My Imagination

I'm 21 and looking for a confirmation of whether or not I am in fact having supernatural experiences. I have a couple inquiries about some things that happened in my past that I would like opinions on. I must first say that I come from a big family (just on my mother's side) with mixed views and ideas about religion. For example: My grandmother is a firm believer in Christianity, however her father (my great-grandpa) is more or less atheist and believes that when we die that's it. I myself am at a weird point in my life where I believe but have some doubts though if you ask me I will not say God doesn't exist. I can't even say that in my head just to test it, it feels wrong.

I am not religious by any means and I never have been. Humanity has turned religion into nothing but bloodshed, but I won't delve into great depth with my personal beliefs. I believe in something... I just haven't quite figured it out yet. I have some weird ideas about what Life and Life after Death is however once again I won't go into it. You may ask if you like as I enjoy bouncing ideas around with people. So here it goes.

I am wondering if I am dealing with multiple entities as I will call them. When I was a young girl my grandmother told me that I had an Angel by my side, always protecting me with his/her arms wrapped around me. Flash forward quite a few years later with me having moved to Nevada by that time and having not thought about these words to me in years.

I lived in Northern Nevada where winters were freakin cold. I remember two instances the first being when I was still in Elementary school and out on the playground standing next to the swings. It was winter time and so cold. If you're not familiar with Nevada I must tell you that on top of the winter cold Nevada also has terrible wind. I remember being outside freezing with the wind blowing and for some reason I closed my eyes for a while... And I remember feeling this little warm barrier around me... The wind was blowing on me... But I couldn't feel it; it felt like something was coming between me and the cold almost like there were arms wrapped around me. It lasted about 15 seconds... But my grandmother's words came back to me. The same thing happened to me when I was in High School standing outside in the snow with that cursed cold desert wind. I believe I have a guardian of some sort as there have just been too many personal things in my life to have happened that would have gone terribly wrong had it not been for some kind of divine intervention. Think it was my guardian? I could have sworn I felt arms around me... I felt like I was being protected. I just took it as an over-active imagination on my part and dismissed the feeling.

The second thing I want to share is something that I would have never noticed had it not been for my kitty. Let me first flash back to my childhood before we moved to Nevada. When I was around 6 or 7 my mother had a best friend who I will call Steve. He was her best friend. Not her lover or anything like that (he had a girlfriend of his own who my mom was also friends with). Like I said he was her best and closest friend she had and he was always really nice to my little brother and I. "Steve's" dad was divorced but was seeing this lady who had a son about my mom and Steve's age. He was from out of state and was coming into town so Steve's dad asked him to take him out and show his girlfriend's son a good time. My mother was invited but having two kids wasn't able to make it.

As a side note: I think my readers should understand that my mother has had a tough life. She became pregnant with me her senior year of high school, had me shortly after graduation, was left by the man who impregnated her when I was maybe 1. She got married about 1 or 2 years later and shortly after had my little brother. The man she married turned out to be a monster a man that she had met at church nonetheless. He mentally and sometimes physically abused her. My family had to move her out while he was at work because he wouldn't let her leave and would grow even more violent when she would try. My first memory as a small child would be after my family had moved her... We were driving home from my grandparent's house and he found us, ran her car off the road, and I remember his fist breaking through my mother's driver side window. I remember the sound and I remember my baby brother and me in the back seat screaming our heads off crying. Back to the story of Steve.

So he took this guy out, it was just the two of them going to the bar. Steve wasn't heard from again after that night. They found his body at the bottom of a well with fatal gunshots to his head some time later. Having been with my mother through all of the terrible things she had gone through, she was devastated. The guy Steve had gone out with confessed that he was the one who had murdered him and dumped his body. It wasn't for money or over a fight or anything... This guy was just no bueno, and later confessed to killing another person after Steve. Forgive me that this is so terribly long but I must let this all out as I have been holding onto all of this for a very long time and unfortunately I cannot just tell you about my experiences without giving you the whole story.

We've had several kitty cats since Steve's death and when I was younger (I never noticed this until I was about maybe 8 or 9 and even when we were living in Nevada this would happen), but all my cats would always stare at something. I've always felt that my mother, little brother, and I had guardians around us, but after seeing the way my cat would act sometimes I began to wonder if Steve was there sometimes looking over us. I remember one day in particular I was out of school for the summer and I do believe it was the summer before my Junior year of high school as we were living in this rental house waiting for my mom and her new husband (they had been married a few years by this time and he actually adopted me), they were at work and my brother was in California visiting his dad.

I was home alone in the front room watching Lord of the Rings with my kitty there with me when she began to stare towards the ceiling over my left shoulder. I looked behind me thinking she was watching a reflection of light from a passing car outside (the blinds were open) but there was nothing there and no car passing, but I could tell she was staring at something. In the past and up to the present all my cats have done this. They wouldn't just stare for 10 or 30 seconds, they would stare for minutes at a time or until I got a little weirded out and would say their name, then they would look at me, maybe jump in my lap, but then go back to staring at what they were before. I believe animals can see and sense things that we can't and on the particular day I am talking about Steve's name came to mind that that was who/what the kitties were staring at.

I cannot say that I have ever seen a ghost or a spirit but I believe I have felt them as I am very sensitive to energies. I have a couple more recent experiences, however I would like to see what people's thoughts are about the story above before I tell any more of what has happened recently on top of the fact that this story is already so long. So tell me what your thoughts are!

I know my story is not as eventful as most everyone's experiences on this site are but when my mind gets started on something it won't stop... And with this... My thoughts haven't stopped in over 10 years. Let me know if you need more info. I am very receptive to questions and ideas. If you think it's stupid I would rather you keep it to yourself. Cruelty and Callousness are not welcome by me however honest inquiries are!

Thanks for your time!