First a little background on my wife's family: My wife moved from Korea to Hawaii with her dad and sister about 5 years ago, soon after her mom died of cancer (she was in her 40's/50's). It wasn't a peaceful death - the mom seemed to have lots of regrets concerning her daughters. Her parents loved each other but both had affairs during their time together (including around the time of death), and the daughters (my wife and her sister) were considered the most important and always taken care of the best. There are some other issues that within the family, like depression, anger, alcohol problems, etc. That mainly occurred afterwards and have seemed fixed themselves after a few years, but I don't think they matter in this case.
Since her mom died my wife has seen ghosts, had strange dreams, and flickering/powering off of electronics in her home. Including one time she was lifted in her sleep and felt a warm feeling all over her body shortly after a suicide attempt, which she quit mid-way because she thought of her sister.
Anyway. This is what happened to us a few days ago.
We've been married about 7 months, and during that time we've had some fights - some severe and some not. Things have mostly settled down and we are beginning to really enjoy married life now, but one day she started calmly telling me something that she felt hurt about (with no reason, it just popped into her head).
After listening to her concerns for about an hour, she slowly started to get more and more aggravated while I remained calm until finally her voice changed slightly and she started yelling at me saying that she was her mom, and that I better treat her daughter right, or she's going to do something (I didn't quit understand what because her voice was ridiculous). Anyway, suddenly my wife stopped and asked if she just did something crazy, then just started crying uncontrollably.
From that point on, for the next 5-10 minutes or so, my wife kept seeing shadowy figures in the room (not humanoid). These included some stringy things dangling from the ceiling, a face staring at her from right behind me (like right over my shoulder) and a strange hand next to her face (on the right of her).
I was surprised to hear that this isn't the first case my wife has had with something like this (her mom supposedly possessing her body and communicating). She also said on her sister's birthday she was looking at a clock and suddenly lost her memory. According to her sister, she suddenly hugged her (they're sisters, but usually don't hug - so she was startled) and started saying their mom was so proud of her, then she came back to her normal self again. She doesn't remember what happened during that period of time though.
She also has had many occasions where her mom appears in her dream, but cannot talk.
Is this really my wife's mom possessing my wife? I'm worried that her mom or whatever it is will interfere with our relationship. Obviously the way a mom feels about her daughter's relationship with her son-in-law and how my wife feels about our relationship will be different. The mom is obviously also going to be very protective and/or overprotective.
What do you guys think the cause of this is? Is it my wife's mother's ghost that possessed her for a moment? What should I do? I'm not totally familiar with Korean traditional ancestor worship, but is there some sort of way I should be honoring her mother?
I just don't know what's going on at the moment, but for now, we've started going to church regularly, praying together, and trying to work through these times.