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Maybe I Should Run


English is not my first language so if you don't understand something, just ask.

I'm 20 year old female from Finland. I've been experiencing strange stuff for some years now. Here's some background information: All things (except one) I'm about to tell have happened in our house & its surroundings. I still live with my family (me, mum & dad and his dog).

So, when I was about 14-15, I heard loud scratching at night. It was coming from near the kitchen window. I just thought it was some kind of animal... But once I visited my aunt I heard the same noise! And now it was louder and more desperate. My aunt's home was two-storey and I was sleeping in the second floor. And the strange scratching noise was coming beneath my room's only window. I first thought my aunt's dogs were just messing around, but the noise didn't come from downstairs.

The second strange thing happened when I was 16. It was year 2007. I decided for some weird reason to go to our backyard in the middle of the night. So I went. It was, if I remember correctly, mid-November and there was little amount of snow in the ground. I walked in the middle of our backyard and then I heard footsteps coming towards me. I saw no one. I just heard the noise when someone walks on snow. It was super creepy and I ran back inside.

And it was last year when I and my dad's dog heard noise from outside. It sounded like someone came with bicycle towards our front door. After that we heard talking, but I couldn't hear exact words.

But the strangest thing is still happening and it sounds waaaaaay crazier than those I already wrote. It began in 2008 when I had oddly empathic thoughts about someone who killed himself (I can't tell his name here because someone could recognize me). I don't know how this is possible, but then he came to me. It hard to explain how it happened, but suddenly I could "see" him with my mind's eye. Let's call him H. Back then I didn't pay lots of attention to him because I was more interested in school and friends. But then things started to go messy. I became depressed because I was thinking too much about things that weren't too healthy... My school didn't go so well because I had problems in one subject. I had suicidal thoughts and I'm glad I had then my friends with me. Most of my second year in the upper secondary school was infected by my depressive state of mind. Then in summer 2009 I started to think positively, and when I started my third year in my school I was happier.

And then this "thing" with H escalated. Autumn 2009 was very odd for me. I was so happy, I don't even know why exactly, and then he just became closer to me. I talked to him and began to really like him. Then I felt like someone was with me in my room. I felt like someone was touching my back when I was surfing in the net with my laptop. My room also became a lot colder. It has always been cold, but now I really noticed it. Sometimes I felt cold breeze on my arms like it was winding in my room. And sometimes I felt someone touching me in my sleep but this was/is pretty rare. One morning I was woken up by my cell phone and I shut it down. I closed my eyes and I was half asleep when I heard loud bangs. I woke up and went to do my morning things. This happened twice actually, but at the second time I heard like someone has clapped their hands loudly. Those could be dreams, but I have never woken up like that. I don't know if H is doing all these things or not. I have asked several times but it's kind of hard to talk with him because he never uses words. It's more like telepathy. He seems pretty positive about doing those things, so maybe it's him. I can't figure out who else it could be.

I've had dreams about him (I know the rule about dreams but I think this is important) and in one dream he was playing piano. Yeah, sounds pretty normal but then after that dream I read that he really played piano when he was alive! Strange...

And when I asked him when my father comes home (I don't like my dad so much) and H said that he will come home on Wednesday. And my dad did came back home that day!

H has never done anything scary and he has never harmed me in any way. At least not yet... Hehe. But he has acted strangely when I thought that I should get rid of him. And one time when I thought getting rid of him, I became very exhausted. I found myself staring at the wall, thinking nothing. It was really odd. And when I met a guy from Internet, H started acting cold. He is now pretty normal but he still glares at me when I check my e-mail to see if the guy I met has answered. It really didn't work out between us (I mean me & the guy from Internet) but it's not important. H has admitted he's very lonely where he is now.

And I don't know if this is relevant, but I had one really scary sleep paralysis experience in March. I was sleeping (of course) and suddenly I felt someone pinning my hands down and I couldn't scream. I struggled and thought about Jesus and it stopped. I even don't believe in God. That was scary. I never had any sleep paralysis experiences until I "met" H. Once I woke up and I saw someone's face near my own. I didn't freak out, I just turned my back to it and continued sleeping.

I know how crazy this all sounds. I've never been diagnosed with mental illness. I can manage with my life, I have still my friends (real-life friends) and I'm still in contact with them. I have plans for my future, and generally I'm feeling good.

So I'm asking: is this thing with H something dangerous? What exactly is he? Is he just result of my overactive imagination or what? And should I get rid of him?

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Comments about this paranormal experience

The following comments are submitted by users of this site and are not official positions by Please read our guidelines and the previous posts before posting. The author, mirrorcat, has the following expectation about your feedback: I will participate in the discussion and I need help with what I have experienced.

InTheNight (2 stories) (34 posts)
2 years ago (2022-02-26)
How have the things been going in between? Is H. Still there?
mirrorcat (1 stories) (5 posts)
12 years ago (2011-06-09)
Adolphos - Sounds reasonable. I should try that.

Thank you all! 😁
Adolphos (62 posts)
12 years ago (2011-06-09)
Your empathy toward him attracted him to you. And I'm sure you can reverse it. Either you have to become cold and not identify with his feelings, or become critical of them. Either he rectifies whatever feelings that made him choose to have his death in his own hands so he can move on, or sour the relations with you enough that he leaves.
mirrorcat (1 stories) (5 posts)
13 years ago (2011-06-08)
Javelina - You're right. I'm afraid of hurting his feelings. And you're right about the thing about his suicide. "If that somehow carried over into the afterlife for him, which it does quite often do, then his intentions cannot be trusted." That is also true. Maybe I should gain lots of courage and get rid of him. It's hard because I really like him...
Javelina (4 stories) (3749 posts)
13 years ago (2011-06-08)
I believe you have already decided what you should do about H. You mentioned more than once, that you were thinking that you wanted to be rid of him. So, what is stopping you? Are you afraid of hurting his feelings maybe? Because if that's the case, you must know that the longer you hold off from ending this relationship, the harder it will be.
Also, because his death was a suicide, he went to death with a lot of sadness and depression in his heart. If that somehow carried over into the afterlife for him, which it does quite often do, then his intentions cannot be trusted.
Of course all the decisions are yours to make, but if you're counting votes? Then I say he goes.

mirrorcat (1 stories) (5 posts)
13 years ago (2011-06-08)
LouSlips - That's a very good question indeed. I don't know if it's even possible to have someone total stranger attached to me. Is it possible?

Pwjigz - Yeah maybe... Still kind of strange.

Loganz_sis - I actually do things anyway and don't care if he accepts it or not and so I'm not restricted like that. He just stares when I do something "bad". And you're right, I should talk about this with someone experienced. But I believe when I find someone very special I will say goodbye to H. Now I like his company so he can stay.

Redphx - You're absolutely right.

Sparkles - Yes I will tell 😁

Thank you all!
Loganz_sis (1 stories) (150 posts)
13 years ago (2011-06-08)
Mirror - One simple question, do you want H in your life? You say you were not very close when he was alive. I understand your empathy for him but is it necessary to give him that place in your life where you are left wondering if each and everything you do in life is acceptable to him!?

You are 20, so there is so much life ahead of you so many things to do, create a future... Have a family etc. So I would say try not to make H the centre of your life, you have to deal with it I agree. Sot talk to someone who has experience in this stuff may be a medium or a friend even.
pwjigz (4 posts)
13 years ago (2011-06-07)
This H is always protecting you. The man you have been email and this H nothing to do with this? I think this H is wanted to be with you.
sparkles (5 posts)
13 years ago (2011-06-07)
If H isn't doing anything bad I don't think you should get rid of him. I mean if he is nice to have around and he protects you then I don't think you should get rid of H. I am sure he is quite nice! Tell H Ingrid said "Hi!" 😊
redphx (4 stories) (827 posts)
13 years ago (2011-06-07)
think of him like a living human being (which was what he was) he can have mood swings and he could eventually harm you in an emotional episode. Personally I don't think that he should be around because he seems to get influenced by what is happening in your personal living life. He make become like a jealous boyfriend and may think that he has ownership of you. I don't think its a good idea to keep him around too long if he keeps acting out. But if you find him helpful and comforting then you should let him stay until his behavious suggests otherwise.
LouSlips (10 stories) (979 posts)
13 years ago (2011-06-07)
So why do you think he attached himself to you when you say you barely knew who he was when he was alive?

mirrorcat (1 stories) (5 posts)
13 years ago (2011-06-07)
Yeah, sorry about the gaps:). This is kind of hard to explain because I have just recently started to really think what's really going on. And when I was writing this my head was filled with stuff related to it and I forgot things. I regretted submitting this story too early:) Sorry!
H shot himself. And I didn't knew him personally. Sounds stupid and crazy...
And what you wrote about the outdoor incidences... I agree with you.
LouSlips (10 stories) (979 posts)
13 years ago (2011-06-07)
How did H. Die?

With your first occurrences, sound outdoors can play some interesting tricks on our ears, making things sound closer or surprisingly loud from quite a distance away. I was not there, but it is worth considering with regards to your experience in the snow and your dad and the bicycle.
The H. Thing is a bit disturbing. Many of us here are sensitive, so we understand being able to sense him and even communicate... But his possessiveness and influence on you is unnatural and needs to be stopped. If he ever did or currently cares for you, he needs to realize his selfishness and to only approach you when you choose. He does not get to choose who you talk to, where you go, or how you feel. Any being, living or dead, is not allowed to influence you unless you choose to let them.

Please fill us in on your relationship with him and the occurrence of his passing... If you are able. I do not mean to pry but the info you've provided leaves a lot of gaps.


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