From the age of 7, I have had what I always assumed to be dreams of dark shadows, they would be beside my bed, and I was and have always been terrified of them. Everything would be just as it was when I went to sleep, so at first I didn't realize I was dreaming. I couldn't move or look away from them, I could hear myself scream and wondered why my mother didn't come to help me, But in time I realized I was dreaming.
Although they were just dark shadows, I always felt I knew what was a male form and what was female, and I had the feeling they wanted to hurt me, over the years I'd fear going to sleep in case I saw them and still to this day I have trouble sleeping.
A psychic once told me that I'm not dreaming, that I have a gift, and these dark shadows are actually spirits trying to make contact with me, the reason I was unable to move was because I had left my body and for a time was one of them and that's why I was able to see them, and that I shouldn't fear them, that I should listen to them, ask them what they want.
I didn't once mention these dreams to her, so as skeptical as I was, I thought to myself, what if she is right, I had to give it a try, maybe my fear of these shadows or spirits, as she had put it, was for nothing, so I slept with the light off until a month or so later I had one of my dreams, I had the worst one I have ever had, I was so scared but I forced myself to stay sleeping, I asked this thing what it wanted but this time the shadow came right up to my face and I saw different colours because it was moving so quickly like a flame swirling around, this thing whatever it was seemed angry, that's what I felt from it, so I tried as hard as I could to wake up and when I did, I felt worn out and my body was tingling, like it was a big effort to wake up and for the rest of the night I stayed awake too terrified to fall back asleep in case I fell back into the dream.
On one occasion I had fallen asleep watching tv and I had the dream even though the lights were on, this had never happened to me before, I hadn't realized I had fallen asleep because the movie I was watching was still playing, but this time they weren't dark shadows, they were a clear fuzz, and I didn't feel scared at first, they seemed like they were so gentle and peaceful, I felt like they were trying to help me.
I had come out of my body, they seemed to be guiding me, but I was sinking through the ground and somehow I knew they were trying to show me how to move above the ground, how to stay up, they were trying to hold my hands to help me up but when I looked over at my body on the couch, they had surrounded it, that's when I got scared, because I remembered what the psychic had told me, she said that not all these spirits are good, some will lie, some will try to prevent me from going back into my body and if they did then I wouldn't wake up, and at the time I had laughed at her thinking she was going over the top with this so called spirit story, but when I saw them surrounding my body, I thought oh no, this is what she was talking about, so I willed myself to stay above the ground and move back toward my body, and forced myself once again to wake, but when I saw the movie I had been watching was still going at the same part I had seen in my dream, I was even more scared, It was like I hadn't missed anything.
I still have these dreams from time to time but not as frequently.
I have been told from other psychics about these dreams I have, and about my psychic ability. Ten years ago my sister came to me with the news that she was pregnant and on that day, I had a quick vision, I saw my sister sitting on a white chair alone, crying next to a white coffin with pink and white flowers on it, so I told our mother that my sister was having a girl and that she was going to die.
My mother got mad at me and told me to keep it quiet. She always thought these visions I had had from a young age, was just me making curses come true, she thought by me saying something that I was just putting a curse on someone. But my mother ended up telling my sister and the rest of the family, and it became a topic of discussion for weeks until we forgot about it.
My niece died when she was 10 months old, from a rare genetic condition. Her coffin was white with pink and white flowers on them, and the only thing that was different was my sister wasn't sitting alone. She came to me the day after the funeral and she said, I didn't pick the the pink and white flowers or the coffin, my mother in law did.
I have seen so many things that have come true, pregnancies, deaths, accidents, sickness and heartbreak. I have feelings of dread but I just never know who or what its about, but 9 times out of ten something happens.
Sometimes my family have asked me, what's going to happen to them, and do I see anything good or bad in their lives, but I can never tell them, because I don't know. These visions can come out of nowhere. I don't will myself to see or feel things.
But it's been years since I saw anything, these visions seemed to have gone. I rarely even feel the feeling of dread anymore.
In saying all of this, I still find it hard to let myself believe I have a gift, I laugh at other people that tell me they get visions and dream of things that come true. I still won't let myself believe that my dreams were actually spirits trying to contact me, its only when I have them, for the rest of that night I'll believe that they were spirits but by morning I laugh at myself and think I'm a fool for believing it.
There are times where I will question it. I have people telling me that they are sure I have some kind of gift, but I just don't know. I don't know if I want it to be real or not.