I've been wondering lately if most kids who supposedly have imaginary friends are really just talking with ghosts? It happened with my cousin's daughter last year and now I'm seeing it with my daughter.
A month or so ago, my 2 year old started saying 'hi' and then talking gibberish to the ceiling, every once in awhile when I was putting her to bed. It always started spontaneously whether we were talking, reading a story or singing. One night, it happened and then a few hours later I heard her whimper a bit and then very clearly and loudly (we still use a baby monitor) say, "No, no, no!" When I went into her room she was sitting up scowling and talking with someone.
Fast forward. On Friday night she did the same thing again, only this time she said, "Hi Brian! Hi Brian!" It was very clear and audible. I work with someone named Brian so I dismissed it to myself and chalked it up to her practicing the name. Then the next day, we were out in the backyard, she was swinging and started saying, "Hi Brian" again. Still didn't think much. Then last night, putting her to bed and again she says, smiling and looking up at the ceiling, "Hi Brian! Hi Brian! Night night Brian. Night night Ga Ga..."
And then it hit me. I don't think it is the Brian I work with she is talking about.
#1) Let me first explain that my niece and nephew always called my grandfather "ga ga". He has been dead for several years now. He died before my daughter was born. When I show her pictures, I call him "Grandpa" because we call my dad (her grandfather) "Papa" so there really isn't any confusion. My niece and nephew are older now - my nephew no longer refers to him as "ga ga", but my niece still does because she is autistic with a speech impairment and that is easier to say. They have both insisted they have seen him since he passed away. At Christmas this year, all of the photographs taken here in my house were filled with white orbs, and the largest ones were clustered mostly around my grandmother, "ga ga's" widow.
#2) Early last week, a close friend and coworker had her 30 year old son, Brian, commit suicide. Since then, things have been horrible for her of course, so I have been working a lot and doing everything I can to cover for her at work, as well as talking with her family a lot, making food, buying groceries, putting his obituary in the paper, getting her in touch with another friend whose daughter also committed suicide last year, etc.
So when I put #1 and #2 together, I got goose bumps. I asked my daughter why she told Brian and Ga Ga night night and she just giggled.
The obituary and cards from the funeral home (both with his photographs) have been laying around my house for a few days now. When the babysitter saw me pick up one of the cards, show it to my daughter this morning and say, "Who is this?" to see if she would say, "Brian," the babysitter told me 1) She had started saying "Hi Brian" out of nowhere the other day while outside swinging (babysitter also assumed she was just practicing the name of the person I work with) and 2) Had been carrying around the cards and obit all week and saying "Brian. Brian..."
This never seems to happen when my husband is around, but he completely believes me. He however thinks the Brian part is implausible because his spirit would be too confused to come here to visit after just committing suicide. Keep in mind I don't know Brian - have only met him once since he lived out of state. But my thought is that if it is him, he might be here because he knows how hard I have been working to help his mom deal and help his family in any way I can.
He was bipolar, but from what I have been told, was a very loving, gregarious, yet gentle soul. He was very much into music, nature, loved his dogs, loved his family and friends with unparalleled passion, etc. Maybe he wants to thank me? Wants to let his mom know he's ok? She doesn't have any other family or close friends who have children as young as my daughter at home so maybe this was the easiest way to get close to her?
Any thoughts? Should I do anything to help them move on if that's who they are? Should I feel concerned? Comforted? Should I ever try to share this with Brian's mom? (I would never share it now while she is so unstable, but I'm wondering if it might be of some comfort to her down the road if she doesn't think I'm crazy.)