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valkricry (48 stories) (3257 posts) mod
 
10 years ago (2014-02-10)
Dear basilisk193,
I have absolutely no intention of attempting to contact my dad's spirit. The best thing that ever happened to us was the miles my mother's passing put between us. Honestly, she was the only reason I ever set foot in that house once I left. Now, don't get me wrong, I never hated my dad. I hated the things he did, and even though I tried my best to rationalize it (the why of it all), and even managed to forgive a lot of it, I could never convince myself to trust him 100% again. That was something I just couldn't repair. I did try, and he had multiple chances, even into my adulthood, but he blew them. If it had not been for a promise my mother had extracted from me shortly before she died, I probably would not have stayed in touch with him... But a promise is a promise. Seriously, I am glad I kept it. I got to see sides of my dad that I hadn't even known. Sometimes I still wonder where the heck this man was while I was growing up. Yes, I had heard that "I love you" across several hundred miles.
Why didn't he want me at his funeral? I think part of him was ashamed and felt guilt over the past, and part of him was scared I might tell someone about it. Or maybe, just maybe he was afraid I wouldn't show, and it was better (for him) to allow folks to believe that was his idea? At that time, things were very rough for me and I couldn't afford the trip... Maybe he was giving me an out. I don't really know.
valkricry (48 stories) (3257 posts) mod
 
10 years ago (2014-02-10)
Hi Leo, I agree that hand was 'bad'. As I said it scared me enough I quite literally screamed the neighborhood awake. Your analysis of it seems quite logical. Although, I did have the thought that elderly people often have cracked nails, something to do with lack of keratin, and they might be yellowed through smoking (at that point in time, did not have the same taboo status of today. Of course that is me trying to take some of the 'scary' away. Your thought that it quite possibly got to my dad because of his emotional state at the time, also makes sense.
No worries, I take no offense. 😊
Miracles51031 (39 stories) (4999 posts) mod
+4
10 years ago (2014-02-10)
MISTER_MAGIC - your comment was deleted because I felt it could create too much controversy on this story. Which is also why I have deleted the other comment, and will continue to do so if you continue to post them.

Valkricry has shared this extremely personal experience with us, as well as another about her dad. I don't believe she needs, or wants, you to try and dig up any "crap" that you may think there is. (Excuse me for butting in, Val.) She has made her peace with her dad. Leave her, and her dad, alone.

As for the picture you have taken of your comment. Good for you. Frame it and hang it on your wall 😉 That's about all it's going to be good for.

This comment from MISTER_MAGIC is hidden due to low rating. Show comment

basilisk193 (35 posts)
 
10 years ago (2014-02-10)
I read both stories and I really love them.
Val, do you ever intend to contact your father's spirit?
What ever influenced him, be it really spiritual or his misconception, he'd probably got it off as you said that he didn't hate you anymore for the last few years, but how come he didn't want you to go to his funeral? It seems you were far away when he passed, did you hear his last words of love through phone?
CrystalLeo (27 posts)
+2
10 years ago (2014-02-10)
Hey Valkricry.
I think the hand might be symbolic as well as a terrible entity.

An old hand; someone with lots and lots of life experience.
Yellow cracked nails; someone that didn't really take good care of himself. Dwels in uncleanliness.
Lion's head ring; symbolises power, respect, courage.
Red eyes; eyes filled with evil or harmful intent.

It is possible that it was after you before your father came into your room. But since it couldn't reach you it might have latched onto something or someone else. Your father was probably going through a difficult time, looking after all you kids and your ill mother. He coud have been more seseptible to the entity. In other words, it probably found a hole to crawl through. No matter how small.

These are just my thoughts on the subject.
I do not mean to offend if I have.

I hope you are doing good, as well as your family. And I hope your mother is doing well. All the best of wishes to you.
valkricry (48 stories) (3257 posts) mod
 
10 years ago (2014-02-09)
Dear Spooks,
What a lovely honor to be on your favorites list! Thank you.
spookspirits (9 posts)
 
10 years ago (2014-02-09)
Hi val,
I want to give you a tight hug and alovely kisss!
😳
I don't know what to say. It's a very heart breaking story. How could a father behave like this to his little daughter? Though I believe it was not he doing all those abusive talkings and doings on his own free mind still If I had been on your place I would have hardly able to forgive him... Extremely sorry if I've hurt you, I didn't meant to...

You have a very strong heart that you have been able to share this personal event of your life with us, it must have been very difficult for you? My hats off to you

I would love to have a protective brother like

I have signed up in YGS today only and this is the first story that is going to be added in my favourite list.

With lots of love, hugs and kisses
Spookspirits. ❤
valkricry (48 stories) (3257 posts) mod
 
10 years ago (2014-02-09)
samtillie,
It's ok, as I spell it both ways too. Not sure why I do that. Although, I was told once that the 'Jaimie' was my subconscious saying 'je aime' or 'I love' in French. Which makes some sense as he represented the love I so desperately needed. Don'tcha just love psycho-babble? 😆
samtillie (5 stories) (242 posts)
 
10 years ago (2014-02-09)
Val - sorry I spelt Jamie instead of jaimie. I know I probably don't need to correct but would feel awful if I didn't.
samtillie (5 stories) (242 posts)
 
10 years ago (2014-02-09)
Wow, an amazing story, you are brave sharing such personal events. Very touching, I'm sorry about the abuse you endured, you sound like a remarkable lady. Jamie sounds like a hero, what a brother to have and the bond you had was amazing even though he wasn't here. I'm sorry for the loss of you mother too and also your dad.
valkricry (48 stories) (3257 posts) mod
+1
11 years ago (2013-07-14)
Pete,
One of the things I have tried to impart, especially to those whom I know weren't handed exactly a fair shake in Life, is that your past is your PAST. You can't alter or change it. It is what makes you - You.
However what you take with you from that past forwards is by choice. If you choose the negative, hurt, anger and such, that is what you will become, for they will weigh upon you like the chains of Marley's ghost. Or you can choose to take what is good instead, and free yourself from those chains.
Thank you for the lovely compliment.
Pete16 (2 stories) (49 posts)
 
11 years ago (2013-07-13)
Val, I am a teacher and often tell my kids that the very best stories are the ones that are honest and come from experience, even if they are hard to tell. You have exemplified that the toughest stories can sometimes touch the "human" in us (ironic for a ghost story, eh? Yet, perhaps ghosts are ghosts because they haven't given that up...) As with your other stories, you continue to share with us in such an honest way that, as anyone can see through the story's discussion feed, we love to read what you write. What a blessing Jaimie is and what a lesson you are in taking control of life.:)
valkricry (48 stories) (3257 posts) mod
 
11 years ago (2013-06-26)
Schlain, that hand has perplexed me for decades. Especially that ring. I did see the ring again in another 'dream', which was of my death. But hard core physical knowledge, doesn't exist. I suppose it is possible that someone who wore a ring like that had hurt me at some point, and I blocked it from memory. Who knows? Maybe it is connected to a past life, if one believes in those (a theory I'm on the fence with).
Shlain (13 stories) (246 posts)
 
11 years ago (2013-06-26)
Dear Valkricry, I'm so sorry to hear about your early life misery. The hand is perplexing though. Do you think that could have been a separate entity? The ring, did you research its possible origin?

Well, you emerged stronger from your ordeal. That's very clear in your writing.

Thanks for sharing.
Amihet (5 stories) (94 posts)
 
11 years ago (2013-06-16)
Hi Val-what a poignant story, I can actually feel your pain in your writing. You were and are blessed to have Jaime in your life. He became your guardian angel. I also had a father that was very much like your father, I ended up forgiving him and caring for him when he was dying of cancer. Your courage, insight and forgiveness that you have is evident in your writing. Thank you for sharing your experience with us.
Sceptic-Ari (2 stories) (611 posts)
 
11 years ago (2013-05-07)
Dear Val,

I don't think there is anything to talk about... I mean I don't know whether I would be able to put my feeling into words.
Thanks for the invite though. Much honoured. Shall someday utilise it.

Regards
valkricry (48 stories) (3257 posts) mod
 
11 years ago (2013-05-07)
Ah,Ari - no worries 😊 If you ever feel the need to talk about it, email is on my profile.
Sceptic-Ari (2 stories) (611 posts)
 
11 years ago (2013-05-07)
Dear Val,
Oh I am embarrassed 😳

But it was not only for you that I felt and welled up...

Regards
valkricry (48 stories) (3257 posts) mod
+3
11 years ago (2013-05-07)
Sorry for being so long in replying, I just get so involved in reading others' contributions, I sometimes forget to check on my own!
Thank you all for taking the time to read this and make comments. It was a difficult write for me. I have used some of the elements in my works of fiction, but I have to say, it felt good to just state the truth about it - and to be believed. Yeah, there's still that little girl inside me who believes her dad when he said, no one would believe her. I have often wondered if perhaps my dad suffered some sort of mental illness himself, to do some of the things he did.
Oh, Ari, cry not for me, for I am one of the truly lucky ones. Some many suffer much worse than I ever did. Yeah, I have some scars, physical and on my heart, but doesn't everyone?
Sceptic-Ari (2 stories) (611 posts)
 
11 years ago (2013-05-06)
What has happened to me!

I didn't know that I could shed tears!
bandet888 (86 posts)
 
11 years ago (2013-04-22)
Strange it all seemed to happen after the hand incident. So it seems logical to me that this thing had somehow possesed your father.I'm glad his last words were kind ones though and that Jaimie was there for you too.
meow3 (23 posts)
 
11 years ago (2013-04-17)
Hi. What a sad and frightening story. I really feel for you. What kind of father says and does those things to his own child? I'm so glad you were able to forgive him; a lot of people never could. God bless you. 😊
valkricry (48 stories) (3257 posts) mod
 
11 years ago (2013-04-15)
Wishfulnull,
Thank you very much for your kind words. I sincerely believe that everything in Life is a choice, it's what we make of it.
Have a blessed day, and remember smiling is contagious 😉
WishfulNull (151 posts)
+2
11 years ago (2013-04-15)
This story very much moved me. What a living hell you survived, and I believe Jamie is your guardian, even to this day. You are an amazing person to have gone through what you did and still have had the strength to move on from your father's abuse & let the past be the past. This made you strong. Thank you for sharing this personal story, It is a powerful message of hope, perseverance and even everlasting love, which combined with courage, can defeat the darkness that exists. I have no doubt your story will find people who need to hear it the most. ((Hug)) take care, and may you continue to be a light that shines brightly in this world. ❤
19isabela73 (8 posts)
 
11 years ago (2013-03-29)
At first I didn't want to read this story because anything with the word "possession" just scares the crap out of me. But once I did it brought tears to my eyes instead... I'm so sorry you had to go through that. But thank God, and thanks to Jaimie for giving you the power and courage to live!
Crestal126 (74 posts)
-2
11 years ago (2013-03-29)
Oh my gosh, that is so sad. I love my dad and he loves me. I couldn't imagine my dad doing anything like that to me. He was abusing you, you should of told your mother and say please believe me, I am telling the truth. If you had bruses you could of showed her. I think that he was possessed because I could never see a father do anything to a baby girl. Well thankfully it's all over now. Or is it?
Andreaa11 (54 posts)
 
11 years ago (2013-03-27)
Valcricry, thanks for your kind words. One thing about hauntings- you never really can know because it can be related to the land (which is ancient) or to the house itself, or to YOU. Maybe this encounter did affect your dad somehow. Perhaps it triggered a painful memory. Or it is possible this entity influenced him. So many possibilities. The hand just creeps me out. It seems like a foreboding of evil, almost like a curse cast, altogether a bad omen foreshadowing evil to come. Whatever it was, thank god it doesn't have power over your dad or your life anymore.
valkricry (48 stories) (3257 posts) mod
 
11 years ago (2013-03-27)
Hi Andrea,
I am unsure of the house's age, but it seems to me that it had been an old farm house. I remember there was a very large field next to us on one side, while our land lords lived next door in a very new brick ranch house. We had a shared horseshoe drive way. But then, almost all the towns in Illinois were once farmland.
It's weird but I can still see that hand with vivid clarity. In fact that whole nightmare is still stark with detail. You would think it would fade some with the passing of time, just like other dreams. Which is why I wonder if it was a dream at all. Add that to my dad asking about it months later. Guess I'll never know for sure.
I am sorry that you suffered too. But, you do have the power to move beyond it.
Andreaa11 (54 posts)
 
11 years ago (2013-03-27)
I also want to commend you for your courage and strength in telling this story. It makes me want to cry that you endured all of this and was able to share it with us, it really makes you a special kind of person. All victims of abuse (including myself) have to live with the pain of it, and the fact that you found it in yourself to forgive your father and give him peace after all the horrors he subjected you to makes you truly amazing.
Also, I found the details in your story wonderful. The ring you saw on the old hand reminded me of some family heirloom. It may not have been from your family, perhaps from a former owner? How old was the house? If it did belong to a deceased family member maybe it did trigger unpleasant memories for your father. Or maybe somehow an entity from the house attached to him. He sounded very cruel and I'm sorry you had to endure the terror of this event and all the agony that followed. Also it sounds like your guardian angel is that twin. He must love you very much to manifest to help you out with your vicious dad. I'm so glad you shared this with us and thank you for your touching story!
Much regard,
Andrea
valkricry (48 stories) (3257 posts) mod
 
11 years ago (2013-03-26)
Delzlady,
No insult taken. It started back in 1967, so 46 years ago? Maybe... He sure held some very strange beliefs. I thought them odd then and even odder now.
Hard to tell what a man thinks. I once dared asked, what I had done wrong, and was told it was none of my $%^& business! How do you figure that kind of logic? You don't.
DelzLdy (2 stories) (50 posts)
 
11 years ago (2013-03-26)
What a chilling and sad story.

I too wonder whether your father was somehow possessed by the spirit of the 'hand.' Or, here's another thought: Could he possibly have believed the 'hand' had deflowered his little girl and it was your fault? Making you 'dirty'? I'm not sure how long ago this took place, but I see from your age group you are also 'middle age.' I know, from being 'middle age';-) myself, the thoughts and beliefs of our parents could be somewhat puritan.

I apologize for any perceived insult to you or your father, as none were intended.
valkricry (48 stories) (3257 posts) mod
 
11 years ago (2013-03-26)
BJJ,
I never knew or met any of my father's people. I know for a time he lived in St.Joseph's Orphanage in Ohio (around age 9) and was placed with several different families. But that was not uncommon, for 'unwanted'or troubled kids back in the 30's. He never mentioned such a ring to me, rarely mentioned his childhood at all. I think it's quite possible he was abused. I know he had a scar on his hand from getting stabbed with a fork. Who knows what else he endured?
valkricry (48 stories) (3257 posts) mod
+3
11 years ago (2013-03-26)
Dearest Zeta,
Jaimie had always been the same age as me. My dad passed in 2007. Jaimie became scarce after he had moved to another state after my mom's death. Once I left home at 16, I rarely 'saw' Jaimie. But now and then I hear his voice. Generally at times when I need warning about something.
Forgiving my dad - well I had a very long talk with God and myself about that. Several years long. I figure it's like everything else in Life - a choice. I could either waste energy in hate and bitterness, or I could use it for more positive things.
BadJuuJuu (guest)
+2
11 years ago (2013-03-26)
I am so sorry you had to go through that. There is no excuse to hurt a a child.
K, trying to be analytical now instead of mad. Lion's head ring with ruby eyes is an interesting detail. Did you have a deceased relative with such a ring that you remember? Maybe a paternal grandfather or uncle? I ask this because of your father's reaction. People who were abused as children tend to grow up to be abusers themselves. I think it's possible that what you saw (and I don't think it was a nightmare) may have brought some repressed memories out in your father. Those repressed memories could have been the trigger to make him hurt you. I am in no way justifying his actions, don't think that for a second. The cycle of abuse has to end somewhere, he had the choice to end it and did not.
Without your brother watching after you I don't want to consider what may have happened. I'm glad Jamie was there, and I'm glad you got through this. It took a lot of strength on your part to survive.
valkricry (48 stories) (3257 posts) mod
 
11 years ago (2013-03-26)
Thank you, Happy Spirit. I was really unsure of how this would be recieved. Of course, in today's world, someone would have listened to me, if I had dared open my mouth. But back then... It was a different world.
zetafornow (4 stories) (447 posts)
+1
11 years ago (2013-03-26)
I am very moved by this whole story. I would like to commend you for having the strength to live through all of this and be so strong. I do believe that this boy that came to you was your twin brother. I do believe that he helped you through all of this. What your father did was horrible. You were a young girl and I wonder if the nightmare hand wasn't just that... A nightmare. The hand represented your fathers molestation and it manifested into a nightmare as your conscious mind could not handle it all. Once again, I'm so glad that you found the strength with the help of your angel.

Question...do you ever see the boy anymore? Or have you seen him since your father passed? If so, does he continue to grow to your age or is he still the young boy that would help you?

On a side note; it seems as if you did forgive your father and I think that is amazing. Forgiveness is a gift that we have and it sets the victim free... Not for the abuser.

Thanks for sharing, zeta.
HappySpirit (187 posts)
+2
11 years ago (2013-03-26)
What a story. Well told. The psychological abuse you lived through is particularly terrifying & upsetting, but so glad this has an empowering ending - God Bless you for the courage and love you demonstrated at an early age, and to your twin for his support from the other side. Evil will back off in the presence of Truth.

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