Saturday 13th June.
I was a little more than tired on Saturday. I was up at a ridiculous hour so the day really did drag. I had done all the shopping by 1.30pm. I started cooking about 6pm. By 8pm we were both chilling. I was lying on the sofa, and my partner was on the laptop working away. Lying on the sofa I was drifting in and out of sleep barely able to move or speak. I was absolutely exhausted. I was very cold as well, shivering.
It must have been gone past 2am before my partner woke me up telling me to go to bed. I remember getting up and staggering like a drunken to the bedroom. I asked where Inca was, my partner told me not to stress he would come in if he wanted to.
I staggered into the bedroom and opened the bedroom window, and quietly called for Inca, no response; I called again and then looked to face the wall that separates mine and my neighbour's garden. There perched on the wall was Inca staring at me calling him.
"Come on sweetie"
He just stared at me.
"Sweetie, come on, yum yum".
The dumb cat just stared.
"Oh get lost then"!
I closed the window and jumped into bed.
Meow meow, Oh for finks sake, I opened the window and Inca jumped in. Dumb dumb, typical cat.
I jumped back into bed, and Inca made himself comfortable on the foot of the bed. It was not long before he was lying right next to me.
I fell asleep more or less straight away, I was exhausted.
I fell into darkness complete darkness, still on my bed, I felt him caress my body from beneath the bed, arms coming through the mattress until I was lying on top of him. His arms entwined my body; I was struggling to free myself from his grasp.
"Help somebody help"
All I could see was a dark silhouette of a man, nothing else. A strong man with a tight grip is all I could see and feel, a man with a lot of anger, a man who is forceful. I was fighting for my life, I could not breath, could not get out of his grip, I struggled and struggled.
I was free; I looked down and saw myself lying on the bed, and the dark silhouette beneath me. I have come out, panicked I was quickly pulled back into my body.
I was again struggling; I could feel his lips, his tongue, which felt like an animals tongue.
I don't know how long I was in this nightmare for, but I was awoken by Inca meowing.
I looked at the clock it showed 430am. Two hours of torture.
He has been with me since I was 11 years old. This man, the dark silhouette who just wants to hurt me. The attacks are less frequent but more intense.
I let Inca out and went back to bed, thinking about the ordeal.
My partner said whilst I was sleeping on the sofa I was breathing sort of abnormally. He was actually unsure whether I was going to have a nightmare or not. He said he was on alert, also unsure whether to wake me or not.
Was I already in the nightmare?
Surya
Www.sanskrit-yoga.com
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