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Grandpa's Funeral Spirit


This is my first time to actually write this out however I have told what happened at my Grandpa's funeral to other family members. It's not spectacular or even scary, but it is genuine.

My paternal Grandpa died when I was 14 years old after a 2 year battle with cancer. When he finally passed there was a large part of me that was thankful he was no longer in such excruciating pain but I was devastated nonetheless. My Grandpa had remarried when I was around 10 or 11 years old and I really wasn't that keen on his new wife as she would not let me call her Grandma. Even then I knew instinctively she really didn't care for my Grandpa's adult children and, of course, grandchildren. I tell you this so you will understand what happens at the funeral.

My family (Mom, Dad and younger brother) and I drove the 3 hours to the funeral home where my Grandpa's widow said his service would be at. When we got there, we discovered that there wasn't a proper service just a viewing. We were in shock! My Grandpa was a rancher and my family has lived on that land since Texas was a Spanish colony. Grandpa had lots of friends and had known the neighbors (closest one was 2.5 miles away) his whole life. It didn't make sense for there not to be a service. How can you not have an Eulogy? Wake? Something?

The helpful employee instead showed us a room, which was actually quite nice, where we could view the body. We follow him and as we enter we expected to see Grandpa's widow. Nope! Not a soul there. Not even flowers, except the ones we brought. It was heartbreaking to see my beloved Grandpa so abandoned on his big sendoff to the other side.

Well, we decided to have our own service. My father led the service. We started off by taking turns standing at the casket and putting in our mementos we had brought, saying a prayer and reading a verse from the Bible. Then my father talked about all the things he loved about his father. The things he wished he had more time to do with his father. The things he regretted with his father. While my father was speaking the floor lamp near the head of the coffin started flickering. We didn't pay much mind to it, figured the bulb was about to go out or something. Besides, there were overhead lights in the room. Next was my mother's turn and again while she was talking about all the things she remembered and loved the most about Grandpa the floor lamp flickered. We all stopped and turned to look at it then to look at one another like, "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

My turn was next. It was really hard for me to even speak. My Grandpa and I were two peas in a pod. We adored one another. When I was finally able to speak, I told of the time my Grandfather stopped everything and came and got me from a friend's house at the drop of a hat. (Background: we moved from Houston to Dallas in Feb. 1986. During summer break I went to visit with my best friend in Houston for 2 weeks, but after 1 week I was ready to go home, homesick...) My parents couldn't take off to do it and they just said to have fun and we'll be there next weekend. Well, I was so homesick I called Grandpa and he came from Bryan to Houston to get me then back to Dallas to take me home, all in one day.) During my story that lamp went nuts. To the point my mother got up and tried to turn the lamp off. I tell you, that lamp was not having it. It would not turn off but since it had stopped flickering, Mom quit fiddling with it.

My brother was next and again the lamp starts flickering. At this point my Dad says I think that's Grandpa and he's trying to let us know how much he's loving hearing all the wonderful things we were saying about him. We all agreed.

So we conclude that part of very special service we were doing for him and thought perhaps we should hang out there until his wife got there. She never showed and after an hour more, we left. The lamp did not flicker one time while we were making small talk waiting for Grandpa's widow.

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The following comments are submitted by users of this site and are not official positions by Please read our guidelines and the previous posts before posting. The author, Acacia, has the following expectation about your feedback: I will read the comments and participate in the discussion.

elnoraemily (11 stories) (1051 posts)
8 years ago (2014-07-14)
This is a very sweet story.

Thank you very much for sharing. These sort of memories are heartwarming.
Acacia (1 stories) (4 posts)
9 years ago (2013-10-26)
So sorry have taken so long to reply! Been busy this past week!

[at] ParaTam - so glad you enjoyed it! I think it was perfect just the way it was!

A few months after this happened, we were called in just before his will was going to probate. Long story short, my father was cut out of the will but my brother and I weren't. I could tell my Dad was hurt and the whole business just felt really vulgar to me. My Grandpa's wife ended up getting everything and the land is no longer in our family but, I don't care because, for me atleast, it's wouldn't really be the same after everything that happened and Grandpa not being around!

I was just glad that he knew we loved him, had such wonderful memories and would miss him!

Thanks again everybody for the supportive posts!

Kind regards,
sds (14 stories) (1434 posts)
9 years ago (2013-10-20)
Dear Acacia, what a lovely story you have shared with us. I have always said in this forum and outside that true love and affection go beyond the realm of life and death. You, your brother, mom and dad showed your affection and love to your grandpa and he acknowledged it by the flickering of the lamp. Really a moving account and I don't want to say anything about his wife because that is not necessary because what is more important and special was that you guys have experienced a wonderful show of love and affection from your grandpa.

Regards and respects to you.

valkricry (47 stories) (3190 posts) mod
9 years ago (2013-10-19)
Acacia...*sigh* It does seem rather odd that no one else was informed of the viewing. Here, the funeral home places a notice in the paper along with the obit. Maybe the widow refused it, maybe an over sight, I don't know, but it really isn't important. I even wonder if maybe you had been given the wrong time or something, but then I think the director would have mentioned that. Obviously though, Grandpa knew you were there and appreciated it. A very sweet account.
iez (4 stories) (14 posts)
9 years ago (2013-10-19)
What a lovely story. Thanks for sharing. While reading it the sun came peeping through the clouds so I feel very warm.
babygoatpuller (4 stories) (432 posts)
9 years ago (2013-10-16)
Acacia- What a truly heartwarming story. You can believe it was your grandpa letting you know he was paying attention and enjoying his send off. I agree with ParaTam, if the "lemon" had been there it probably just wouldn't have been as comforting to you all. And he did get the proper send off with what his "real" family did for him! 😁
Raftingirl (2 stories) (113 posts)
9 years ago (2013-10-16)

This is a beautiful story. I've had a similar incidence, and I can tell you, that he probably did very much appreciate all your love and stories from the past.

It might not be so obvious why his new wife didn't show - could be anything, just a gold digger or maybe she really, really was grieving. You never know.

Glad you did what you could for your Grandpa. I'd have done the same thing. It's nice to know he appreciated it (big smiles)
ParaTam (3 stories) (80 posts)
9 years ago (2013-10-16)
Acacia -
First, I'd like to tell you I'm sorry for the passing of your Gpa. He sounds like a remarkable person, and I can tell you will always hold a piece of your heart for him.

I also wanted to tell you that I read your telling of your family funeral with a smile. I can tell THAT is exactly what Gpa needed. It was perfect the way it was - Gpa was loving it, and his 2nd wife wasn't there to spoil it. She might have disrespected your Gpa by not showing up at the funeral home. But, if you really think about it, your family funeral would not have been the same with the telling of treasured memories if she had been there.

Many Blessings to you and your family!
Narella (guest)
9 years ago (2013-10-16)
This is such a lovely story. I'm glad you and your family had a chance to say good-bye the right way. It's wonderful your grandfather found a way to let you know he appreciated all of you.
Acacia (1 stories) (4 posts)
9 years ago (2013-10-16)
Thank you everybody for the wonderful posts! I wasn't sure anybody would like it but, you guys have really made me feel comfortable sharing my experience with what I am absolutely convinced was my Grandpa's ghost or spirit.

I too, Miracles51031, regret that my Grandpa's wife wasn't involved in his big day but, in hindsight, I think our service was what he needed to cross over to the other side!

NorthCoastie, I agree. There absolutely is a spiritual realm that I believe exists right next to our physical one!

Again, y'all made my day! 😁

Kind regards,
Vonboeckmann (guest)
9 years ago (2013-10-16)
Acacia...simply a beautiful story. Your grandpa will always be with you. ❤ J
NorthCoastie (4 stories) (72 posts)
9 years ago (2013-10-16)
Wonderful story! It is moments like this that give me faith that our loved ones who have passed on are still with us, and that there is more to life than the world which we can see!
lady-glow (13 stories) (2924 posts)
9 years ago (2013-10-15)
It seems to me like your Grandpa was telling you that he, too, remembered the things you guys were talking about.

That second wife sure sounds like a lemon! 😠

Thanks for sharing your experience with us.
Grandmas_Boy (6 posts)
9 years ago (2013-10-15)
I bet HE was really happy. My apologies for saying it. I didn't mean to put that. 😐
Grandmas_Boy (6 posts)
9 years ago (2013-10-15)
Acacia - Wow. This is a truly heart warming story. And for the widow to not show, that's just wrong. But I bet it was really happy you and your family cam 😊
Miracles51031 (39 stories) (4998 posts) mod
9 years ago (2013-10-15)
Acacia - this is absolutely a wonderful story 😊 I honestly hate the fact that your grandpa didn't get the send off that he should have had, but I think he was happy that you and your family showed your love and affection for him and had your own funeral in spite of his widow's wishes.

Thank you for sharing this with us. ❤

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