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triden07 (70 stories) (279 posts)
+1
11 years ago (2012-11-13)
Fergie

No parent should have to face this. I speak from my own experience, it's been 4 years since I went through this pain, and as I wrote it this morning I balled my eyes out. It changes a person on so many levels.

This story is going into my favorites ❀
Fergie (40 stories) (1159 posts)
 
11 years ago (2012-11-13)
Triden,
It is so shattering, when the 'natural order' of things, is upset! A piece of your heart is wrenched away, never to be replaced.

Thank you for your condolences; I am happy, if I could inspire you to write another account. Your accounts have been breath-taking! ❀
triden07 (70 stories) (279 posts)
+1
11 years ago (2012-11-13)
Fergie
I read this story and could relate on so many levels. A parent should never have to be the one to bury a child, it is supposed to be the other way around. My condolences for your loss of your beautiful Angel. This story inspired me to submit one of my own.
God bless xxx
Fergie (40 stories) (1159 posts)
+1
11 years ago (2012-11-13)
Newhunter I thank you for the compliment. Some days are better than others. I must admit though, I have never spent a whole day weeping. I still have to 'support' my hubby, he has taken the whole business far harder than me - he was in denial, until the end. It has been a very bitter pill for him to swallow!

Newhunter, thank you for reading, and your comment.
beautifuleden (2 stories) (66 posts)
+2
11 years ago (2012-11-13)
Fergie, you are so strong and brave... I totally understand where Angel's dad is coming from, I have also had 2 experiences which have left me very angry with "the Man upstairs", after so many years, I can't bring myself to forgive Him... Hopefully, one day we will understand the reasons behind these bad times ❀
Fergie (40 stories) (1159 posts)
 
11 years ago (2012-11-13)
JS: I thank you for your comment.

I just KNOW, in my heart of hearts, that we shall meet again. That is the one thing that keeps me from being 'bitter'. Her dad is very angry with 'The Man upstairs', for taking Angel so soon; for not healing her.

Thanks again JS, for your message of hope. 😊
newhunter30 (2 stories) (137 posts)
+1
11 years ago (2012-11-12)
Fergie as far as your comment "Sorry for the late reply, but I have had to answer in stages. I am not as strong as I thought I was" I would have to strongly disagree with you, it takes a lot of strength to let people in on your personal life let alone something this personal. I personally believe that you are very strong.
Jesus_soldier (guest)
+1
11 years ago (2012-11-12)
Fergie: It's hard to even comment right now. I just want to say that Angel is at peace now, an she wants the same for her love ones. I believe that you will reunite down the road. Thank you for sharing this beautiful story.

JS aka Brandon ❀
Fergie (40 stories) (1159 posts)
 
11 years ago (2012-11-12)
Beautifuleden: Thank you for your empathy.

I agree, it must be terribly difficult to leave your daughter behind, especially at such a young age. Luckily, Nicky and Angel had an agreement, that if anything happened, Nicky would take Shenay. Nicky kept her promise, and it seems as if Angel is 'at peace' with the way things are going.

Thank you for your comment (sorry about your mascara!)
beautifuleden (2 stories) (66 posts)
+1
11 years ago (2012-11-12)
Aw Fergie, this story has literally taken my breath away! I am feeling your sadness! And feel for Angel having to leave her little girl behind, that is my biggest fear! Thank you for sharing, I am now going to fix my running mascara! Xxxxxxx ❀
Fergie (40 stories) (1159 posts)
 
11 years ago (2012-11-12)
Rook,

I am so sorry, I never meant to cause you embarrassment, in front of your colleagues. I humbly beg your pardon.

I have been led to believe that Angel is constantly watching over her daughter. Apparently, last week, Nicky had a new 'client' at her house (she is a 'nail technician in her spare time). After the client was greeted and seated, by Shenay, Shenay left the 'salon'. The client very delicately asked if Nicky knew that there was 'someone else' in the house. Nicky replied, that it was probably her sister! The lady said that the female figure that she saw, gave off a "very calm vibe"...This from a complete stranger?

Thank you Rook, for reading, and your comment.
rookdygin (24 stories) (4458 posts)
+2
11 years ago (2012-11-12)
Fergie,

Thank you so much for sharing this with us (and for the tissue warning) I've received many 'Are you alright?' questions here at work... Like 8 out of the 12 people here 'on site' have wondered about my tears.

Things like this are never easy, it is nice to know that through signs or visitations our Loved Ones can 'show' us that they have 'moved on' and are watching over us and that everything is Ok.

Respectfully,

Rook
Fergie (40 stories) (1159 posts)
+1
11 years ago (2012-11-11)
Dear Miracles, I posted my 'warning' especially for you, and others who share your acute abilities. I quite understand, if you don't read this account. I wouldn't like to inflict on you, a fraction of my anguish. 😐

Thank you so much, for leaving a comment in recognition of my experiences. 😊 ❀
Fergie (40 stories) (1159 posts)
+1
11 years ago (2012-11-11)
Callthewind,
You are welcome.
It has been about 10 years since I lost a loved one. At that point in time, I wasn't looking looking out for 'signs', although, on reflection, they were there! If only I had taken more note...

You are correct, when you mention the 'connection' between Angel, Shenay and I. I have the utmost conviction, that it will continue. It is a link that has been forged, that will never be broken.

Shenay is coping remarkably well, thank you, and I pray that it will continue that way. Luckily, her grandfather and I have never been 'strangers' in her life. She has spent nearly half of her little life in our house; where there is an abundance of love.
😁
Miracles51031 (39 stories) (4999 posts) mod
+1
11 years ago (2012-11-10)
Fergie - you know I won't be reading this one, but I wanted to thank you for the "tissue warning" at the beginning 😊 ❀
callthewind (17 posts)
 
11 years ago (2012-11-10)
Fergie,

Thank you for your response it means a lot to me 😳

I am fascinated by the signs we receive before, during, and after a loved one passes. Maybe you and Sheney share a special psychic connection. I read in one of your stories (Randfontein Mine House) that paranormal events started occurring to you when Angel was born (1970, 3rd child). It is easy to believe she has linked an ability to you and your grandchild, hence the timely shared omens.

I hope Shenay is coping well with her mother's passing at the present time and continues to, in the future, nurture a connection with her.

*❀*
Fergie (40 stories) (1159 posts)
 
11 years ago (2012-11-10)
Samtillie, I appreciate your sweet comment, thank you.

Some time in the past, I mentioned that I love my computer; all my friends are in it! ❀
If everyone else has said it, it means that your sentiments are the same; for that I thank you too; I also thank you for the lovely compliment!

Lots of hugs back at you samtillie.
(from your Black eyed pea LOL)
Fergie (40 stories) (1159 posts)
 
11 years ago (2012-11-10)
Thank you rebskp, for your words of praise; I am humbled.
OMG, you mean that you haven't had a 'natural' death in the family for SO long? How on earth do the family cope? I am really so saddened by this revelation of yours. You truly have my sympathies!

Thank you so much for your condolences.
samtillie (5 stories) (242 posts)
+1
11 years ago (2012-11-10)
Awww Fergie, (my black eyed pea haha) such a passionate, well written story. So sad for you and your families loss, it's so nice that you thank people for the comforting words. I don't know what else to post... As everyone so far has said it. Lots of hugs xx
rebskp (15 posts)
+1
11 years ago (2012-11-10)
What a amazing story, it's certainly going into my favorites. I know what it feels like to lose someone to the "big C" since everyone in my family for the past 50 years has passed because of that. My condolences to you and your family. This was a very touching story brought tears to my eyes. Stay strong.

Rebskp
Fergie (40 stories) (1159 posts)
 
11 years ago (2012-11-10)
Thank you granny, for your warm and caring words, they are appreciated as much now, as they were a few months ago.

I must be honest, I wrote this account, as a therapeutic 'exercise', also to record for Shenay, in case she asks any details at a future date. I do keep a journal now, (thanks to Miracles) but this is now part of it.

Nicky has now stepped forward, to claim Shenay as her 'own', as Ray and I are too old and decrepit to take care of her full time. Shenay spends at least one weekend with us, a month. Thank heavens, Shenay was born into a family who believes her, when she claims to have seen and inter-acted with her Mommy. No, the bond will never be broken...

By the way, you are welcome, for the 'warning'.
😊 ❀
zzsgranny (18 stories) (3329 posts) mod
+1
11 years ago (2012-11-10)
Fergie: I can't even begin to imagine the magnitude of yours and your family's pain... I know this was hard for you write, but one thing I believe is writing helps us heal... Thank you for sharing such a personal experience...

The connection of Mother/Daughter is exemplified by the relationships of not only you and Angel, but her and Shenay, too... That connection doesn't just disappear when someone passes... I feel she'll always be there for you and your family, and especially little Shenay...

Thank you for the tissue warning ❀ ❀ ❀
Fergie (40 stories) (1159 posts)
+3
11 years ago (2012-11-10)
Dear sweet Ari,
Sorry for the late reply, but I have had to answer in stages. I am not as strong as I thought I was.

All the lovely responses have left me misty-eyed and with a lump in my throat. 😲

Thank you for your comments Ari, I appreciate them.
❀
Fergie (40 stories) (1159 posts)
+2
11 years ago (2012-11-10)
Hi Argette, thank you for your in-put. 😊
Since Angel passed away, I too have been told various tales about birds; messengers of one sort or another. It is strange, how 'after the fact', you find out these things. It is the first time though, that I hear of birds bringing comfort. Please don't construe this comment as critical, just the fact that I am ignorant of it.

Mmmm...now that you mention it, I have also heard of 'shadows gathering' prior to a death. Thank you Argette for reminding me, I had forgotten.

The same birthday, you say? Down to the year? Wow! Also your grand-mother's name? Gee! That is a coincidence, eh? I can quite see how this all captured your attention!

Thank you so much for reading, and your great comment.
Fergie (40 stories) (1159 posts)
+1
11 years ago (2012-11-10)
Callthewind. Now YOU are one of the reasons, why we put our experiences 'out there'! Thank you firstly, for your sympathies; secondly, for your perspective. It never dawned on me, to link Shenay's dream and the Robin! (Or should I say, the time-line.) That was a brilliant observation! I now too, wonder if there could be a link?!

Thank you callthewind, for your warm wishes. 😊and your comment.
Fergie (40 stories) (1159 posts)
+2
11 years ago (2012-11-10)
Thanks shellzy, I knew I could count on you to read. 😊 Sorry for your tears.

Angel fought so bravely, to stave off the inevitable. She actually omitted to tell me (and her dad) the true extent of her condition, and Nicky kept 'mum' too! Angel had prepared herself for the end, and 'conditioned' her seven year old daughter to expect it.

Yes shellzy, every now and then, I get a scent or aroma that reminds me of Angel... Sausages frying, or the smell of strong 'rooibos' tea. She loved them both; so I know that she visits me on occasion. I have never heard her voice though... She reserves that for her Dad!

I was there to witness her first breath... And her last; some would say that is a privilege...
πŸ€”
Thank you for your comment shellzy, I really appreciate it.
Sceptic-Ari (2 stories) (611 posts)
+2
11 years ago (2012-11-10)
Dear Fergie,

Thank You.

Thank You for sharing this with us.

Means a lot.

Love
Sceptic-Ari (2 stories) (611 posts)
+1
11 years ago (2012-11-10)
Dear Fergie,
I have still not gathered enough heart/courage to read this story. 😒

Regards
Fergie (40 stories) (1159 posts)
+2
11 years ago (2012-11-10)
newhunter30, this was the most difficult story that I have EVER had to write! I had to sit with a box of tissues myself!

Thank you for your condolences; for reading, and your comment. ❀
Fergie (40 stories) (1159 posts)
+2
11 years ago (2012-11-10)
Thank you faith, for your condolences. To know that Angel is in a happier place and pain free, is the only consolation that we have.

My heart goes out to all those families who have been through anything similar. I know how devastating it can be. 😭
Thank you faith17 for your comment. ❀
Argette (guest)
+2
11 years ago (2012-11-09)
What a sad and lovely story. I was drawn in immediately, because your Angel was born on my birthday. Her name, Angelique, is the name of my grandmother.

I do believe birds are harbingers, messengers and guardians. They can also be comforters.

The shadow you saw: Many many yeas ago I read of reports that near death such shadows or energy masses are not uncommon.

Thank you, Fergie.
callthewind (17 posts)
+1
11 years ago (2012-11-09)
This is a lovingly bittersweet account and my sympathies are with you and yours. Thank you for sharing this beautiful story about Angel.

Maybe you have thought this before, but I noticed you saw the robin near the same time Shenay was waking with her nightmare. I wonder, could there be a correlation here?

Plenty of warm wishes your way ❀
shellzy (8 stories) (218 posts)
+1
11 years ago (2012-11-09)
Oh Fergie, I have read this over 3 times and I have tears pouring down my face. I'm so sorry for the loss of your beautiful daughter, and such a beautiful name - Angel.

I think Angel knew it was her time to go and her daughter knew too. I think also the shadow that passed over her was very likely your Dad ready to take Angel on her new journey to the beyond. I find great peace in this just knowing that your loved ones will be with you when you cross over and I'm glad your Dad could be there with her.

I feel she will always be with you and your family and how wonderful that she was with your husband on his Birthday and let him know.

I think the interpretation of the dream you had was spot on. As sad it is, you were indeed together until the end and that is all that matters ❀

Thanks for sharing such a personal story Fergie. I'm going to put this in my favourites ❀
newhunter30 (2 stories) (137 posts)
+2
11 years ago (2012-11-09)
This was a very touching story and I must admit that it brought tears to my eyes. I am very sorry for your loss but must say I'm glad she is no longer suffering. I am sure this was not any easy story to write or share and would like to thank you for sharing it with us.
faith17 (3 stories) (29 posts)
+2
11 years ago (2012-11-09)
😭 WAAAHHHH! I am in tears! So sad! My condolences to you and your family! So sorry for your loss! At the same time this is such a heart touching story. I am glad you were there to speak to her one last time. Yes she is in a much happier place now considering people with the "big C" suffer tremendously. God bless your Angel's soul. ❀

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