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Family Light


Dead is dead and you can only improve on it!

Well that's the motto in this business and it has been improved on professionally myself for the past 37 years.

Last year it was personal about as personal as it can get. Being the last 2 remaining of generation 7 you would think that one would get used to death, especially in a business where black humor is used to get through those days when one looses all faith in humanity. Just when you think you have seen it all. Out of left wing.

This time last year stress was a day to day event. The black mist had taken a different tack this time. Physical was its strategy. Like an old machine my body was breaking down at the age of 50 something.

After turning in the shower to get the shampoo I was suddenly in excruciating pain and paralyzed down the left side of my body. Home alone I then dragged myself down the hall into the study for the phone. Thank goodness for clean floors. Again with all the technology, no one was answering the phone. Guess it was vibrating in the Ute alone as usual. So emergency service embarrassment it was. This being the second ambulance to the property within 3 months.

Then vital spinal surgery x2 May & June last year. Successful. Praise God in Heaven, or so I thought. Walking again after the second surgery but still in hospital a new kind of hell broke loose on the 23 June 2014 at 0900hrs. Again with the bathroom! I wonder if death is going to get me in the bathroom. OMGracious.

The day started with a storm over our fair city like no other. A storm that was the worst in recorded history. Torrential rain wind 200kph lightening from the ancient Gods and destruction. No warning. I was in one of the oldest buildings in the city purpose built as a hospital.

I collapsed and on the way down I pressed the emergency button. You know the big red button on the wall marked emergency. Within seconds the tiny bathroom was filled with staff. That was a surprise. I remember being dragged to the bed. The surgeon must have been doing his rounds. I saw his face. Lights on/nobody home.

I regained consciousness in CCU, critical care. Surrounded by consultants and nursing staff. I remember the Medical officer apologizing for not being able to find a vein to cut down and insert a central line in my neck. Water was coming through the ceiling onto another monitor across the room. The city was in lockdown. Backup power was utilized. All I could hear was sirens down in the streets from the 2nd floor. I looked up to the monitor my BP was 30/20. Lights on /no- one home. Lights off/no- response.

Grandma H was standing at the end of my bed on the left side. She had her beautiful soft face, silken white hair. Dressed in a black cocktail length dress with matching coat. Her black handbag was over her arm and she was holding a white handkerchief near her face. Her shoes were also black. She had died when I was 3 months of age.

On her right side was Grandfather W, her father. He was in a dark pin stripped suit with a white high stud color shirt. He had a beard and was standing there with a gentle concerned face.

I said/thought/communicated "I know who you are your photo is on my dining room wall'. Everyone's photo for the past 3 generations is in our dining room. Rouges gallery as my late father named it.

With the same peace that she had arrived grandma H had gone. Mum, our dear L was now standing on the right side of grandfather W. She was wearing the clothes I had buried her in just nearly 9 years July 4. The sapphire silk purchased for her grand daughter's wedding the week prior to her sudden death.

Mum moved up towards my right shoulder. Grandfather W remained standing at the foot of the bed. Mum said "come home with me dear". She looked into my face and held out her arms ever so gentle. I noticed she had her rings on but that was impossible as we only cremated her with her wedding band and her remaining rings were at the farm in the fire safe. My response was I had too many things to do yet and she needed some peace. We often joked about getting peace after death.

If I knew what I was to go through this past 12 months then as I do now I would have gone home with mum. My body remained in the bed and I was aware of the commotion around me, but I couldn't feel anything.

I always thought my father's family would be the resilient ones that would stand the test of all time and creation. They tended to leave a 'presence' on the family history side. However it is proving to be mum's side of the family that was there when no living family could be.

Then the next stage of this fresh hell evolved. This was nothing I had experienced before and never wish to again. I was fighting, panic set in fighting for every breath for my mum for life for this to be a nightmare to end as the storm raged moving the building. Physically I was unable to move. Thinking, doing the inventory. God help me God are you on holiday or what? G & E where are you? Thinking everyone was around my bed. Peripheral line, arterial line, central line to name a few O2 BP ETT. The rain the wind, the pain. Vomit black sludge old blood. Panic. This was no patient this was ME. God in merciful heaven my chest hurt. Like a weight was on me. Then the penny dropped. Every successful resuscitation leaves broken ribs. Another vomit, mum come back. More lines going in. I vomited for 3 days and won't mention the rest because I am pretending it did not happen to me.

I was in CCU for 7 days then remained in hospital for 2 weeks. Toxicology due to complications with anesthesia caused Septicemia of the liver. The panic couldn't be quelled. I was hysterical and in great distress.

I still feel my dear mum and grandma around. Their images were as clear as crystal.

My brother couldn't come home at the time. He flew in the following Christmas. I was still very frail. I discussed seeing the family. I wanted his opinion not only as my big brother but as a trained minister in the Christian faith. He left the ministry and is now an engineer.

His response was, Sis mum's love for her mum was special real, pure, honest. As is our love for mum. The mind is a miracle a most powerful thing producing endorphins and adrenaline to provide the body with whatever it needs to get through a crisis. He believes they were there. Are there for comfort, love protect and renew life. He told me he often sees our Dad out in the desert. My brother works in the Pilbara dessert in Australia's most extreme conditions. He has his own company and takes a very active role. I also feel that there is more to the process of death and afterlife after being witness to many unexplainable events and now this. I have witnessed many unexplainable things throughout the past 30 odd years. Little things especially in palliative care. Has anybody else had an experience like I had in CCU?

I have resigned my contract, retaining my commission to take time for my health. I can walk. I have care; changes have been made to promote a quality of life. This past 12 months I have been working on an interesting project.~LIFE.

My brother also said 'sis it's not death you have to be afraid of it's the way we die.


I was DEAD nearly 5 minutes...DEAD...and the crew improved on it


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Comments about this paranormal experience

The following comments are submitted by users of this site and are not official positions by Please read our guidelines and the previous posts before posting. The author, Vonboeckmann, has the following expectation about your feedback: I will participate in the discussion and I need help with what I have experienced.

Vonboeckmann (guest)
5 years ago (2015-07-10)
Oh Fergie,
Its lovely to be back. It can't be said this little life of mine is boring. It was fate I was in the position due to a toxicology error. No doubt about it.

The pain is now under control however there is nerve damage and the word today from the office was pace yourself. Ha do you think they know me?

To see mum again was the most graceful gift in all creation. I have had moments this last 12 months when I have wished her back and to go home. I have been critically ill and it's a ardours fight back.
Still I am better than some.

It was difficult to post this event I must say, this was done in the hope to give insight to others.

Again thankyou for your response. Cheers J
Vonboeckmann (guest)
5 years ago (2015-07-10)
All That Jazz
First, may I give you a warm welcome to YGS. You are correct in saying "the veil is thin. Life can change is minutes but I now know life can become extinct in the flutter of a eyelash. If you are whom I think you are I am so... Dam glad you joined the party and missed your plane to Sydney town! Only the best, but I should have been on the standing side. Sorry old gal my tour is over time to diversify.
The world is alive I see things crisp clear and with beauty. With the pain came panic. That still lingers. Thankyou for your most kind insightful words. What an adventure we had.
❤ ❤ ❤
Vonboeckmann (guest)
5 years ago (2015-07-10)
Thankyou Hecate0, The resource you have provided will be of great interest, especially as we are preparing for a week of "the great chill" and forecast snow up the mountain.
In between hospital visits I have read a little on the net relating to the NDE. It was good of you to provide the direction needed. At this stage I am kind of the opinion it is a combination of the two-secreted endorphins and the visitation of family. To have such clarity and purpose of past family the mind has to be in a "state of high arousal" for want of a better phrase, to be receptive of receiving family. That the physical is not the complete answer. I realize this is a confronting subject for some and I appreciate your response. Kindest regards J
Fergie (40 stories) (1159 posts)
5 years ago (2015-07-09)
Dear Vonboekmann,

I am so sorry to hear of all the trauma you went through. One good thing came out of it all - you got to see passed family members, and have confirmation of life after death. I must admit, you chose a pretty dramatic, painful way to go about it. 😉

I hope only the pleasant memories of seeing mum and grandparents will linger, and the painful ones will soon dissipate. Yes, life is for the living - live it to the fullest for as long as you can.
I hope you go from strength to strength and live, pain free, to see all your dreams realized.

Thank you so much for posting this thought provoking account.
I wish you only good health and happiness. ❤

PS: I wondered why you were off the 'radar' for so long. Now I know - making medical staff worry, eh?
Hecate0 (4 stories) (418 posts)
5 years ago (2015-07-09)
Vonboeckmann, thank you for sharing your experience. I also believe your family was with you at your time of crisis. If you google, "near death experience", you will get a huge amount of information. I have read several books related to this topic, one notable by Raymond Moody called, "Life After Life". You are not alone. And there are cross cultural studies of this. Many will argue your experience is solely related to the endorphins secreted during such trauma. I tend to disagree. (also view the TED talk by Jill Bolte Taylor called, "A Stroke of Insight")

It sounds like you are finding peace, though. Thanks for posting. Best to you.
Hecate ❤
AllThatJazz (2 posts)
5 years ago (2015-07-09)
I have read your story with great interest. To have family interact with you at that point must have given you great insight and comfort. From research I believe they were real. There is no hell as we know it but a hell as we make it here. With death there is peace and a feeling of forgiveness of those events in our lives we have found so complicated. Everything is really of no consequence. The veil dividing essence of life and death is fine. There are no ills of humanity No memory of previous life. A state of divine peace.
You were given a choice to go with your beloved mother yet you chose as most to return to a beautiful world to complete whatever you have to do. Vonboeckmann you have given your life to others, you were born to. Now is the time to live your life for yourself. You fought for life, (gosh you gave us a run- not one of ours on my watch.) the life your parents gave you out of love. There is a God a higher entity. Your family are with you still as your guardians. They came to you out of love. It would have taken incredible energy for them to do so. I believe you communicated with your mind. This can be confronting for outsiders and other family members. You are light and protected light. You were given a gift. This living world is for learning and there are many spirits and forces. I believe your MOTHER was WITH YOU. Her rings-they will always be hers you are just taking care of them for her dear. Thank you for the courage to document the experience for others to share especially at this time.

❤ ❤

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