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Schizophrenia Or Incubus?

 

I am 18 years old and have an incubus, or at least I believe I do, and I do not know what to. His name is Rhyder. He has been with me ever since a young age. Back then he was trying to hurt/kill me by sitting on my chest and I couldn't breathe; in a way I had to fight him. For a while he disappeared until I was 16. That's when everything changed.

I started to take an interest in guys but it's like every time I found an interest in someone they were either taken for or just not interested. I have heard that incubi can push away competition so to speak. I kind of felt like that's what was happening to me and I hated it.

I started feeling him touch me in various places, I saw mini scratches on my finger tips, my energy felt like it had been drained, and I had possible out of body experiences. Whenever he was around he would knock or when I was sad he would come around and touch me.

In a sense, I feel like I developed my own case of Stockholm syndrome. I didn't know what to do and I couldn't make Rhyder leave. Everyday from the sun up to sun down he would touch me sexually. I "loved" Rhyder ever so much but I let my religion come between us and then it was nothing but a war to get him to leave me alone, but he has not.

When I started telling people about him, they either said I had a mild form of schizophrenia (that didn't make the situation better) or that I need to do a ritual. Even one of my best guy friends said I have schizophrenia; he said that mostly because he doesn't believe in magic. He's a logical kind of guy, but what if he is right?

Actually, there were certain times when it did seem like he was in my head and there were small clues. I had spells cast to make him go away and I prayed to the angels to help get rid of my "schizophrenia" and it worked for a while. However Rhyder still came back.

So which one is it? I really hope this is all in my head. I would rather be crazy than have a legit demon hurting me in my everyday life. He doesn't seem like he wants to hurt me. However, I have seen him get angry so I'm not willing to take that chance; not if I don't have to.

To be honest I'm scared of him if he is real. In my upbringing, demons are not to be trusted and are to be cursed by uttering the name of Jesus Christ. I have treated him poorly by ignoring him and basically starving him of my energy but Rhyder still won't leave. In the end the romance won't blind me from the truth: this whole thing is not healthy for me or him.

At least if the problems were in my mentality they can be fixed, but if this is an actual demon then that is not good. I can't just live with someone I can't see that could potentially hurt me. What's worst is that I asked a fellow Christian what I should do and they told me to go to a hospital and get help. So what do you guys think? Am I crazy or do I have an unauthorized visitor?

Oh and just for the record we have held conversations mentally and he has brought other incubi into my house which sucked. However I did manage to make him tell them to leave. Any advice is welcome and you guys are free to comment but no hurtful sayings!

Thank you so much for reading!

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The following comments are submitted by users of this site and are not official positions by yourghoststories.com. Please read our guidelines and the previous posts before posting. The author, ForbiddenRose, has the following expectation about your feedback: I will participate in the discussion and I need help with what I have experienced.

Mary_86 (1 posts)
 
3 weeks ago (2017-11-27)
Is it still bothering you upto this day? I thought it was just me who had these type of ordeal. You have to resist it, fight it.
Ask help from God, pray to him. I'm a Christian, & based from my experience. Only God can help you at times like these, but at the same time u have to toughen urself. Do not let it win over you.
Lainey23 (3 posts)
-3
2 months ago (2017-10-14)
I had to make an account just to respond to you. I'm literally going through what you are going through. I honestly feel like I'm going crazy but I know it's a Incubus/Spirit husband. He's shown himself to me. I've felt him inside me. I know he's real. I just want you to know your not alone, he also talks to me in my thoughts which I didn't know they could do. But I've also heard him like if I was talking to anyone else. I can't explain it. Last night he came to me. We did it several times and he's aggressive. It gets worse with time. Just be safe. I've also prayed and got Deliverance, he still attacked me. He hit me in my face like punches, it's scary how real it is. I believe one day God will set me free. Until then I'm stuck.
roylynx (22 stories) (591 posts)
 
3 months ago (2017-09-05)
That's good to hear ForbiddenRose!
Many things are still not too smooth... But anyhow, you got help and we are all glad
So case closed? Well done! Cheer-up!

E.Lynx
ForbiddenRose (1 stories) (24 posts)
+2
3 months ago (2017-09-05)
Good news! I went to a counseling session and got help! They gave me tips on how to protect myself with the angels! I feel better already. ❤ ❤
lady-glow (8 stories) (1624 posts)
+1
3 months ago (2017-09-04)
You could start by asking if the college offers any counseling in campus.
lady-glow (8 stories) (1624 posts)
+1
3 months ago (2017-09-04)
Seriously, do not keep on postponing a visit to a specialist on the field of mental illness to discard any underlying healt issues. That's the advice given to you from the beginning.

Besides, what guarantee do you have about those "mediums" and "psychics" advice not being a hoax? 🤔

Always look for a logic, scientific and professional explanation before assuming anything to be paranormal.
ForbiddenRose (1 stories) (24 posts)
+1
3 months ago (2017-09-04)
[at] Melda thank you for not judging me and you too [at] Biblio. All I wanted to was figure out what has been going on in my life. I never intended for anything like the events I have stated to happen. All I want is to forget anything that has to do with this thing.
ForbiddenRose (1 stories) (24 posts)
 
3 months ago (2017-09-04)
Also the reason I put entity in quotation marks is to let everyone know that I'm using that term lightly. It could be in my head. It could also be real. I won't know until I see a priest soon.
ForbiddenRose (1 stories) (24 posts)
 
3 months ago (2017-09-04)
[at] ladyglow I'm not playing games. I am serious. I said I wouldn't need anymore help but people had some more advice for me so I kept interacting. If you think I'm playing games than feel free to mock me like the others. Everyone has. What point would I have to play games? Even I know that's trivial! 😭
roylynx (22 stories) (591 posts)
+1
3 months ago (2017-09-04)
A big "WOW" for all these...
One thing, if the OP is into some kind of witchcraft and tribal works... These all is so "real", she could have stop at the point "still turnable" but had turned the wrong direction perhaps, get it? Well, here we go; it is going to be a long drive...

Do you really know what you are doing though?! Well, there are lots of ways to communicate with spirits, every culture, every country, everyone have their own "ways" to do so. The biggest mistake that anyone can make is that they over believed in their selves which leaded them to the point of no re-turn. You shall know what I mean right, ForbiddenRose?

E.Lynx
Melda (9 stories) (717 posts)
+2
3 months ago (2017-09-04)
I don't think we should judge this young lady too harshly. I believe that she has some serious problems which need to be sorted. Hopefully she will take heed of the advice that a number of us have proffered. If not, then that is her choice and she must live with the consequences.

Regards, Melda
lady-glow (8 stories) (1624 posts)
+3
3 months ago (2017-09-04)
"...I have been thinking about is how this whole situation came to be:how the "entity" got here in the first place. I have this feeling that he manifested due to my longing for a boyfriend. This was back when I was a preteen going on teenager and a lot of hormonal changes went through me. Could he have appeared because of that?"

ForbiddenRose: the fact that you use quotation marks to define this "entity" is very revealing and, in a way, your admission to the nature of Rhyder... He is just the product of your IMAGINATION and now you are spinning a tall tale that is getting worse and harder to believe after each and every one of your comments.

In case you are not aware of it, let me remind you that this site is for REAL ghost stories and there's no point in coming here to add more "information" on the "development" of your "experience" (notice the irony) if your only purpose is getting some kind of attention.

I'll never be able to word my ideas in the same organized and deep way as Biblio does and I apologize for my bluntness but, I'm not ready nor agree to keep on playing your game.
After all, you said it clearly in one of your comments:

"... Thanks for everything and if you guys still comment I will reply. Thanks again! ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤
ForbiddenRose (1 stories) (24 posts)
 
3 months ago (2017-09-04)
There is also something else I would like to point out:I am not on drugs. Lol. Just to clarify. I'm not depressed nor have I had any drug a day in my life unless it was actually prescribed to me and even then I never abused them. 😊 but something I have been thinking about is how this whole situation came to be:how the "entity" got here in the first place. I have this feeling that he manifested due to my longing for a boyfriend. This was back when I was a preteen going on teenager and a lot of hormonal changes went through me. Could he have appeared because of that? 😨
ForbiddenRose (1 stories) (24 posts)
+1
3 months ago (2017-09-04)
[at] Biblio what I meant to say was I used to purchase these spirit items a long time ago. Lol. I'm not currently buying them. And as for trying a pastor I will have to find a means of transportation as I am in a new location and I do not know my way around yet.
Bibliothecarius (5 stories) (745 posts)
+4
3 months ago (2017-09-04)
ForbiddenRose:

Umm... I rarely have trouble deciding where to begin.

First, while to do seem to be looking for answers, you're reaching out for every potential explanation *almost* simultaneously. Consulting with a psychic who provides you with aggrandizing platitudes that you are "his twin flame and I was once his queen in my past life" is of dubious value, so I was pleased to note that you're "not really big on the past life thing so I don't really buy into it." Taking an objective, skeptical view is a very important factor, in that you won't believe everything that people say to you. You have tried to follow Melda's advice, which is great. You also discussed with Anno_Domini that you know a minister who deals with demons, yet I have not seen you follow up Anno's suggestion that "You might want to start with the pastor that you know first. Will be praying for you." If this issue is *not* a psychological disorder, then you really need to stop this entity from hijacking your dreams, draining your energy, and abusing you in a physical manner.

Then, as I see that you've made some progress toward limiting the interactions, you drop this little bombshell: "I have purchased jewelry with spirits infused within them."

**SERIOUSLY?**

Why would you do that? What kind of spirits, exactly, are you dealing with >cough< dealing in >cough< here? Unless I misunderstood your statement, you're describing the process of trapping a sentient essence (human, fae, elemental) within as gem (precious, semi-precious, or prismatic glass). Who is selling you these items? Are these items of jewelry simply available in stores selling Esoterica of the Macabre?

Potential explanations for these items of jewelry that occur to me:
1) Someone is perpetrating a deliberate fraud by placing misleading labelling/signs on the jewelry.
2) The salesperson or the store owner is embellishing a narrative to raise the price of the merchandise by claiming to pour a little bit of his/her soul into the item.
3) The salesperson or the jeweler sincerely believes that he or she has safely inserted a spiritual entity into the gem for a good reason.
4) The salesperson or the jeweler believes that he or she has captured a spirit that has no objection to being placed in a gemstone.
5) The salesperson or the jeweler believes that he or she has trapped a spirit and has no moral compunction about confining this entity in a gemstone cage.

**If** I understood your comments correctly, only numbers 3 and 4 on my list are close to being morally acceptable actions. If I misunderstood you, please clarify this point.

The other issue which raised some doubts in my mind was that you'd "had spells cast to make him go away and I prayed to the angels to help get rid of my 'schizophrenia' and it worked for a while..." Please remember that I stated in my first response that I was giving you the benefit of the doubt. Now, I'm going to mention a phrase that you probably won't like: "placebo effect." Every attempt to deal with this situation is something that you've gravitated toward as the latest effort to manage the "relationship" with this unseen entity. You admit that you've developed your own "Stockholm syndrome" with regard to your... [well, "owner" seems rude, but it has the benefit of being more accurate than the other terms that spring to mind]...problem. Every time you try something new, you either don't like it immediately (as with the psychic), or you feel that it is working for a short time, then the problem resurfaces. This roller-coaster of "Hey, it's working 😊... Now it isn't 😢!" is exactly the pattern to expect when your mind is dousing your limbic system with dopamine, which wears off and "crashes" your system because it's not a solution, it's a brief moment of hope convincing you that you're on the right track; because you want it to be the right track, the placebo effect tells you that you're getting better. After the placebo wears off, you're just sad and confused about why it has let you down.

Though you told Rook that "I'm positive I cut off the energy flow. I never see any apparitions of him when I don't send energy," you've proceeded from that certainty into doubt: "However the last time I told him to leave I had a nightmare that he punched me in face and went through some dark portal. I even had a dream last night where I danced for him... Hopefully not willingly." YOU DREAMED HE PUNCHED YOU IN THE FACE. If this is a psychological disorder, this dream would indicate that your subconscious is getting pretty fed-up with the whole thing; on the other hand, if this is a spiritual problem, HE PUNCHED YOU IN THE FACE. That's the abusive relationship and co-dependency I was warning you about when I left my first message because I was concerned for your wellbeing. Subsequent to your owner's violence and his abandoning you to suffer, he returned to consume the spirit-energy from your jewelry, then forced you to dance for his amusement. Do you remember who I said had the power in the relationship? And why he had it? Here's the most important thing I can recommend while you are sorting yourself out: DO NOT co-operate with his abuse. Bullies win when no-one resists their intimidation; dictators rule when the resistant population is silent; you cannot be a whole person while someone else (demon, ghost, psychological projection of unresolved developmental crises, whatever) is draining your energy by laying siege to your mind.

Do you see how completely screwed-up the sequence of events you have described is? Pick any one of the helpful, supporting comments that are intended to help you to help yourself, and then COMMIT TO IT. If it does not reduce the problem within two weeks, then you should consider a course of action that will support your efforts to adhere to your plan... You will not get any better at managing your (mental health / spiritual wellbeing) by jumping from one solution to another, and another, and another. Sure, we are all human beings who need to consult with others for advice, to ask for help, or to admit we need comfort, but your life is your own; you need to take steps to assert yourself: select the best advice you have been given (neither I nor anyone else can tell you which advice it is; it's an instinctive, "gut" response) and make following that advice your goal.

I honestly think you're going to need to speak with a counselor/therapist, but that's only my opinion. You need to do whatever is going to provide you with the best long-term solution to this problem.

Good luck.
-Biblio.
ForbiddenRose (1 stories) (24 posts)
-1
3 months ago (2017-09-02)
I actually asked a psychic why this demon wouldn't leave, if that's what he is. She told me that I am his twin flame and I was once his queen in my past life. I'm not really big on the past life thing so I don't really buy into it. In one dream Rhyder told me that his realm or world depends this relationship. Also one other reason I think he might be a demon is because I have purchased jewelry with spirits infused within them. I saw these spirits within my dreams and the nest thing I know, Rhyder appears and that's all I remember. I never see those spirits again.
ForbiddenRose (1 stories) (24 posts)
-1
3 months ago (2017-09-02)
[at] Melda I have followed your advice and I have been able to control my risque thinking more often than not. However the last time I told him to leave I had a nightmare that he punched me in face and went through some dark portal. I even had a dream last night where I danced for him... Hopefully not willingly. He looked please but I am not. I do not wish to dream this way!
Melda (9 stories) (717 posts)
+1
3 months ago (2017-08-31)
ForbiddenRose - What I meant is that you need to have the correct mindset. I was referring to your remark about letting him back in by doing certain things, such as "risque daydreaming".

I also agree with what Biblio said about calling him Rhyder. If he reappears don't acknowledge him by name, or at all. You can of course tell him to get out of your life and to leave you alone.

Regards, Melda
ForbiddenRose (1 stories) (24 posts)
 
3 months ago (2017-08-31)
[at] Melda thank you! But do you really think it is all in my head? You said "mind" being the operative word.
Melda (9 stories) (717 posts)
 
3 months ago (2017-08-31)
ForbiddenRose - Yes, me again!

For your own sake please do what you have undertaken to do and then put this Rhyder character out of your mind, "mind" being the operative word.

I am sending you good vibes to help you cope with the negativity but I sense the beginning of a change in you, just by the way you are now interacting with the members who are trying to assist you. ❤

Regards, Melda
ForbiddenRose (1 stories) (24 posts)
 
3 months ago (2017-08-31)
[at] Anno and Triska- Thanks for the advice. I'm ready to get rid him once and for all. Whether he is real or not. But once I drive him away, how do I make him stay away? Because when I do certain things I feel like I invite him back such as risque daydreaming.
ForbiddenRose (1 stories) (24 posts)
 
3 months ago (2017-08-31)
[at] Biblio Thank you for the sound advice! You have helped me out. In any case I will try to go to a Catholic church as soon as possible. As for schizophrenia, I don't know where I stand with this. Spirits do cause illness physically and mentally so I will try the church first.
Anno_Domini (2 stories) (87 posts)
 
4 months ago (2017-08-28)
[at] Anno. Thank you so much! But who should I go to? I'm Christian, but I do know a pastor that deals with demons. However there are many Catholic churches here. Should I try one?

ForbiddenRose... Yes. Try the one you know, I'm not referring to any denomination of Christianity in particular. My personal opinion of the Catholic exorcism rituals is that they are very long drawn (because they are ritualistic). You might want to start with the pastor that you know first. Will be praying for you.
Triskaideka (2 stories) (369 posts)
 
4 months ago (2017-08-28)
I've read through the comments, there is a lot of great advice here!

The only other thing that crosses my mind is that most people in their teen years are a) highly imaginative and b) have uhmm... Certain biological needs.

I predict that if OP is to see a priest and/or psychologist and tend to the aforementioned biological needs, this "Rhyder" will disappear.

When I don't tend to myself, my brain tends to invent situations, particularly when I am asleep. It's a blessing and a curse. 😉
Melda (9 stories) (717 posts)
 
4 months ago (2017-08-27)
lady-glow - I really wonder how it works. I have this picture in my mind of an inflatable object (for easy storage). It would be great if it emitted sounds, perhaps like a musical scale, for A -Z and "yes" and "no" with the letters used lighting up. Perhaps particpants sitting around hold hands. If you need a planchette I suppose a squeegee would do 😆

Regards, Melda
lady-glow (8 stories) (1624 posts)
+1
4 months ago (2017-08-27)
Melda: I wonder if the planchette of a squeejy board makes squeaky sounds when pointing at the right letter or on the board, if instead of a normal planchette, this particular board requires the use of a squeegee. 😒
valkricry (39 stories) (2772 posts) mod
+2
4 months ago (2017-08-27)
What happened to AmbitiousSlave's post? I deleted it. That kind of language will NOT float, no matter how cleverly you try to cover your tracks. Some of us DO understand urban slang and txt talk. Although we do allow a certain amount of txt talk in comments, it's generally frowned upon.
Melda, I'm leaving your post stand, because you are innocent of knowing what you typed, I think. Just for the record DAFUQ means the same as "WTF". Other acronyms used in the message meant worse things, so you might want to avoid using them.
lady-glow (8 stories) (1624 posts)
+1
4 months ago (2017-08-27)
AmbitiousSlave: if you want "To be Heard", first you have to learn to talk. 😉
Melda (9 stories) (717 posts)
+3
4 months ago (2017-08-27)
AmbitiousSlave - What do you charge for a copy of your dictionary and a squeejy board? Would like one of each please. An Asiq might be out of my price range so I think perhaps you should hang dafuq onto that.

Regards, Melda
Bibliothecarius (5 stories) (745 posts)
+2
4 months ago (2017-08-26)
Greetings, ForbiddenRose.

You have received sound advice on mental health and on spiritual help from multiple YGSers, so there is no need for me to add anything on that point. I'm going to state that I have some reservations about your narrative, but the rest of this response will presume that you have told the truth in your original submission and in your responses to everyone else. [Call it my giving you the "benefit of the doubt."]

There is an issue that has been bothering me as I read through this narrative and the subsequent discussion. You informed Melda that "Rhyder is the name I gave him. I asked for his real name before but he never told me." Look in your Bible for the exorcisms Jesus performed; he specifically asks the name of the unclean spirit (e.g.: "Legion") in order to cast it/them out. When "Rhyder" withholds information from you, he has the power in the relationship.

Your energy-draining sexual predator has avoided telling you who he/it is, so you gave him a name. **If** this is not a symptom of schizophrenia, you've opened yourself up to a haunting entity and strengthened the connection by giving him/it a nickname you like, put parameters on the relationship (i.e.: you can't have al your friends here in my house), withheld permission for him/it to take your energy when he's upset you, and you've not told everyone in your home about him. I am not going to suggest this spirit is "demonic" or "devilish," but it certainly fits the description of an unhealthy, codependent relationship I will state that I think his bringing **other** spirits to your home to feed on your energy/emotions was horrible. Even in a best-case scenario, his/its behavior was sketchy because the clear implication is that you had enough energy to feed his friends, too. You are an individual, not a buffet-table of edible energies.

Please do follow the sound advice everyone has provided, but ask yourself what you are getting out the relationship. Is this a healthy behavior pattern, or is it more like an addiction?

Best,
Biblio.

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