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Experiencing My Bestfriends Death At Eleven Years Old


My best friend was everything to me she gave me the strength to ignore bullies. She was having liver failure and she was deaf too. So we had a different bond no other kids could break.

I didn't know she was going to die if she didn't get a transplant in time. Then death happened. It was a unforgettable time, a lot had happened and I had to accept death.

So two weeks later I fell asleep and woke up to a small gray form of her, she was two feet from me. I was happy at first, then scared to death when reality kicked in. I couldn't move or even blink. Her grey form was her clearly. What was weird, she was younger looking than the time period she died.

I kept repeating in my head, "God help me, please." She moved closer, like a foot from me. I put my head in my pillow, waited and turned back, so no way was I dreaming. Then she put her hand out towards me, it had felt like 20 minutes gone by. All I could do is cry. The whole time my TV was static and VCR is making noises.

In the middle of all this I thought, "Why don't I give her my hand?" and it made me break down more. When she left she had put her hand down, looked at me and turned, it was like smoke separating. I sat up, looked around and ran straight to my parents' room. I told my parents everything and had to go to therapy. After seeing a therapist I learned very quickly not to tell anyone any of this.

Later on I kept wondering what would of happened if I would have gave her my hand. She never appeared again, but I did start having vivid dreams with her in them.

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The following comments are submitted by users of this site and are not official positions by Please read our guidelines and the previous posts before posting. The author, Aries30, has the following expectation about your feedback: I will read the comments and participate in the discussion.

notjustme (19 stories) (852 posts)
8 years ago (2015-03-13)
Sorry, the word I was actually looking for is astral projection, not hang out. I re-read my post and thought, if I were reading this from another point of view I'd be confused 😕
notjustme (19 stories) (852 posts)
8 years ago (2015-03-11)
Sorry for your loss. I believe it was her spirit coming to say goodbye to you and try to help you conclude her death. There's 3 types of people out there,
1. Scientific
2. Spiritual
3. Both

You will get many different responses to your story. I come from #3. There are times when our minds can trick us into seeing what we want. But in your case I believe it was #2, spiritual. I say this because I have many experiences of my own and I used to be strictly #1. After my own experiences I now know there are things science can't explain, and those who say everything is science probably has never has an experience or chooses to think that. If you gave her your hand, she would have taken you to "hang out". I know this because my mother did it to me when she died, several times. I saw my soul (if you will) come out and float off with her to a library. And I knew she was dead. She even told me she will always be there for me when I needed her and she will take me to go "play".
sds (14 stories) (1435 posts)
8 years ago (2015-03-10)
Hi Aries, I go with Val on this. It might be your Friend, perhaps was trying to comunicate that she is well. At the age of 11, many of us tend to get scared and our concept of spirit is usually related to something violent and not friendly. That might be the reason that you might have got scared.

Still people, who have passed on, come to visit their loved ones. That is not uncommon.

Thanks for sharing.

Regards and respects to you.

valkricry (47 stories) (3234 posts) mod
8 years ago (2015-03-09)
First I want to reassure you that counseling/therapy is not unusual after the death of someone we were close to. It doesn't automatically mean anyone thought you were crazy, just that you might need help in coping with the loss. I am sorry that the therapist you got apparently didn't handle the situation very well. I say that based on your comment, "After seeing a therapist I learned very quickly not to tell anyone any of this."
Personally, I think your delayed reaction of fear is fairly normal in an abnormal situation. At age eleven, we're just beginning to understand what death is, and seeing the dead just doesn't happen every day. Of course, it freaks you out, especially if you have had the influence of the belief of spirits are really demons, that seems so popular these days. After all Casper the friendly ghost isn't as lucrative or thrilling as a demon from hell.
Was this your mind simply trying to process your grief? Maybe. Did your friend come to visit you? An equal possibility. No one can tell you 100% for certain either way. However if I were you what I would chose to keep close, is your initial reaction was one of comfort, not fear.
PsychStudent (1 stories) (1 posts)
8 years ago (2015-03-09)
As a student working towards being a Registered Psychologist I could write you a thousand papers on how this is your unconscious trying to process your grief, sleep paralysis, or even potential PTSD symptoms; I can even fully understand why they would send you to therapy afterwords. However, as someone who fully believes in and has experienced many weird/demonic things, I would not simply label this as you coping. I do not have an explanation but it is possible the high amount of attachment and emotion helped in creating the situation you experienced with the paranormal; whether or not it was really your friend or something else, we may never know.
Agnet201195 (1 stories) (26 posts)
8 years ago (2015-03-08)
Oh maybe she came to see you and to say goodbye for a last time? But I don't think it would be a good idea giving her your hand for it might be dangerous and risky.
lady-glow (14 stories) (3041 posts)
8 years ago (2015-03-07)
Hi Aries: in my country (Mexico), many people believe that if a person were to shake hands with someone whom has already passed s/he would be risking to die too.
I do not know if this particular belief is true, but many years ago one of my coworkers died suddenly in a car crash; though not really close to him I was shocked for the circumstances of his passing and for the situation his pregnant wife and little daughter would have to face without him.
Anyway, I began dreaming about him quite often and one night I decided to talk to him and said something like: "G, I'm very sorry for what happened to you but I do not want to dream with you anymore" and then we shook hands and he turned into a beautiful light and never again have dreamed with him.
To this day I wonder if all those dreams were a way for my subconscious mind to deal with his death or if he really was trying to reach to me through my dreams... I didn't die but I felt better after talking to him.

I wouldn't be surprised if your friend came to say good bye and let you know that she was fine and free of all the suffering of her young body, and I can't blame you for getting scared, our times have forced us into believe that it is 'wrong' to see dead people and that makes me 'almost' understand the way your parents reacted.

Do you still dream with her? If so, try to talk to her, she might just want to know that you are fine.

Sorry for the long comment, I do not know if it helps.
Thanks for sharing your experience and welcome to YGS.
salonisolo (4 posts)
8 years ago (2015-03-07)
Hi Aries,

I think you might be halocinating. May be you have not still overcome from the shock of your best friend's death. I too sometimes feel like that someone is there.
Aries30 (1 stories) (2 posts)
8 years ago (2015-03-07)
You maybe right about manifestation from grief. I don't know much about that, but as far as saying I was asleep, I don't think so. I was feeling a sense of comfort followed quickly by reality. That really scared me, eyes were open crying scared stiff. I kept repeating please leave.
To the comment that's says, why be scared of a bestfriend shadow. Well at that age it could have been a Mickey Mouse shadow and would have scared me that bad. I don't fabricate, I just found this site and the real things people experience and can relate.
This isn't something all my friends and family know about.
BadJuuJuu (guest)
8 years ago (2015-03-07)
It sounds, to me, less like an actual visitation and more like a manifestation of your grief. Since you were unable to move, I think you may have still been asleep. Dreams can be extremely vivid, especially emotionally charged dreams. I think your subconscious was trying to process the concept of death, and presented you with this dream of your friend.
sushantkar (16 stories) (532 posts)
8 years ago (2015-03-07)
Hi Aries30! When she was your best friend, getting scared form her was little bit odd to read, despite of the reality that she was no more in flesh and blood.
Although, above is my perception.


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