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I Am A Half Believer

 

I come from China. The story that I am posting here is not my own but my father's. I believe it's true because it's my father.

I have to go back almost 16 years. My father was caught in a car accident when he was on a business trip. He was paralyzed and couldn't walk or take care of himself in many things. He had become really sick. It has been for a hard time for him and for our family. But the focus is not misery. My father became a Christian after he got injured. He had previously had doubt because in China, most people don't have religion. But my father was changed by a single paranormal experience. He told me that one night, whilst feeling unwell with an infection; he was feeling very bad and not sleeping well. He woke up and saw there are so many people in his room. When they saw that my father had seen them, they didn't say anything but all turned around and lined in a queue towards the window. My father was too afraid to keep his eyes open. But he was sure there were people in his room. He wasn't dreaming because later that night, he couldn't sleep anymore!

The story is simple but changed our mind. That's why my father became a Christian and I started to go to church. But I am still lingering. I haven't experienced anything like that (But I have been having bad dreams). I have to admit that I do not have enough faith. I have read a lot of stories in this site, and to be frank, I have doubt. Because writing a fictitious story on line is not too difficult. There's simply no evidence. So I am doubtful most of the time. I have friends at church and they have very strong faith. I hope I can too. But I have too many things on my mind, too much desire and anxiety. And sometimes I just feel too tired. The most important thing is that I don't know my purpose any more. I can see that life is short and I know I need to make it meaningful. But I just don't have a faith. I don't have a goal. And I am doubtful of everything, even myself.

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Comments about this paranormal experience

The following comments are submitted by users of this site and are not official positions by yourghoststories.com. Please read our guidelines and the previous posts before posting. The author, hurchu, has the following expectation about your feedback: I will read the comments and participate in the discussion.

mojacko15 (19 posts)
 
6 years ago (2011-09-21)
god works in mysterious ways... But I proud of you... 😊 finally you found what youre looking for. God bless,peace...
hurchu (1 stories) (2 posts)
 
7 years ago (2011-06-04)
It's amazing that I returned two years later to see my old post.

I now I believe in Jesus and to depend my eternal destination only on Him.

Looking through my old post and old comments, I am just surprised to see my own thoughts back then.

I was confused and blinded...
For example, when I read those words two years back, it didn't make sense to me at all. And I just forgot about it. But now, when re-reading it, I suddenly realized that the LORD has opened my eyes, with His Holy Spirit bearing witness.

Pudge23 "All you need to do is put all your emotions and doubt in gods hands. Pray on your faith. My grandma and mom both have told me to figure out your own salvation with fear and trembeling. "

Jitou"We know as fact, that there are really only 2 choices, you choose Jesus or you reject Him. Someone is bound to say that this sound exclusive, nothing could be furtjer from the truth, He died and bore your pain, hurt, disappointment and shame so that you would not have to."

I have two more stories to share, both are before I was saved.

The first one is in the summer of 2009, perhaps just a month before I posted this thread. I touring in the Crater lake in Oregon, with a bunch of my friends. We were sharing a suite south of crater lake. It's kind of isolated hotel on the highway. I was sleeping on the floor with my sleep bag since we don't have enough beds. That night, I cannot say it's a nightmare, because it's so brief, like something within my heart just exploded with extreme hatred. And I woke up. The feeling was weird, I thought something gotten into me. I got up when others are sleeping, and went outside for a good chill. I wasn't afraid, but felt good. Now when I look back to it, I suspect that it could really be the case that the Devil wants to trap me back in his ruling. Since, after that, I did terrible things and justified it without much trouble.

Of course, for those things I did, I am the one to blame. But I am also assured that Jesus died and resurrected. And He saved me from this mess and from hell fire.

In 2010 September, experience is also in dream. But it is so clear and sharp, I don't really know. That was the end of a very long and tiring journey. Lying on my bed, I first had some nightmares involving demons etc. And I prayed on my bed (at that time, I would pray without knowing who Jesus is). But I was so tired, I guess I soon fell into a dream. In that dream, I was falling into a black swirl, I don't why the swirl would scare me that much, because I don't feel anything of it. It was all black and all that I am surrounded is black. But I was terrified and I cried out to God above "Help! Help!" And immediately an intense light shone directly on my forehead, and I actually felt it shone through my forehead. I remember that light was bright and intense and somehow I was terrified by it. When it touched my forehead and though it, I woke up terrified and found there was a big chilling on my forehead still. And for the next three days, the chilling stayed there when I lingered on what had happened.

That was not when I was saved. But that got me really serious. And from that time on, I started really searching and praying. He has been faithful in spite of what I am, leading me to learn a lot about Him. Now I come to know that not to put my trust on anything, even including spiritual sensual experiences, but on Jesus alone. He's not finished with me yet.
hurchu (1 stories) (2 posts)
 
8 years ago (2009-08-31)
Thank you all very much for the advice and encouragement. I have read them all very carefully. Even though I haven't come to a solution yet, I have much more courage now. I am really serious in my faith, and that's why I linger. I wish that everyone have a fulfilled and happy life, and also have strong courage when facing problems.
ABC_daisy (5 posts)
 
8 years ago (2009-08-31)
in your story you talk about your father turning christian, maybe the people in his room were religeous ancestors, trying to support him on his spirital journey
Dio (1 stories) (7 posts)
 
8 years ago (2009-08-30)
I meant my previous post for Hurchu, though I addressed it to Tonith. Oops!:)
Dio (1 stories) (7 posts)
 
8 years ago (2009-08-30)
Tonith, it sounds like your father, being as ill as he was, may have had a few loving ancestors come in just to check on him. Doesn't sound like anything sinister to me at all.

Finding your truth is scary and lonely and confusing sometimes. But know that it is only one step closer to finding your true faith. Even if that means you continue your life without any particular religion at all. Life is about being honest and truthful and sincere, and living it and experiencing it for all the beauty and pain and lessons it has to offer. There are no step-by-step instructions for life, though many religions try to write them.

It is okay to question faith. It is also okay to doubt. You, and only you know how to believe, and what beliefs best match who you are as an individual. I don't think there is a single religion out there for everybody. You already seem to have a good grasp on that concept.

Blessings to you on your search for your truth.:)
Tonith (1136 posts)
 
8 years ago (2009-08-29)
If being raised in a religion would give us faith most of us would have it. I know people who are religious but still worry and fret as if they had no faith. Not sure religion can do this but I do believe God can. With a genuine heart when one seeks God one will find God. Not sure it has to do with anything religious but with the power of love and forgiveness. For me the best example of this is our Lord Jesus despite any formal doctrine of any religion. To me Christ is inclusive or else He would be a lot like us, God forbid. We already know how to be divided by religion and beliefs instead of using love, compassion and forgiveness which to me symbolizes the Christ Consciousness in all of us.
Nady911 (guest)
 
8 years ago (2009-08-27)
I became Muslim after finding some inconsistencies in Christianity and Catholicism. I wish you the best of luck and if you ever think about researching religions, don't forget to try Islam because you'll be surprised. Try submission.org and Google how religion meets science in Islam; something that Christianity doesn't do much (not to attack the religion)
Zekranva (6 posts)
 
8 years ago (2009-08-26)
if I were in the problem you are having, I would carry on my day. You don't need to be Christian, or Catholic (im sorry if I spelled it wrong, I never could remember how to spell it) to have faith in God. All what Faith is meaning is trust, here I'm Pagan and I got good faith in God and Goddess. But just remember when you move out on your own you have the choice to do what you want without your Parents telling you what to do and that includes religion. If you choose to be christian that is fine, if you choose to be Buddisht that is fine, if you choose to be Pagan that is fine, if you choose to not be in a religion that is fine. All what you need to do is make the best of your life as you move on.
Pudge23 (1 stories) (8 posts)
 
8 years ago (2009-08-25)
All you need to do is put all your emotions and doubt in gods hands. Pray on your faith. My grandma and mom both have told me to figure out your own salvation with fear and trembeling. This means (to me) put everything in gods hands and he will take care of you. God will never put more on your shoulders than you can bear. I wish you the best of luck. I will pray for you. God bless ❤
JamesRobiscoe (419 posts)
 
8 years ago (2009-08-24)
hurchu--Thank you for sharing your father's experience and your story. I hope your father is in improved health and mobility. It appears that he was given a persuasive encounter with the other world to convince him of its existence--a major concept in the Christian belief system.
If it's logical persuasion that does it, nothing beats St. Anselm's arguments and the medieval scholastics like St. Thomas Aquinas. John Duns Scotus built on Anselm's syllogisms and showed that logically, since the actuality of God is not Impossible, it must be Necessary.
Faith, however, is a slightly different matter. Just as we can believe in ghosts, though we may not personally experience them, when people we trust say they are so, we can trust reports of God from others we trust. (I believe Paris, France exists, though I've never been there.) Faith is not certainty, but it can lead to experience that builds a certainty.
If your intention is to follow the path of Truth, it must be rigorous (sometimes rough, sometimes gentle), and you will find what you seek. It's a manner of journeying, not a thing you find at the end that is the illumination.
Again, thank you for your story. ~James
Jitow (355 posts)
 
8 years ago (2009-08-24)
Life is short my friend and eternity is forever. Your Dad, friends and myself, we have a strong faith because our eternity is secured and once you have given your life to Christ you will be assured as well. We spend our lives trying to be more Christ-like in preperation for our eternity. We know as fact, that there are really only 2 choices, you choose Jesus or you reject Him. Someone is bound to say that this sound exclusive, nothing could be furtjer from the truth, He died and bore your pain, hurt, disappointment and shame so that you would not have to. You can leave all of that at the foot of the cross and then you can truly live a free life. God is love, love conquers all, choose God.
kuromi2012 (guest)
 
8 years ago (2009-08-24)
in the bible it says god doesn't like it when people are not fully believing in him that's how I made my decison to either fully believe with your whole heart and soul or nothing at all and to be honest I've always had the empty void in my heart that I've tried to fill but could never until one day I just realized that having gods love is what gives me the fullfillment in my heart his love is like no other you don't have to be perfect or even close all you have to do is ask god to fill your heart with the love he has for you and accept him into your life and then you will know. Sorry for making this long but maybe you aren't happy and your looking for it somehere maybe not well I hope you find yourself and live a happy fullfilled life and as for your dads experience I believe him I've had some paranormal experiences and it just takes an experience to believe its real. Best of luck to you!:)
book_luver123 (227 posts)
 
8 years ago (2009-08-24)
Well I am a half believer too. It helps open your mind so you can see other people's beliefs. 😊 Its nice to know there is someone like me. ❤

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