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In My Head?

 

Good evening all, thank you for taking your time to read my first post. I went through a really tough time when I was a kid with emotional balance. I had imaginary friends but a while ago I was informed he wasn't just any ordinary imaginary friend.

In Jr. High I had a boyfriend that was deep into dark magic. I was ignorant and stupid in Jr. High due to my sheltered history. After he dumped me, I broke down and in my time of misery I met my friend who helped me become the proud young lady I am today.

Two years ago I began hearing an additional voice in my head (if that makes any sense). I usually insult myself to give myself a reality check but the voice I heard was not me and it was a male.

My friend helped understand that it was a demon with no physical form that was able to get into my head and talk to me. He made his presence known by the use of my writing. I was writing in school once and suddenly I was writing for him. It was a warning to run, and that later I would be running back to him. That's when I began to feel him and I liked it. He brought me comfort and helped get over my ex whom I loved with all I had and losing him destroyed me.

Later he opened a discussion with me and I knew in my gut he was bad. By getting to know me as a child he was perfect to approach me. V (that's his name) I had no shame when talking to him. My friend and I had a separation and I began to confide in him and I have come to feel love... For him, if that is possible. He's the only thing who's been there for me other than my books, my writing or my blade (in the past I participated in self-harm which made everyone see me as a freak). He takes breaks and leaves, I have gotten used to it.

When it comes to violent actions, once he got mad at me when I was making my mom's bed (I was home alone) and in a flash my hand hit the mirror on the frame of the bed and my nail broke. After that he left again and apologized later. His most common violent out lash is choking me. It can be random, or if he's mad (I tend to insult him a lot and not be submissive) he just temporarily leaves me gagging on my bed from the lack of air.

Just yesterday when I was walking home at noon I felt pressure on my throat and thought it was due to the fact that I ate lot before, but it was just pressure on my neck and I was coughing as if I was going to vomit but I never did. After pleading mentally for him to stop, only was I able to breathe. As for sleep paralysis it's only happened once but the digest pain was in my throat since he was really choking me and I was praying in my head since I couldn't speak. I don't know where this leads since he's gone a lot.

He's just the major one. For about 3 months my head was a motel for demons, or fallen angels or dark ones, to rest and hold meetings. A fallen angel, S (his name), also came in my head and it turns out he's dark too since that's why hes fallen. But I like them and they tell me I have powers, I'm different, but I have only come to believe this since it's what kept me alive or sane.

A new one has come in. It's a double gender one since I can't tell and C (that's his/her name), this ones stronger but we need each other and I would just like advice and possible outcomes to know how to cope. If anyone's really interested in helping, I would be grateful.

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The following comments are submitted by users of this site and are not official positions by yourghoststories.com. Please read our guidelines and the previous posts before posting. The author, saymyname, has the following expectation about your feedback: I will participate in the discussion and I need help with what I have experienced.

saymyname (1 stories) (2 posts)
 
4 years ago (2014-03-02)
Recently some big changes have come upon my life, I haven't gone to a psychiatrist or told my parents, especially since we are not getting along so well 😐, I have become closer with some of my guy friends that are much more laid back, respectful and in a way more understanding than some of the friends I was around before. I have also precoded to ensure that people who do no goos to me are not part of my life and that has helped me immensely in mu determination to get them out of my head. I had a talk with the friend who is in my story and even though were not as close anymore she helped empower me and develop a determination to "purify" myself and become a better person and reach all of my potentials since the demons have been holding me back. Thank you all for your great support and understanding, to those who don't believe me, I'm understanding your point of view, at one time I though like that but I can only thank you for sharing your constructive analysis of my situation. Uvall_Knows_All: If you feel comfortable sharing I would I am interested in knowing: 1. How did you get rid of the demon you dealt with? 2. How you managed to protect yourself from any further attempt of influence from them? 3. Did you ever partake in white magic or pagan magic rituals to help get rid of your demon? 3. How did the astral forces serve you as a way to help you get rid of your demon? Triskaideka: I'm sorry for what you went through 😢 I am grateful for your motivating advice. For you as well if you feel comfortable sharing I would be benifted from knowing how a spiritual aspect can be used to get rid of the demons for good. Miracles51031: Thank you for reading over my story ^-^
Uvall_Knows_All (4 posts)
 
4 years ago (2014-02-20)
I have had a lot of help from a friend that wouldn't let me isolate myself, and now I just have one presence that lives with me. If you ever need anything I'm here 😊
saymyname (1 stories) (2 posts)
 
4 years ago (2014-02-19)
Thank you all:) you are truly helping meIm sorry I dragged I coudn't figure out how to posta comment 😠, Triskaideka: V's name is really Victor, I am used to calling him V not by his real name, it was quite a hassle to find out his real name. I am aware of how reaching out towards an adult might help it would not make things easier for me. Griff84: I have kind of established myself as someone of value to them so I won't be seen as just a pawn but also they do not succeed in persuading me. WishfulNull: Thank you for your understanding, My situation at home is not adaptable towards my parents even considering anything I say as nonsense. Gaeralin: I do not have ADHD, any tests I've had done have shown anything. 😐 Uvall_Knows_All: You are a strong person and I can only imagine what immense pain you went through. I would love to gain the knowledge you have seen fit to help you.
Gaeralin (2 posts)
+1
4 years ago (2014-02-18)
Hello. I have ADHD and panic/anxiety issues, I am curious if you may have ADHD as well reason being, as a human being it is easy to criticize ourselves mentally using an internal voice so to speak but a person with ADHD can do so with multiple inner voices at once. Part of insulting yourself includes convincing yourself that other feel the same way which could be why the "voices" seem to have other voices... Add anxiety and panic into the mix and you start to feel physically harmed... Just a thought, hope it helps
WishfulNull (151 posts)
+2
4 years ago (2014-02-17)
Saymyname, you seem to be going through a very hard and confusing time in your life right now. There are people around you who are on your side, who love you and want you to be happy and healthy. Reach out to them, your parents, other family members, a trusted teacher or other adult trusted mentor. These voices in your head that abuse you... They are not leading you to a healthy or happy life. Ask yourself seriously, where do you think this is heading? Certainly nowhere good. Let your loved ones give you their support, and see the doctor, have a few evaluations, and be completely honest about what you are hearing & feeling. Even if it's just to ease your own mind in making sure nothing is wrong. You are stronger than you know when you have the support of others who truly care for you. Embrace the light, and may you find some inner peace. You don't have to be alone in finding a solution to this! Best wishes, ❤
Uvall_Knows_All (4 posts)
 
4 years ago (2014-02-16)
Hun, let me tell you that I have went through the same ordeal as you. I also used to self harm but I usually blacked out when it happened because I'd be partially possessed. I had a past with that though, coming from an abusive household, so nobody questioned it. I had a demon (I called him Tim since he never told me his name) and I isolated myself from my friends and became so entranced and fixated on him. Luckily I had a friend that put me in my place and convinced me he was no good. I had a lot of help from the astral side to help me get rid of him. Also, there is nothing wrong with you, you are sane. I questioned my sanity and for about a year I was on and off of medications, in and out of hospitals, but nothing helped the voices or "hallucinations". I understand what you are going through and I want to help in any possible way. ❤
Miracles51031 (36 stories) (4802 posts) mod
 
4 years ago (2014-02-13)
TinaR - we could debate all day over that, but having just looked at your profile and reading the other comments you have left, let's just say some of your comments could be taken as "not so nice".
TinaR (guest)
 
4 years ago (2014-02-13)
Normally it should, especially when the comment wasn't offensive at all.
Miracles51031 (36 stories) (4802 posts) mod
 
4 years ago (2014-02-13)
TinaR - an explanation doesn't have to be given when comments are deleted.
TinaR (guest)
 
4 years ago (2014-02-13)
Well I see my comment was deleted without any explanation but I come to the conclusion that you need professional help. You need to speak to your parents and try to do some tests. It might help you allot.

I worked in the domain and saw many cases like this. Not saying it really is what I.suspect but it looks like so and you should try to get help.
ghstwrld (1 stories) (22 posts)
 
4 years ago (2014-02-13)
I'm with RedWolf 100%.

I have friends who have panic attacks and they say it feels like someone is choking them so there's a possibility that is part of what's happening to you.

Please talk to someone about this!

RedWolf (28 stories) (1246 posts)
+2
4 years ago (2014-02-13)
saymyname
I have a question. While you were writing this were you ''attacked''?
Sweetie you seriously need to talk to your parents about ALL of what is goin on. First you need a full on medical exam, be HONEST with the doctors. My concern is there is something medically wrong with you that is giving you delusions and the ''attacks'' are psychosymatic. Meaning rather being choked you work yourself up and and it feels like someone is doing it to you.
I'm seriously worried about your health. Please please get checked out and let us know how you are doing.
Regards
RedWolf
BadJuuJuu (13 stories) (1034 posts)
+2
4 years ago (2014-02-12)
I also agree with AzraelX. Always rule out any non-paranormal cause before looking to the paranormal as a possibility.
Does your family know about your history of self-harm? If they do not, you should tell them about that as well as what's going on now. This situation is unhealthy, and you need help to stop this.
Family support is a good first step, or talk to a teacher, school nurse, a trusted adult. Professional support may be necessary as well, but first reach out to the adults in your life.
Griff84 (5 stories) (287 posts)
+2
4 years ago (2014-02-12)
Do these voices try and make you do things, or just converse with and 'attack' you?

I have absolutely no expertise in this area at all, so I will not offer any advice as I am not certain it could be of any help. I do hope however, you find a happy medium (not a jolly psychic) where you are in control all of the time.
Triskaideka (2 stories) (363 posts)
+2
4 years ago (2014-02-12)
My curiosity is killing me and I must ask, are their names actually letters, or are you abbreviating their names? If you are abbreviating their names, are you trying to *protect* them?

I do think it's possible that you have a physiological thing going on that causes you to hear thoughts in other voices (and that's the scientific perspective), but I also think it's possible you are being visited by evil beings.

Regardless, if this sort of thing goes unchecked, you will eventually be driven mad, even if you are currently perfectly sane.

Now, my approach may be different from many other people's. I've had friends who've suffered this sort of ailment before and they were treated like they were crazy. I don't think that helped in the slightest. I DO think that you should tell an adult and seek psychological care, HOWEVER, I think that first and foremost you should see a priest or priestess, pastor, or any spiritual leader you trust who can help guide you to cleanse yourself of these presences.

When people are alone, depressed, and desperate for love, they are vulnerable. And that's why I do think it's very feasible an evil entity (or two or three) latched onto you. DO NOT LET IT STAY. Your body is your own. Your mind is your own. And maybe you're lonely and you're entertaining the notion of befriending these beings. Stop.

Whatever these are, they are not your friends. You need to get rid of them, spiritually and/or medically.

I say this with love. When I was about your age, a "friend" of mine kind of like yours turned on me. It was traumatic, to say the least. I just don't ever want anyone to go through what I did.

Summon all your willpower and forbid their visitations. Your body belongs to you. Your mind belongs to you. Tell yourself and them that they are not welcome in your presence.

And please let us know how everything goes. ❤
ghstwrld (1 stories) (22 posts)
+1
4 years ago (2014-02-12)
I'm with AzraelX on this one, sounds like there could be a logical explanation for all of this.
AzraelX (7 stories) (112 posts)
+5
4 years ago (2014-02-12)
never meaning to be offensive, have you told your parents about what you feel is happening to you or have you had any consultation with a psychiatrist/psychoanalyst?
Not meaning that you are going bonkers. Perhaps you could have a psychological disorder which you are attributing to demons, perhaps.

Once again, (having family members who have complained of being possessed, but were found to be suffering from clinical psychological issues etc) I have never implied or intended that you are going bonkers (for want of a better term). Just that - try to eliminate all possible sources of your problem and identify the real cause.

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