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Disturbances Since Childhood


I guess to understand this; you need a little bit of background information. I am a 20 year old Christian, married woman. I am married to a Muslim man and am completely happy and healthy but for a few minor things in my life.

My mother has had several paranormal experiences, as have I, my grandmother is a sensitive and so is my husband, though he is Muslim and has different takes on the paranormal than I do which tend to lean towards Jinns and creatures like that... I just feel that I get it in more intense doses than those around me who know about it.

When my mom was 16 she became a Satanist and dabbled in dark magic. When she had me at 30 years old, she renounced her ways and became Christian as well, but we both feel that her actions may have opened me up from a young age to the world of the supernatural.

She told me that as a young child I would sit in a dark hallway (we didn't have electricity at the time) and babble in my baby talk to someone much taller than me, very tall... We were living in Missoula Montana at the time... She said that I would cry sometimes or scream; others I would just laugh and coo.

My earliest experience I can remember at 5 is more like a half dream, half memory. I used to get freaked out about having to go past the dark pantry room to get to my bedroom or the bathroom; we lived in a trailer at the time. I would dart past the room as fast as possible, it felt wrong to me. Upon running past it one day, I distinctly remember not running past it, but being drawn into it, and that I was somehow sitting inside that room, but not on the floor, sort of suspended. Some big thing was holding me like a baby, I can't remember correctly but whatever it was it was scaring me.

Mom heard me crying and came in, turning on the light, where I fell down from the middle of the air, with a gash on my cheek. I to this day have a long, thin scar on my cheek exactly where the doctors had to stitch me up. Whether it was from the fall or from the entity I may never know. Strangely there had not been any bruising around the wound site, just like a knife had slashed my flesh rather than a quick bashing from the floor.

But the pantry was very empty, nothing on the floor for me to cut myself on and mom later admitted to seeing me fall from the middle of the air, not anywhere near a shelf or leaping from a counter. After further investigation and prying into my mother's past, I found that the house we lived in had been the same house she had started to worship the Devil in at a young age, in her childhood home and having nowhere to go, she moved back in as her father had given it to her to rent.

But those weren't the only things to happen in that house, and the Shadow man, as I call him even though I remember him being more substance than shadow and starkly white as well as impossibly tall even for a male, he sometimes visits me in my dreams even to this day, and then at other times he disappears, only to reappear when I am stressed. I like to look at things scientifically at first before succumbing to my baser fear of the unknown. I like to think that he only manifests when my defenses are weak or when I have immense stress or anger around me and my life. I do not ask Jesus to defend me, but God because my belief system is slightly different than the average Christian in that I ask God's help rather than Jesus and that won't change. I am dealing with being attracted to Islam and considering conversion but also dealing with 20 years of church going and baptisms. I am in-between right now.

Because of these things, and many others which I hope to submit slowly in my time here as a member, I have learned a few things about myself and the sensitivities my mind has. I have this thing where I can walk into a house and feel either comfortable, or uncomfortable in it, to tell whether I am safe there or not. It isn't as if I like it or not, but more like if the house has a dark cast to it, both physically and...err, what's the word, almost spiritually even though homes don't have a spirit. I have tested this theory several times. My parents take me with them whenever they move to a new house because my feelings have never been wrong.

Once when I was 15 my mom and dad wanted to move into a really beautiful country house, all white and pristine, very old too, we loved it. We asked about its history and it seemed clean enough as the owner didn't hesitate in stating it was fine, but when we first set tennis-shoed feet in there I balked like a donkey.

Something about the stairs reminded me of dreams from my childhood, upon where I would be chased about the house, and murdered up in the bedroom that was mine. I didn't say anything though, not wanting to pass up such a great deal but when I saw the room at the top floor that mom and dad wanted me to have, it was so identical to my dream, I demanded we leave then and there. Rushing down the stairs I tripped down them, breaking my ankle. I forced myself to believe I tripped out of my hurry to get out of there I still don't like to try and remember how I fell, it's better to assume the natural than the unnatural.

After doing my own research in newspapers and on the internet I found out that a little girl had been molested and then murdered by her step-dad, smothered to death exactly where in my dream I was killed in, the bedroom. I don't know why I had those dreams, but I guess something was warning me to not move there or something bad would happen. Thank God we didn't move there.

Two weeks later, a different family moved in after we viewed it. Their daughter, a friend and classmate of mine, complained of terrible scratching and squeaking sounds in her bedroom, yes, the one I was supposed to have. Her dad was acting weird and complaining about someone pulling the covers off his bed, slamming doors, and the sound of footsteps around the bed. Jessica and her family moved after a year without incident but something in me told me not to go there, maybe it was okay for her and her family but I feel that if I was warned about it at the tender age of 7 or so when the dreams started, that I should heed the warning and not move there.

I hope to post more as it is nice to finally be around people that understand. My mother wishes to not speak on her past to help me deal with what I am going through right now and my husband believes it is better to not speak of it or else the talking will manifest itself into something, which I sort of believe. But it would be really great to understand and have some support.

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The following comments are submitted by users of this site and are not official positions by Please read our guidelines and the previous posts before posting. The author, Rhiannon, has the following expectation about your feedback: I will read the comments and participate in the discussion.

Coyote42Dances (2 stories) (12 posts)
11 years ago (2011-01-03)
I do agree with your husband, sometimes talking out-loud about these things can cause new occurances to happen. This has happened to me! But I know it is hard NOT to talk about what is happening. I too tend to confront things from a scientific approach. I won't let my self believe anything I have experienced is supernatural, until I have discounted every other possible reason. However I have come to realize that some things can not be explained away. I have started keeping a diary of things that have happened in my apartment. If I find another possible explanation, I write that in the diary as well. It helps to get it all out, even if you are the only one who will ever read the diary.
Jitow (362 posts)
12 years ago (2009-07-28)
Based on your comments to me, it appears that you beieve exactly what they want you to beieve. A little bit of this religion a little bit of that one. You seem to be spritually confused and that is how they want you to remain, until it is too late. That has been Satan's plan long before some religions were even dreamed up.
Nady911 (guest)
12 years ago (2009-07-21)
Hey Rhiannon, I'm Muslim and I think you should ask your husband to try an Islamic excorsicim. I've seen some in video and they aren't scary like some of the Christian ones I've seen before. I hope you're fine and I hope you do become a Muslim. Good luck!:D
JamesRobiscoe (419 posts)
12 years ago (2009-07-02)
Rhiannon--You appear to be a very sensitive and thoughtful woman. I find so often the two go hand-in-hand. Which often lead us generally dopier men into the greater beauties and qualities of life that are to see the spiritual aspects of the material world, with values winning over costs. It strikes me, too, that the wedding or melding or your and your husband's two spiritual traditions may be another of those gifts you each have been given.

The agent or cause of the levitation you experienced as a child may or may not have been related to your more recent incidents, although it does indicate to me your ability to trust and surrender, two qualities very necessary to learn about the magnitude of life, both this dimension and further.
All of us grew up "under the influence" of others. Now you are grown (and growing), you are your own person and make your own decisions, even if they are contrary to any you were taught. I know it's easier said than done, but we tend to do what we say.

God has many cultural names, but God is always on our side when we want what is good and right and just. The only things that gets in our way is fear, and fear takes many forms beyond terror, such as hate and greed and violence. You know all this. It applies to the seen and the unseen. Those who love you will listen to you with an open mind and an open dialogue. Those who choose not to, well, understanding in each of us takes its own pace. I am certain you will use your gifts with compassion. Call upon peace and peace is given. ~ James
Rhiannon (2 stories) (6 posts)
12 years ago (2009-07-02)
Jitow----while I thank you for your support I do not recall ever having stated that I was giving up on Jesus and God, Muslims believe in God and in Jesus just as we do except for the fact of Jesus being the son of God. I turn to God first because he is the all powerful, there is no God but one God and that is the same one that Muslims, Christians, and Jews worship alike. I believe Jesus was more a prophet like Mohammed and all others before them, and I don't pray to prophets.

I do thank you however for helping me clear up that this may not be a curse but a blessing from God.
Jitow (362 posts)
12 years ago (2009-07-02)
This is my opinion based on the majority of happy endings from this website and others like it. The last thing that you need to do is give up on Jesus and His Father. Jehovah God is the one that has given you this gift of discernment. He gave it to you to use for His glory and not for your torment. Go to God in prayer and in the name of Jesus and dedicate the gift that He gave you to Him and ask that His will be done in your life and to use the gift that He gave you for His glory and He will turn your circumstances into blessings beyond measure. You do not have to keep searching if you will realize that you have a special gift from God and seek Him on how He wants you to use it. Peace Out
Rhiannon (2 stories) (6 posts)
12 years ago (2009-07-02)
thinkingfunny123----Lol, I can't re-call, it was a while ago. But my curiosity is, why did she warn me for 7 years? I never understood why I was selected, or if I can predict things, I may never know. I guess my friend once copied a paper of mine but that didn't seem too big of an infringement in my mind. I hope the girl liked me, that would be a first in a really long time!
Rhiannon (2 stories) (6 posts)
12 years ago (2009-07-02)
Surya----Thank you very much, it is sort of a relief to know that I am not the only one to be followed. He has not shown his face since my husband and I have been together but I do get the same eerie feelings of being watched even when my Husband is with me...*sigh* Electronics don't help much either, they give me a headache if too many are around me at once.

I too wonder if I have attachments from my mother's activities. I try to not let that get to me as it is now my world to deal with. But still sometimes my husband can't explain to me why our shoes end up in a different area or why spatulas dissappear (we are VERY organized) so it is like no matter where I go, I pick something up. It hasn't been bad but I keep on guard.

I call it a gift if I can ward people from a bad place, a curse when it follows me home even when I banish it the best I can.
Rhiannon (2 stories) (6 posts)
12 years ago (2009-07-02)
JamesRobiscoe----I guess I tried to stuff it due to years of being told it was wrong to speak of it, with my mom never being willing and my dad not wishing to re-visit the past it has been hard to, especially when most people think you are crazy or fabricating everything. I sometimes guess what song will come up on the radio before it does, multiple choice questions tend to be easy for me if I go with my first decision even if I don't know the answer...etc. I guess getting caught up in every day life tends to dampen the works though.

I very much appreciate your words, they do help immensely
Surya (39 stories) (867 posts)
12 years ago (2009-07-01)
This is almost like what I have been going through since the age of 11 except my visitor is not a shadow man nor is he a nightmare. I was very surprised to read you are actaully married to a muslim who believes in Jinns and Creatures. Usually Muslims are able to ward of a lot of negativity, maybe that is why he seems less prone to the activity. I have to wonder as well whether you have anything attached to you because of your mom's past. But then maybe not. You come across as very strong, keep it that way. Fear if the worst.

It sounds like premonitions/visions, I call it a curse I have been given, others call it a gift.

I think you will understand what I mean.

I look forward to reading more of your stories.

Thank you for a very interesting story.

thinkingfunny123 (10 posts)
12 years ago (2009-07-01)
Maybe the spirit (girl at the house) wanted to warn you so she wouldn't have to hurt you. Maybe she for some reason liked you when she sensed you entering her territory. Not to be too personal but did your friend ever hurt your feelings in any way? Maybe the spirit felt sorry for you and took it out on her, only saying of course if she did insult/hurt your feelings once. Lots of maybes. Hope it helped... 😁
JamesRobiscoe (419 posts)
12 years ago (2009-06-30)
Rhiannon--To not speak of some experience lest it bring down bad spirits could have some merit, depending on what you say and how you say it. Otherwise it seems to me a superstition which gives power to negativity, and I include perpetuating fear amongst the ways.
I believe we're all here to help one another in time of need. Troubing secrets usually leave the tormented to face a problem alone, and a tormentor, real or other worldy, loves that--no one else can interfere. Your insight, or intuition, or gift of foresight seems to have proven by evidence, so why try to stuff it? Use it. Practice it in non-critical situations. (What card is that laying face down? For instance.) If it helps you, or helps you to help others, what grander purpose can any of us have? ~ James

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