Guardian Shadows

I have always been a person who is unsure of ghosts but I still feel that there is something, that I find intriguing and I want to know more.

I guess my story would start when I was between 3 and 4 years old as I remember having half days in primary and on those days I would go with my mum to my Grandma's and Granddad's bungalow. My mum still says now (years later) that she had a bad feeling that day and didn't want to go and visit. But, sadly, that day my granddad had a heart attack while I was present thus leading to many problems and eventually his death. However as a child this was difficult to comprehend.

At the same time roughly I began to see, what I call "shadows", as later there were more as other family died, most notably my Great Uncle and my other nan, both very close to me. These "shadows" I guess could not be called shadows but to describe is difficult, more as a presence like a looming feeling. Sorry, it's quite difficult to explain but a presence seems the best way to describe. And, as a child I began to become quite scared of the dark, but even a nightlight would not relieve these human shaped "shadows" or the presence next to my bed.

As I became more scared just of these figures, they had done nothing but stay by the side of the bed, I began to almost lock in any kind of thoughts of ghosts and never told anyone, still haven't and this is the first I've described it.

But, lately as I've began to open up to these thoughts I've noticed them more and have been tempted to communicate. And recently felt a definite feeling of pressure on my back causing me to wake at a start to the feeling of a presence sitting on the side of my bed. Personally I like to think these as protecting or guarding me and a possibility of them being my family but I cannot be sure as I have never had any knowledge of ghosts, demons or other related entities.

Another event also felt as though someone was pushing on my back, as I found myself in a difficult situation and if I hadn't of moved could have found myself in a worse situation.

I have been able to feel presences in everyday life and as a child did treat some as people much to the amusement of friends and family thus leading me to try closing any potential in. Also I am quite intrigued by the Ouija board but something always says not to no matter where or who with, something tells me to stop.

I would like to know if anyone could help and possibly tell me more on this.

Thank you for reading and any comments.