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Who Is With Me?

 

For as long as I can remember I've been alone, as a young girl I was always bullied and abused by my brother. He would always hit me and people would always treat me bad at school and my mom didn't bother to see what was wrong. I'm not in school anymore and I am in my mid 20's. Every night as a child and teen I would cry myself to bed and I would feel very depressed and suicidal seeing that no one cared about the harm that was happening to me. With that said I have always felt a presence be near me ever since all the bullying and attacks started to happen since I was six.

As a smaller child I used to live in a haunted apartment, I would see many ghost including a man that was killed in the building and lived where we lived. At the time my mom always claimed I would scream because I saw clowns in my closet. Ever since I can remember the paranormal has always fallowed me especially throughout the upcoming years. I know I've always saw ghost and shadows all these years until now.

Well right now I don't have many friends and I've never really had many friends maybe just 2 actual friends, so I've always felt really alone and depressed. For some reason though most of the time when I am feeling this way I always feel cold chills everywhere and then I start to feel a sudden warmth. This happens almost all the time I'm going through this. Or I'll be out somewhere and I will see someone and I would wish I had more friends and then I would get a deep gut feeling that tells me to talk to them following with chills. Example; one day I was out eating at a taco place and I see this girl and a voice in my head tells me that me and her will be friends. It wasn't wrong, later on I was introduced to her and we became friends. This tends to happen a lot.

Another example I haven't had good luck with getting a boyfriend and don't get me wrong I have dated but it's been a year and a half or 2 years. So where I work at in a contact center we got some new people one is a guy my age and has long hair, is chubby not fat, and is not too short but not tall and wears glasses just like me and turns out we have many things in common. (from what I saw).

Well I knew nothing about this person not a darn thing and I had no clue what his name was or what it could be. At work we get emails delivered to us on outlook and for our department I can see a list of names, so I was looking through all the names and I saw one that got my heart racing. I saw the name Max Jacobo and then again I got that feeling in the pit of my stomach telling me that it was his name, I looked it up and indeed it was him, and we have more things in common then I'd like to admit. Now every time I walk by him I have a strong feeling and I feel like he also looks at me because I caught him.

The point is even though I'm so alone I don't feel as if I am I always feel as if there is a presence who is helping me. At the end of the day when I'm ready to call it a night I always feel like I'm being watched like I'm never alone. I have even felt like I have received warm hugs in couple of occasions. This always happens when my emotions are the strongest.

How do I know if I'm truly alone? I don't have good communications with my family but I heavily feel a presence that follows me everywhere. I cannot explain this phenomenon. Anything I need help with it always feels like I get a helping hand as in emotional help. When I'm feeling down or I think I'm getting sick random things always appear in all kinds of places. Like random quotes on my internet browser as inspirational ones. Or on several accessions my phone or computer will act up and then it will just play the perfect song depending on how I'm feeling that day. Or recently I bought a car from my aunt and I had received an important letter in the mail regarding my registration and I thought I didn't need the paper so I threw it away or at least I swore I did. Turns out I needed that paper because the car wasn't under my name yet, I looked everywhere for it

And nothing. The next day it was on top of my bed and no one had left it there.

At night I'll go to bed really sad and I have salt lamp that calms me down so I'll turn it on but sometimes I forget. So when I wake up in the middle of the night it will be on and no one other then me could've done it. There is just certain things I cannot explain or are very hard to explain.

I'm not sure if anyone else has gone through this but I hope you enjoy my story and sorry for my grammar I'm not very good at it.

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loneybone (7 stories) (65 posts)
 
10 hours ago (2017-10-17)
Jubeele Thanks so much for your kind words, I definitely feel that god is with me and because of it I am being strong. I no longer let my brother treat me they way he use to and slowly I am changing into a more stronger person and learning to stand up for my self. I definitely know someone is with me and I always thank the lord before going to bed I'm sure he might have something to do with it.

Just this weekend I went to visit my dad because his wife passed away except she was an awful mean person while alive and my dad was never really there for me at all but I went for moral support it had been a while since her passing but I wanted to show him that he could count on me. Well when I went to see him, there was many people I paid my respects and went over to his house. All my time there he never spoke to me but once just to say he didn't like my weight. It really hurt my feelings a lot because he takes care of another girl like it's his daughter since birth but to me he has never wanted me so I went and I cried for a good minute in his bathroom when I felt I big gush if wind just pass me my hair even moved and I suddenly stopped crying all together and I got a good feeling like I knew things were going to change and everything was going to be just fine.
Those are the reasons I am staying strong and not discourage my self. And as far saying Hi and making friends with my crush well wish me luck on that one I am extremely shy with those things and I end up panicking last minute but I hope it works out.
Jubeele (3 stories) (121 posts)
 
3 weeks ago (2017-09-26)
Hi lonelybone,
Let me begin with this: you are loved. By God, the Supreme Being or Mother Gaia; we are all given a place in this life for a reason. It is up to us to find out what it is.

Parents aren't perfect and sibling rivalry can be quite destructive. It is sad when the people who are supposed to care for us let us down. You are deserving of respect; do not give anyone the power to make you feel less than worthy.

From what you said, you are obviously sensitive to things around you. It may well be that you sense a guardian spirit, helping you in times of need. Sometimes, after a near-miss or incredible escape from some hazard, I can almost feel a presence protecting me. It's that "still, small voice" when we are quiet enough to hear it. Whatever the reason, take what comfort you can from it.

By the way, have you spoken to this new person at work? If you feel you have things in common, why not say "hi"? Who knows, you may gain a new friend. 😳
loneybone (7 stories) (65 posts)
 
3 weeks ago (2017-09-25)
Jamospollypop Thank you I never thought of it as a gift before. I know my mom is a bit psychic and doesn't really want to develop her self, but she has told things to others that left them in shock. And as far as my grandfather I don't think so. My grandpa from my mom's side is still alive but my other grandpa was a terrible man and I only met him once. So not a grandfather but that really leaves me wondering.
Jamospollypop (2 posts)
 
1 month ago (2017-09-08)
All of this has happened your entire life even the things that you didn't write. You have tried so hard to make sense of it your entire life too but even the things you think aren't coincidence aren't. Nothing ever happens by coincidence. You know you have this gift but you are so scared of it, you need to be open to your gift and develop it because it's never going away. Big hugs. I believe it's your grandfather
loneybone (7 stories) (65 posts)
 
1 month ago (2017-09-08)
Thank you all for your comments.

Anno_Domini
Thank you for your concern about getting help, I have this well under control and don't feel this way all the time I've though about just getting help and talking to someone who can help me forget or move on. But I would never cause my self harm well not anymore.
And I feel that whatever is with me is not bad, I always say a prayer and tell the entity that might be with me that is free to go but maybe it's just a helping hand or kind spirit.

Shelbyloree
I have not had any relatives die recently, me and my dad don't talk at all and I can see he does not care about me in the slightest. My brother does not hit me anymore I've learned to defend my self now we just argue but I think he's learning to be more mature and I no longer let him treat me the way he did. I was young and didn't know how to defend my self back then. The worst part is that were twins.
And to try and get away from it all is exactly what I'm trying to do I've actually accomplished a lot more than my brother like a lot more so that's why I think he has left me alone now for the most part besides the arguing.

And about getting rid of what is toxic I think that you are right. Even though I think it's a kind spirit I also think it could be something maybe trying to leach of my energy or one who enjoys all the negativity. Or if not that maybe it can be as they say my 3rd eye.

Bastet
I never though of it as a spirit guide or though I could ever have one but seeing the circumstances I could I agree very much that it's a big possibility.
And yes for sure I know how it feels and I'm glad you can relate to this as well. I hope your doing well.
Bastet (1 stories) (14 posts)
 
1 month ago (2017-09-02)
Dear Loneybone,
Thank you for sharing - I could relate to this a lot. I didn't have an easy childhood, I was bullied at school and no-one to turn to (as my Mum was depressed and quite distant). But looking back, I understand that it helped me understand who I was and move forward in life afterwards. I lived In a haunted apartment (but realized it when I was a teenager).
I believe your perceptions are real, and it could may be be your Spirit Guide?.
shelbyloree (5 stories) (285 posts)
 
1 month ago (2017-09-02)
Could be intuition or maybe a deceased relative helping you out on occasion? Where's your dad in all of this? Could it be him? Or could he straighten your brother out so he quits the hitting?

Take a self defense course! Join the military or go to a college far away and get away from those people, they sound toxic. Start building a life away from them and things should get better. You'll grow independent and strong, be around new people and learn new things.

And yeah, stay true to your internal compass, the gut feelings and the chills, it's got your best interests in mind. Maybe once you shake the toxic folk, the 'ghostly' activity will decrease and you'll have a stronger focus in the physical world, looking towards your own future.

It doesn't really sound like you 'picked up' anything, you just notice more than your family. A sensitive as it were. Good luck!
Anno_Domini (2 stories) (79 posts)
 
2 months ago (2017-08-28)
Hi loneybone... I'm glad that you have a few friends who stick by you, those are hard to come by.

Firstly, when a person is lonely, they tend to internalise & narrate their thoughts, and this may, over the course of time, seem to be the thoughts of another. You may want to seek opinion from a medical professional on this.

Secondly, if indeed true that there is an entity that is constantly with you, I suggest that you see a pastor or a priest for advice. Please do read my thoughts on the paranormal on my profile page to see where I am coming from.

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