didn't notice these details all the time...
ashar123 (6 stories) (167 posts)
+1
1 year ago (2016-07-19)
I can understand the fear and irritation when someone tortures without a reason what recently had been happening with me and stopped suddenly when I submitted my last story here.

Speaking about smoking a drugs that they provide a momentarily relief but in totality make us weak and push us more into the traps set by these entities as they want us to be weak so that they can dominate us. Being brave and ignorant towards these things eventually throw them out of our lives.

Thanks for Sharing! 😊

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