You can call me Hazel as it is my nickname.
I live in São Paulo, Brazil. I am 23 years old, finishing undergraduate studies.
Three weeks ago, I bought the book "Exorcist" by Thomas B. Allen. He studied the case of the exorcised boy that inspired the old film "Exorcist". The book is amazing, for it contains precious information and the diary of a Bishop who was with the Exorcist priest.
The problem is that since I bought this book and started reading it, cuts have been appearing on my hands. They scratch, burn, and there they are: not very long cuts, but disturbing ones.
Why I mentioned the book: the boy get cuts all over his body due to demonic possession. I don't believe that I am becoming possessed by a demon, but each day things get worse. I feel extremely tired, I feel anger, and I feel my heartbeat raise when the phenomenon happens (it is not anxiety, the other symptoms don't appear and my medicine is working well for my panic issues).
Sometimes I feel an energy "to couple" to my back, and it starts burning. In my home I see blurred figures flying over the ceiling and over the stairs. I am not scared. I told the thing I am going to fight until the end. Last night, I heard a voice before I went to sleep and it said "you're not going to make it". I don't care.
The cuts don't appear just when I am reading the book, they appear randomly. I talked to a priest but he hadn't the knowledge to help me. Spiritualists seem only want to help ghosts, not humans. I am lost.
If I believe it is a demon? I don't know. But I believe that is it a strong evil force, and I don't understand what it is trying to do, since the cuts only annoy me. But sometimes I feel disturbed, for the energy cross my body and sometimes it stays in one part of it,"glued".
Could somebody help? Is this phenomenon a start of a possession? Is there a ghost in my house? If yes, what the heck does it wants from me/us?