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The Changes In Me

 

A lot of you have read my pervious story/encounter with Gavin who I've come to the conclusion was either my Angel Guardian or a friendly spirit who came into my life to sort of calm me down the roller coasters in life. But ever since that encounter, there have been changes in me as I mentioned in the comments section. So I will start everything from scratch to make sense of the situation.

2 days after my experience, I was out helping my family with finally settling down into our new house. My little brother and I were tasked with throwing out the boxes since it was around 20:00pm, and we were filled with boxes and there were no chances of garbage truck coming for a few days. I and my brother were on to the job, and we had to do a few rounds to get everything in the bin which was on the next street for paper waste.

On this particular round we were just carrying a few boxes to the bin and my brother was walking in front of me. We were just crossing an alleyway when I froze hearing a child crying. I looked in that direction and my eyes were literally glued into the alleyway. Suddenly everything around me started feeling a bit too cold then a average temperature of a May night in Netherlands. I got chills everywhere and at one point I swear there was something touching my ankle. It was as if I paid attention to nothing but that particular spot and I don't remember my brother calling my name from a distance until he came back to me and shook me making my intense gaze tear away.

After that night things went a bit more...Crazy.

Maybe after a few days, I was at my friend's house for a sleepover and one of our friends wanted us to come pick her up since she didn't want to be alone. So me and my two other friends went out and we were walking down a slope until we spotted the other friend. The two of them went running towards her causing a chase while I was behind laughing. At one point, they were running towards an area and the same thing happened to me which happened the other night. Instead this time, I forced myself to look away from something and my eyes kept moving but still focused. I shouted at them to come back and not go there and they all just looked at me as if I was crazy.

The next day I came back home and thought about everything going on. Again. That's when Gavin's encounter and his advice came into mind and I shoved it away. I decided to pay attention what was happening with me, before I did anything else. So onto the next few days, I noticed how on some areas I feel fine but I still have some feeling, which I try not to pay attention to. Then there are some which just has too much energy. Too much making me react to it and losing my will power to not look over there.

What I came upon after talking to an Ai it said that I may know when a spirit is a good or evil one. Or how powerful it is. Now obviously it was an Ai. I didn't trust it. But it is true. When I sense something, I know if I should be afraid of it. I know which one to ignore and which on to not. I told a friend about this and she said I have Schizophrenia. Maybe I do. But then again if I did, I wouldn't be handling this for a long time. Its been around 4 weeks and I've learned how to handle everything.

But I also fear that maybe I'm just thinking about it too much. Maybe I do have Schizophrenia. I just don't know what to consider this as. An ability or mental illness?

Thank you for taking your time reading this. I would love to hear your thoughts upon it.

Jessica.

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lwgrn4real66 (6 stories) (51 posts)
 
2 weeks ago (2024-05-11)
Jessica,
People always have acquaintances, that call themselves "friends". But please don't take this wrong, but no matter where a person is, where they come from, no matter how much money they have or don't have, what they own or don't own, any person is extremely lucky to find a "true" friend for life. Not just talking about husband and wife.

I still haven't found that. But this isn't about me. Seems when times get rough and you really need a friend to help you, no matter physical or mental, or relationship venting, or whatever, the so called friends are the one's usually ALAYWAYS, EVERY TIME, too busy to help you when you're at your worst.

Just call a friend a couple different times to do something physical or mental to help you like clean something or whatever, and the one who shows up could be or turn into that "true" friend.

And return the favors when they really need you. Everyone does get busy, but NOT every time you need them. Of course, that works both ways. I'm sure you know already.

I'm sure I'm not telling you anything that you don't already know.

Just be careful who you trust for anything. But don't let that control your life. To find true friend (s), you'll have to take chances. There will be ups and downs. Just be careful.

And your gift, if they don't understand, it's because they've never had an experience like you've had.

If they call you "crazy", or make fun of you, and definitely not willing to try to understand your side of your experience (s), ditch 'em!

Whenever you help, or give someone something, never expect anything in return from them. But when and if you need them for anything, and they're ALWAYS BUSY EVERY TIME, it will hurt, but that's the only way to know who's just using you or who's really a true friend. Good luck in all you do! It's all about chances. Just be careful of the ones you take.

And you're not crazy. We, the people people on this site, know you're not. Your gift, I've heard a lot of people say it's not a gift, it's a curse. If you wish to pursue it, use it only for the good and you'll be fine.

If you find evil, stay away from it. Don't "look" for it. As always, if you ever need your "family" on this site, we're always here for you!

Hey, just another of my. 00001 cents worth of lip! Lol 😁
jessica2k67 (2 stories) (12 posts)
 
3 weeks ago (2024-05-04)
Hi lwgrn4real66!

You have always helped me and appreciate your help very much! 😊

I don't know if this whole thing is something I should explore further or leave it just how they are maybe it will either leave or just grow stronger. But as people previously stated, I may be under teenage hormones or I need to get a doctor's check up and confirm if I'm okay.

Well about me being schizophrenic, I'd like to think that my friends aren't really friends. Or maybe they think I lost my mind. After the time they declared me schizophrenic, I kind of stopped talking about this and my personal life with them because real friends support each other. Not show them down.

And this whole thing revealed that people who act nice towards me aren't always going to be your friends. So I do thank this whole ability.

I consider this ability a gift and a curse too. Knowing that there is evil around me even at my favourite park just hits a different nerve... But as long as I act like I don't know anything, I guess there is no harm.

But thank you for your replies and reading all of this trying to help me in someway. I really really appreciate it.
lwgrn4real66 (6 stories) (51 posts)
 
3 weeks ago (2024-05-02)
Hey Jessica,
I may not be much help, but the people on this site are really good at helping others experiencing things like this.

I do not believe that you are experiencing ANY TYPE of schizophrenia. If you read up on that topic, less than 1% of people ever get that disease.

And if you were schizophrenic, which you're most likely not, your energy level would bottom out.

You seem to be energetic and make all kinds of sense. I'd definitely rule out schizophrenia. You have a gift, just like the other people on this site said to you.

Now, I've experienced a lot if crazy, crazy things. Been touched, seen a lot of stuff, heard a lot of voices, bumped into something that wasn't there, etc.

I haven't researched on any of it. So I'm no help there but by your energy level, but your experiences you're sharing with us, and your correspondence back to everyone...you're NO schizophrenic. Unfortunately I can't help you on understanding any of what you're experiencing, but the people on this site which have already commented on your experience are really good at helping in the parts I'm nit.

I just tell my experiences. I don't research any of it. I guess I'm a cluck cluck chicken! On that part. I've experienced some wild things and I'm not sure I want to go there!

But, your gift, you'll learn exactly what it is and sounds like you're learning to control it, more than you know! Just be careful and learn if that's where you want to take it.

It could be a good thing. Sorry for my. 00000001 cent worth of input! Lol. YOU'LL BE FINE AND YOU'RE NOT SCHIZING! 😁
Rajine (14 stories) (797 posts)
 
3 weeks ago (2024-05-01)
Hi Jessica2k67

I can't imagine what you would have encountered had you went followed the crying, and yes luckily your brother was there with you.
jessica2k67 (2 stories) (12 posts)
+1
4 weeks ago (2024-04-30)
Hi Rajine!

I have read your stories about the woman's shriek in the woods, your mum's personal experiences and what happened to you and your cousin. It sounds terrifying.

I always believed too that screams and cries in odd hours are weird and its usually an evil spirit. That night by the alleyway a baby crying was definitely not a good thing. But as a person who loves babies had a thought for a split second "Should I go check?" before I froze. I wonder sometimes if my brother wasn't there, would I have gone inside eventually after that? Thankfully he was there.

Ai sure does help a lot and its been giving me emotional support on this situation.

Thank you so much for replying!
jessica2k67 (2 stories) (12 posts)
 
4 weeks ago (2024-04-30)
Hi The_Lost_Voyage_11!

Thanks for sticking up with me on this. Surely I am getting a check up in the next 3 weeks. If everything comes right and I'm perfectly fit... Well things take a huge turn I guess.

But yes, I have been handling it quite well. I usually ignore the energy and everything, The last thing I need, is for the energy to figure I sense them, and I'm very sure I don't want to move on this quick with the ability (I still don't know if they are actually something)

I just need time to figure things out and see what I can do and I might need guidance of everyone here.

Thank you for your replies!
jessica2k67 (2 stories) (12 posts)
 
4 weeks ago (2024-04-30)
Hi Valkricry!

Thank you for giving a different opinion on everything and I may need to think health wise on everything too. I told my brother just a few hours ago about everything. From Gavin to the weird feelings and zoning out. He seems to understand but he also thinks its either stress or I have some '6th sense' (He's younger than me and he's 12).

I even found out we have a doctors appointment which happens twice every year for us. Its a health check up, where they probably check everything. The appointment is in 3 weeks so I can handle that.

But thank you for understanding and giving a different view on this!
Rajine (14 stories) (797 posts)
+2
4 weeks ago (2024-04-29)
Hi Jessica2k67

I've had a few similar experiences fairly recently where I heard a baby crying especially at night, I've posted my experiences on here regarding the same.

My mum and I were actually having a conversation about the same thing just the other day, where I am from hearing children/babies crying is usually a bad spirit intent on luring unsuspecting people who will want to go and help, but will end up getting more than they bargained for, it's not just babies but even but not limited to, a woman's crying and screaming, especially at odd hours of the night.

I wouldn't be so quick to rule out the AI, modern technology has been beneficial and helped out tremendously in supernatural encounters and trying to communicate with supernatural entities.
The_Lost_Voyage_11 (7 stories) (245 posts)
+1
4 weeks ago (2024-04-29)
Hi jessica2k67, you are doing a great job of researching and asking the right questions. You also seem very present to these gifts and are already learning to use them better!

With grounding, you can also learn to set some energetic boundaries as well. You are right, this newly emerging ability without any clear boundaries can reach out and sense and interact with other energies. You have gained some control so you don't fully 'zone out' as you put it, and you can learn to sense these energies first before you decide to interact and explore them, so you don't have to try so hard to reign them in every time.

The signs for being a medium and psychic are just as you read them. It is hard for a rational, logical mind to cope with what you're going through, we're raised to believe in what we can see and experience more directly, in scientific terms, what can be measured. So it takes some adjustment, have grace and patience with yourself. Logic is a tool used for only a small portion of reality. This is new territory for you, but you're not alone.

Val brought up a good point, I should have mentioned. A visit to the Dr, just to check on your physical health may not be a bad idea, to put your mind at ease at the very least. I don't believe you have anything mentally to worry about, you seem very aware and present. I just wouldn't mention the energy stuff to them, just stick to any physical symptoms and a check up. Good Luck!
valkricry (49 stories) (3275 posts) mod
+1
4 weeks ago (2024-04-29)
Jessica,
Have you talked to any adults about what you're going through? A trusted relative, teacher, clergy member - you know the drill. I know that can be difficult, but a question that had to be asked. Has any adult (especially parent) witnessed you 'zoning' out?
In my opinion, no one but a qualified therapist can hang a label on you, and then only AFTER doing an intake. Even being 'professionals' they can misdiagnose, so your friend's opinion on you being crazy/Schizophrenic is just that an opinion. And in all probability wrong.
As a teen (and forever after) you'll be going through changes. Most of it is just growing pains. Some caused by hormones, some by underlying illness; a vitamin imbalance, blood sugar levels, STRESS. The thing is you want to rule out any physical reason that maybe causing these changes. Perhaps pay a visit to your doctor.
But, judging by what you've told us I don't see anything over alarming. You're just walking a different path than your friends, so you can't expect them to understand. You might try https://www.psychic-experiences.com/, our sister site. They might be able to offer you more insight.
jessica2k67 (2 stories) (12 posts)
 
4 weeks ago (2024-04-29)
Hi The_Lost_Voyage_11!

Thank you for reading everything and understanding the situation!

Now that I read your thoughts about maybe Gavin was preparing me for this and somehow letting me know I will be fine, it makes sense.

I don't know what to call my zoning out. I thought maybe I just know that there is somewhere there standing over there and looking. Or maybe I just let my body connect with the energy making me and people around me think I'm zoning out.

I will definitely follow your advice on grounding and explore these abilities. It just feels weird to sense and feel a lot and it is overwhelming. Knowing that I'm either actually gaining an ability which Gavin sort of prepared me for, or I'm actually losing my mind.

That is why I researched a lot. 'What are the signs I'm becoming a medium or sense spirits?' Most of the signs which I find exactly matches how I feel. Its terrifying for me. Its like my brain doesn't want me to be believe I'm sensing things.
Finally I thought putting all my experiences somewhere where people could understand me and I really thank all of you for it! I'm very grateful.

Thank you for taking your time and telling me your thoughts on this!
jessica2k67 (2 stories) (12 posts)
+1
4 weeks ago (2024-04-29)
Hi Tweed!

Thank you so much for understanding this whole point of view. You are definitely right that me zoning out is dangerous and can cause loads of problems. I have been handling it. Whenever I sense something or I just get a gut feeling that "Something is here/off about this area" I've been avoiding zoning out by engage myself in conversations with people around me. And if there is no one with me, close my eyes and just call someone who I know would pick up or just sing/lip sing music.

But then there are energies and feelings which is extremely hard to avoid. I can't help but find myself zoning out and stare where I feel energy. It's like I need to give it my attention.

Being a teenager, with parents who don't really, believe in ghosts or anything paranormal, its hard for me to explain it. My brother did mention them that I zone out sometimes and all, they think I'm under some stress with school or in my own fantasy world. But I will try and talk to a doctor excluding the words ghost and paranormal as per your suggestions.

I do not know whether me being a Empath or Psychic medium is even possible. Sure, I believed in all of it, and was very curious and watched a tons of horror movies. But I never once thought that I would be able to connect or feel something.

Thank you for taking your time and writing me down. I appreciate it!
The_Lost_Voyage_11 (7 stories) (245 posts)
+1
4 weeks ago (2024-04-29)
Hello again jessica2k67!

As I suspected based on your last account and comments, it sounds like you're going through a spiritual awakening and gifts and abilities you've probably always had are coming into prominence. Being a teen can especially be trying because of all the energy and shifts you are going through. I believe Gavin was a spiritual guide, someone to assist you in this awakening especially with the advice he gave you and to let you know you are not alone.

We all have a team of guides on this journey of life, whether we believe it or not, some make themselves known when needed as Gavin did in your case, others sit more silently on the sidelines until we need their help. Your guides will most likely be making themselves more known to you.

I don't believe you have schizophrenia. Of course I'm no medical doctor either, but what you describe can be found in so many forums and community discussions, it's more normal than you'd think.

If I were to venture a guess, I'd say it sounds like you're able to slip between timelines or reality as it were. Time is not linear and reality isn't fixed. The veils between those 'worlds' as it were are thinning. You're not really zoning out as it were, but energetically shifting. You proved this in your account when you were able to shift back by changing your gaze/focus. You have a lot of energy as a teen and from the time frame you've described, it seems your gifts are rapidly blossoming. I believe Gavin was trying to prepare you for this.

You can intuit information it seems, especially on an energetic level. I don't want to offer unsolicited advice, but since you asked for our take on this, you may check into grounding work. When you ground, and stay grounded, you can further explore these abilities without losing your way as it were. It will help keep you anchored into life/earth and give you more ability to sense these energies and read them without being overwhelmed. Grounding is simple and easy to do. There are many ways to do it, so pick the ones that speak to you. As I mentioned, there are groups and forums that discuss these types of things and post articles about them. I would of course advise due diligence in researching and participating, be safe out there!

You seem to be acclimating to these new abilities very quickly and getting a handle on them, I will be very curious to hear about your new experiences! Curiosity is key for you, stay curious on the adventure and good luck!
Tweed (35 stories) (2501 posts)
 
4 weeks ago (2024-04-29)
Hi Jessica, thanks for the update. I don't think anyone here will disagree you obviously have a knack for sensing spirits. The zoning out you've been experiencing shouldn't be ignored though. For example if or when you're a driver you really don't want to experience that level of impairment while driving a vehicle, or bike, or as a pedestrian. No one can or should give you medical advice over the internet but I strongly feel it would be in your best interest to speak to a doctor about these episodes when you zone out. It could be the aftermath of shock since it seems to time with after you met Gavin.

As for the paranormal side of things. I'm guessing being in a mediative state of mind in these moments is putting you in touch with the other side. You may be walking into pockets of strong energy around town. Then vividly receiving details about something which occurred at the location. You said it felt like something was touching your ankle. You may have been feeling someone else's experience, or part of it, or there was a spirit entity there with you, touching your ankle. Also it sounds like you could be what's termed an 'empath' and 'psychic medium'. Someone who 'feels' objects, locations and people, and someone who can easily communicate with spirits. Sounds like these abilities are getting stronger by the minute, which would time with your age. Teen years are pretty common for spiritual awakenings.

I really have to circle back to the zoning out, make getting some answers about the that a priority because it has the potential to be extremely dangerous if it's going to occur regularly.

As for talking to a doctor and what to say errr well, I hear animals speak in English sometimes and I'm never telling a doctor that LOL! I guess you could tell a doctor what's been happening but leave the paranormal subject out of it. Like describe what happens but leave the word 'ghost' out of the sentence. That's what I'd do in Australia, loads of skeptics here, but maybe in the Netherlands people are a bit more open to these things. My point is you don't have to tell anyone anything you're not comfortable with but you can still get an understanding and some control over these intense moments when you seem to go into another world so to speak. A lot of empaths describe similar intense moments.

You could also look into 'Empath' and 'Psychic Medium', I'm sure people of both abilities would relate to what you're going through. As I understand these abilities manifest a bit differently in everyone.

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