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My Dear Friend Gone


My ex-husband and I married in 1993. Our wedding was a simple country wedding with quite a few attendants each. The bridesmaids wore custom made denim dresses and carried grape vine wreaths decorated with Indian Paintbrushes and Bluebonnets. The wreaths were about 12 inches from one side to the other on the outside measurement. We had them made with a bottom put in them and then an 8-10 inch hurricane lamp filled with marbles and a 6inch white candle inside the lamp that all fit inside the wreath. They were quite heavy as you can imagine. They served as really neat center pieces.

My ex had a groomsman that was a very close friend to the both of us. He had married at an early age and the young lady that he married was not but 15yrs when they married. Her parents consented and my friend; Buck, was a good man to marry. After my husband and I were married we spent lots of time with Buck and his wife. My ex was very good about talking down to me and talking to me in a way that made me feel stupid. Buck used to ask me why I put up with it and why was I married to him?

My ex and I had been married about a year and a half and we had a wonderful, beautiful 6 month old son. Buck and his wife had split up after a marriage of many ups and downs. You really had to feel for him because he was such a wonderful person. My ex and I were living in an apartment. The apartments were only two-storied flats and we lived on a corner apartment on a quiet street. The couple that lived below us was an older couple and they were very quiet. The apartment next to us was vacant.

On a mild winter Saturday in January 1995 I was matron of honor in my best friends wedding. We were getting ready for her to walk down the aisle when I received the news that my dear dear friend Buck had committed suicide. He had been just really torn up over the loss of his wife and he had lived a sad life bearing witness to things as a child that no child should ever go through. So many of us wished that we had gotten just one more moment with him. We had him over to our place just a few days before he died. I was so close to him that he was even special to my parents. He had gone by the day before his death to show my Daddy his new truck. My Daddy said he acted as if there was nothing wrong.

That dreadful Saturday went by so slowly. That night as I lay in bed unable to sleep, I encountered my first ever haunting. Keep in mind that it was winter. Yes, West Texas winters are not so cold to a lot of you but for us, it is cold enough that we do not open our windows especially at night. We had a dresser about 3ft from the foot of the bed. The top of the dresser probably measured about 2 1/2 ft wide and about 2ft deep. It was an antique dresser so it was very well made and very heavy. I had one of the center pieces from our wedding set right in the middle of it.

As I was lying there unable to sleep, I heard the most unbelievable sound. I could not for the life of me figure out what it was. I got up and turned the lights on and found the centerpiece lying on the floor off to the side of the dresser. Bear in mind that it did not tip over and it did not break. It was as though something lifted it and then dropped it somehow managing not to tip it or break it. My ex woke up but did not pay much attention. With the gift that I have, there was no second guessing that it was done by Buck's spirit. I know deep down inside me that was who did it. I think he was taking care by not breaking it.

The funeral was not scheduled until Monday morning. It was a rough weekend. Sunday night I had to get some sleep, I was exhausted. It did not take me long to go out. Later in the night I was once again awakened by yet another sound. My first thought went to the center piece. So, I got up and turned on the lights. The centerpiece was right where it should be. I started to look around. We had a bathroom off of our bedroom. At the vanity I had our toothbrush holder on the left of the faucet and a cup on the right. The cup was a little solid cup that you would normally by for your bathroom. It wasn't heavy by any means but it did have some weight to it. When I got to looking for the cause of the sound, I discovered the cup lying in the sink like it had been knocked off. Once again there was no wind nor any big movements that would have caused the cup to fall or the centerpiece to fall. I still know both occurrences were caused by Buck.

The odd part to all of this is that Buck was buried the next morning and after that there were no other occurrences of any type that happened while we lived in that apartment. I knew that he would never cause any harm to me even as a spirit. I think it was his way of saying I'm here, don't forget me. I think also he was saying that he was still frustrated, even in death. I think he knew that his death was not an answer to his problems. It makes me sad even to this day that it took him dying to realize this and it just made more problems.

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The following comments are submitted by users of this site and are not official positions by Please read our guidelines and the previous posts before posting. The author, conocoshel, has the following expectation about your feedback: I will read the comments and participate in the discussion.

H2olily (5 stories) (157 posts)
10 years ago (2012-11-07)
Aw, I wanted to write something funny about the real scary part of this story was that those custom-made denim bridesmaid dresses were still out there somewheres, and just fell in love with Buck. What a sweetheart he must have been. RIP Buck.
Pjod (3 stories) (978 posts)
12 years ago (2010-02-25)
ah, poor guy. Problem with marrying at such a young age, people change. Dramatic change between the ages of 15 and 20. Again in the mid 20's to early 30's. Alot of heartache could be avoided if folks were wise to these age changes and waited until their mid 30's before trying to settle down.
conocoshel (1 stories) (3 posts)
12 years ago (2010-02-23)
You know, I am very sorry that my friend is gone too but just so you all know that I truly believe he is ok and there is a peace that comes to me when I remember or think of him. The sad part for me is that he missed out on life and getting to know my current husband and kids or the possibility of having a happy marriage and kids himself. Thank you for all your thoughts and concerns.
DeviousAngel (11 stories) (1910 posts)
12 years ago (2010-02-23)
I'm so sorry to hear about your hardships and your loss. Buck sounded like a really good person and it's best that you haven't had any recent activity, because that suggests that he's moved on. It's a really terrible thing when someone takes their own life, because they don't realize how much they leave behind. I think the centerpiece being on the floor (though not broken) was Buck's way of telling you that you needed to get away from your ex so that you would not be hurt. I feel strongly that he took something beautiful (the centerpiece, which he felt represented you in the marriage) and moved it to the ground (somewhere else safe) without hurting it (before you can be harmed).

Thank you for sharing your story, and I wish the best to you and yours.
MsAngelsndemons (guest)
12 years ago (2010-02-23)
Your story is heart breaking. If something happen to my best friend, I will not be so sure on how to deal with it. Atleast Buk said his finall goodbye. 😭

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