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Loss Of A Dear Friend


I work in the medical profession and have been at the same facility for 30 years. Through the years people came and quit but a constant was a very good friend I made my first day, her name was Kim. She was dependable, funny and hardworking. We became as close as coworkers could get without being involved. I often would sneak up and scare her because her reactions were priceless. She would often tell me if I ever scared her to death she would come back and get even. She did, once. I think because she never lied. She was always one to tell the truth. Then one day it all changed.

Kim was taking a friend who did not drive to the store on her day off, she was thoughtful like that all the time. The store is located at the bottom of a steep series of hills. A grandmother who had her 3 grandchildren in her car thought it would be a good idea to take the children for a joy ride over those hills for a thrill. Only she had been drinking all day and smoking pot. Taking the hill at 70 mph she hit Kim's car from the back driving it into a telephone pole killing Kim instantly and maiming her passenger. Thankfully the kids were not hurt as well as the grandmother.

Watching the footage of Kim being towed away still in the car with a blanket over her because they could not cut her out on scene will stay with me forever. Several days of work without Kim it hit me. It really happened. She was dead. A woman who never said a single bad word, nor drank was murdered by a drunk driver.

About 2 weeks after I was called to work several hours early by the charge nurse. Mainly because of living 2 blocks away and my longevity. We were also good friends and she knew I would come in even though she gave me a cryptic reason. "We have a situation and I cannot call the police." I was there by 3 am. We have a very secure building with several protective measures such as codes and such to enter and leave because of residents with dementia, so I knew it was probably not an intruder. The nurse, Mary told me all my staff are accounted for (all women), and a bathroom in the remotest part of the building was showing occupied. Thinking somehow it was one of the residents, she went and checked only to find a blinking light and a woman crying inside and not responding to anything being said to her. We both went straight to the bathroom in question and to be honest I thought an ex employee or current one might be behind it all.

We got there and it was exactly as advertised, blinking light crying woman, unresponsive. But I had heard the cry before. It was the day Kim had told me she had caught her husband having an affair. But I wrote that off to still feeling the loss, no way it could be Kim. I tried my best to get this woman out even joking the stress of the job had had me resort to breaking down and locking myself in rooms. After about 5 minutes the light stayed on, the crying stopped. Total silence. I have a master key that opens all but a few doors and used it. I unlocked the door to...nobody. An empty ordinary bathroom was open to us.

Mary only knew Kim slightly and said "I thought it sounded like Kim." She was saying what I was thinking. We never reported it to admin, nor anybody else. We would be ridiculed, made fun of or just be thought of as nuts.

Having met Kim's sister at her funeral I decided to ask her of her opinion. I was scared to do so because the wound was and still is raw. Her sister related a story of driving past the crash sight and seeing Kim in her rear view mirror but was afraid of the same things Mary and I were if she told anybody. Knowing how close we were her sister told me she believed it was Kim. We have since become good friends and call each other if Kim stops by. Which is several times a year. She let\'s us both know by little Kim things as we call them. Flickering of lights when she is discussed, vivid dreams we both have of the same memory. A cold blast of air around that date in July when she was taken.

I often talk to her at work telling her she should go home. I think she is either confused or unaware she is dead. I know she never had a bad bone in her body in life so she would not do any harm in death on purpose. Unless she is keeping her promise to me about payback. I would like to see her rest, because of the way she died I don't know if that is possible. I miss my friend and love her dearly. I hope she finds peace one day. Having told her numerous times she should go be with her parents and all her old fur babies I have run out of ideas. Rest in peace Kim.

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The following comments are submitted by users of this site and are not official positions by Please read our guidelines and the previous posts before posting. The author, moondog, has the following expectation about your feedback: I will read the comments and participate in the discussion.

Meldel (6 stories) (39 posts)
5 years ago (2018-08-25)
Hi Moondog
I can imagine the sorrow you must feel, particularly arriving at work each day knowing that your special friend will not be around. I am so sorry. I have heard of many accounts where someone has passed very suddenly and are not aware that they are no longer with us. I also firmly believe that the only part that actually dies is the body. The soul never dies. In thought your special friend will be with you always. Blessings to you Moondog.
Melda (10 stories) (1363 posts)
5 years ago (2018-08-22)
Moondog - Beautiful and heartfelt response from you.

She knows of the prayer and the blessing offered up for her - I don't doubt that for a moment ❤

Talk to her when you feel the need to do so, she'll hear you 😊

Regards, Melda
Caz (342 posts)
5 years ago (2018-08-21)
Sounds as though Kim has found her bearings Moondog and that's good to hear, so thank you for letting us know!
moondog (4 stories) (5 posts)
5 years ago (2018-08-21)
I would like to thank everyone who took the time to read my story. I would also like to thank you as well because I have few true friends and hurt when they do. A quick update if I may. Due to all the people on scene filming this event beyond the tape the decision was made by family to try and leave Kim a little respect by having her towed away. We did not know her lower body was severed and through the firewall. I was honored by the family by being asked if I had any ideas. She was clearly trying to communicate. After consulting my friend who is a Padre at the local Catholic church we came to the conclusion being it was so sudden she did not understand or would not understand her situation. We held a very low key blessing of where she died and the spot in the yard where her car what's left of it sits. A brief prayer and blessing, and each of us saying a few words has seemed to end her visits. Losing her a 2nd time. One night her sister asked me to accompany her to the yard before they crushed her car. A very misty figure about 4 foot 11 (her height) was frantically pointing at the back floor of the car. We tried in vain to get at what she was pointing at and finally got it. It was a cd we would play at work endlessly. Kim made it and knew how fond I was of it. To anyone contemplating drinking and driving you need only look up fatal Taylor Pa Hill accident to see what it does. It is a matter of public record and very sad but proves all I said here. If I can stop 1 dui from happening it is worth the time to put my story for all to read. Did I drink and drive? Sadly yes until that day. I feel shame on being a hypocrite but it has never and will never happen again. I keep a fresh rose at her work station and change it every week. Thank you all again for your kind comments and words. She was no Saint for sure but closer than most. Sadly her husband has never come to terms and periodically is locked up for his own safety. God Bless you both.
Caz (342 posts)
5 years ago (2018-08-21)
Hi Moondog,
I'm sorry to hear about your friend Kim and I see you've been trying to persuade her to 'go home', but have you never considered that she may not be able to? While it's true that some spirits may 'choose' to linger here for one reason or another, it's also true that some need 'help' to cross over and your friend may well be one of those. Now I'm not a religious person, but I do have a strong belief in the power of prayer... Because I've experienced it for myself many times. My advice would be to ask 'the powers that be' to please send someone to collect your friend and take her home. Also, if you know anyone else you feel may be willing to ask the same on Kim's behalf, then that's better still. Hope this helps!
Melda (10 stories) (1363 posts)
5 years ago (2018-08-19)
moondog - The sudden, tragic death of someone close to you is so very painful. My sincere condolences.

In fact even when you know that somebody's days are numbered and you think you are prepared for their passing, the truth is that you are never prepared. It's still a shock.

Very possibly spirits linger on this earth because of the shock of their sudden, unnatural passing and they aren't ready to move on. Does the spirit understand what happened? Is there agreement with the spirit's spiritual guardians to allow a particular spirit to linger, for some reason unknown to we humans?

I wish I had the answer to some of these questions.

I do believe that you will once again meet up with your dear friend once your days on earth are over.

Regards, Melda
fallenangel028 (3 stories) (5 posts)
5 years ago (2018-08-19)

I'm sorry for your loss.

I did look up protocol regarding towing a car away with a deceased person inside, and there are laws against that sort of thing. A coroner has to pronounce the victim deceased at the scene, and they must be removed from the vehicle... The tow truck operator could be held liable otherwise.
Cups (7 stories) (159 posts)
5 years ago (2018-08-18)
This is so heartbreaking... I'm so sorry about the death of your friend. I haven't any real advice for you, maybe just meditate with her in your mind & suggest she find some peace? I do feel that when lives are taken abruptly & tragically, that soul can have a hard time distinguishing this plane from another. I hope someone has a better suggestion than mine, and that you find some peace as well. ❤
RCRuskin (9 stories) (788 posts)
5 years ago (2018-08-18)
Well, there's rest, and then there is rest. What is so wrong with hanging out with friends and family?

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