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Real Ghost Stories

Aunt Melody

 

My father's sister, Melody, died when both she and my dad were very young. He was 10, and she was 5. Our hometown is on the coast of North Carolina, and a tropical storm had rolled through the night before. She had crawled into bed with my dad, holding her Raggedy Andy doll. She told my dad that if he was scared, not to worry - Raggedy Andy would protect him. Dad thought it was cute, because he was the big brother, that was his job.

When my dad woke up in the morning, he found her Raggedy Andy doll, but not Melody. As it turns out, she woke up earlier than the household, and went out to the garage to ride her little bicycle - she was almost ready to have the training wheels taken off. But since her bicycle had been put up because of the storm, she got on my dad's big bicycle, instead. She was playing around on the bicycle in the doorway of the garage when a beam that had been dislodged by the storm fell on her, breaking her neck and killing her instantly. I'm not sure who found her, but I think it was my grandfather. My dad never forgave himself, and his parents were absolutely shattered. The effects of Melody's death are still very visible in the family structure today, over 50 years later.

After Melody died, but before the funeral, my dad locked himself in his room and wouldn't come out for days. At some point during that few day period, Melody's ghost came back (and I don't know that she ever left). The first time my dad interacted with her as a ghost was in that first few days. The first time, he was sleeping and woke up to the sound of a marble rolling around under his bed. He heard it roll across the room, and heard it rolling around there, too. He sat up, and it quickly rolled back under the bed. This happened a few times in a row that night, until finally it got comfortable with him and just rolled around on the floor for awhile instead of going back under the bed again. He's told me that he knew without a doubt that it was his little sister, playing around to cheer him up, and it worked. He came out of his room again, but didn't mention it to his parents.

Melody would feel present to my dad from that point forward, but he didn't actually see her again until he was in his late teens. He and some buddies were going to be heading out to Ocracoke Island the next morning, but he woke up in the night to the sound of his little sister, sobbing beside his bed. He said that he saw her very clearly, standing there by the bed, absolutely distraught, so he sat up and told her it would be OK. She disappeared, and he went back to sleep, thinking little of it. The next day, the guys met up to drive out to the beach, and not long after getting onto the island, they were run off the road by a bunch of hippies in a VW van. The guys in the VW van made it out without a scratch, but my dad's Cyclone flipped, and was totaled. Dad's head hit the windshield, and he and his buddies were injured, but still walked away alive. He said that right before the car started to flip, he felt Melody with him, and trusted it was going to be OK.

Five years later, my dad met my mom at college, and for him it was love at first sight. For her - well, she had to be won over, lol! They had very little in common, but shared a particular sensitivity to the spirit world, and also found out early on that they had shared the same reoccurring dreams for most of their lives (I'll probably write a post about that at some point in the future).

It was pretty evident early on in their relationship that they were going to get married, and my dad asked my mom to come home with him to meet the family. During their trip, he took her to the family's upholstery shop, which at that time was housed in a two-story building. The shop was downstairs, and upstairs on the second floor was a collection of used furniture, old furniture that no one wanted or that people hadn't been able to pay for, and all of the furniture that was waiting to be reupholstered. I used to go up there sometimes when I was a kid, and it was a very large, open space, very dusty and eerie, with just a few light bulbs hanging here and there from the ceiling. It didn't exactly give me the creeps, but it wasn't a bright and cheery space. Anyway, on my mom's first trip to visit my dad's hometown, he took her up to the second floor of the shop, to show her all of the furniture.

While they're walking around, her attention keeps being pulled to one particular corner. Finally, she turns to my dad and says, "What happened in that corner?" He realized that the corner she was talking about was where a trunk containing all of Melody's toys and clothes had been stored since she died, but didn't tell my mom that. He just took her over to the corner to see what would happen, and stood back. My mom has since told me that she felt an irresistible pull towards the trunk, like she knew if she opened it, she'd find the thing that brought her the most joy. She still didn't know that it belonged to a little dead girl, so when she opened the trunk up to find tiny dresses and play jewelry, she was a little shocked. But she also really wanted something in the bottom of the box. There was a pull to get to the bottom, to a thing she just knew she had to have. She kept digging down, past layers of things, to the very bottom, where she found what she was looking for (without having any clue of what she'd find) - Raggedy Andy. Behind her, my dad wasn't exactly shocked (he'd never admit it, if he was), but afterwards he explained to my mom the significance of that doll, and how it had been Melody's favorite. My mom took it as a sign that Melody approved of her being with dad, and they were married about six months later.

I was born five years after my parents got married, and Melody was around for much of my young life. I am also somewhat sensitive, but it seems to me that I was more in tune when I was younger, and I've grown out of it for the most part. In many ways, I think that being anxious and overwhelmed made me put up a lot of barriers, and I'm happy to keep them up to avoid feeling ill. But I blame that on the two ghosts that were in my house when I was a kid. For now, I'll stick with Melody, who it appears was stuck to me for much of my childhood.

For my parents' early marriage, they lived in a cottage that had been my grandparent's little vacation home, about 45 minutes away from my dad's (and my) hometown. It was a place where Melody had spent quite a lot of time in her short life, where the little purple flowers that she'd planted still grew in the front garden. From time to time after my parents got married, my mom swore she could sometimes feel a little girl's presence in the house, or hear little footsteps running down the hall. She's unflappable, my mom, so this all seemed sweet and cozy to her. After they got pregnant with me, they didn't think they could live in such a tiny home anymore, and also wanted to be closer to the hospital in case of medical emergencies, so they began building a house that would be finished around the time I turned three. My earliest memories are all from the cottage, and one of them is of playing with a little blond girl that seemed to be my good friend. I've asked my mom if there were any other children nearby, and apparently everyone else in the neighborhood was my grandparents' age and older. I was the only child, and that my mom was aware of, I was only ever playing by myself, because she wasn't the type of mom to arrange play dates.

When I was born, all of the family gave me toys. I was the first grandchild, and the first girl in the family after Melody (my grandparents had gone on to have two more boys after Melody's passing). I was spoiled rotten, and it helped in the healing process, I think. My grandfather and I were particularly close. He was the very best grandfather imaginable, and now that I'm grown, I can see the little ways that he took care of me with such sweetness and care. Anyway, out of all of the toys, my very favorite was Raggedy Andy. I had both Ann and Andy, but Ann sat on the bookshelf, and Andy went everywhere with me. Years later, Ann looked basically brand new, and Andy lived up to his raggedy name. I didn't find out about Melody's love for Andy until I was much older, and for that I'm grateful to my parents. I think that they were interested in my preference, but wanted to leave it up to me instead of blaming ghostly interference.

Not long after we had finally moved over into the new house, one afternoon while I was napping, Mom was outside doing yard work in the patch of lawn just under my window (coincidentally where my dad had replanted those little purple flowers that originally grew at the cottage). She heard giggling coming from my room, but it wasn't my voice. It was an older girl. Mom has said that she took this to be a good sign, that Melody had moved with us and was watching over me.

The older I got, the more creeped out I started to get in the new house. Part of it was probably just the way my physical symptoms of sensitivity changed as I aged (for me, walking into a haunted place without shielding feels like the first moments of a panic attack - tightness in my chest, paired with a weird brain fuzz). My mom attracts things to her, as well, so the older I get, the more I wonder if she was accidentally bringing people home with her. She also collects dolls, so we had all those little spirit boxes just sitting around, being creepy. Also, there was Major Marsh, our other ghost, invited in by my dad. I eventually got the courage to ask "everyone" in the house that I couldn't see to please leave me alone unless requested, which did help somewhat. But after that, I never interacted with Melody again. As far as I'm concerned, my aunt is the most polite member of my family.

My dad did, though. A couple of years ago, he lost a leg due to complications from previously undetected Diabetes. He dropped a box on his foot, and because he'd lost some feeling and didn't realize it, the cut became infected and he didn't notice until it was too late. The infection spread rapidly, there were further complications, and there was actually some concern that he might not live. While he was in the hospital, Melody came and smiled at him. He said he knew he'd be OK after that.

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The following comments are submitted by users of this site and are not official positions by yourghoststories.com. Please read our guidelines and the previous posts before posting. The author, twilighttyger, has the following expectation about your feedback: I will read the comments but I won't participate in the discussion.

twilighttyger (3 stories) (12 posts)
+1
4 months ago (2017-07-23)
Manafon1 - Thank you! It's so weird trying to explain being both skeptical and a believer, and how that works. It also tends to fluctuate. Some days I'm like "yes, this is obviously a sign of an afterlife!" and others I "know" that there are no ghosts, and I'm just not smart enough to know the scientific explanation for seemingly paranormal events. I do think that in the end, there will be logical explanations for everything, and it may change the way we interpret death and time and the redistribution of energy. But we're still in the preliminary stages of gathering evidence, as a society. So for now, we can only try to differentiate between a house settling and an actual bump in the night, and be honest to ourselves and others about what has happened.
twilighttyger (3 stories) (12 posts)
+1
4 months ago (2017-07-23)
ScottGrant - re: "syrup," this is written as I speak, so you'd probably hate to hear me blathering on in real life! 😁
Also, I have far more respect than to place any part of a fictional piece here, and I guess that's why I'm tired of fielding the negativity. I've been reading this site faithfully for a little over two years now, and until I wrote here, this was one of my favorite sites. For me, this is a place to find some validation - it's not just spooky tales, it's spiritually important. Yeah, you have to sort through the obvious outrageous bs, but there are some really good little accounts on here. IMO, only a truly crappy human being (I'll stop short at "soulless," but that's really what I'm thinking) would lie about stuff like that in a place where people are coming for answers.
ScottGrant (1 stories) (17 posts)
+1
4 months ago (2017-07-22)
Manafon1

I am from Michigan but spent a lot of time in North Carolina where I met my first wife. I can see how this tragic story of Melody written in antebellum style could be perceived as a verbose and flowery story laced with irony. I am not a psychologist by any stretch but I know from my first wife that people from the south seem vulnerable to denial based on self sacrifice as though it is a part of their destiny. The loss of Melody created such a vacuum in Twilighttyger's family that her father in particular was distraught and disabled to the point that he couldn't leave his room. I think that the story is real and in spite of the syrup involved in Twilighttyger's writing style her rendering of the story is probably a close outline of how her family reacted to the loss of Melody. The alleged encounter was embellished quite a bit which is not unusual when emotion and pain/sadness are in the mix. Twilighttyger if you are an Indie author and are just trying to get some free encouragement for a book of the month you should do two things: get a competent editor to proof your work and then have Kirkus review your book, this place is for REAL ghost stories. If yours is in fact real, God speed. If not karma will not be kind to manipulators.

ScottGrant
Miracles51031 (36 stories) (4802 posts) mod
+2
4 months ago (2017-07-21)
twilighttyger and Manafon - my youngest brother was 4 and could get on a 10 speed. He would put his legs on the pedals and hold onto the bar. If someone else was on it, my brother would pedal it. As long as it was propped against something, he could get on the seat and balance it.

If Melody had been doing something like that, she would technically have been on the bicycle. Just a thought.
Manafon1 (5 stories) (490 posts)
+1
4 months ago (2017-07-21)
twilighttyger--Thanks for answering all the questions that were thrown your way. They go a long way to clarifying points that weren't clear. Your explanations have been straightforward and honest. You wrote in your reply to lady-glow, "Even though I've shared the things I've experienced here, and I do believe in ghosts, I still remain highly skeptical of anyone's ability to declare with certainty what they are, where they come from, what they're doing, what the differences are etc."

You then add that you have mixed feelings whether Melody was who this ghost was at all. I guess that was my issue with your narratives when I first read them. That everything was being stated with such seeming certainty. By clarifying that you have uncertainty about all the various events your family has experienced makes all the difference.

Adding your mixed feelings about paranormal events is really helpful in providing a clearer picture for YGS members reading your accounts. I can now see your three accounts in a much less "story-like" light and they now ring of truth. That's one of the reasons that answering questions can stop off base speculation from ever even starting.

Thank you too for explaining what you know of the circumstances of Melody's tragic passing.
twilighttyger (3 stories) (12 posts)
 
4 months ago (2017-07-21)
Hey Lady-Glow -

I just got the best mental image of a big bucket of fried chicken in an armored box, and got so irritated. Totally get it, lol!

I'll try to answer your questions, but I'm already stumped at the first one, so hopefully this will be good enough. As for my aunt being attached to me, I have no clue. Even though I've shared the things I've experienced here, and I do believe in ghosts, I still remain highly skeptical of anyone's ability to declare with certainty what they are, where they come from, what they're doing, what the differences are, etc. I just don't believe at this point that there's any way to know what Melody might have been doing here (or on that note, even that it was Melody). That being said, my dad has always held to the idea that we all have three spirit guides who watch over us from beyond, and come to hang out and offer support when they're needed. When I got a little older, I used to tell me that she was one of my guides. BUT - maybe he was just telling me that because I was terrified, and he thought it would make me more comfortable. Spoiler alert: it didn't.

I've seen pictures of Melody, but my memory of the little girl I played with is more of an impression, very fuzzy. On a side note, my grandmother has a portrait that was painted of Melody, and it's one of the creepiest things ever. Someone painted it after her death, and it's of moderate skill, so there's just something missing in the eyes. It hangs in the dining room of my grandmother's house, and I used to run by it with my eyes closed every time I had to go to the bathroom *shudder*

I would never have guessed that English isn't your first language! And from how both of my parents have experienced the interaction with the trunk, yes, I do think that she was attached to her belongings in some way. A creepier alternative might be that Melody was never with us at all, but my dad was holding on so tightly to her memory that he manifested something. Or maybe someone or something was posing as Melody. We could all throw out theories, and we'll all be equally right, since there's no way to prove very much about the paranormal. I try to maintain a healthy skepticism, since I do find value in scientific proof. But my own theories of what happens next are so scattered, it's hard to settle on any one idea. I mean, I hope that when we die, it's just over and there's nothing else. Yet I have seen enough to imply that this isn't true. But damn, I hope to not have to either be a ghost OR do some crappy "singing in the heavenly choir" thing for eternity...man, I've really gotten off-topic, lol.

Re: the building, yes, there was paranormal activity there, but to my knowledge, there are no other stories of Melody. It was the oldest building in town (built around the turn of the century) and had been through a few different incarnations, including being used as a movie theater and banquet space. My dad told me a story once that one of his upholsterers had experienced, of seeing a man in a fedora walking up the back stairs in the employees-only area (the back stairs led up to the second story, where the furniture and trunk were). The upholsterer ran over to ask the man politely to exit the area, and realized that the fedora-wearing gentleman only existed from the waist up. Apparently, my dad was away from the shop on a delivery, and when he got back, the upholsterer was sitting outside, waiting for him. Never would go back in alone, and I don't blame him one bit!

Re: my mom attracting things, she doesn't care that much. She has very little interest in the paranormal, or at least expresses very little interest. When she talks about the weird stuff that happens to her, it's with the same enthusiasm you'd use to tell people about the last time you went grocery shopping. So that I know of, there has never been an attempt to converse (other than one time that we used a Quija board together in the same building I was just talking about, and that was mildly creepy). And she doesn't seem interested in honing the ability. She tends to just ignore most things, or treat them as just mildly interesting. It's one of the biggest reasons that I'm particularly creeped out by her doll collection. I feel like she could bring home a thing of true evil and be able to completely ignore any warning signs until it's far too late.

When I was little, my dad explained to me that my mother was a caller, and we were listeners. At the time, he was explaining it using an analogy of a radio tower to help me understand, and it was tailored for a little kid, so it's very rudimentary. But as I get older, it still generally fits in with everything else I've read and watched on psychic activity and communication with the paranormal. He explained that she was a radio tower, emitting a signal that helped people find her and get to her. But she was only built to give out a signal, not to receive/interpret other signals. On the other hand, he and I could hear the other signals, but we didn't broadcast our own as strongly. As a kid, it made perfect sense. Now, I wonder if my mom is so cold/unreadable on this because she turned a part of herself off at some point, to avoid pain, interaction, conversation, whatever. As for me, I have a lot of trouble grounding and shielding against live people and emotional energy, but luckily, as I've gotten older, my paranormal experiences have seriously dwindled. I am not upset about that at all, though I do sometimes wonder if my anxiety problems are actually a manifestation of being poked or prodded from the other side, and refusing to listen. You've given me some interesting insights here. I think I need to talk with my parents about these things again soon.

Re: Major Marsh and Melody. I wouldn't begin to know how to answer this, but anything I said would be mere conjecture. Perhaps they were having tea on the spirit plane; that's a sweet thought. From what I've heard about the living Major Marsh, he was a very nice man who doted on his grandchildren. Hopefully if they can interact, he's taken Melody under his wing. They were distant cousins, after all. I don't have any information that could place either of them in each other's haunted happenings, though.

Thank you about Matthew. We did have some good times, as rotten as he was.

I appreciate your insightful questions. You've definitely given me some things to think about, and also made me remember a few little stories that might be fun to share here at some point. Thanks!
twilighttyger (3 stories) (12 posts)
+2
4 months ago (2017-07-21)
Hey Manafon1! This entire thing happened in 1963, almost 20 years before I was born, so I only know what I've been told, along with some things that I saw as a child. For instance, I know that her bike still had training wheels on, because it was still sitting in my grandparents' garage, like a creepy little shrine, when I was young. I honestly don't know if she was able to ride my dad's bicycle around, or if she was just able to mess around on it and roll it around by pushing, etc. But she was on his bicycle when she died, and he still blames himself for that.

The garage had been a barn around the turn of the 20th century, and my grandparents had turned it into their garage when they renovated their house. It wasn't (and isn't - it's still standing) a modern garage with an automatic door - just a wide enough opening for a car to be driven through and parked under cover. The beam that fell was the top of the doorway (lintel might be the right term? I'm not sure). I have no clue about other damage to the building, but from the way my dad talks about it, it wasn't that serious of a storm at all. He's always acted like it was a freak accident. The town floods at high tide, and we've seen many, many tropical storms and hurricanes, so this was something that everyone would have been prepared for. But you can't always predict structural failure.

Now that I'm thinking about this, it says a lot about the way my grandmother and father regarded my grandfather. There were always subtle jibes about not being detail oriented. I wonder if that was them still blaming him for not noticing that this beam might fall off of the garage? It's crazy how these things just live on, ghosts or no...
AugustaM (2 stories) (398 posts)
+1
4 months ago (2017-07-19)
I don't get the feeling in my gut that this is completely fictional. It seems unusual but not overwhelmingly far fetched to me.

As for how Melody 'rode' the bike - I doubt she actually did. This sounds like one of those horrible tragedies that happen in the blink of an eye. My assumption was she was just climbing on it, maybe had just managed to get her legs on either side of the bar (assuming a man's bike here) when disaster struck. Likely no one really knew precisely what happened or what she was doing - all they could do was look at what they found and draw conclusions in the midst of all that grief and horror.

As for the trunk in the attic. I buy that Melody's things radiated a trace of her energy. Perhaps it is a phenomenon similar to a residual haunting by that point - think of all the love and energy kids put into the items they love the most - perhaps some of that gets somehow stored for a time.
L_Melb (198 posts)
+1
4 months ago (2017-07-18)
Regarding the bike, I was more curious regarding the seat placement.
Wouldn't it have been too high for a girl of that age and would she have known how to adjust it?
I know I would probably have tried to ride it at that age and being bent on bike riding but don't think I would have had much luck 😕
lady-glow (8 stories) (1567 posts)
 
4 months ago (2017-07-18)
Twilighttyger: first of all, I apologize for reacting with such passion at your choice of not participating in the discussion of your experiences. The truth is, after reading such very well written stories I felt is as someone had put my favorite food inside an armored glass box with little holes for me to enjoy the delicious aromas, but secured with several heavy locks so I couldn't even touch it!

I'm glad you decided to answer our queries and, the reason why it took me this long to reply is because I find the portability and convenience of my phone at disadvantage when compared to the nice keyboard of my PC... I know, I'm still standing with one of my feet on the twentieth century!

The questions I have are the following:

You suggest that your father's little sister was attached to you and even both of you used to play together. By this, do you mean she never crossed over and was unaware of her death, or did she use to come more like a spirit protector that would move at whim between two dimensions?
I know you were too young and might not remember but, did you ever have a chance to compare a picture of your auntie with the memory of your little "imaginary" friend?

About the first time your mother's first visit to the upholstery shop:

"While they're walking around, her attention keeps being pulled to one particular corner. Finally, she turns to my dad and says, "What happened in that corner?" He realized that the corner she was talking about was where a trunk containing all of Melody's toys and clothes had been stored since she died, but didn't tell my mom that. He just took her over to the corner to see what would happen, and stood back. My mom has since told me that she felt an irresistible pull towards the trunk, like she knew if she opened it, she'd find the thing that brought her the most joy. She still didn't know that it belonged to a little dead girl, so when she opened the trunk up to find tiny dresses and play jewelry, she was a little shocked. But she also really wanted something in the bottom of the box. There was a pull to get to the bottom, to a thing she just knew she had to have. She kept digging down, past layers of things, to the very bottom, where she found what she was looking for (without having any clue of what she'd find) - Raggedy Andy. Behind her, my dad wasn't exactly shocked (he'd never admit it, if he was), but afterwards he explained to my mom the significance of that doll..."

You have previously established that both your parents "shared a particular sensitivity to the spirit world".

I'm having some difficulty wording this (I bet by now you'd have noticed that English is not my first language) but, since Melody's death didn't happen in that building, would this mean that the energy emanating from the trunk somehow affected the surrounding space? Do you know if Melody was attached to her belongings too? Do your father and/or your Grandfather and the employees working in the shop ever experience anything suggesting the presence of Melody in the building?

"...My mom attracts things to her, as well, so the older I get, the more I wonder if she was accidentally bringing people home with her..."

Is your mother aware when 'something' has followed her? Is she able to control this ability and/or communicate with them?

When Major Marsh moved into your family house, did he established any kind of interaction with Melody?

I'm sorry to hear about Matthew, I hope you enjoyed his company for a long time and have many fond memories of him.

I'll appreciate your feedback and, once again, I'm glad you decided to become an active member of this site.

Thanks for sharing.
Miracles51031 (36 stories) (4802 posts) mod
 
4 months ago (2017-07-18)
Manafon - I can give you a personal experience explanation for this, but I will wait on twilighttyger's response.
Manafon1 (5 stories) (490 posts)
+1
4 months ago (2017-07-18)
Twilighttyger--There is a very key point that needs clarification in this narrative. You write that Melody, "went out to the garage to ride her little bicycle - she was almost ready for the training wheels to be taken off. But since her bicycle had been put up because of the storm, she got on my dad's big bicycle, instead."

Since she was "almost ready" for the training wheels to be taken off how was she able to get up on your dad's bike? Was she riding it inside the garage? Did the beam that fell come from inside or outside the garage? I grew up on the coast of South Carolina and lived through several tropical storms and a couple of hurricanes. If a beam was to fall from a storm inside the garage one would assume there was damage outside as well. Was there?

It's little details like these that make follow-up clarification helpful. I realize since you weren't there when this particular incident occurred you might not know but there are some discrepancies that give an impartial reader pause.
twilighttyger (3 stories) (12 posts)
+1
4 months ago (2017-07-18)
Hey y'all - I've already had a small conversation with Manafon1 over on my third post, so hello again 😁

Lady-Glow - I don't recall seeing a follow up comment from you on the other post, but I won't make any assumptions re: snark, since I can see it's how people tend to react at first in comments here. It's hurtful, at best, but I've read a lot of crazy stories on here that I wouldn't believe for a second, so I understand. Just going to say hello, I'm a real person, and if I were to write a fictional account, I'd hope it was more interesting (fantastic) than anything I've written here.

J_B_P_D - That's very kind of you, thank you.
Manafon1 (5 stories) (490 posts)
 
4 months ago (2017-07-15)
Lady-glow--Yes! I do believe the latter definition of "fantastic" is spot on. Your examples of the type of comments the OP is probably expecting gave me a good laugh--"Bravo, you are the next Shakespeare!" HaaHaa!

If our needling is getting under your skin twilighttyger, please participate in the ongoing discussion and clear the air. I tried to give you a karma point lady-glow but my allotted quota for you is temporarily maxed out. I would be happy to give you one twilighttyger if you can join in and put doubt, speculation and general murmurings to a rest 😁.
lady-glow (8 stories) (1567 posts)
+3
4 months ago (2017-07-15)
Manafon1: very well said, though I have to admit J_B_P_D has a point at saying this is fantastic, considering that:

Fantastic
The adjective fantastic has two meanings - extraordinarily brilliant or ludicrously far-fetched.

From: https://www.vocabulary.com/dictionary/fantastic

I don't think you sound cynical at all, the truth is, I imagine twilighttyger expects only comments like: "Oh, you're great!", "Your story is the best!", "I loooooooove you!", "Bravo, you are the next Shakespeare!", and so on.😕

Twilighttyger: only your participation can put an end to our wild speculations. 😉
Manafon1 (5 stories) (490 posts)
+3
4 months ago (2017-07-15)
I think in the case of this account and twilighttyger's other published story, Major Marsh, we have a writer trying out their skills. To put it simply, if these rather detailed accounts indeed occurred there would be absolutely no reason the OP wouldn't want to participate. It seems the OP wants feedback to gauge what grabs the reader and is most effective.

There is just something a little too manufactured in these narratives. J_B_P_D commented that they didn't want the story to end and that the OP should be a writer. When an account is so tidily structured that it seems created, the chances are good that the OP is indeed trying to be a writer as opposed to merely detailing paranormal events. Paranormal experiences aren't usually tied together so neatly (as presented in these two stories) over so many years while also involving multiple people in such a cinematic manner.

I know this sounds cynical but the combination of the OP not wanting to participate and the story-like nature of these narratives leaves a lot of doubt in my mind. Maybe this comment will help get the OP to join in. I would be really happy to write that I was wrong. I just get a weird feeling about these pieces.
J_B_P_D (3 posts)
 
4 months ago (2017-07-15)
Wow! This is fantastic. I didn't want it to end. You should be a writer.

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