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How To Help My Daughter

 

I am just looking for some insight into how to help my daughter with her fear of ghosts. I know it is a normal reaction to be fearful, because I too am frightened when I see things that I can't explain. She often sees images in her mind's eye of ghosts, one in particular I believe to be my grandmother who passed several years ago.

When she was very young (she is currently 9), approximately 3-4 years old, she had two "imaginary" friends that she used to play with. One was very friendly and sweet and the other was quite mischievous, often causing my daughter to scold it. She no longer sees these two friends, I believe because we moved to a new home. But now she is seeing and hearing other things. She tells me that she often hears voices while she is lying in her room, and that she sees images in her mind.

Both of my children stay at home during the day now that school is out for the summer and they will often call me to tell me that they hear noises or that the lights will go on and off by themselves.

My husband has zero tolerance for talk of ghosts and doesn't believe they are possible, and he often will dismiss their accounts and scold them for believing in ghosts. I myself know that they exist because I have seen and felt them before, but to keep my husband from becoming upset, I am also forced to tell my children to dismiss them.

My question is, I know ghosts are real, my kids know ghosts are real, how do I go about acknowledging their ability to see them without frightening the daylights out of them or irritating my husband. Any suggestions are appreciated.

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The following comments are submitted by users of this site and are not official positions by yourghoststories.com. Please read our guidelines and the previous posts before posting. The author, trueckl, has the following expectation about your feedback: I will participate in the discussion and I need help with what I have experienced.

erin19 (1 stories) (41 posts)
 
7 years ago (2011-02-24)
Maybe you should show your husband this site, go on google and type in pictures of ghosts or even watch a ghost show to prove to him that ghosts are real! Hope this helped and best of luck ❤
Sara2000 (1 posts)
 
7 years ago (2010-11-16)
Hey! I'm new to this site and found your story... When I was a little girl around 4 years old... I started seeing things unexplainable. I'm 24 years old with a 4 year old who sees things too... I really don't know to much about it all. I'm still learning myself. My whole life I have seen people that's in my family... That died before I was born. I also see things that I can't quite explain and people I really don't know... I can tell you that your daughter will continue to grow and learn not to be frightened... Its a hard thing to overcome but she is strong enough to learn that she has a gift in seeing... And she will learn how to use her gift in many *Good* ways. I know it can be very agitating and scary... I also use to lay in bed and do the very same thing... A lot of what you have said reminds myself of me! If you or she needs anyone to talk to please email me...sarapugh2000 [at] yahoo.com
zzsgranny (18 stories) (3312 posts) mod
+1
7 years ago (2010-08-25)
trueckl: Thanks for updating! 😊...Sounds like good news all the way around!...Your husband sounds a lot like mine 😆...You've got a great attitude... If we expect them to accept the way we are, then we have to respect their skepticism... And honestly, that can be a good thing too... It keeps us from deeming EVERYTHING paranormal 😆
trueckl (2 stories) (11 posts)
 
7 years ago (2010-08-25)
Hi zzsgranny! No nothing new these days. I did speak with both of my children and explained to them that what they were seeing wasn't going to hurt them. I also told my daughter to tell the spirits that they were frightening her and that she wished for them to leave her alone. When I talked to her yesterday she said since she had said that to them, they no longer bother her.

I also spoke with my husband privately the other day and told him that instead of dismissing their fears and chalking it up to an overactive imagination, he should acknowledge it and offer his support to them even if he doesn't believe. I also told him that I have often seen things in the house out of the corners of my eyes that appear to be unexplainable. I went so far as to even tell him that I have seen a tall man in the house. My husband didn't bat a lash and he didn't leave, so he can't think that I am too far off my rocker. I think deep down inside he also believes, but the scientific and rational aspect of him doesn't allow him to admit it. He is forever looking for a reasonable explanation for everything. He knows that I am very intuitive and will often ask my opinion on what I feel about a person we have just met, but he doesn't allow himself to believe that it is anything more than a coincidence. That's just him I guess and that is something I can respect. We can't all be the same or this world would be a very boring place.

If anything new occurs I will let you know. In the meantime however, thanks again to you and all those that offered advice.
zzsgranny (18 stories) (3312 posts) mod
 
7 years ago (2010-08-25)
trueckl: Just checking back... Do you have any updates?... 😊 ❤
BadJuuJuu (guest)
+4
7 years ago (2010-08-24)
Asphyxia-
For a person who knows about the board, has experience and knows what they are doing, no, the board is not dangerous. For someone who is scared and desperate for answers, it is highly dangerous. Unless you intend to take Trueckl under your wing and mentor her in proper use and respect of a powerful magickal tool, don't recommend she try it.
trueckl (2 stories) (11 posts)
 
7 years ago (2010-08-23)
Alexa, sorry I forgot to mention that my son is 11. Guess I got to rambling so much that I forgot to answer that question. 😉
trueckl (2 stories) (11 posts)
 
7 years ago (2010-08-23)
Hi Alexa. Yes, I have had past experiences with both seeing ghosts as well as sensing things that are about to happen. I still see the flashes of people out the corners of my eyes. For example, I am fairly certain that there is a rather tall man that is in the house who likes to walk up on me while I am doing dishes. It is so vivid that I will actually think it's my husband who has silently crept into the room and is waiting for me to acknowledge his presence, but when I do look up, no one is there. I also see shadows in our hallway. I know it is not a reflection from car lights, because my childrens' rooms are on that end and they always have their doors closed. The hallway one happens so often that I always think it's my son sneaking out of bed and peaking around the corner at me to do his usual thing of trying to get out of going to bed, because he does that quite often, but again when I look up, he's not there.

Anyway, my mother was actually the one who spawned the gift I think. She has been known to see ghosts at times and has shared her stories with me. Both of my parents knew that there was something different about me when I was very young, so much so that my father spoke secretly with my dying grandfather and agreed upon a word that I would say in the event that there were life after death. I haven't said it yet, but I have had a handful of dreams of him over the many years, none of which have produced the "magic" word. Also, in answer to your question, my son has also seen ghosts. He has more than once seen my aunt, our dog who passed last year, my mother in-law's dog (as did I - full body, full color walking happily up to my son with tail wagging profusely - my mother in-law saw her at the same time we did and said she saw her like that quite often). In addition, he has seen my grandfather, who died well before he was even born. He has been prone to reading my mind as well. My daughter had the two "imaginary" friends when she was approximately 3 or 4 and would talk to them like a living breathing person. I never saw them, but I knew what she was seeing and I knew they weren't just "imaginary". She was never afraid of those ghosts, but now she gets freaked when she sees something that is not normally supposed to be there. Unfortunately I am sure it is due to watching things like Scooby Doo, where ghosts are made to be bad and you are supposed to be scared. I have been speaking with both of them since posting my initial story and they have been open to discussing what they see and feel and don't seem nearly as fearful since doing so. So, thank you to all of you who advised that I should speak openly with them, because it does seem to be working.

Ghost Hunter: To answer your questions, we moved into our house 5 years ago. It was built brand new. My daughter has been seeing things and hearing things since she was three or four years old. My husband's cousin often spends the night by our house and has also heard strange things in our house. I'm not sure if anyone else has seen or heard anything though.
Asphyxia (2 posts)
 
7 years ago (2010-08-22)
And just because the spirit says it's a demon, does not mean it actually is... May just want to scare you... =0) P.S. Ghost Boxes are much fun also!
Asphyxia (2 posts)
 
7 years ago (2010-08-22)
First of all... Ouija Boards are not dangerious! After years of experience I have not had a bad situation. Sure you get the "evil" spirits who curse at you. But treat them like people. They are pretty much like we are. Just on another plane... If I get someone rude I just simply tell them... "if your going to be rude then I'd like to talk to someone who wants to talk" Along the lines. You will usually find that they become extreemly apologetic and will want to talk. I have never come across a demon... Ever! I say go ahead... Give it a go. You might actually enjoy it!;0)
sunkist1220 (1 stories) (10 posts)
+2
7 years ago (2010-08-22)
I don't feel that your children should be scolded for telling you what they see. Just because your husband gets irritated doesn't mean they should have to suffer in fear and not know the truth about what is really happening. On your wedding day I do believe that you promise to each other to be there and support one another. If he supported you and was really there for you and was just genuinely concerned about his own children and taking responsibility as a father then he would listen to you and your opinions do matter. Marriage is two ways not just one. You should never hide anything from each other. He just needs to suck up his stubbornness and be open to listen to his own WIFE and help his kids.

This comment from chicalovesu92 is hidden due to low rating. Show comment

blue_raven80 (13 stories) (338 posts)
+4
7 years ago (2010-08-22)
sorry about the grammar. I was multitasking.

My son can see ghosts too and everytime he tells me that he sees a ghost in our house, I just asked him like what did the ghost told him. I know it might sound crazy but I do believe my son and I support him. I know he is telling the truth and I support him.

blue_raven80 (13 stories) (338 posts)
 
7 years ago (2010-08-22)
My son can see ghost too and what I everytime he tells me that he sees that ghost in our house, I just asked him like what did the ghost tell you. I know it might sound crazy but I do believe my son and I support him. I know he is telling the truth and I support him.
XxRawrxX (1 posts)
-2
7 years ago (2010-08-21)
I know how your children feel I am 12 and have encountered ghost threw my life my dad would always point a bible in my face and say the same thing over and over. "Does this mention ghost in it?!?" He would sometimes tell me that I was just scared. Am I yes very only because I'm not sure on what they are capable of. People think I'm crazy... Am I nope but I'm not normal eaither. I suggest you tell your children to ask them what the ghost want but then again these could be angry ghost so its a risk hope this helps:)
courtneyOMGG (12 stories) (179 posts)
 
7 years ago (2010-08-21)
Hi there and thanks for sharing your story!
As you can see spirits too, and you also believe in them, I believe you should tell her not to be afraid, and that if she does become afraid just tell her that it's okay to ask it to go away.
And also just tell her that you'll be there for her if she wants to talk about any experiences she has.
Let her know that the gift she has is very positive, and she should feel special to have it:)
Take care

C
X0XjammyX0X (7 posts)
 
7 years ago (2010-08-21)
i think the ghost in your house are very friendly and fond off your children. I think they don't mean any harm or to scare your children it just happens by acciedent. You see the reason you may not have seen many in your new home is because children are closer and more purer - don't ask me why. This ables them to see and hear more than adults. I admit I am only very young, basicly a child myself, but because of the many many incidents that have happened to me I know how they feel. It's scary and I get too scared at night to even go in my room, but I convince myself that I'm safe.
What I recomend is that you go into the room at night with her and convince her that there is nothing in there. You could do this by checking the wardrobes and checking what are causing all the shadows in the room that often makes children feel safe. If none of these work and the sightings get worse find an ivestigation team to check it out and they could offer you some advice.
GhostHunterUk2010 (3 posts)
 
7 years ago (2010-08-21)
To help you I need a bit more infomation

*When did you move to your new house?

*how long has she been seeing and hearing things for?

*Has any one else had any experiance with this? Eg:grand parents
AlexaBredon (6 posts)
+1
7 years ago (2010-08-20)
To Trueckl,
It seems that your daughter and most likely son both have the gift of sight (seeing spirits) also I think you do as well. Most spirits are kind and just lost, the only thing you could do for your daughter is be there for her and listen to her. As for your husband you need to take him aside and explain to him that it's not right for him to scold the children for something they can't control.I'm not saying he'll become a believer but he should not dismiss what they tell him he needs to have an open mind.
Your daughter will only continue to fear the spirits because he doesn't believe her.
I think you and your children may have underlying gifts that are just surfacing, your daughters seem to manifest when she was 3 or 4.How old is your son if I may ask? Also did you have experiences when you were younger also or just recently? If you would like email me and I'll try to help you.

This comment from Kericho is hidden due to low rating. Show comment

blufairy (1 posts)
+4
7 years ago (2010-08-20)
the best weapon against fear is education. You should try and learn more about ghosts and such so you can teach your children. As part of a marriage you should be able to teach your children your beliefs let your husband know he also has the right to do the same your kids will choose on their own. The more they know the less afraid they will be. 😁
bbsgurl1023 (11 posts)
 
7 years ago (2010-08-20)
if your kids are really scared you could ahve a paranormal invastigative team come in a investigate your home when your husband is away sometime. This will give you and your kids a better understanding of what is going on and most fear is simply casued by being faced with the unknown. Many local paranormal groups will do home investigations like that for free. Good Luck 😊
Lilady4 (7 stories) (425 posts)
 
7 years ago (2010-08-20)
Hi trueckl
Just encorage your children to be open around you, but not to your husband. Do you have a religion that you follow (Christian, etc)?. Accept that this will probably happen, you just have to be open to it and let your kids be open as well.
Love & Light, Rachel ❤
Moongrim (2 stories) (871 posts)
 
7 years ago (2010-08-19)
Cold Iron in folklore is often used as a bane against evil spirits AND it is used as a Good Luck charm as well.

To the kids a horseshoe can be a charm against Ghosts. The old man it's an old fashioned 'good luck charm'. You don't have to lie to him, you just don't mention the kind of luck you want to is to be free of ghosts, and therefore good.

Http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Iron_in_folklore
trueckl (2 stories) (11 posts)
+3
7 years ago (2010-08-19)
Thank you for your insight on all of this, it has been very helpful. Perhaps though I painted a bad image of my husband in the way I worded things in my initial post. Though I would agree that he is ignorant at times, he is not in any way, shape or form violent or anything. On the contrary, he is a very sweet, loving and usually patient and tolerant man. I believe his reaction to ghosts is due to the fact that as we are growing up, we are often told that ghosts are a figment of an overactive imagination by the vast majority of people. So, to prevent people from thinking we are insane, we begin to convince ourselves that there really are no ghosts. Some of us manage to escape that and continue to believe, while the "my husband's" of the world, refuse to allow ourselves to believe, simply out of fear of ghosts or fear of what people might think. Who knows, perhaps deep down inside he really does believe, but to keep up the machismo front that most guys possess, he "has" to say that he doesn't so that he can keep his children safe from the fear they feel. I know you mean well Pjod, but despite his obvious flaw, I think I will hesitate in giving him the boot for the time being 😁. I have talked with my daughter and that did help until my son informed her that he saw what appeared to be a ghost cat walk into her room. Needless to say, despite the fact that it was a cat and nothing to fear, she was terrified just because it was a ghost. In the meantime I will continue my vigil to help her overcome her fear and keep you posted as I go. Zzsgranny - thank you, I found your post very comforting and helpful and I will do just that!
Pendragon (6 stories) (296 posts)
+1
7 years ago (2010-08-19)
Trueckl - You can;t keep telling your children that they're wrong. I know, growing up, when my parents didn't believe me about the ghosts in the basement, it made me feel like I was stupid, and that what I believed in, and my thoughts, were never going to be supported by my family. I felt like my parents thought I was making things up because I wanted the attention, which wasn't it. I hated every moment in that house, and no one would believe me as to why. It makes you feel abandoned.

You should talk to your children about this, while the hubby is at work or what have you, and let them know why you haven't acknowledged it. I agree with Biblefreeme, Granny, and BJJ. It's almost unfair of you to hide this and lie to your children. I don't know about you, but as a human, I don't like being lied to. I hate it. It breaks my heart. Imagine how your children must feel.

After you've talked to your kids, maybe pull your hubby aside and talk to him. You do need to tell him that your children genuinely believe that they see these things, even if he doesn't. The two of you, together, have to show them that not all spirits are bad, and that some just want attention, love, and compassion before they can move on to their final rest, or to their next incarnation, if you believe in that.

You have to work on making your husband not such a harsh skeptic, I think. He should not be scolding children for seeing ghosts - they can't help it. Even if he chalks it up to imagination, he should be enthusiastic and supportive, so that their minds continue to flourish in a creative way (I actually believe they're actually seeing and experiencing spirits), which he appears to not be doing.

It sounds like your ghosts just want to be noticed, and accepted. PLEASE encourage your children's talents and gifts, and tell them that there's nothing to fear. They are not all bad, and in fact, most of them are very kind, just very lost.

Biblefreeme - I agree about the Karma points. I feel mad when I lose a point, and my mental self goes, "Wait - WHAT!? What did I say this time!?" Someone voted me down a Karma point on my own story, because I told a commenter, who thought I was afraid of my guardians, that she misunderstood what I wrote, and that she should re-read my story. Hate those stupid down votes 😭

End of another super-long rant!
Penny ❤
biblefreeme (2 stories) (137 posts)
+2
7 years ago (2010-08-19)
wow I can't believe how many of you gave points on this I thought id lose them glad I didn't though I get a lovely warm fuzzy when I get a karma point its great when someone says well said I'snt it. Wicked idea Martin (when its used properly)
Pjod (3 stories) (978 posts)
-2
7 years ago (2010-08-19)
IIYIIYI!
How can a Father be so ignorant. To scold his kids, over something he has no understanding of. His fear... But mostly, his ego, will cause your children to eventually have low self esteem. Trust me on that. I believe in doing everything one can to keep their family together. However, when children start to suffer, because of the actions or words of your spouse, it is time to give him the boot. I would sit your man down, be firm, and tell him he better lighten up with the kids over this subject, or you will be leaving him.
cosmogal926 (9 stories) (1223 posts)
+4
7 years ago (2010-08-19)
I was thinking the same thing biblefreeme. You took the words right out of my mouth. I also agree with BadJuuJuu and granny. Supressing the issue will only make it worse later on. Talk to your children about what they are experiencing and in turn share yours with them. Do you think maybe your husband has a fear of ghosts himself, and this is his way of hiding it? You can try telling your husband that it's ok if he doesn't believe in ghosts, but your children do, and it's important to listen to them and be supportive. I hope everything works out ok. Keep us posted. Thanks and good luck 😊
zzsgranny (18 stories) (3312 posts) mod
+6
7 years ago (2010-08-19)
trueckl: Seems like a lot of us have that problem, huh? 😆...Here's how I handled it: I talked to my kids, and then simply explained to my husband OUR beliefs... I think initially, you should talk to your kids privately, and tell them that you do, indeed, believe them... Share some of your own experiences with them... I don't think it's wise to try to hide your beliefs from him, as this could cause rifts in the relationship in other areas, so he'll eventually have to be included...

I would also explain to your kids that being startled is a natural reaction, we all are at times!...Spirits aren't here to scare us... Explain the different types of hauntings to them, inteligent and residual, and have them try to figure out what it is they're experiencing... If you get them on the quest for information, it lessens the fear and they actually begin to welcome "visits", if for no other reason than to figure them out!...

Good luck, and keep us posted ❤

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