What Is This?

Let me start by saying I am really not sure what kind of spirit I am dealing with, and that I did not summon it of my own accord. I am a practicing solitary; I won't claim any religion as my own. There is some truth in everything.

It started around my birthday, October 20. I moved into a new house in the beginning of September, but hadn't had any problems before this time. It started when I heard voices talking when I was trying to fall asleep and was hearing a male voice talking. I couldn't understand what it was saying, and I sat up, fully awake. (I do have problems with hypnogogia; however, most of my experiences take place while I am wide awake.) The voice did not go away. I went out and got my roommate up; he didn't hear it, but he DID hear the subsequent loud thuds in the hallway afterward. Then it all stopped, and we went back to sleep.

The noises got worse. At first, they were only at night. The thuds became a steady pounding coming from somewhere in the hallway. Unfortunately, we absolutely could not locate the source of the noise. No matter how "close" we tried to get to the noise, it did not sound any closer or farther away no matter where we were in the house. I continued hearing the voices, usually when I was on the verge of sleep; oftentimes I would wake up and still hear it. It was a male voice, and it got to the point where as soon as I walked into the bedroom, I could hear him either singing/moaning or something like it, like it was a bad horror movie. The noises, where the pounding was a constant for several hours, started being accompanied by scratching, loud bangs, etc. My roommate started hearing the same things I heard, including the voice. I finally got sick of it one night, about five days into the experience. This was the night after I had a very strange dream in which a red scorpion or spider was in my room, with two black, smaller scorpions or spiders on its back. It jumped on my bed and I was screaming, out of bed in an instant. Of course, nothing was there. I went back to sleep, but as I said, the next night it was still getting worse. I was sitting in the living room about 11:00 pm; my roommate was in his bed. I heard the unmistakable sound of a drinking glass being slammed on the counter. I immediately went into the kitchen, but nothing had been moved. Up to that point, I had given it no attention. My roommate and I would not talk to it or about it inside the house, because I was afraid that we might say something to make it angry and it would get a lot worse. I finally spoke to it, telling it that it was fine that it was there, but that the noises needed to stop. It was scaring us, I told it.

And the noises stopped, unless it wanted attention. That's what I realized later, was that the noises were to get my attention. However, somehow, whatever I said actually made it manifest. Now the noises are footsteps, light ones, and loud breathing or wind. It rarely speaks now. After talking to it I went and did the LBRP, which is essentially to cleanse an area of negative energy. I have done this several times since then, but its "visitations" keep getting more and more intense.

It was after that that it latched on to me. The sensations I describe are very, very real; I can feel it touch the top of my head, and it feels like my hair is moving slightly, or that something is lightly stroking my hair. Most of the time the touch is light, slightly cold, and immediately gives me goose bumps. Sometimes it is tingly, or feels like a soft blanket brushing against me and wrapping itself around me; other times it feels like cool water, like a spider crawling on me (which tickles - a lot); when it comes very close it feels very, very hot, to the point where I almost start sweating. Sometimes it's prickly like those things that grow on trees (can't remember their name...) It is always extremely gentle, polite, and if I even think in my mind that I want it to stop, it does. Often when it comes I am totally paralyzed, but wide awake, eyes open, although I can feel certain muscles tense up a lot or feel definite pressure where it is touching me, like if it is moving its hand up my side, it's pushing against me with its weight, but the pressure moves where it moves. It's quite pleasant.

As I said, it seems to be able to hear my thoughts, if I direct them toward it. Sometimes it is painful when it touches me, like it feels like it is pressing down on my throat or heart, but it usually only lasts a few seconds. Oftentimes I will see something out of the corner of my eye, like shadows or other times, white flashing lights. Usually the touch is sexual. For a while though, it didn't actually have sex with me, even if I asked it to. It does not come when I am sleeping. (And I have had no dreams about it. What is, however, odd, is that I am not MYSELF in most of the dreams I have had since this started and I don't recognize anyone and the places in my dreams don't exist in any fashion on this world, that's for sure.) However I have had many strange dreams where I am myself, as has my roommate (it hasn't touched him, although last night he told me he had a dream that I was floating above the bed.) in which we are in the house, but things are moved around or certain objects aren't what they really are, or they change, or the walls are different somehow.

The first time I "saw" it was in somewhat of a lucid dream I think. I wasn't actually asleep, but I was going to go to sleep, and I was suddenly walking around in my bathroom. I picked up a sheet of paper and it had something about "grounding" and a picture of a scarab on it. Then I remembered that one of the things the entity had spoken to me of was amber stones. Then suddenly I was back on the bed, being lifted from it to the point of levitating about six inches off of it, and it was surrounding me. It was warm and soft, although quite solid. It was kissing my belly it is really tickled, and then it literally was like it was inside my body, under my clothes, and I got scared, and it came out from under the blanket. It was definitely human although totally transparent, and I saw its face, male, and the outline of features, but as I said it was like it was made out of clear water or something, it was transparent. I touched it, and it was solid. I opened my eyes, and it was gone, but still wrapped around me -- and I could feel it leave, like a blanket wrapped around me was slowly being drawn away. I apologized to it for getting scared. Over the next few days, it visited me at various times of the day, when I woke up, or when I got home from work, or when I went to go to sleep, even when I was just watching movies or outside smoking.

One night it kept me up all night long, touching me (I never told it to leave) and when I would fall asleep, I would wake up to the feeling of fingers pushing lightly against my collarbone, all the way across from one side to the other, moving in a line, and the feeling would continue for several minutes even after I opened my eyes until I insisted that I was awake. Earlier that day, my roommate and I had gone to the grocery store, and when we came back I sat on the couch and was petting my dog. I thought about going to the bedroom to take off my shoes, but I stayed on the couch. I was petting my dog, who HAS been noticing odd things, by the way. He'll growl or bark at things that are not there, just once, and run into the bedroom like he sees/hears something and I will try to call him and it will take him quite awhile to find me, like he stays in the bedroom for awhile and I have to call him several times, and when he finally comes out to find me it's like he can't, he will go to several different rooms and stop before he finally comes to my location. Anyway, I was sitting on the couch, thinking about going to the bedroom and taking off my shoes. My roommate had gone to the bathroom. I heard him come out into the hall and stop. He called my name, and I responded, and he freaked out and came into the living room, then went back to the hallway, and came back to where I was, and just looked at me, scared to death. He told me he just saw me in the bedroom. That unmistakably, I was in the bedroom. I told him I had no idea what he was talking about, and we went into the bedroom but nothing was there.

I will know he is there when I enter a room and I can hear him breathing, or hear light footsteps, or literally hear the wind, like a loud draft when the heater/AC isn't on and no windows are open. He never physically does anything to anything in the house, like knock things over. He seems to be able to communicate by conveying what he is feeling. I will get a strong sense of some feeling and know it isn't mine. Other times I will see strange pictures that I don't understand. My awareness has heightened considerably. If I listen to music, I hear things I didn't hear before, and it's like I can feel its vibration all over my body. I look at things and it's like I can sense... Energy within them? I guess that's the best way to describe it. But I feel like I am walking around in a trance. I got sick for a few days, my chest felt very heavy, and my heartbeat has felt strange, like it's beating harder and more consistently. It's almost like a stone in my chest. I'd been extremely tired and felt like I had drank way too much caffeine or something, and was crashing from it. But then there was yesterday, and if what I have said makes me sound insane, trust me I thought I was too, until yesterday.

I went to go take a nap, being sick and all. I told the entity that I was sick and not feeling well. Shortly after the pain began to recede. I lay in bed for awhile, unable to sleep. Finally I felt this kind of jerk, and I felt like I was slipping or falling, and then I don't remember anything, until I was suddenly walking around my house aimlessly. I didn't really know what I was doing and I knew I had thoughts but they seemed far away. I thought about my roommate who was at the store, and I was at the store behind the counter for a few seconds, suddenly feeling like I was naked in a room full of people. But I realized very quickly that no one could see me and that I must be having an out of body experience. Just as quickly I was back at my house, walking into my bedroom, and I felt like I was hit by a barrage of images that have slowly begun to stop flashing in my mind over the last several hours. I started trying to walk into the bedroom, but then I felt dizzy, like I was going to fall. Something picked up and I was just floating, but being held, and I was set back on the bed, and I felt something like waves washing over me. The bed felt like it was moving. My ears felt like they were submerged in water. Wave after wave of some kind of warm sensation passed over me, along with the feeling of water in my ears that turned into a sort of light pressure, and I became aware again that I was in my body, and heard myself thinking "there is no way that was a dream, I was awake, I was walking around, there is no way I have been here in this bed the whole time." I was awake and my eyes were open but the sensations did not stop. I closed my eyes again and I heard voices and saw different animals. I saw the man himself standing over me wearing black armor similar to Roman armor holding a curved sword. I'm not sure if I actually saw the man for real or if that was a vision that came later, but as I said the sensations continued, and I felt like I was next to the sun, because it got really hot, warm, and there was orange light in my eyes. I heard people I knew, my family, including my mother who had passed, saying my name, saying hello. The background voice was the male voice I had been hearing over the weeks. Then I heard chimes, like wind chimes. I do not have any chimes in the house. The chimes were loud, very loud, but pleasant sounding. My eyes were opening and closing this whole time, but when the chimes started, I kept them open, because I sensed something nearby. The "waves" stopped and I felt like I was lying on a stiff board (even though my mattress is very soft). I didn't feel sick at all anymore. I could still hear the chimes even though I had been lying awake for several minutes now. I realized I couldn't move, and the lower half of my body was tingling. But I could move my head, and my arms, I moved them to assure myself I was awake and not having some kind of sleep paralysis. That's when it became apparent that the entity sought intercourse. My whole body felt like it was on fire, I was tingling everywhere, and it was pure bliss. This lasted (I figured out later, since the sun was going down when I opened my eyes, and when I left the room, it was about 7:30 pm) about an hour or so at least. His face was pressed against mine the whole time, and it felt like he was breathing in my mouth almost. That's when my roommate came home.

He turned on every light in the house and eventually entered my room. The entity tried to ignore him at first, it seemed, but then I could feel he was getting angry. I still couldn't move and my roommate was rattling on about the scratching and pounding noises in the hallway, apparently he would hear one noise, and then when he noticed the noise, he would hear it twice instead of once. I told him to leave the room, immediately. He did, and the entity continued. But my roommate was scared; he's not a very spiritual person and tends to avoid those kinds of things. He came back into my room and didn't want to leave, so I asked the entity to leave... Which it did, reluctantly, and I got up and went outside to smoke. The noises, apparently, as soon as I got up, stopped. I kind of... Wondered if maybe I caused the noises that time and not the entity? I don't know. I couldn't move, so I don't know how I could have.

Obviously, I haven't told my roommate very much about all this other than he shouldn't be afraid of it, because I am certainly not; although I imagine it could be dangerous for him if he tries to intervene, so I just try and insist to him as much as possible that there is nothing going on and that I am fine. I had at one point thought this entity was trying to communicate, but it doesn't seem that is the case. Yes, I have tried using a Ouija board and automatic writing, but no I didn't try it before until a few days ago, after it had already shown up. It is totally unresponsive, when I try to ask its name, or where it comes from, or why its here. Then again, I have never, ever been good with using Ouija boards; anytime I try the indicator just sticks to the board and doesn't move.

I don't know what to do from here. I don't know if I can do anything. It's obviously communicating something with me, but I don't know or understand it. As I said I am not afraid of it (although I will admit I was at first) and only ever feel love and softness from it. It also couldn't really be negative if the LBRP doesn't make it go away and neither does any kind of salt or holy water (which I tried when the noises were happening, in the beginning.) ... I don't know what it is or why it is and honestly the only thing I feel bothered by is that if it has "noticed" me without my doing anything to make it show up then how long before something else that IS negative, notices and shows up? I understand that opening the door for one is opening the door for many.

Any advice would be extremely appreciated at this point.