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Paranormal Or Paranoia?

 

I'm not sure where to begin with this. To be honest, I'm not even sure if I believe in paranormal entities and what I would do if I ever even came across a "spirit" or "demon." All I know is what I've been experiencing the past few months is real. Maybe I'm going crazy, but this is the first time I've found a place where I can share my stories and not feel like I'm insane.

And I apologize for the length of this, it's just, things have become incredibly difficult and stressful as of late and I just need to vent. I also want to note that I'm just mentioning things that I have no explanation for or that I can't find an alternate explanation for.

I recently graduated college and moved back home to take care of my ailing father and look for work. On my down time I like to take pictures of cemeteries - it's nothing morbid - I just appreciate the historical value in cemeteries. I'm also working on a project dealing with segregation and burial grounds; just something to keep my brain working. At first, I attributed a lot of what I've been experiencing to the adjustment of moving back home and the natural creepiness that comes from hanging around in cemeteries. But now, I'm not so sure.

Nothing of real importance happened until after about a week of being at home. I started waking up in the early morning (around 4 a.m.) and I could hear thumping and tapping. I initially attributed the noises to the "settling" of our apartment or my fatigue playing tricks with my mind. But after two weeks of being woken up in this fashion, I began to suspect something more systematic was happening. For one, each time I woke, I was extremely alert, almost that feeling you get when your alarm goes off late. For another, it got to be where I would hear thumping/knocking during the day. But it was weird, it's almost as though it was hard to differentiate between "where" the thumping/knocking was happening. For instance, for a few minutes I could hear steady knocking on the wall next to me, but then it would feel like the knocking was coming from inside of me. It's hard to describe, but that in itself was enough to drive me crazy.

As weeks passed by, other events occurred. Sometimes when I showered, the light would cut off. When this happened, this cold feeling stretched over me. I don't know how to explain it, but it goes beyond getting goosebumps from fear, this is like an actual cold feeling that completely entrenches me. Almost like I'm standing in ice-cold water instead of hot water. When this happened, I was rendered immobile, I could literally not move until the lights came back on.

At first, I thought the electrical problems had to do with faulty wiring or something and I contacted our landlord to take care of the problem. When the electrician came out, he found nothing wrong. Since then, it's been touch and go. Sometimes when I enter a room, the light will turn off, when I go to mess with the switch, the light will switch back on. There would be a week when nothing would happen at all and I would begin to feel at ease again, when the games would continue once more.

But I'm not the only person who has been affected.

My father, for the most part, is sedentary. We have a caretaker who comes in and helps with his cleaning, cooking, and housework - but there's a lot of time when it's just me and him. About a week ago, I was working on my resume in the office nook and he was sitting in a chair facing away from me, watching TV. The big game was on and he was absorbed with it. As I was typing at my computer, I felt my hairs stand up on my neck like when you feel that someone is watching you. I looked up and my father had turned around and was just staring at me. There was no form of recognition in his face, it was just this blank stare and I was definitely startled by his expression. I asked him if he needed anything and he just kept staring at me, not acknowledging my question. I started to get up to go over to him when he instantly turned back around to watch TV. I was taken aback, but I still approached him and asked him if he was ok but he was normal, he didn't even remember looking at me.

This wasn't the only time. Later that same evening, he was sitting in the same chair and I was in the couch opposite of him. I was uploading my pictures onto my computer when I got that feeling again. He was staring straight at me again and his eyes were just, dead. The expression in his eyes is inexplicable, I don't want to be melodramatic and say that it was a "look of hate," but it's certainly not an expression I have ever seen him convey before.

Out of all the strange events that have happened these past few months I've been home, this change in my father's behavior has affected me most. He doesn't say anything during these encounters, he doesn't move, and from what I can recall, he doesn't even blink. He just stares, and it isn't until I move that he snaps out of it. I love and care for my father very much and our relationship has been taking extreme hits since these things have been happening.

I'm sorry again for the length of this, but I think I'm going insane here. I have been losing sleep (most of the time I don't get to sleep until after 5 a.m.), I'm anxious all the time, and I'm wary of even doing simple things like showering. I want to leave the house, but I'm afraid of what kind of father I will face when I get home. I've tried mentioning the staring to my father's doctor but my concerns are dismissed as side effects of medication (though for the 7 years he's been taking the medication he has never displayed those side effects.) Our caretaker, Amy, notices the noises and flickering lights, but like me, she is clueless and skeptical on their cause.

I'm not sure what is happening, if it's paranormal or paranoia, all I can go by is what I feel, and what I feel, is scared. Any help would be greatly appreciated.

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Comments about this paranormal experience

The following comments are submitted by users of this site and are not official positions by yourghoststories.com. Please read our guidelines and the previous posts before posting. The author, MSarah, has the following expectation about your feedback: I will participate in the discussion and I need help with what I have experienced.

Javelina (4 stories) (3749 posts)
+1
6 years ago (2011-09-27)
MSarah.
Thank you for clearing that up. And I'm sorry if I alarmed you at all. It was a misunderstanding that I am happy to say I was wrong about. Whew!

Jav 😊
MSarah (1 stories) (5 posts)
+2
6 years ago (2011-09-27)
Champion: Thank you for your insight, I will definitely look into doctors for stress management.

Lynrith: I'm really not sure if my time in cemeteries is at all connected to these events. I'm there for research and I really do all I can to be as respectful as I can in the different graveyards I visit. Hopefully the two things are disconnected.

Aussie: It would be interesting if it were my brother. I will try communicating in the way you suggested if the knocking happens again. (It's happened every night since it began so I don't know why it wouldn't, but still.)

Darkness: I'm hoping it isn't something malevolent, but I will keep everyone updated as things continue.

Javelina: I looked back and realized that I made our neighbor sound like an old, miserly fellow! That's a complete mistake! Really, Tom is a good guy. He helped with moving me in and he has come through in the pinch a few times when I've needed someone to look after my dad. Sometimes I'll wheel my dad over to Tom's place and they'll hang out and watch games or something. He can be a bit of a goofball - one time he put a whoopie cushion on my dad's wheelchair (which resulted in a big laugh from my father) - but he's certainly nowhere near malicious. I think Tom and my dad bond because Tom is a retired veteran and my brother died while serving in Iraq.

I believe he was a bit disgruntled when I asked him about the knocking because I had woken him up. It was probably around 11 p.m. When I knocked on his door. He looked genuinely bewildered and alarmed that I was there, and confused as to what I was asking. It doesn't fit his character to mess with us and I really don't think he has anything to do with this. But then again, there is nothing to lose from investigating it further when he is away.

Thank you again, everyone. Things have neither worsened nor gotten better-but at least they have stabilized. I'll update if anything new occurs.
Javelina (4 stories) (3749 posts)
+1
6 years ago (2011-09-27)
MSarah,
I do agree with much that has been offered up so far. However, I do have a feeling the neighbor should not be taken out of the equation yet. I just have a real problem with a guy who claims not to hear the knocking on the wall that both you and your father have. Something just doesn't sound right about his denial. If anyone were to come to my door late at night asked about hearing loud knocking on the opposite wall from me? I would be checking out the claims right away. You have to wonder why he was as rude to you as he was. You are a young female, in obvious distress, and he knows your father is in a wheelchair. His reaction to you was not normal. Is your fathers apartment a nicer one than his? Or in a better spot? Does he perhaps have his eyes on getting it if/when Dad moves out? The lights going out when you get in the shower? I'm sure he's found a way to manipulate that easily. Believe me, my father was an electrician, it's not that hard. I don't care what the landlord says.
I implore you to at least consider what I'm saying for a moment. And do a little of your own investigating. Watch when he leaves, does the activity stop? Does he have a roomate? Maybe turn on your shower as a test, shake the curtain or door to the shower as if you were getting in. Then see what happens. If the lights go out...hmmmm.

Just check into these things or have someone not
involved in your fathers care help you.

Jav
DARKNESS (3 stories) (2022 posts)
 
6 years ago (2011-09-26)
MSarah: I'm sorry to hear that you are going through this it must be a very stressfull and anxious time in your life. You have been given some great advice so far and I was actually thinking along the same lines as what Aussidaz has mentioned. I also feel it should be noted that as much as we don't want to hear this, it could also be going down a negative path and this is what JimD has touched on.

I have heard of very similar cases to yours and it turns out something dark and negative is creating pretty much what you are currently experiencing, it feeds of this and is taking advantage of you and your fathers emotions and feelings. This is just something else to consider and I sincerely hope it is not this and that it is a passed love one visiting you and trying to reach out as Aussie mentioned it may very well be your brother! 😊 Please keep us updated with this and I wish you and your father all the best.

Thank you for sharing.

Dan
aussiedaz (18 stories) (1276 posts)
+1
6 years ago (2011-09-26)
MSarah, knowing a little more about your circumstances and your situation makes me believe this is your brother coming through the rhythm of your home for probably a couple of reasons... One of them I feel is to let you know he is with you and your father under these difficult times and times ahead... I feel also he is reaching out to you as well... To let you know his OK,I'm sure if his reading this over your shoulder his probably giving us the thumbs up... Next time you hear the bangs on the wall ask if it's him... For example, if that is you John could you knock three times on the wall... If it's him and he's the one knocking on your wall he will oblige and answer your question... Talk to him and explain to him how you feel and tell him you know his OK and why he is with you... Also if you succeed you may want to let the people in his close circles know as well... You can ask other questions if you like but it various from spirit to spirit how well the reply comes through, you could also go and see a medium, if you like... And as granny pointed out keep us posted I would like to know how things turn out for you and your father... I wouldn't be surprised if your father can see him at times... Or maybe he might somewhere down the track... If your father ever mentions he can see him...it's not the medicine mate.

Best wishes Daz
lynrinth (guest)
-1
6 years ago (2011-09-26)
I'm so sorry to hear about your problems, and how it's affecting your father. Yes, all these comments are good advice. But... Maybe when you visited cemeteries, you may have brought home some spirits with you. Since your father has no memories of these 'staring' times, like a prior commentor said, your father might be possessed for that time. Having no memory is a symtom of that. NOT saying that's totally it. It could be anything really. Now is the time to find a method that would work best for riding of these problems. The usual, telling the spirtis firmly to leave your home, prayer, and having someone bless your home. Or calling in a pyschic. Probably visiting cemeteries shouldn't be done for awhile, either.
champion (3 stories) (172 posts)
+2
6 years ago (2011-09-26)
MSarah- after reading that you fathers tests were good and that they changed his medicine I would like to elaborate on what could be going on with your father staring at you. I myself do the same thing when I'm concentrating deep in thought I stare, never blink like I'm in a trance and everytime someone see's me doing this they think I'm staring at them and I have no Idea what they are talking about. Its like my eye's are open but I'm seeing things in my mind and don't notice anything around me, My wife has shook me before to bring me back to reality. This could be what your father is doing and not be aware that he is even doing it.
But the lights and noises could be paranormal and would suggest using Rooks cleansing ritual. Its been posted many times on here so you shouldn't have a problem finding it. I would also say that you are under a lot of stress taking care of your father and looking for work in todays economy and you might want to consider talking to a Dr. About the stress level in your life. I hope I helped and wish you and your father the best.

Strength and Courage,
Champion
MSarah (1 stories) (5 posts)
+1
6 years ago (2011-09-26)
Aussie: That's interesting and would definitely be comforting if it came out to be a loved one; Lord knows everyone in this little apartment could use more spiritual support. The only people I have known to die are my grandmother (cancer) and my brother (he was serving in Iraq.) His other relatives passed either before I was born or when I was just a baby.

Is there a method of communication to perform with these spirits? I only ask that because I would just like for these encounters to manifest in a "nicer" way. I'm not necessarily searching for answers for WHY they're occurring anymore, now I'm just concerned with HOW they're occurring - and loud knocking, electrical problems, just general intrusiveness - it's not working out for us.

Thank you for your kind words and thoughts - at the onset of his diagnosis, I was just a child and was too young to come to terms with the implications of his illness. Now I'm older and more fit to care for him, but every part of me is a daddy's girl. Every part of me remembers him as an energetic, youthful, and healthy father - the father who could lift his kids on his shoulders, dance with his daughters, run to the moon if his family requested it. Things have changed now (more than I ever thought possible), but I have come to terms for the day when he leaves me; it won't make it any less difficult, but it's comforting to know there will be a day when he doesn't have to suffer.

Is it weird with all this stuff going on, however, that I wouldn't want to be visited by his spirit after he passes? At least not like this, not in manifestations that cause fear and anxiety in me.

Granny: Thank you so much for your help! I will be sure to update if there are any new events.

Geetha: Thank you, I will definitely look into Rook's suggestion and possibly move to a spiritual leader if things worsen or never subside. I'm sorry to hear about your grandmother, I can definitely relate to not knowing if they're in pain or not. I remember his first seizures were absolutely terrifying for me, not that they're easy now, but I'm better equipped to handle them. I will certainly keep an eye on his condition; he has regular doctor appointments and I have most of his doctors on speed dial in case something happens. Thanks, again!
geetha50 (15 stories) (986 posts)
+1
6 years ago (2011-09-26)
After reading your story, my first thought was to take your father for more check ups and a second (or third) opinion.

After reading other people's comments and your updates, my first thought was that there might be something of a paranormal state in your residents. This might be caused by the stress levels you are emitting and your father's illness. My second thought was trying to move from your residents but that might be a problem for you and your father as he is in a wheelchair and the apartment would be comfortable for the both of you. Also, I have seen it being mentioned before that even if you move, ghosts/spirits can follow you.

My third thought was to bless the house. Personally, I thing it would be best if you have a religious leader of your faith come into do it. If you don't have the time to do that, then I suggest following Rook's method of blessing / cleansing the apartment. See the story "Girl in her Room". Rook has posted the cleansing process there. It would hurt to try it; if not for your peace of mind then for your ailing father.

About the blank stares your father goes though. I suggest to do more test. The reason for this is because before my maternal grandmother passed away, she was in bed for four years after suffering from a major stroke. She was only able to make a few words and lots of noises but she understood everything we and the nurse who came in said (we took care of her in our home until she passed, we didn't want to leave her in a nursing home with strangers). The thing was there were times where she would just stare at us blankly with out any motion and wouldn't respond to us. Doctors did some tests and they said that she was having mini strokes when that happened. Towards the end of her days, she had a lot more of that. It was painfully to see and as a teenager it was scary to see because you are not sure if they are in pain or not.
zzsgranny (18 stories) (3312 posts) mod
+1
6 years ago (2011-09-26)
MSarah: Thank you so much for the further info!...Well, from your recent comments, I agree with Aussie... The fact that you did investigate the activity lends credence to the paranormal angle... And since your father has had a series of neurological tests turn out so well, I would venture to say that it's possible you're being visited by passed love ones concerned for your father's condition...

Please keep us updated on any developments ❤
aussiedaz (18 stories) (1276 posts)
+3
6 years ago (2011-09-26)
First of all, not all the bang's and knock that we hear are associated with the paranormal and logical explanations such as expanding rafters, variations in temperature and gushes of wind can all contribute and explain some of the noises you may be hearing... But when they come systemically in sink with other occurrences such as lights turning off sudden drops in temperature etc and family members in need of spiritual support such as your father... This suggest to me that a ghost of whom I would think is related or is a friend of your father is using the rhythm of the house to come through and let you know they are with him... For what reason they are with him may prevail in time or may not... Its hard to say what they are trying to relay... Perhaps letting you know that no matter how sick or how much he deteriorates they will take care of him... I can imagine how difficult this time is for you... But know this in your heart... No matter how bad things become for him when that time comes, there is another place we go where he will walk once more and be like he was in his prime... I hope he improves and I wish you and your father all the best.

Daz
MSarah (1 stories) (5 posts)
+2
6 years ago (2011-09-26)
Aussie: He was "diagnosed" (there are no official tests) with MS about 12 years ago and as of the last few years, things have worsened. He is paralyzed from the waist down and confined to a wheelchair. There are moments of confusion and other minor mental changes, but for the most part, he is still able to participate in conversation and remember details. He needs full time care, but it's not at a stage where he needs to be in a nursing home or anything; his doctors agree that he should be at home.

His prognosis is difficult to tell, honestly, the medicines he takes are just methods and strategies to treat the different attacks and relapses. He has regular visits with doctors so we're kept up to date on his condition, but sometimes those visits aren't the most reliable - this past visit we were told that he was doing well, that his condition was stable. But he could always have a relapse tomorrow. So it's very much a touch and go situation.

I'm interested with this theory of communication. Though, I don't know much about my dad's side of the family to be able to interpret who would be trying to communicate with him.
aussiedaz (18 stories) (1276 posts)
+2
6 years ago (2011-09-26)
MSarah, I can see a pattern here... When you say ailing father just how bad is his condition and his long term prognosis? I understand the sensitivity of the question but it may support some of your experiences in your story and give the community here something to think about in regards to the bangs and knocks... What are the doctors saying exactly? What I will say at this point of time in my opinion... Those noises you are hearing are family members on the other side surrounding your father, for what reason?...I can't really elaborate more without knowing all the facts... Granny does make a good point about not over reading the signs you are getting, but I think you are getting something.

Daz
Aprilsnanny35 (3 stories) (35 posts)
+2
6 years ago (2011-09-25)
MSarah: Interesting story, thanks for sharing. Just wondering if you have considered that it could be some sort of animal in the wall cavities? I don't know if it is the same in Texas, but where I am from we commonly have birds, mice or possums getting in the between the plaster and the external wall and I have had many days and nights of hearing them banging and scratching around in there, it's usually a seasonal thing and they eventually find somewhere else to hide. Just thought it was worth mentioning.
Wishing you well. 😊
MSarah (1 stories) (5 posts)
+4
6 years ago (2011-09-25)
Hey all, thank you for commenting. I'm relieved to finally be receiving some options for explanations on what is occurring.

Just to update on a few things:
My father had his doctor appointment with his neurologist this past Thursday and among other things, they ran several brain tests - CAT scan, MRI - and his brain activity is normal. There was no evidence of a stroke or further deterioration. If anything, the doctors were pleased to see that he was stable and doing well (at least by health standards.) Per my request, his medication was changed, but unfortunately his behavior hasn't changed much. He'll have his weird staring moments (which Amy claims she hasn't experienced any of these. Maybe I am going crazy.)

Granny - With the electrical stuff, I contacted our landlord and electricians to figure out if something was wrong, but everything was determined to be in good working condition. As far as the tapping/knocking: Something I didn't mention in my story, is that my room faces the outside, I'm on the top floor and my room is not backed against another apartment so the noise can't be from neighbors. (Also the apartment below is vacant - I initially complained to our landlord when the knocking began because I thought it was noisy neighbors when he informed me that the tenants had moved out in May.) Additionally, there isn't a tree or anything that could cause the now scratching that has begun. The knocking and tapping comes from the walls, generally ones that I'm near at the time, so I don't even think things like the ice maker could be at fault - especially since it's legitimate knocking.

There has been a new development: Friday night I was helping my dad into his bed and getting his pillows situated when the knocking began on the wall behind his headboard. His room backs up against our neighbor's living room. This was heavy knocking - heavier than I had ever heard and it was loud and sudden enough to spook the both of us. I asked my dad if he was hearing it and he nodded his head and said he had heard it for a few nights lately. I immediately left to go talk to our neighbor to see if he was messing with us (he's a 60 year old retired vet, I didn't think he was, but still) and I really just proceeded in rousing him from sleeping. I asked him if he heard any knocking in his apartment and he said the only knocking he heard was the knocking I did on his door. I went back to our apartment and I stayed with my dad until the knocking went away (lasted about 45 minutes) and then I went to bed. But around 4 a.m., I was awoken, again, with more loud knocking and this time the lights flickered a few times. Needless to say, there hasn't been much sleep - for either of us - lately.

Nysa - I haven't thought of going the psychic route, but that sounds like a solid idea. And the Association of Gravestone Studies sounds fascinating, I'd definitely like to check that out.

Jim - Interesting perspective, the possibility of a demonic presence worries me beyond belief, and I truly hope that isn't what is happening. It's hard to diagnose sudden/severe depression; I've been in a depressed state really since I've moved back and things have started happening. I've been taking anti-depressants, but like with all cases, I have my moments when things get difficult to handle.

Other than the amplification of the old tricks and some scratching, I haven't seen or experienced anything new. Thank you all, for your responses and support.
JimD (431 posts)
+3
6 years ago (2011-09-25)
Hi;

These symptoms also appear to be preternatural, i.e.demonic, in genesis. Demons are experts at psychological warfare and attempt to isolate a person from both family and friends, in an attempt to cause them to dount their own sanity. Sudden, severe depression, and / or suicidal intrusive thoughts?

Other symptoms are: cold spots, night time scratchings, night time whisperings, poundings, etc. Demons are most active between 9 PM and 6 AM, i.e. The psychic hours. My counsel is using Catholic Holy water and invoking 'Jesus and Mary' for assistance. Email me, if you need more. Just my two cents; no preaching. God bless you. Hang in there, ok?Dukes2352atAOL.com.

PS I also agree with Granny. Always get medical assistance, when needed. There's no conflict.
Nysa (4 stories) (685 posts)
+1
6 years ago (2011-09-25)
First of all I think you need to call in a second opinion for your father. Becoming nonresponsive & having serious memory lapses should be a major red flag to your father's doctor & he should be ordering tests for him, not just saying it is a side effect of medication which has not made him have these symptoms before. Even if the problem was caused by medications he should be determining that & trying different meds. To brush it off like that shows he does not have his best interest in mind.

Secondly, it sounds like a lot of this is centered around you. I think you should consider the possibility it is stemming from you. You are in an extremely stressful situation, who knows how your mind is reacting to it. I don't see any obvious signs that there is an outside source. I suggest you post this story on the psychic site as well. I believe you just click on the "psychics & mediums" link on the top of this page. I don't really go to that page, but I suspect the members over there might have some thoughts on this for you.

Lastly, about the cemeteries, I am one of those people spending hours taking pictures in them too. Have you heard of the Association for Gravestone Studies? If you want to "keep sharp" as you say, I am sure our members would love to read a report of the work you are doing. And if they published it in the quarterly journal that would look good on a resume.
zzsgranny (18 stories) (3312 posts) mod
+4
6 years ago (2011-09-25)
MSarah: Please don't misunderstand what I'm about to say, as I'm not trying to debunk your experience... I think there may be some paranormal activty occurring, but I don't believe it has anything to do with your father's condition...

I suggest you get a second opinion... Any reputable doctor would welcome your decision to do so, as they should be confident in their diagnosis... Even without the current doctor's blessing I would do it... Sounds like your father could be having seizures, or even what is termed a "mini-stroke"...I'm no doctor, so my opinion is just that... You definately need to consult a doctor, a different one if necessary... If there is nothing in the way of neurological disturbance or disease present, then we can go the paranormal route...

But, as far as the knockings, tappings and electrical stuff: what have you done to try to debunk those events?

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