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Supernatural Or Unnatural?

 

Between the ages of four and seven I can remember occasionally feeling the presence of an older woman nearby. When she was near me, I would feel sick to my stomach with sadness.

I had this overwhelming fear that my parents weren't my parents, like I belonged to someone else. Of all the things that kids are afraid of, that one had to be the most ridiculous. It seemed like the woman wanted me to know, specifically, that these were not my parents, but I never felt like she wanted to scare me. I feel it important to stress that the feeling of being displaced frightened me, but the woman herself didn't frighten me. I also vaguely remember that although I never heard her call my name, I was certain that someone was calling me when I would become aware of her.

My mother asked me what the woman looked like, and she was insistent that it was her mother. To be honest, I didn't believe it was real, even though it was happening to me. I never saw the woman, I only sensed her presence. Years later, when I saw a picture of my maternal grandmother, she actually was the woman I had felt near me as a little girl. I could never really describe her to my mother but I knew her when I saw her picture. I never knew my mother's mother because she died about fifteen years before I was born.

After my mother died, I discovered that she had other children I never knew about. I was the one she kept, and yet interestingly enough, I never could shake the feeling that I wasn't hers. However, I can also remember feeling very strongly that I was not an only child. There were times that I simply knew, for no reason at all, that I had siblings and I needed to find them. That sensation would come without warning and was always intense. All but one of them was already dead when I found out that they existed.

The story would end there, but when I found my mother's dead body, it was accompanied by another presence that was so strong I could almost see it. It was an angry kind of energy and it made it clear that it wanted me to die, too. At least it felt that way to me. It seemed so vengeful. I got the distinct impression, as if an actual thought had been placed in my head externally, that it wanted me because I was her daughter. I genuinely heard the words repeating in my head, "You're next! You're next!" I felt as if it were being screamed at me. I honestly thought that I was just freaked out because I had seen a dead body, especially the dead body of someone I knew so well.

She died unexpectedly with the house locked up like Fort Knox. I had to break in to get to her and I just had a funny feeling that day that something wasn't right. I had recently been to a funeral for a dear family friend, and the eleventh anniversary of my father's death had just passed a few days beforehand. So, I really thought that a whole bunch of random, freaky events had occurred and that death with all its weirdness was fresh in my mind. Plus, it didn't make a whole lot of sense that something would want to harm me just because I was related to my mother. It became that much creepier when the sister I didn't know about until then, and never actually met, died young and unexpectedly, a short time later. The minute I got the news of her passing, I immediately thought of the entity that I had felt and how it emanated such hate.

My mother was odd and I determined early in life that she had lots of things she did not want to talk about. I never realized they were bona fide secrets. I assume that I just picked up her emotional baggage along the way. It would be logical for her to drop hints and clues over the years due to guilt. But, then again, maybe I was tuning into something more sinister than guilt or her instability because I had tons of bad luck until she left this earth. However, after we moved her things into our garage, weird stuff happened in our home until we got rid of all of it.

The women in my mother's family periodically had ghostly apparitions appear to them. That might be why my mother wasn't upset about me being aware of someone near me. I've never seen an apparition, but I've had several other experiences similar to this one.

I have worked diligently in the last few years to lose this ability and most recently it has been two or three years since I've had anything happen. I guess my questions are, is that really what my grandmother wanted me to know? Is there something else I should pay attention to when I think back to these accounts? Why did I stop noticing her presence? Did I really turn off my "sensors" or will this happen again? I think all the spooky stuff that surrounded my mother's death is easily explained, even though it was very scary. I could be wrong and would welcome input. I'm still not sure that I think this stuff is completely right or real or whatever, although I've had other experiences.

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The following comments are submitted by users of this site and are not official positions by yourghoststories.com. Please read our guidelines and the previous posts before posting. The author, kimberly, has the following expectation about your feedback: I will read the comments and participate in the discussion.

kimberly (2 stories) (23 posts)
 
9 years ago (2008-09-11)
Hi ChrisB,
In reference to your e-mail, I'll explain the name another time and THANK YOU for taking the time to respond. Based on your explanation, I know that I'm far from being a sensitive. But having a little brush with it makes me understand how hard it would be to live with such intuition. Thank you for your insight! You won't hear from me for a little while because I'm evacuating with the Hurricane. But I look forward to more stories from all of you, and for some wise guidance from other contributors like you. Thank you again, ChrisB! Have a happy day!
ChrisB (6 stories) (1515 posts)
 
9 years ago (2008-09-11)
Hi Kimberley. I used the Asthma analogy because it was the best way to explain it. It just happened that it popped into my head and I used it as an example. I to have asthma and I guess I know a little about it. But I'm no doctor 😆!A sensitive is a person who has the sixth sence and usually sees,feels,smells,more then other people. This person picks on things easiere then others. I believe that everyone has this ability it just that not everyones is as godd as a sensitives. I will give you an example. I bet that many times you recieved a phone call and You knew who was calling, without picking up the phone. Or if something happened to somebody, you knew that something was not right and you never even had contact with this person. These are examples of people who have the sixth sence. But people who have well developed sixth sences can even tell you the history and emotions surrounding an object. In other words these are Mediums. They usualy use a spirit who is with them to contact the other world. It may sound crazy but there are people who have this ability! If you have any other questions feel free to post them. There are a lot of other people here who know more about this but I just wanted you to have a look. I hope I helped. I will be waiting for your next stories. I hope to hear from you soon and take care
kimberly (2 stories) (23 posts)
 
9 years ago (2008-09-10)
ChrisB,
Its curious that you would use the asthma analogy because my mother likely died from an asthma attack. We've never known exactly what she died from, but she had severe asthma. We've wondered if it was a stroke, but I have to wonder if your choice of words is perhaps an interesting way of answering that question. Thanks for your feedback. What is a "sensitive"? I'd love to know more. Thanks again!
ChrisB (6 stories) (1515 posts)
 
9 years ago (2008-09-10)
Hi Kimberly. I haventy read other post hear so if I repeat anything I'm sorry. I understand that being a sensitive can be sometimes a very hard thing. Some call it a blessing oithers call it a curse. It depends on how you treat this ability. I believe that being a sensitive may aswell surve for a propper manner. Ity may not only help you but others aswell. I hate to break it to you but having the sixth sence will never dissapear. It is like astma. You might grow out of it but it is always there. Just never know when it will kick in. But the problem I believe is to learn how to stop these visions. If you ever feel the same presence tell it to leave you firmly. Tell it to go to the light. Maybe then it will give you peace. I hope to hear from you soon and take care
kimberly (2 stories) (23 posts)
 
9 years ago (2008-09-09)
Rhodes68,
Yeah, I can't judge her for what happened with her kids. I wasn't happy about all of this when it came out because it explained so many weird things that she did when I was growing up. Altho I was glad to have some explanation. But I never judged her for that because I have known mothers who walked out on their children, and I have kids of my own... They can be hard to handle. She was just mean in general, and who knows why since there were clearly issues, so that used to irritate me. But the rest of it... Go figure. Sometimes you just never really know people.
rhodes68 (14 stories) (1596 posts)
 
9 years ago (2008-09-09)
Hi Kimberly and thank you for posting what must have been a really difficult story to share. I haven't read the other comments so forgive me for possibly echoing anything previously said. I have to assume that the angry presence you felt was that of your grandmother. You seem to be quite intuitive and since your mom confirmed her identity too and so effortlessly, you must be right. And yet, I wouldn't think the anger you felt was directed towards you-I wouldn't be so sure it was anger at all. Sometimes guilt as well as fear may be misinterpreted as such. You don't really know that much about your mom and her mother's relationship. There might have been a lot of tension between them which might account for what you sensed when the presence was around. I personally believe she was there to protect you possibly from the pain and confusion you must have felt when you learnt about your siblings.

As for your mother, she definitely had her share of guilt to live with while on this earth. You can never be sure why she kept the existence of her other children a secret or why she had to give them up so don't be quick to judge. Maybe her own pain for the life she lived and for the things she was deprived of was the reason behind the events after her passing. I would say a few prayers for her if I were you to try to appeace her soul.

Thank you
kimberly (2 stories) (23 posts)
 
9 years ago (2008-09-08)
MissY732,
Will it help if I look up? I mean, does it deflect any unwanted supernatural experience? Kinda gives a whole new meaning to "look both ways before you cross the street". 😊
Thanks for your help!
kimberly (2 stories) (23 posts)
 
9 years ago (2008-09-08)
Hi bellisima,
You're right. I think it was my mother. She had emotional problems and I think even in death she was afraid I would find out what she'd done. I wish she'd been nicer in life, but I don't care about the other stuff. Sometimes bad things just happen and its not my place to judge her for leaving her other children. Who knows what happened. To my knowledge all of her kids are dead. But my dad also had other children I didn't know about and I only know a couple of them. I think they are free of the freaky stuff, though. Thank you for your input.
Bellissima (12 stories) (792 posts)
 
9 years ago (2008-09-08)
Hi Kimberly. Thank you for sharing your story, it's quite personal and must have been difficult for you. Is it possible that the angry, hostile energy you felt when you found your Mom was actually her own energy? As you said she had a lot of secrets, the nature of which wouldn't rest easy in a person. There must be quite a story behind her giving up her children and as ladyannne said, there may have been a great deal of emotional issues between your Mom and her Mom. You may have misinterpreted the lingering energy as being directed toward you when in fact it was just there with your Mom. In your comment you said that maybe if you got it all down on paper it would make some sense. I think that's a good idea. All the little things you felt were odd, when they come to mind, just jot them down and go back and look them over. I hope that it will help you gain some understanding and peace of mind. Are you able to contact your sibling to see what they know, felt or experienced through out their lives?
MissY732 (1 stories) (2 posts)
 
9 years ago (2008-09-08)
Children round the age of 5-9 years are able to see ghosts, spirits and communicate with them. This normally goes when children reach 9 years. Some children don't accept it, which is why they come back until you do accept the fact.
Ghosts don't really like hurting people they want people to know things, a ghost can get very frustrated with itself, if you see a spirit you have to let it know that you can see it because that where the trouble will start if you don't.
Viv x

P.s. As you walk down the street do you ever look UP... NO you always look down or straight ahead... Ghost look down on you... But you never look up at them... Do you... Scary I know... Next time you walk down a street or any where look up...otherwise...u might miss something important.! (I am not trying to scare you with this, it is true and I missed something, a ghost. It does work for people with the gift, that is how I found out I could see them.)
kimberly (2 stories) (23 posts)
 
9 years ago (2008-09-08)
Thaks, Ladyanne,
I don't know what to make of it either. But I have other stories that are related to my childhood and things we owned. Something in our house had its own personality, I'm afraid. Maybe when I get all of it out on paper it will make sense. I seriously think it was mental energy and not otherwordly. But I had to wonder about the supernatural connection after so many things came to my awareness. Thanks again! I have questions about this not quite sixth sense because I used to have dreams that would come true - and never in a good way. Somehow I guess I've connected all these events.
ladyannne (11 stories) (91 posts)
 
9 years ago (2008-09-08)
Hi Kimberly! This was an amazing story to read, and well told. Thank you for sharing it!
First immediate thoughts are about how disjointed the pieces of your puzzle are, how they don't seem to make sense when added up, so I can imagine your confusion! I am confused and befuddled just reading about it. I don't do well with an untidy understanding, it would drive me crazy.
From my own experiences, we are often approached to be told something they feel we need to know. I can't associate the raging with the visit from a grandmother, unless there was a great deal of serious unrest between your mother and her mother, especially regarding the children and what unfolded. Even then, to wish someone harm is not ordinary.
When events get to be too much, I can, indeed, turn off any sight, getting, extra knowledge. It's not so easy to bring it back, I have to relax and go about my life, with continual, open awareness. So, yes, I believe we CAN turn it off and out of our lives. I also believe that we see, or don't see. Lots of thought here of late in that department. So, sooner or later, I think, you will 'see' again.
Putting together the pieces of past experiences? Perhaps you will know, learn, or have a new understanding as time passes? Things do tend to happen in their own time, no matter how we want something NOW or not. I pray your mother is at peace, and that she will extend to you some knowledge that will make everything clearer. Wouldn't that be grand?

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