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I Tried To Be Sneaky
I recently quit smoking as an anniversary present to myself. My thought process is that I will be able to dance like a teenager at my 50th anniversary (fat chance!).
A few nights ago one of my teenagers and I had a bit of a riff over her wanting to get on the computer at 11:30. Her homework was not done, but Race and I were heading off to bed, and the rules are that no one is to be on the computer without our supervision in the event that there would be a reason to consult us.
Not giving in, but frustrated beyond belief, I went into the bedroom to sneak a smoke. I shut the door, lit incense, pulled out my stash and located a lighter. Just as I picked up the lighter, there came three timid knocks on the door. Thinking it was the daughter that I had had the altercation with, I sang out "just ONE minnnnnute!" as if I were wrapping a present and not trying to be sneaky.
I hurriedly opened the door to an empty hall (not really a hall, it is just the wall and door that the coat closet is in). I walked out into the living room thinking she had just given up and walked away. I found her bent way underneath the desk trying to locate the USB port, and steadfastly ignoring me. Race was at his desk and only looked up at me. I asked Race if he had heard the knocks and he said that is why he asked me what that was. I had a THOUGHT of what it was, but...
I guess not only my living family would like this Quit to work this time around.
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I bet your Uncle just thought it was the alcohol, at first, too. Did he?
Thank you for sharing that, it really makes me feel a part of a whole. Know what I mean?
Thank you.
Could you please contact me via my email address? I have someone asking for help and I need some back up. Thank you so much.
Blessed be.
Take care
Cook County in Il (the county I live in) has one of the highest sales taxs. They keep raising it... And raising it.
Isn't it funny how people start smoking? I started because my friend Sean didn't want to smoke alone. I would spilt a cigarette with our friend Diane. Neither one of us could finish it. Coughing... All flustered. Now I don't think anything of it.
Also, I believe you have my email (if you don't Kecoughtan does, you can get in touch with him). I'll be around now and then
Too bad when I first saw that really cute cool guy on the bridge by the school smoking, I did not know that cig prices would go up over 400% (Does THAT tell you how long I have been smoking?)! And also, too bad I was such a push over for long hair on a guy.
Stupid (smacking palm of hand on the forehead in between chanting the words), stupid, stupid.
I would hate to see you leave this site. You bring in that fresh air of searching out the REAL answers in any situation. We need others here that are not afraid to pull out the ace card on the first hand. I find myself skirting around my REAL thoughts at times, just to keep the peace, but really, your contributions would be missed.
Thank you.
Good luck on the quitting. If the health side effects or the HIGH taxes on smoking aren't enough reason... Maybe a spirit is?
Seriously though, good luck. I'm trying myself... But Its a battle
My Father quit smoking back when I was so young I can not bring to mind ONE TIME that I saw him actually in the act OF smoking.
My Mother never smoked, but in that she was subjected to the second hand smoke for so long, she (at times) goes through cravings as if she HAD.
I started up back when the dinosaurs were roaming the earth, the land bridge was still present, and our supervisors yelled out "Smoke 'em if you got 'em!" instead of "Coffee break!" (That would have been a MUCH better habit to have picked up)
BUT, no excuses. All excuses DO, is make it easier to lie to yourself. Thank you for your empathy and support.
I would agree with you on the knocking. At this point, it is not important WHO did the reminding. What IS important is that I heard it, and listened.
Thank you.
As for the knocking, someone in the spirit world is warning you to take this latest habit breaking effort seriously. Someone loves you VERY MUCH. Please try to listen if you can. It will please them and bring more time for you with your family.
God Bless,
Byluyster
I am SO hoping this is a message from one of Our Way.
See, the "problem" is, in OUR WAY of life, smoking is a big part. We smoke tobacco and other plants (though OUR family sticks to the tobacco as I have a highly addictive personality) for both pleasure AND praying. The smoke is said to be The Great Spirit's breath taking the prayers up to the One's Above. It is said that if you HOLD the pipe, you can speak ONLY the truth. To many native Americans, pipe and tobacco are STILL very sacred and smoking is a holy ritual.
"Hard punishment" (for deeds done AGAINST the tribe or clan) is preventing the member to SHARE the pipe. THAT person has to smoke on their own, and with a "poor pipe". It is in total dishonor.
Rationalisation. That is what EVERYONE does, at SOME point when ending a habit. And THIS was my "rational" thought.
Thank you.
VERY persistent!
Honestly, as I crawled into bed (smoke free, I might add, as I was puzzling through this experience) the most prominent thought that was going through my mind was the pact that my Father-in-Law and I made a few months before he passed of lung cancer.
He told ME, that if I were to quit (for real this time, I had quit numerous times before this) HE would quit too.
It ALWAYS "tore me up" when I would hear people say "Well, he SAID he would quit smoking..." KNOWING that I was still lighting up.
He kept HIS end of the bargain, but I did not.
SOME people will read that and decide that was a rude comment, BUT that is NOT how it was intended. In MY WAY of life, a person does not just STOP. They are STILL here, and able to witness our accomplishments and our failures. We strive DAILY to bring them honor.
MAYBE (as I do not KNOW who or what this was) this was HIS way of saying "Lookie here, little lady. WHAT did we promise each other?" He meant, and MEANS so much to our family. If it were not FOR him, much of the family would not exist.
Thank you. Going for month FOUR!
Autumn
.Congratulations on the six years! That is awesome!
It IS the morning that I seem to have the most thoughts of strongly disliking a flaw in my personality. I think that is because I have my "free thoughts" then, and as I am JUST waking up, so it IS all about me at that point. In a few minutes, I will be bombarded with taking care of everyone ELSE, and am too busy to THINK about me.
Huh, maybe that is my solution...
Thank you.
It HAS been hard. I have actually quit probably five times now (should have STAYED quit after my son was born, but I "celebrated". Dumb, I know.)
It is just SO NICE to know that I am not the only "sneaker" to use the same tools! But then, it is kind of discouraging too!
I AM going to make it this time, if it takes my "knocker" to knock the square out of my HAND!
Thank you.
Thanks for Sharing...
Regards,
Logan
That is one persistent and strong minded Guardian you got there for sure and HE doesn't like being ignored as he doesn't like you being naughty!Oh, quit smoking really it is a bad habit and that path before you... Is a loooong one sister!
Here we go again. So, you're not the only one who thinks you should quit. I'm not patronizing. I'm empathizing. Six years now & the lungs are clear. No more self-loathing every morning. If it gets too bad, try the nicotine gum. It will take the edge off. Target's brand is the cheapest. You'll thank yourself & your friend in the long run. Osa
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