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Still There


Almost two years ago I lost a close friend in a tragic car accident he was just nineteen. On the night that he died I dreamt of him.

The next morning I was feeding my three month old baby girl when I heard a knock on the door. When I was told that he was gone. I went into shock. I had never experienced death and no one I had known had ever died. I can remember every emotion and feeling that went over me. Shock, sadness, grief, regret, disbelief and so much pain.

I went to his funeral, cried at his grave and still I couldn't believe that he was gone... I just thought that I would see him again and that is was all a lie... A horrible lie.

Then the day came when my brain let the whole concept of death come over me. Its finality was just so sobering. I felt like I had lost my friend for ever.

Just as I started to believe that he was gone forever things started to happen.

There were no lights turning on or things flying around the room in the dead of night but just subtle things.

I could feel his presence.

When he was alive he would blow air onto my neck and sometimes I felt that same sensation when no one was around and I would no that he was there.

When he was around I could feel a cold sensation and the hairs on my body would stand up. I would speak to him. Ask him how he was, cry him when he was having a bad day and talk to him about gossip and general things.

I asked him if he could look out for my daughter. Be a kind of guardian angel to her. At times I could her talking to someone when she was in her cot. And when we went to his grave I asked her to go say hello to him and she walked straight up to his plot and waved to his photo. That was the first time that I had taken her to visit him when she was one.

The New Year's eve after he died I was taking photos with my phone. I was in the lounge room with my sister when I picked up my phone there was a blurry photo on the screen. It was a picture a man and it looked very much like my friend that had died. I have had the photo looked at by a medium that has confirmed that it is him.

As time goes pass I don't feel his presence as much anymore. I think that in some way he has a little peace and I don't need him as much anymore. I still think of him everyday and I am still so hurt by it all.

Just knowing that death is not the end has made me feel better. Knowing that he is still there... Well no words can describe how that feels.

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The following comments are submitted by users of this site and are not official positions by Please read our guidelines and the previous posts before posting. The author, becky123, has the following expectation about your feedback: I will read the comments and participate in the discussion.

HelloKitty (3 posts)
13 years ago (2009-03-15)
I'm sorry to hear about your friend.
It's really sweet that he watches over you and your daughter.
Even if you don't feel his presence, he will always be with you ❤
Annie (202 posts)
14 years ago (2008-09-27)
What a beautiful story! You are truly blessed to have such a good friend to stay, and watch over you and your daughter. Thank you for sharing!
rhodes68 (14 stories) (1596 posts)
14 years ago (2008-09-27)
Thank you for such a moving story and the comforting message you sent through it!

I have to agree with you that death is not the end but only the path towards eternal life. You should feel happy to have such a loving guardian angel to watch over you and your little girl. Quite obviously the love you two shared was strong enough and real enough to last!

Cherish his memory and be grateful for his protection.
becky123 (2 stories) (6 posts)
14 years ago (2008-09-26)
I am so touched by everyones responses... So thankyou very much for taking the time to read my story and commment!
I do truly believe that he is looking out for my daughter and I sleep easier knowing that he is.
A woman approched me just after he passed away... She told me that he wanted me to know that he was ok and that he didn't see the accident coming... She knew things that no one but my friend and I would have know.
When we were little we used to say that we would get married and have babys and he also wanted me to know that he would look after my daughter. He also asked if he could be there when I had my next baby... Which was funny as he was always freaked out about little babys and child birh... But regradless I feel honured that he wants want to be there for me.
She also went on to say that he had some relatives that had past away attached to him... And that one of them was a horrible older man and that he was trying to control him. I don't know how the spirit world works but I hope that he has gained back this control and that he is ok.
Something else that upsets me is that when we were little he would always say that he thought that he was going to die young... He even repeted that therory to me five months before he died.
Thanks again for everyones responces.
whitebuffalo (guest)
14 years ago (2008-09-25)
How wonderful that your friend chose to show himself to you in such familiar ways. I believe he will be a perfect Guardian Angel for your little angel. What more perfect person to care for her than one who was (and IS) so close to you?
You know, I do not think he has made himself less available to you, I do believe that your friend is still very near, only you are getting more used to it. I think he is seen frequently by your daughter, so therefore, he CAN not be that far away.
Bless you, and good memories. I am sorry for your loss.
Thank you.
ChrisB (6 stories) (1515 posts)
14 years ago (2008-09-25)
Im very sorry that your close friend passed away. But you must remeber that you are not alone. The love that you had with your friend will always keep you to together. I think you don't feel him as much because spirits have there own world. They basicaly come and pop by once in a while. AJust to see how your doing. And I bet your friend will be doing that. But you won't feel scared just peace and a great feeling. Thants the best way I can describe it. By the way I'm surte he will keep an eye on your daughter. Thanks fro sharring. I hope to hear from you soon and take care
MNPROPHET (6 stories) (25 posts)
14 years ago (2008-09-24)
Hello Becky123 first I would like to say I'm sorry for the loss of your friend. I do believe he could not rest in peace until he knew you would be ok. I also believe that he did make a connection with your daughter & he will probably always watch over her & you. I wish you all the best. Kim.
Jitow (362 posts)
14 years ago (2008-09-24)
There is a great church called Hill Song. They are in Baulkum Hall, Waterloo and throughout Sidney. They also are on TV there and here in the US. Your soul does last for eternity. Where your soul spends eternity is up to you. Check Hill Song out. You will never regret it.
livvy_poolekirkby (1 stories) (12 posts)
14 years ago (2008-09-24)
Your friend has stayed with you until he was called to the light, I believe it is only tragic victims who stay behind so we can feel there presence, as they are still stunned about there death they go to the ones they love and trust, while they wait to be shown there true path wich is the light.
Becky123 I don't know how your friend died, but I am just trying to let you know what I believe, I would be interested to know if anything more happens, and your little one has probably seen or felt more than you, as children are more pshycic than any adult.
KimSouthO (27 stories) (1960 posts)
14 years ago (2008-09-24)
It always amazes me that those we love adn wonder about find a way to relate to us, letting us know they are at peace and by doing that, hopefully putting us at peace as well.

Thanks for sharing your story with us.

God Bless!
Easykiel (1 stories) (35 posts)
14 years ago (2008-09-24)
I know what it's like to lose a friend like that, it can be truly heartbreaking, but it's good that he's let you know that he's alright, and that he's still around in some way. Your daughter is blessed to have him looking out for her.
autumnsmommy (4 stories) (98 posts)
14 years ago (2008-09-23)
Hi Becky123,

That is a touching story of life after death. It is amazing that your daughter walked up to his grave after and waved. I too have a 20 month old daughter that I think might be like me and see things. If it is someone that you trust that is watching over her then you should greatly at ease. You might not feel his presence as much now because he might be following your daughter to protect her and develop a relationship with her like you had asked. I think that he is still with you and that everything will be ok. Keep us up to date if you have anymore experiences with your friend. Best Wishes

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