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Profile for Bibliothecarius

(5 stories) (742 posts) (karma: 1025 points)

United States
1.🇬🇧 English; moved to the US in 1988.

2. I am a High School English Teacher (I have taught college & night school courses, too); I am also the school Librarian. I read about all the branches of human endeavor: Literature, History, Politics, Philosophy, Religion, Biography, Biology & Botany, Quantum Physics & Astrophysics, Cooking, Baking & Decorating Desserts, Crimes & Laws, the Arts, Music, Exploration, Geology, Schools/Eras of Architecture & Interior Design, Meteorology, Archaeology, Mythology, Anthropology, etc.

3. I had multiple paranormal experiences, particularly as a child/young adult; now, as an adult, they only seem to occur when I am relaxed.
3a. Addendum: In 2016, I have discovered that my "metacognitive" abilities (some dream-state precognition, but mostly wide-awake post-cognitive images/sensations/emotions,) seem to be far more powerful and clear when I'm under stress. This makes no sense whatsoever to me, as I thought tranquility was necessary to develop these abilities; however, I'm learning to accept the sudden flashes of immersive-insight to past events.

4. Married to a beautiful, kind, erudite, and intellectually-argumentative American Catholic redhead. (Every time I see this line, I just want to shout, "Yes!")

5. Raised Protestant, now Agnostic. I do believe in the human spirit/soul/wavelengths/vibrations/whatever, but my belief in the "supernatural" element of humanity does not constitute proof of any sort of Deity, Pantheon, Committee, etc. Being Agnostic means a "live and let live" attitude; I'm willing to understand another's perspective - even when I disagree completely.

6. Argumentative by nature; critical thinking, logic, and alternative explanations are the reasons I've continued to read this site for the last decade. (I suppose that sounds like a creepy lurker; that's not what I intended... Damn it, I'll just move on to my next point.)

7. Nothing offends my sensibilities more than willful ignorance and ad hominem attacks.

8. Great respect for Rook's comments/advice to others over the last few years; ditto BadJuuJuu; and for SDS's insightful questioning/debunking.
--As of June 29th 2015, I'm adding Tweed to this list! Tweed's ideas often echo my own thoughts, but she usually has a 5-hour head start on the comments. July 26th, 2015: Hecate's on here, too, because she provides interesting examples to support and to question my comments!
--Miracles should have been on here before now, as she presents clear, sensible discussion points, and remains extraordinarily calm for someone with access to a "Delete" button! (Granny Weatherwax said it best: "Learnin' how not to do things is as hard as learning how to do them. Harder, maybe. There'd be a sight more frogs in this world if I didn't know how not to turn people into them." -Terry Pratchett.)
--July 7th, 2016: Valkricry resolved an emotionally-fraught experience in my childhood with a simple observation! I feel overjoyed! She's been one of my favorite posters for a while, now; she just made it onto my "favorite people, ever" list!

9. After the YGS forum suffered a bout of plagiarism in early 2017, I was irritated to discover one of my narratives posted without credit on a website. The extent to which I traced the individual who had stolen my work (his name, his phone number in Korea, his address & post code, the 22 other websites listed in his name, etc.) can be found in the comments to the story "A Clash of Personalities." I ended the list of data with a great Neil Gaiman quote: "Rule Number One: Don't f*** with librarians."
Favorite Ghost Stories

Favorite stories are bookmarked with the little heart icon on the top right corner of a ghost story.

Ghost Stories from Bibliothecarius

Metallic Manifestations on 2017-05-15

It has been a while since I posted a story on YGS, and I've seriously considered not submitting this one. Oddly, I haven't finished typing up a different story because it sounds fake to me, even though my family all swear to the truth of it. (It's a weird habit to have: writing out YGS stories and *...

A Clash Of Personalities on 2016-09-08

In the very late 1990s, I was renting the basement of my parents' fifth American home (they do move a lot!) while I sorted out my post-Bachelor's Degree plans. I'd been accepted to Grad School to earn a Master's Degree in Literature, but I needed to find a place to live in Worcester, Massachusetts. ...

My Parents' Second House on 2016-07-25

I recently submitted a story about an unseen presence which made me uneasy in my parents' first home. In a very slow version of what is now called "property flipping," my parents improved that house to make it more valuable, so they could sell it and move into a nicer house a couple of miles away in...

My Parents' First House on 2016-06-15

After my brother and I were born, my parents got married and bought a very small house about 2 blocks from my dad's parents' home. This was a terrace house, just off the Uppingham Road in Leicester, which was built such that the fronts of all of the houses along that side of the street formed a sing...

Grandad's Carved Bust on 2015-09-10

I began writing a reply to a discussion of "The Haunted Bed Frames" (http://www.yourghoststories.com/real-ghost-story.php?story=22401#comment), when I realized that I'd written over half of a story which may be worth of submitting to YGS in its own right. Chronologically, this is the third haunting ...

Last 20 posts from Bibliothecarius
Date: 2017-10-14
Thanks, Granny!

I knew about the Amish using electricity for woodwork and cabinetry: my in-laws visited them when ordering their kitchen cabinets when they remodeled their house. My father-in-law (who also works in manufacturing) described the huge knife-blade switch (think "Frankenstein" in black-and-white) next to the entrance. Only specific community leaders had been given the authority to throw the master switch to complete the circuit for the band saws, table saws, drills, etc. When the day was done, they'd sweep up, turn the switch off, and head back home in their horse-drawn buggies.

I'd forgotten an odd -but relevant- story from when I was learning to drive on American highways. I was fine with country lanes in central Mass, but terrified of the merges into traffic from the on-ramps. My dad hd a solution.

A contextual sidebar: Dad's idea for a "confidence building" exercize the day before my Driving Test was to make me navigate through Kelley Square, Worcester, **TWICE!** in a stick-shift. (Seriously, look at Kelley Square: i39.tinypic.com/10nbzw2.jpg; it is a seven-way intersection of --officially-- only three roads, with about 2 stop signs situated on islands in the junction, 4 yield signs, no traffic lights, one gas station with multiple entrances and exits and -when not filled with bustling traffic- looks like a badly-organized Sears parking lot. Time lapse video clip here: youtube.com/watch?v=cC6PlBEepaE).

Dad's solution (why I was still listening to his advice at this point mystifies me) was to drive on the Mass Pike. I was to use one of the on-ramps that was not immediately followed by an off-ramp [anyone who has driven on the Mass Pike, feel free to back me up on that real phenomenon!]. This would prevent people in the middle lane from swerving across the slow lane and into the exit lane that -for me- would still be the end of my on-ramp. I managed to get onto The Pike in the slow lane and I was travelling at 45 mph. My confidence was building, so I sped up to 55 mph (that used to be the speed limit), but suddenly found myself approaching a late-seventies Datsun that appeared to be stuck in second gear. I panicked, signaled to switch to the middle lane, double-and-triple-checked every mirror, looked over both shoulders, swerved erratically into the middle lane, tried to shut off the signal that had already shut itself off so I was now erroneously indicating that I wanted to move back into the slow lane, and saw that the car I had nearly rear-ended while trying to change lanes had two Mennonite men in the front seats and two women in the back seat. Each of them was soberly dressed (the men still had their hats on), and the driver was giving me a look that conveyed "That young man, bound for hellfire and damnation both for his recklessness and for his wickedness, is why we don't let our youths drive modern vehicles unsupervised." My brother, who was in the back, asked "Can you slow down? I swear there were Amish people in that car..."

Odd sidebar, I know; however, Granny's point is well taken and I should know better than to presuppose how anyone follows the dictates of his or her conscience in lifestyle, religion, or morality.

-I stand corrected: deservedly so.
Date: 2017-10-14
Thanks, Jubeele, that's very kind of you.

To say I "triumphed over the struggles" is probably a stretch, though. I think "self-aware to prevent falling into the same traps most of the time" is more accurate. 👀 Of course, that's the first step to paranoia; I'm under the impression I'm watching me *all the time.* 👀

Date: 2017-10-13
Greetings, fellow YGSers and TMTMTL.
Notes for Augusta, Val, lady-glow, Lilwolf, Rook, Jubeele & TMTMTL follow:

Augusta: beautifully phrased, logical sequential critique.

Val: June 2016 was the end of his Sophomore year, so September 2016 to June 2017 would have been Junior year. His Senior year is the 2017 - 2018 School year. I know this because it is the ONE facet of the story I believed.

Lady-glow: 😆 You're a menace! We'll all fall of the fence If you make us laugh that hard!

Lilwolf: Hear, hear!

Rook: One hat, tipped.

Jubeele: Same thought! (I enjoyed the "Dirty Harry" movies when I was a kid; *Sudden Impact* was a particular favorite).

TMTMTL: Who in the world still uses archaic diction "lose our virginity to each other," in written or spoken contemporary English? I could believe it of the Amish and Mennonites, but they wouldn't be using computers to put submissions on YGS. I suppose that other more-conservative religious groups may sill use that expression, too, but it does seem to be a stretch for the 21st century. It's the type of phrasing that I'd expect to hear in a religious instruction class (Catechism, Bible Camp, Hebrew School, Madrasa) taught by a well-intentioned, religious person who is uncomfortable giving any detailed information on the topic to teenagers. That said, I looked up some statistics: "55.15% of the people in New Jersey... Are religious... 37.93% are Catholic; 0.37% are LDS; 2.84% are another Christian faith; 2.49%...are Jewish; 0.82% are an eastern faith; 1.84% affilitates (sic., "affiliate") with Islam" (bestplaces.net/religion/state/new_jersey), but the Pew Forum (pewforum.org/religious-landscape-study/state/new-jersey/) has slightly different numbers.

Why in the world would anyone have a conversation of a personal nature with an dirty-faced apparition in torn clothing? Was there any indication why the clothes were torn? Had he been dragged through brambles? Mauled by merciless logic? Mugged by very tiny grim reapers?

Date: 2017-10-11
Thanks, Jubeele, for your insight (unintentional pun, but I liked it) on the carving.

As I thought about your ideas, I realized that we'd had a brass Buddha in my parents' second house in England (yourghoststories.com/real-ghost-story.php?story=23732). There were small windows on the sides of the front door, each with four or five decorative brass objects/statuettes on the windowsill. When we were leaving the house, the Buddha was in our right-hand window, thus on the left-hand window when we were returning. He was close to the corner with the hallway wall, but a different brass decoration was in the corner slightly behind him. He was turned at a 45° angle, so he smiled at everyone entering or exiting our home and at everyone who came down the staircase. I thought it odd that my hyper-religious Christian mother was ok with the Buddha's presence in our hallway, but she stated that he never claimed to be a god, he was a teacher who sought truth and understanding [Seriously hoping I didn't offend anyone, here].

Date: 2017-10-11
Greetings, Jubeele.

I looked at the furniture in the "Accommodations" section of the Comet Inn's website; much of it does appear to be in keeping with the late 1800s, though there are a few pieces that seem to be from the late Art Deco era (1930). It appears to be a charming inn; however, as I was about 2 inches from the screen looking at the porcelain insert in the brass bedstead, I realized that the center decorative pillow was looking back at me. This is a good story, but the pictures gave me a hell of a jolt!
Date: 2017-09-27
JellyBean, Jubeele, & lady-glow,

It's not just English as a Second Language (E.S.L.) immigrants to the US who have trouble adjusting. Most of the time I'm fine, but in the early morning I have to point at objects and ask my wife, "What do Americans call this?" or I'll just use the British English term and hope she decodes it accurately.

As for the peculiar skeletal figure, I'm inclined to agree with Jubeele. Even though your mother saw the house (or a very similar one) in her dream, it doesn't necessarily mean that the 'haunting' was a an entity. I saw my house in a dream when I was about 14 years old. When my wife and I were looking at listings on the internet, was spoke with a realtor who got the keys to similar-sized houses in our budget with roughly the same sort of location; I did not see the house until we turned onto the driveway and there it was: home. Your mother had every reason to be anxious about the logistics of moving, re-settling in a new state, etc.; she may have had a precognitive image of the location, but she associated it with her own fears, hence the terrifying skeletal figure's persistence in her dreams.

If it had been a spirit or entity, it is highly unlikely that it would have behaved in a restrained manner; it could create more terror and confusion by manipulating the fears of the whole family, not just your mother's fears.

Oh, Good Lord; I needed that image today, Val!
(It's not a good day when you have to start with a friend's funeral. She just exuded enthusiasm, compassion, & mischief 😢. She'd have loved your mental image😃). I've heard of people "taking a nasty spill" in relation to cycling accients, both here & in the U.K.; it's a colloquial expression I think needs to be maintained in current usage. It's a great metaphor to conjure up a complete lack of coordination as rider and bike part ways in a humiliating display of momentum vs entropy.

Rook, it's not letting me "upvote" you at the moment; I've been a bit quiet of late, but I've been adding to the Karma points when I see good advice... I knew exactly the image you had in mind; my favorite of those strips has Snoopy bashing away on his typewriter with every cliche he can think of: "It was a dark and stormy night. A shot rang out..."
Greetings, JellyBean.

I hope you don't mind if I elucidate a few points that were raised in the comments by some of our regular contributors.

Rook: The originator of the phrase "It was a dark and stormy night" was Edward Bulwer-Lytton in one of his earlier novels (perhaps earliest?) as he was using the first line to set up the Gothic setting. This line has been mocked for nearly two centuries, now, as hackneyed purple prose. Sadly, most people have no idea that the same writer is responsible for "the pen is mightier than the sword."

Val: Those long, thin sticks for lighting gas stoves, candles, etc., are called "spills."

Just trying yo be helpful,
Date: 2017-09-19
Greetings, ghostmachine, and Welcome.

Several of the earlier posts suggest that the spirit was non-threatening and that you were reacting out of fear of the unknown. That certainly *is* possible. You felt threatened by the presence, so an entity with bad intentions *may* have been the cause. Either way, this entity knew where you were as it: 1) opened the hall door; 2) opened the door to your dormitory without opening any of the other doors; 3) walked directly to your bed; and 4) sat on your bed for a minute or so. As it undertook all of these actions, I'll state that --threatening or not-- it certainly was aware of what it was doing.

Now, I'm not going to criticize your fear during a supernatural occurrence. I would suggest, however, that if the spirit had harmful intent toward you, that you were facing away from it, you were defenseless, and you were isolated. Knowing all of this, it decided to sit down. When nothing happened after it sat down, it got up and left. It may have been a guardian spirit, an inquisitive spirit, even a dangerous one; its behavior was frightening. However, when was the last time a flesh-and-blood person tried to scare you by sitting nearby for a moment? Sitting down is not an inherently threatening gesture.

I enjoyed your description of the events, and I do believe that they were paranormal in nature, but if this spirit had wanted to harm you, it would have been able to do so with no difficulty. Instead, it sat down for a moment before it left. Unless there is some other detail that is relevant, or a second story that demonstrates an increase in the supernatural phenomena following this activity, I'm going to side with the "probably curious but not dangerous" group.

Greetings, Sanguirina, and welcome to YGS.

I enjoyed reading your account of the events you experienced, and I second Melda's praise of your grandmother.

I realized that I had never heard of your hometown, so I looked for Heidal on "Google Images." This is one of the prettiest rural landscapes I have ever seen! Seriously, everyone should look at a few of the pictures of the landscape, the white-water rafting, the hotels; it's no wonder that the spirits of the deceased don't want to move away!

I'm looking forward to more of your stories, Sanguirina.

Date: 2017-09-08
Greetings, Roylynx.

You'll have to excuse my ignorance with regard to "apps"; I suspect I know what "F" represented, but I'm at a complete loss for the other one. It took me two years to learn how to send text messages on my apple telephone and about four minutes to decide I lacked sufficient patience. I have gleaned that your sister was using more than one texting application during the evening while she was waiting for her friend's arrival.

Your sister's friend had been in the hospital for 18 months on life support machines; that is sad for her parents, hoping that she would come back to them and slowly having to come to terms with her death. While I understand that her parents would have done everything in their power to keep her alive, it does seem odd to me that they kept paying her phone bill. I know that Brazilian health care is legislated such that general health care and emergency health care are civil rights, but I was under the impression that extended care using life support machinery required private health insurance (I may be completely wrong on this point). *If* I'm not wrong, then her parents would probably have needed to save money wherever possible, such as cutting the service to her phone to continue paying for the premiums on the insurance plan that was keeping her alive.

I keep thinking that the sequence of events could include the following: 1) her phone service was cancelled by her parents; 2) after six months or so, the phone number was re-allocated to a different customer; 3) whoever had received the number was finding it funny that he or she could keep your sister waiting in a bar, by herself, for hours. If your sister began the text-message conversation, then the number --despite having been reassigned-- would have her friend's name from your sister's "Address Book" on her phone. Any subsequent message would still have her friend's name appear as the sender, irrespective of number's actual owner. If my hypothetical scenario is impossible, or improbable, I apologize for my technological ignorance; on the other hand, I would like to learn from a general explanation of *why* my guess is wrong.

My own use of technology has grown from deep skepticism to tentative optimism, followed by curiosity, frustration, outright hostility, and grudging resignation. (I tell people that I have a simple rule for sending me text messages: don't.)

Date: 2017-09-06
Hey, Rook:
--First an apology to Val: this is the last point about diction I'll make here. Any further discussion will be conducted elsewhere.--

Yes, Rook, in the example, Lizzie is questioning which dessert she'd like, but in the abstract sense of two potential outcomes. She is dithering; she's wavering; she's mulling over the options. There are very few true synonyms in English (Odd Sidebar: "Inflammable" and "Flammable" *are* synonymous, but that arose out of a misunderstanding that has confused non-native English speakers and mystified English teachers). Most synonyms have a Venn-Diagram overlap, so clear communication is possible, but there are areas in the diagram that are *not* overlapping. Take the synonyms for "questioning" in the second sentence of this paragraph, then substitute them into in this example: "The FBI took him in for questioning" 😆.

Val was **raising** a question, as in suggesting it as part of the overall conversation about the potential for supernatural power-struggles or dictatorships --and the dragooning of other spirits against their wills-- in a home. This is an interesting concept, as it challenges some of the preconceived notions people *tend* to have about the location and the abilities of an entity involved in haunting phenomena. I know I spent some time considering it; the hauntings that I've read usually assert that it is inhuman entities with this type of power, but I can think of no logical reason that a particularly strong-willed dominant entity would not be able to amass power through fear, even in the case of other, weaker-willed spirits. As I stated in the original response, I'm a little cautious about this topic, but I am in no way *dismissing* it as a possibility. Sometimes, I just have to let an idea simmer in the back of my mind with an occasional stirring to prevent agglutination. (Sorry, my wife is making chicken soup, and I'm surprised I got this far without a food allusion!)

If Val had been "vacillating," she'd have ben anxious about not making the correct decision; she'd be in a state of self-doubt; it all comes down to the difference between a reflexive verb and a transitive verb. Looking into the history of a word can prove useful in this regard. If you're curious, one guy started a great website (back when the internet was black screens and green, orange, or white lettering) amassing the most accurate/probable etymologies for the English language; he's still doing it, updating it with the latest research and contributions from around the world. He's also improved the color scheme. The site is etymonline.com; he also has a page listing his Principal Sources and supplementary sources in alphabetical order (etymonline.com/sources.php). One of my favorite grammarians is in the Primary Sources section (Fowler, H.W., *A Dictionary of Modern English Usage*). While the contents of his site are not visually exciting, they are well-documented histories and uses of words.

I often teach Grammar and Vocabulary lessons through etymologies, as the students get to make mental connections (e.g.: "plumber" comes from Latin "plumbum" meaning "lead" which was used to make pipes and to prevent leaks from hypocausts & aqueducts. You can find it on the table of elements at #82 listed as "Pb." It's where we get a "plumb line" with a lead weight, which -in turn- is the source for the metaphorical "plumbing the depths," et cetera).

This method also clarifies the difference between Denotation (Dictionary Definition) and Connotation (implied meaning). While it is normal to vacillate before committing to a course of action, it's an unsteady wavering between options, whereas to oscillate is swing back-and-forth in a rhythm. Vacillate, then, *connotes* an imbalance (like the pressures one faces when deciding between Morality vs. Legality, or Legality vs. Authority). Seeking out the roots of the words is a good starting point to distinguish why one word may be preferable to another; there are many words that have changed meaning over time, but their histories inform our diction.

As a side-note, one of the former editors at Merriam-Webster was the tenured Professor who taught H.E.L. It's been rather fun to examine the logic of this process, Rook, so I must thank you. I have always benefitted from blowing away the dusty cobwebs and re-evaluating the rationale behind my statements. I stand by my comments, but it is a joy to lay out the logic supporting parts of the argument for a genuinely curious mind; it prevents me from becoming complacent, which -more than anything- kills good teaching.

Date: 2017-09-06

"To vacillate" is to waver in one's doubt; to hesitate while weighing the potential benefits and dangers of options, e.g.: "When tempted by the sumptuous desserts, Lizzie vacillated between the cheesecake and the chocolate torte." Val wasn't vacillating in her response to RC's comment, she was speculating and questioning. With "vacillate," she would be metaphorically torn by the potential to commit to one hypothesis and regret not committing to the other.

In context, RC was trying to find an alliterative verb, as "Very valid question, Val" is a series of fricative "v" words, interrupted by a voiceless velar plosive "q" in "question." (In Phonetics, "voiceless" means that the vocal chords are not used to generate the sound.) Reading it as "v, v, q, v,"looks fine, but if the writer is accustomed to *hearing* the words while they are being typed --I suspect this is true of R.C. As well as myself-- the pleasant softer "v" alliteration is interrupted by a "kuh" that grates on the ear (or, "the mind's ear" I suppose).

RC: am I correct in my guess that you can *hear* the words you read as you are reading them? Pretty much everyone does this to a degree, but "Reading as though You were Speaking Aloud" while considering the TYPE of sound is a skill/habit that I've found is developed by language teachers, public speakers, savvy advertisers, customer service personnel, good administrators, professional writers, and journalists; it's a great method to determine the preferred diction to convey nuanced meaning.

[God, I had to dredge up some of this data from "History of the English Language" --a.k.a. "H.E.L."-- as an undergrad two decades ago! Some of it I use on a regular basis in class (Public Speaking, Poetry, and Drama), but that was a mental stretch for mid-morning.]
Date: 2017-09-04
Greetings, Val.

It's great to read a narrative in which you describe how your 'gifts' work. You have a much more nuanced control over your spiritual self than I've ever managed, so I was delighted to read the unveiling of abilities layer-by-layer without feeling that I was intruding. (Insert Complete Agreement with Rook's post, here.)

Rook has lamented on a few occasions that there isn't really a vocabulary to discuss the intangible nature of these actions/manifestations/abilities, but you convey the focus and process without confusing the reader; "I dialed back my shields a notch," is beautifully simple, without troubling the reader either with the process of slackening your grip or with how you maintain the integrity of the remaining shields. (Good Lord! This is beginning to sound like a "Star Trek" episode in my head: "Shields up! All hands to Blessing Stations. Fire Psychic Torpedoes!")

Verbal Abuse and Emotional Abuse are insidious; unlike Physical Abuse, it can take years for anyone to notice the bruises and scars: even the victims. Obviously, the Victims of Physical Abuse need help and protection from violent assault; friends, family, and neighbors are naturally watchful for the symptoms simply because it's part of human behavior for protecting our chosen communities. Verbal and Emotional abuse are much more easily disguised as "a bad day" or "stress," and they are hidden --even from ourselves-- in public. I'm glad Patsy divorced Jerry, and I hope she got custody of their kids; without Patsy to push around, Jerry would have moved onto the next domestic target 😢.

While I'm a little more cautious about RC's subsequent suggestion that Evil Spirits start to bring in souls from outside the location to do their bidding ("The evil spirit may also go out and collect other dead souls, much as a shepherd rounds up its sheep."), I am ONLY cautious about that statement. Like RC, I wondered if there was an unseen mover behind the scenes (Oh, great... From "Star Trek" to "Wizard of OZ" in one post; bloody Monday holiday observations! Today is "Labor Day" which has thrown my 'Teacher Mode' into overdrive).

The effects were apparent to you both physically and spiritually; were these effects on both Jerry's and Patsy's faces, or *only* on Patsy's? If "both," then there may have been something else ratcheting up the tension between them, potentially without the knowledge of the woman you released; if the answer is "only Patsy," then it was simply a badly-damaged relationship that was wearing down both of them. Adultery is not a cause, rather it is an effect of the failure to feel validated and supported within a marriage. This failure to feel validated may have existed entirely within Jerry's head with no basis in reality, but it is the mental factors that cause our behaviors to appear rational to us. As with so many other human failings, it is a matter of Motive *plus* Opportunity that leads to infidelity; Opportunity may exist all the time, but only becomes appealing when Motive is working like a searchlight.

Again, in agreement with Rook, your coda to the narrative seemed to me that the woman was returning to her past home, not trapped there. There's a colossal difference between being afraid & angry to being watchful & protective.

Thanks for sharing this experience, Val; it has provided some serious food for thought.

Date: 2017-09-04
Vetting? (close)
Verification? (not quite)
...and I'm out, too. Damn.

Umm... I rarely have trouble deciding where to begin.

First, while to do seem to be looking for answers, you're reaching out for every potential explanation *almost* simultaneously. Consulting with a psychic who provides you with aggrandizing platitudes that you are "his twin flame and I was once his queen in my past life" is of dubious value, so I was pleased to note that you're "not really big on the past life thing so I don't really buy into it." Taking an objective, skeptical view is a very important factor, in that you won't believe everything that people say to you. You have tried to follow Melda's advice, which is great. You also discussed with Anno_Domini that you know a minister who deals with demons, yet I have not seen you follow up Anno's suggestion that "You might want to start with the pastor that you know first. Will be praying for you." If this issue is *not* a psychological disorder, then you really need to stop this entity from hijacking your dreams, draining your energy, and abusing you in a physical manner.

Then, as I see that you've made some progress toward limiting the interactions, you drop this little bombshell: "I have purchased jewelry with spirits infused within them."


Why would you do that? What kind of spirits, exactly, are you dealing with >cough< dealing in >cough< here? Unless I misunderstood your statement, you're describing the process of trapping a sentient essence (human, fae, elemental) within as gem (precious, semi-precious, or prismatic glass). Who is selling you these items? Are these items of jewelry simply available in stores selling Esoterica of the Macabre?

Potential explanations for these items of jewelry that occur to me:
1) Someone is perpetrating a deliberate fraud by placing misleading labelling/signs on the jewelry.
2) The salesperson or the store owner is embellishing a narrative to raise the price of the merchandise by claiming to pour a little bit of his/her soul into the item.
3) The salesperson or the jeweler sincerely believes that he or she has safely inserted a spiritual entity into the gem for a good reason.
4) The salesperson or the jeweler believes that he or she has captured a spirit that has no objection to being placed in a gemstone.
5) The salesperson or the jeweler believes that he or she has trapped a spirit and has no moral compunction about confining this entity in a gemstone cage.

**If** I understood your comments correctly, only numbers 3 and 4 on my list are close to being morally acceptable actions. If I misunderstood you, please clarify this point.

The other issue which raised some doubts in my mind was that you'd "had spells cast to make him go away and I prayed to the angels to help get rid of my 'schizophrenia' and it worked for a while..." Please remember that I stated in my first response that I was giving you the benefit of the doubt. Now, I'm going to mention a phrase that you probably won't like: "placebo effect." Every attempt to deal with this situation is something that you've gravitated toward as the latest effort to manage the "relationship" with this unseen entity. You admit that you've developed your own "Stockholm syndrome" with regard to your... [well, "owner" seems rude, but it has the benefit of being more accurate than the other terms that spring to mind]...problem. Every time you try something new, you either don't like it immediately (as with the psychic), or you feel that it is working for a short time, then the problem resurfaces. This roller-coaster of "Hey, it's working 😊... Now it isn't 😢!" is exactly the pattern to expect when your mind is dousing your limbic system with dopamine, which wears off and "crashes" your system because it's not a solution, it's a brief moment of hope convincing you that you're on the right track; because you want it to be the right track, the placebo effect tells you that you're getting better. After the placebo wears off, you're just sad and confused about why it has let you down.

Though you told Rook that "I'm positive I cut off the energy flow. I never see any apparitions of him when I don't send energy," you've proceeded from that certainty into doubt: "However the last time I told him to leave I had a nightmare that he punched me in face and went through some dark portal. I even had a dream last night where I danced for him... Hopefully not willingly." YOU DREAMED HE PUNCHED YOU IN THE FACE. If this is a psychological disorder, this dream would indicate that your subconscious is getting pretty fed-up with the whole thing; on the other hand, if this is a spiritual problem, HE PUNCHED YOU IN THE FACE. That's the abusive relationship and co-dependency I was warning you about when I left my first message because I was concerned for your wellbeing. Subsequent to your owner's violence and his abandoning you to suffer, he returned to consume the spirit-energy from your jewelry, then forced you to dance for his amusement. Do you remember who I said had the power in the relationship? And why he had it? Here's the most important thing I can recommend while you are sorting yourself out: DO NOT co-operate with his abuse. Bullies win when no-one resists their intimidation; dictators rule when the resistant population is silent; you cannot be a whole person while someone else (demon, ghost, psychological projection of unresolved developmental crises, whatever) is draining your energy by laying siege to your mind.

Do you see how completely screwed-up the sequence of events you have described is? Pick any one of the helpful, supporting comments that are intended to help you to help yourself, and then COMMIT TO IT. If it does not reduce the problem within two weeks, then you should consider a course of action that will support your efforts to adhere to your plan... You will not get any better at managing your (mental health / spiritual wellbeing) by jumping from one solution to another, and another, and another. Sure, we are all human beings who need to consult with others for advice, to ask for help, or to admit we need comfort, but your life is your own; you need to take steps to assert yourself: select the best advice you have been given (neither I nor anyone else can tell you which advice it is; it's an instinctive, "gut" response) and make following that advice your goal.

I honestly think you're going to need to speak with a counselor/therapist, but that's only my opinion. You need to do whatever is going to provide you with the best long-term solution to this problem.

Good luck.
To Shelby: Yes, that's the one! I just couldn't find it using the search function; I was hoping that someone may have added it to his/her "favorite" list. -Biblio.
Greetings, ForbiddenRose.

You have received sound advice on mental health and on spiritual help from multiple YGSers, so there is no need for me to add anything on that point. I'm going to state that I have some reservations about your narrative, but the rest of this response will presume that you have told the truth in your original submission and in your responses to everyone else. [Call it my giving you the "benefit of the doubt."]

There is an issue that has been bothering me as I read through this narrative and the subsequent discussion. You informed Melda that "Rhyder is the name I gave him. I asked for his real name before but he never told me." Look in your Bible for the exorcisms Jesus performed; he specifically asks the name of the unclean spirit (e.g.: "Legion") in order to cast it/them out. When "Rhyder" withholds information from you, he has the power in the relationship.

Your energy-draining sexual predator has avoided telling you who he/it is, so you gave him a name. **If** this is not a symptom of schizophrenia, you've opened yourself up to a haunting entity and strengthened the connection by giving him/it a nickname you like, put parameters on the relationship (i.e.: you can't have al your friends here in my house), withheld permission for him/it to take your energy when he's upset you, and you've not told everyone in your home about him. I am not going to suggest this spirit is "demonic" or "devilish," but it certainly fits the description of an unhealthy, codependent relationship I will state that I think his bringing **other** spirits to your home to feed on your energy/emotions was horrible. Even in a best-case scenario, his/its behavior was sketchy because the clear implication is that you had enough energy to feed his friends, too. You are an individual, not a buffet-table of edible energies.

Please do follow the sound advice everyone has provided, but ask yourself what you are getting out the relationship. Is this a healthy behavior pattern, or is it more like an addiction?

Date: 2017-08-23
Greetings, Ambitious, and welcome to YGS.

As I read your account, I started to ponder the idea of reincarnation. This seemed really weird because I am seldom comfortable with other posters who suggest it is a likely explanation. There seems to be a connection in my mind between your experiences and other pasts, not your own, and childhood deaths by violence. I don't know if it is reincarnation exactly, or if you are like a radio who can see/feel/hear/know what is occurring elsewhere.

Then I read the line that threw me off, completely: "my family (they too see these figures in real life or in dreams)..." *WHAT?* I second Val's observation: "I don't understand why if your family has also seen these beings, they labeled you crazy." There does seem to be a slew of details, here, and I don't believe I'm the member who is able to give you the definitive explanation you seek. However, I did see these odd fields and images of connection while I read your description, so I thought I should mention them to you.

Greetings, Thing, and welcome to YGS!

I'm in complete agreement with Manafon's assessment of your narrative. I'll just add two points, if I may:
1. That was not "long winded" at all. You described the environment and your family dynamic clearly and effectively.
2. I'm putting this in my "favorites" list because it was interesting and entertaining.