For as long as I can remember I've been alone, as a young girl I was always bullied and abused by my brother. He would always hit me and people would always treat me bad at school and my mom didn't bother to see what was wrong. I'm not in school anymore and I am in my mid 20's. Every night as a child and teen I would cry myself to bed and I would feel very depressed and suicidal seeing that no one cared about the harm that was happening to me. With that said I have always felt a presence be near me ever since all the bullying and attacks started to happen since I was six.
As a smaller child I used to live in a haunted apartment, I would see many ghost including a man that was killed in the building and lived where we lived. At the time my mom always claimed I would scream because I saw clowns in my closet. Ever since I can remember the paranormal has always fallowed me especially throughout the upcoming years. I know I've always saw ghost and shadows all these years until now.
Well right now I don't have many friends and I've never really had many friends maybe just 2 actual friends, so I've always felt really alone and depressed. For some reason though most of the time when I am feeling this way I always feel cold chills everywhere and then I start to feel a sudden warmth. This happens almost all the time I'm going through this. Or I'll be out somewhere and I will see someone and I would wish I had more friends and then I would get a deep gut feeling that tells me to talk to them following with chills. Example; one day I was out eating at a taco place and I see this girl and a voice in my head tells me that me and her will be friends. It wasn't wrong, later on I was introduced to her and we became friends. This tends to happen a lot.
Another example I haven't had good luck with getting a boyfriend and don't get me wrong I have dated but it's been a year and a half or 2 years. So where I work at in a contact center we got some new people one is a guy my age and has long hair, is chubby not fat, and is not too short but not tall and wears glasses just like me and turns out we have many things in common. (from what I saw).
Well I knew nothing about this person not a darn thing and I had no clue what his name was or what it could be. At work we get emails delivered to us on outlook and for our department I can see a list of names, so I was looking through all the names and I saw one that got my heart racing. I saw the name Max Jacobo and then again I got that feeling in the pit of my stomach telling me that it was his name, I looked it up and indeed it was him, and we have more things in common then I'd like to admit. Now every time I walk by him I have a strong feeling and I feel like he also looks at me because I caught him.
The point is even though I'm so alone I don't feel as if I am I always feel as if there is a presence who is helping me. At the end of the day when I'm ready to call it a night I always feel like I'm being watched like I'm never alone. I have even felt like I have received warm hugs in couple of occasions. This always happens when my emotions are the strongest.
How do I know if I'm truly alone? I don't have good communications with my family but I heavily feel a presence that follows me everywhere. I cannot explain this phenomenon. Anything I need help with it always feels like I get a helping hand as in emotional help. When I'm feeling down or I think I'm getting sick random things always appear in all kinds of places. Like random quotes on my internet browser as inspirational ones. Or on several accessions my phone or computer will act up and then it will just play the perfect song depending on how I'm feeling that day. Or recently I bought a car from my aunt and I had received an important letter in the mail regarding my registration and I thought I didn't need the paper so I threw it away or at least I swore I did. Turns out I needed that paper because the car wasn't under my name yet, I looked everywhere for it
And nothing. The next day it was on top of my bed and no one had left it there.
At night I'll go to bed really sad and I have salt lamp that calms me down so I'll turn it on but sometimes I forget. So when I wake up in the middle of the night it will be on and no one other then me could've done it. There is just certain things I cannot explain or are very hard to explain.
I'm not sure if anyone else has gone through this but I hope you enjoy my story and sorry for my grammar I'm not very good at it.
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And I will definitely take your advice on my crush because I still haven't had the chance. Though yesterday he accidently got wacked in the shoulder by my backpack...lol...
And yes I never thought of a guardian spirit but it does make sense. I am not very religious with church and all but do pray to god often and always thank him various times in the day so I always thought it was his way of saying that I am not alone.