As far as I can remember since my childhood I would say I have always been a bit of an outcast, quite, kind of a recluse... I always had a feeling I was different. I had imaginary friends, felt I was a real witch (laugh out loud) I just didn't feel as if I was a normal healthy happy child. Years went on and I did my best to be normal it was not until I was about 12 I became obsessed with vampire. By age 14 I was showing an interest in the occult. However I did manage to go through a short phase of an extreme Christianity but by age of 15 I went back and started to study witchcraft. The years did go on as I grew older and throughout high school I was yet again an outcast. I started to dress Gothic, listen to Marilyn Manson, began cutting, and writing deep dark poetry of demons, ghosts, and spirits. I was not allowed to have any sort of Ouija boards, tarot cards or books whilst living with my mom. At age 19 was when it all began...
I began hanging out in old abandoned cemeteries, meeting other fellow pagans, learning more about dark arts, vampires, interests with Crowley, the book of the necronomicon, and yours truly the Satanic bible. November 2000 was the night my life changed.
I was out with a friend and we went to the bay bluffs, we sat on the shore smoking cigarettes, talking and star gazing. A group of young men all black approached us and asked me if I would be interested in helping them out with a favor. Being young and dumb I at the time agreed. I told my friend I would be right back but that he was more than welcomed to tag along and help too. The guys led me to an area near the woods and asked me to lie down on this huge inverted pentagram they had drawn in the sand... My body tingled in excitement; they then placed small daggers at my hands, and feet and a sword at the top of my head. I will have to admit I did find it funny and entertaining because I thought this was all part of a joke or show with some guys wanting to be cool... They then light some candles and start chanting... The leader of the group then leans down by my head and literally bites deep into my neck, and the other 2 guys and my friend watch in terror... He then moves to my wrists and feeds from there. It was scary but yet I wanted and craved more. I know you are all thinking this is made up or probably sick but it really happened. I went home that night thought nothing of it, the wounds were fine... I felt fine. Life went on! It was not until about August of 2001 where minor weird things started to happen...
I began to feel I was constantly being watched, followed or stared at... I'd see black shadows bolt out from the corner of my eye but I ignored it. But I felt on edge and uneasy. September 2002 was the first time the attacks began I was at my husband's (ex) aunt's house and while he was at work she and I talked and she told me how her mother died in the house and was buried in the cemetery in the back yard. I thought nothing of it really and went to bed. I remember at 5am the alarm clock going off I saw my husband get out of bed... Even spoke to him, watched him go into the bathroom in the hallway, etc... All the sudden I couldn't move... I felt restrained to the bed as if someone was sitting on top of me holding me down in place and sucking the life right out of me. I was breaking into sweats, chills. I tried to scream out for my husband who was still in the bathroom getting ready for work. I could see the alarm clock, the TV. On and even his aunt walked out of her room and down the hallway.
My husband finally came out of the bathroom and walked past me and the feeling grew stronger. I was trying hard to move but couldn't'. The clock read 5:15am. My husband finally came back into the room and said my name and I broke free from whatever was attacking me. I told him about it and he said I was probably asleep dreaming with my eyes open. I did not want to rule that out so I let it go and forgot it ever happened.
Years passed, I had my son and life seemed pretty good for me, no attacks... No nightmares. I was finally feeling free from my past until 2006 came and this is where it got stronger, deeper and more thrilling.
It was about the end of July when I woke up from a dream I had had and I got out of bed and got online and told my friend whom I had never met in person about it. I trusted him with it because we had been online pals for almost 2 years and he was my go to guy when I had a crisis or needed advice. I told him all about the dream from the place I was in, the people there, the glass of water I had drunk and beyond. He then told me it seemed strange because the house I described matched his house and the car I mentioned sounded like a friend of his and the weather setting seemed like November time where he lived. I thought he was pulling my leg and asked he email me a picture of his house from the front and then from the doorway... He did and my jaw dropped it was everything in my dream... I then began freaking out it seemed so odd to dream a dream like that.
Later that week I was talking to another friend whom was friends with him and he told me how the other friend told him about my dream and he said he too had a dream about a girl with dark hair, green eyes who was short and seemed frightened but it was a girl he had never seen before and she was trapped in a closet. He asked if I would email a photo of myself and I did... He said I was that girl. So the 3 of us in different areas of the US and Canada area began freaking out but not as bad as me. I became obsessed with it. I went to a local friend and asked him about it and he gave me a book to read "The Witches Almanac 2006" I skipped ahead and went to my zodiac and read... Got to September it says... "Family crisis perhaps a divorce or split up, confusion, be aware to your surroundings" October- "you will take a trip outside of where you live, perhaps a new country... You have a mission you are seeking, new beginnings wait." November "disappointment is headed your way... Approach with caution things will not be what they present themselves as". I was speechless at this point didn't know what to say or do. My best friend suggested making an appointment with a local psychic and seek advice. So she and I made an appointment and went to see the psychic.
The psychic took me into a room anointed me with oil and did her reading she too told me the same thing I read about previously. She also told me someone involved was putting on an act to gain my trust. She also said my husband was going to leave me and take my son too. She told me about the time I did a ritual and how I had 7 demons around me and had opened a door to a dark portal and that I would be going on a trip and I need protection other than a cross necklace or bible. Keep in mind please I did not tell her anything more than the names of my two friends, where they lived, and my name. I left her house and felt strange all day.
The next day got much worse I felt weird all day no appetite, isolating myself, didn't want company and even argued with my husband when he asked if I wanted to have dinner with his friend who was a preacher. I went to bed that night not feeling well. The next day my husband tells me he came to bed and saw me in a awkward position in bed and said I had strange behavior that when he came to bed I was arched up, hands against head board as if tied or held... Body somewhat sprawled out, eyes rolled back, head back and I was making weird noises and speaking in tongues and said the words Valknot. He asked me and near begged me to see his preacher friend and get help that only made me angrier...
My nightmares grew... And by September my husband left. End of October I went away to visit my friends I had never met... Halloween happened (I care to not say due to the morbidness and personal decision) I returned home... Me and my husband tried to reconcile but it failed... All was happening like predicted. May came and I went through more events that traumatized me and summer 2007 I moved back home with my mom and shortly after visited overseas... It was not until late 2007 it happened again.
I woke up and felt l like I was being attacked... Someone sitting on me sucking life out of me but this time I had a severe headache and couldn't even move my mouth... I kept telling myself in my mind to wake up... Snap out of it... But I couldn't. When I finally pulled through I saw a dark hooded shadowy figure bolt out of the room. This happened to me 2-3 times a week every other week. I'd tell my boyfriend then about it and he said it was my imagination but if it happened again to wake him up... How was I supposed to if I couldn't move? So one night in bed it happened again. I was awake feeling feverish... I could see my boyfriend asleep next to me... I broke out into chills... Couldn't move... Started trying to scream out but all that came out was a raspy whisper, this time I had tears forming and I was fighting to move... I managed to use the bedding of my finger tips and dig my nails into my boyfriend to wake him up. He wake up and flipped the lights on and he was staring at me he said my name and put his arms around me and calmed me down... I see the figure yet again bolt out of the door and to God knows where.
My boyfriend says when he flipped on the lights I looked pale and petrified this continued to happen but not as much when we slept closer together and me sleeping on nights when he would stay up late on the p.c. Gaming. Time went on and it rarely happened anymore and if it did I ignored it. It was not until 2009 it happened again but at my mom's house and on some nights I would be up reading or on the p.c.
I recall one night seeing the shadow figure by my window move across the wall to the foot of my bed and vanish; sometimes I'd see it by the door to my room as if it was waiting for me to fall asleep. I told my mom of this and she said it was probably my imagination running wild or too much gaming or not sleeping well. I have also noticed as well a cigar smell in my room, hearing water bottles pop, sometimes voices and seeing shadowy bugs, flying things and of course my shadowy guest.
My boyfriend who I am with now gave me a tiger's eye and it hangs about my headboard and I keep sage and incense around to ward it off but it does not help much.
It is now 2010 and it only happens every other month or so and about 1 or 2 times when it does... I have just kind of learned to deal with it, its apparent it follows me where I go... And seems to not want to leave just yet. I reckon as long as I can live with it, it won't hurt me... I do sometimes give it offerings rather it's a cigarette or a candy or something. I just feel this is my personal demon, ghost or incubus and it plans on sticking around. I also learned if you show fear or make it angry it only gets worse.
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