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A Husbands Last Promise

 

Just a little background before I get to the story at hand. My grandfather (Papa) died on August 19, 1999. He had been on dialysis for 4 years and died in the hospital of heart failure. On Tuesday, August 17th, he told the doctor that he didn't have but about 2 more days to live and he was right.

We thought that we would lose my grandmother (Granny) not long after my Papa died, but she proved all of us wrong. She had taken care of him since the day he got sick and that was all she had known for 4 years. They had been married for over 56 years.

Fast forward to 2006. Granny was diagnosed with lung, bone, and stomach cancer on August 15, 2006. The following Wednesday she had a porta cath (sp) put in to start chemo and on that Friday, found out she had 4th stage brain cancer. After finding out that she had the brain cancer she opted not to do chemo or radiation and just live out the rest of her days however God chose fit.

My parents lived with my grandparents since my Papa had gotten sick and my kids and I only lived about 8 miles from them. We were down there a lot, but after she was diagnosed with cancer, we were down there every day.

Two weeks before my Granny died we were down visiting and her and I were sitting on the front porch. She looked at me and said, "Guess who came to visit me today?" My reply was, I don't know and I was trying to guess who had stopped by to see her that maybe hadn't been around for a while. After a few wrong guesses, I finally said I don't know who. Her reply was, Papa. Believing that this was very well possible, I asked her when and what had happened. She began to tell me how she had gotten up out of bed that morning, went into the kitchen to fix her some toast to take with her medicine, and went back to her bedroom to watch TV. She had just sat down on the bed when he appeared at the window and started to walk over to her. Of course this caught her by surprise, and she started to cry. He simply told her that he was coming to get her soon. She asked him when and all he said was soon, then he just disappeared. She told me that she sat there for about an hour crying and asking him to come back just one more time.

On Friday, October 13th, we had gone down there to visit and she was a little slow but was still coherent. As my kids and I were about to leave, she asked me to wait for just 30 minutes. I told her that I couldn't and that we would be back down there first thing on Saturday. By the time we arrived Saturday, she was not coherent and could only keep her eyes open for about 30 seconds at a time the most. She died at 10:24 on Sunday, October 15th.

My mother said that before she took her last breathe that she smiled and waved. One of her sisters that was there said, did you see her wave at us. My mother's reply was, she wasn't waving at us, she was waving at the ones we couldn't see, the ones that came to get her.

I know that Papa was one of the ones who came to meet her, because he told her that he was coming to get her. The one thing that I will regret until the day that I die is that I didn't wait just 30 more minutes. If I had known what was about to happen, I would have stayed. I have learned the hard way not to take the people in your life for granted and cherish every single moment with them.

You are never promised tomorrow, only the day at hand...

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The following comments are submitted by users of this site and are not official positions by yourghoststories.com. Please read our guidelines and the previous posts before posting. The author, bette31, has the following expectation about your feedback: I will read the comments and participate in the discussion.

applerose (13 stories) (139 posts)
 
7 years ago (2010-10-21)
What a sweet story - It made my eyes water.
My grandmother who is 91 - is doing ok now - she is in a nursing home - she tells us all the time that she talks to her husband - I believe that she does - granddaddy died January 1999. Sometimes we will hear her sing "Are You Lonesome Tonight" Granddaddy use to sing that to her all the time.
Also my dad died in 1987 - and a few days before he died - I walked into the room - and daddy was sitting up in bed with his arms outstretched - talking to someone - I asked who he was talking to - and he laid back down and look at me and just smile and went to sleep. - I believe he was looking and talking to angels and loveones.
Thank you for sharing such a great story!
CassidyW84 (1 stories) (38 posts)
 
7 years ago (2010-09-26)
I really enjoyed reading your story 😁it was very touching. I am sorry for your loss.
monicar (4 stories) (12 posts)
 
8 years ago (2010-04-16)
oh and by the way this happened in west virginia and ohio pap 85 gramma 93 and pap 99
monicar (4 stories) (12 posts)
 
8 years ago (2010-04-16)
wow so much in common I to called my grandpa papa and I have seen all my angels both my paps and my 1 gramma me and my hubbys anniversary is aug 17 of 92 my moms bday is oct 13 on a friday when my gramma passed of cancer I left earlie to get to work she was incoherint from morphine my pap (her husband) passed in the hospital of 3rd or 4th phenomia my dad is now in the hospital for the same thing my papa (moms dad) and gramma dads side came to me when my son was born they almost lost us both and recently I seen all three of them 6 weeks ago yesturday when I had my hysterectomy (cancer) they was there when I woke up because of complications so I do believe you we do see our long lost loved ones from time to time
aussiedaz (18 stories) (1276 posts)
+1
8 years ago (2010-03-28)
My father died on the 5th of august 1999, my mother died on the 13th of august2009, both from lung cancer, I am glad I found your story and I too believe she was waving at her husband.
Take care, God bless.
shrlyhughes86 (1 stories) (7 posts)
 
8 years ago (2009-10-14)
thanx for this story I have lost 12 loved ones including my dad since 95 this story gives me hope of seeing them again!
bozoe6 (7 stories) (23 posts)
 
8 years ago (2009-08-17)
I strongly believe that our loved ones that passed before us, usually are the ones there when we pass. The reason I say this, when my mom passed away 2 years ago around Thanksgiving at my aunts house. My cousin said that in the middle of the night, she heard the backdoor open and shut three times, but no one walked in. This was around 12:45am she said. The coroners said that mom died around 1am. So I was comforted knowing that my brother, grandma and grandfather were there with my mom.

Bette, thanks for sharing this story with us. I actually had tears in my eyes reading this. Don't knock yourself down for not being there those extra 30 minutes. She knew you loved her.
God bless
ladyannne (11 stories) (91 posts)
 
9 years ago (2008-08-29)
You cannot imagine how badly I needed to read this story, thank you, Bette. Lil, your comment was perfect timing as well. Thank you both, so much.
bette31 (9 stories) (127 posts)
 
9 years ago (2008-08-29)
lilblackpom-thank you for the comment and thank you for sharing your experience with your father. Like I told Brownie09, I don't beat myself up anymore over it, I have come to terms with it. I share my experiences with my children now and answer as many of their questions as I can.
lilblackpom (13 stories) (218 posts)
 
9 years ago (2008-08-28)
Hello bette. I don't know how I missed this story but I seem to have. I am so sorry for the losses you have had. You needn't feel guilt because you were not there the last 30 minutes. I don't know if you will want to read this but when my father was on his last breaths, he hung on for 4 days and the doctors couldn't believe this. Now I was at the hospital day in and day out. I just couldn't hang in anymore the 4th night. I was sleeping at the hospital on a chair and needed a decent night's sleep. When everybody left my dad's room that evening, I went over to my dad's side and whispered in his ear we all love him very much, Greg is here now so you don't have to hold on any longer, everything will be okay and don't worry about anyone, and I want you to be at peace Dad, you can go now into the light.

My youngest brother Greg lived in British Columbia at the time and his flight kept getting delayed because of poor weather. He didn't make it to say his last final words to our dad and felt awful. Needless to say Dad was hanging on until Greg arrived. This is what I felt.

After I went home to bed, it was morning 5:00 am and the phone rang, it was my uncle with the bad news. But I had already known this was going to happen. I always remember the time because I was born at 5:00 pm.

Greg felt so guilty that he wasn't there to talk with my Dad, and so did I for not being with my Dad when he passed but knew he was because of my last words to him. Things out of the ordinary always happen like this that we can't fix. But everything happens for a reason and I strongly believe the reason you weren't there is because your Grandma didn't want you to see her this way. She wanted you to remember the times you both shared with each other when she was alive because you were dear to her.

Sorry bette for this being a little long. I want to try to make you understand a little bit better going upon my experiences with grieving and death of loved ones.

A thought I have which I did with Chris, is I bought a Journal. I wrote to Chris a lot too. Doing this helped me with acceptance. Take care ❀
bette31 (9 stories) (127 posts)
 
9 years ago (2008-08-28)
Thank you for the comment, I don't beat myself up anymore over the fact that I wasn't there when she did pass. I think about all the good times we had together and I try to share them with my own children.
Brownie09 (6 stories) (293 posts)
 
9 years ago (2008-08-28)
That was a wonderful and touching story, You couldn't have known, that it was going to be that soon, so don't be hard on your self, At least she is with your Grandfather and you know that she loved you all so much, and that she went peacefully. Thanks for your story. 😊
bette31 (9 stories) (127 posts)
 
9 years ago (2008-08-01)
rhodes-It has been almost 2 years now since my granny passed. When I wrote this story, I had to stop 4 times to dry my tears. When I think about her, I get teared up. You know that death is something that has to happen, it keeps balance. At the same time, a part of you thinks that the ones we love are invincible, even to death. When my papa died, I knew he was gone. It has been so different with granny. I guess that it just came so sudden, it's like she's gone home to the mountains and any day now she will be coming home. I have gone to her grave and spoken with her, but it is still almost unreal. I travel up to the grave once a year and spend a few minutes with them (her and papa). I am sorry about the loss of your own grandmother and not to sound horrible, I am glad to see that I am not the only one who "beats themself" up over a loss of a family member. I have nothing but wonderful childhood memories with both of my grandparents and that is something that no one can ever take away!
bette31 (9 stories) (127 posts)
 
9 years ago (2008-08-01)
Sarah-thank you for the words of encouragement. I have come to terms with the fact that maybe it was for the best that I not be there at that time. Everything happens for a reason.
rhodes68 (14 stories) (1596 posts)
 
9 years ago (2008-07-30)
I have absolutely no idea why or how I missed this story bette but I'm glad I just came across it. It goes straight to my favorite list and the reason is because of your last paragraph-it sums up exactly the way I have felt and the thing I have been saying over and over for more than ten years about my own grandma's death.

Neither of us was there the very last moment;you had a family to take care of-a family she loved and cared for herself-while I had a mother who was under sedation and needed to return home immediately-my own grandmother's loving daughter.

Reading through these words of grief, I've come to realise how little justice we both do ourselves and to the memory of two adored grandmothers. We weren't there the very last moment, we were there every other minute of their days, sharing our lives, the laughter and the sorrow-a life long memory! Our grandmothers might have left the physical world but they are both with us, in every prayer or wish we make and will be here again in every step we make until the final and longest of all journeys.

Thank you for this story ❀
Sarah (1 stories) (50 posts)
 
9 years ago (2008-07-30)
Hi bette31,

Hindsight is a wonderful thing but try and not let the fact that you couldn't stay the thirty extra minutes with her dominate your memory of her final days. You and your family called to her every day. That is a lot more than other families would do! What is important to note is that she is with her beloved husband. And isn't it nice that she was able to reassure you before her passing. That is what you should focus on.

Sarah.
bette31 (9 stories) (127 posts)
 
10 years ago (2008-06-01)
Thanks for all the positive feed back. As bad as this sounds, I am glad she passed quickly. She could have suffered and none of us wanted that.
bardsidhe (38 posts)
 
10 years ago (2008-05-30)
I second Tonith's comment.
often when people know it is thier time to pass over, they do not want everyone there to witness the passing.
from what you have written, you can rest assured that Your Gran did not pass alone,
and she passed in a timely manner.

I believe that those who pass peacefully are doing so at the time they are meant to.
so do not feel badly for not being there.
Biemaster (7 stories) (192 posts)
 
10 years ago (2008-05-29)
Wow, what a WONDERFUL story! It was really touching! This is definatley going into my favorites! I hope both your Grandfather and Grandmother's souls rest is peace.
Biemaster
Tonith (1136 posts)
 
10 years ago (2008-05-29)
Don't feel badly about the 30 minutes You were there all the times that mattered. Sometimes people have to leave in order for the sick person to pass. My sister is a nurse as is my best friend and they have said the same. What you have with your grandmother is beyond just this physical world. She knew it too when your grandfather visited her. I believe when people are ready to go to the next dimension there are others there to help them.
bette31 (9 stories) (127 posts)
 
10 years ago (2008-05-28)
Thanks QueenTas. When she died my twin girls were only 3. It is pretty sad when you are crying and your 3 year old tells you that they will not be sad because now Grandma Dot won't have to hurt or be sick anymore. It just goes to show how much us adults can learn from little ones.
QueenTas (4 stories) (43 posts)
 
10 years ago (2008-05-28)
That was a wonderful story, very touching.
thanks for sharing, I believe my Grandmother was one of them that met my Grandfather, and your right weare never promised tomorrow, only the day at hand.

I believe that weather or not you stayed, your Grandmother was still happy about the time that she did spend with you.

Thanks again for sharing your story.
Tricia

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