She Lives On

I've always been a lonely guy. No brothers or sisters, not that many friends, to be honest I prefer my own company. But you can only be alone for so long before depression and loneliness kicks in.

This all started when I was 9 years old. My mother had lost her second child due to the baby (Who was female) being a stillbirth.

Now at the time I didn't understand the emotional pain that could cause a family. My mother cried for days, and no one wants to see their mother cry... So I thought I would try and draw a picture of what I believed my sister would look like.

Short pink hair. Blue top. Matching blue flower dress, white socks, ballet shoes, and a green hair clip.

It was all scribbly but it made my mother happy. And that's all that counted to me. She told me I should always keep her close. And that one day I would meet her. Now, me being only 9. I heavily took that out of context. I became all excited and ran into my room to continue my drawings of "Her".

I drew all sorts. Me and her in a field of flowers, the whole family at a fun fair. Me and her opening Christmas presents, but the thing is, it started to take over my life. My friends would ask me to come out but I would say "Sorry! Can't! My sister might come and I might miss her!"

My drawings grew and grew in number, it started to worry my parents. So they put a stop to it. My mother and father finally sat me down and told me that she was in heaven and that I misunderstood what my mother had told me that day. Needless to say I was upset. I cried for what seemed hours hugging all the drawings of me and her tight. It wasn't much the fact I misunderstood, it was more the fact of I thought I would never have to be alone again. Little did I know. Many years later. I would turn out to be right.

Okay, so fast forward until two months back. 10:34pm Friday June 22nd 2012.

My parents have been apart for 4 years now. But I'll not go into that since it isn't related to these string of events.

Night one.

Friday June 22nd 2012.

My father is at work and I am upstairs in my room on my laptop. Typical night. I wouldn't hear from my dad until early Sunday so I had takeaway money, but I didn't bother, I needed to save some money anyway so I just made myself some microwave pizza and chips, suited me.

I walked back upstairs to my room and all of a sudden the main hall light got cut, I jumped a bit then sighed, a couple of seconds later though it came right back on. I didn't think much of it and just walked back into my room and shut the door, I sat in my bed ready to tuck in to my tea until my wardrobe suddenly creaked open... I was frightend for a second but then I felt a cold breeze and realised my window was open. I went to close my wardrobe, but much to my surprise and I'll admit my joy. I saw a box labeled "Memories."

I pulled out the big brown box and decided to see what memories it held. I opened the box. And there she was. My little sister. Well all the drawings of her at least. As I start looking through all of my childhood work I subconsciously bring them closer to me and before I know it I'm hugging them...

It was then when I felt a hard grip on my shoulder. It wasn't crushingly painful. It just felt like a lot of pressure was being applied. It was then a huge gust of wind flew in and without in my mind I heard "You remember?" I turned around but I couldn't see anyone. The pain on my shoulder was still there. I couldn't move it no matter how much I tried to force it, I heard the voice in the wind again but it sounded a little more angry, I was confused, I just said "yes?" as if I said it as a question.

The pain eased and the wind stopped. In fact, the pain was replaced with a warm feeling. I cracked a smile for some unknown reason, I'll not lie. The feeling was fantastic. Not pleasurable. More like, you're being hugged and being warmed up on a cold night. I looked down on the photos still smiling.

Night two.

Sunday June 24th 2012.

Dad came home and asked me how my night was, I decided I shouldn't tell him so I just said the same old "Aye"

But as luck would have it he had to work extra so he could have sometime next week off since he promised to take me to the cinema. I didn't mind, it meant I could bury myself in my pictures. I opened the box again and brought out all the pictures, I counted them all up. 25. I was no artist and even today I have trouble drawing a stick figure. But they were sentimental. And I love them. Still do. Anyway, I decided to pick out a favourite, it was the last one I drew before my parents broke the news to me. It was the drawing of me and her together in the field of flowers. I smiled and again found myself hugging it.

The pain shoulder pain returned. But I had closed the windows yet the wind was blowing against my window furiously. I could identify the feeling of the pain more this time. It was as if I was being leaned on. I heard a voice, it was hard to place but I made out the word "Pretty?". I didn't know how to respond, I heard it again this time saying "Am I?" I was confused, and slightly frightend. But somehow I remained relatively calm. I awnsered with a little confidence "Beautiful." the wind stopped just like yesterday. The pain in my shoulder was also gone. And was replaced by the same feeling of a warm hug.

I felt tired so without giving it anymore thought I went to sleep feeling that warm hug the entire night.

Night 3.

Monday June 25th 2012.

I decided to look up paranormal happenings on the Internet. Since what was happening clearly wasn't "Normal" but wasn't life threateningly important either. I had stumbled across some theories and stories from other people but nothing really could help me. I found reasons that sounded like it could relate to me. But I don't fit the conditions.

A manifested spirit taken the form of my dreams- I never dreamt of her. I found it strange I didn't. But still.

A spirit drawn to me by the anger of the haunted in question- well. I'm a pretty mellow guy. I don't anger or scare easy so I guess I can write this off.

A recent traumatic experience causing immense and realistic hallucinations.- well I had a pretty uneventful life up until recent, but if you count loosing £10 on a bus, then sure...

So to put it simple. I was at a dead end. But my dealings with her didn't end.

Whilst I was still searching the pain yet again returned. This time in both shoulders, but what was different was that this time, it felt like someone's hands were trembling. The small voice almost crystal clear whispering in my ear "What's my name?" I was terrified this time, I swung round holding my chest breathing heavy, no one was there,! And my door was closed as always, I gasped for air and ran downstairs to my father, he laughed at me and said "What's the matter, seen a ghost?" I turned to him in a flash with him still slightly chuckling. I could hardly talk. My throat was barren.

I walked to the kitchen and downed half a litre of water, I started to calm and and think about what had happend, it was then it really hit me. After nine years. I really never knew my to be sisters name. After fully recovering from my shock I asked my dad about her, to my surprise he was very open and willing about it. He told me her name was meant to be "Serenity". "Only fitting I guess." a beautiful girl should have a beautiful name.

I had to wait another two nights until I next heard from her, I didn't sleep a wink. I was about to nod off until I just about heard what I assumed was crying, but sleep was taking over, I started compromising with myself saying how it's only the fact I haven't slept in 48 hours.

Then something felt weird, I normally fidget and move a lot when I'm sleeping but I felt a weight on my legs, it didn't hurt, but it was troublesome. I blinked a few times then tried to shift the burden to no success. It was then I looked up and saw her, she was as pale as could be, but it was her. Short pink hair. Blue top. Matching blue flower dress, white socks, ballet shoes, and a green hair clip.

I couldn't believe my tired eyes. But I don't blame you if you think I'm a liar. I mean, I thought It was just a mind trick, but my legs felt cold. And her little sobs were clear as day, she looked at me dead in the eye and asked "My name?" I was still very tired, so it took awhile for me to actually realise what was happening to me. She looked as if she was going to start crying until I finally came back to sense.

"Uhh...I uhm, oh! Serenity." my vision was going blurry and I started going light headed. She moved closer to me and appeared to tilt her head. I repeated her name. But everytime I did I started loosing consciousness. Just as my light head got the better of me, I fly a warm embrace swallow me. Then a warm sigh of a little girl as if she had been given some wonderful news. I fainted. Then not a second later I shot up. Wide awake and alert. Because it felt like someone had tickled me!

I looked at my wall and saw my favourite picture. Me and her. Me and Serenity. Me and my sister in a picture frame on my wall, my dad opened my door and walked in and said "Like it? You always carried that with you. Even to school when you were a kid. You always were strange. Must of got it from your mum."

I sighed at him and retaliated by mocking his shiny chrome dome head. But I thanked him also. Now I'll always see her when I wake up. And two months later, I still do. I sometimes get "Visits" from her. I can't see her physically, but she makes herself known. We look through our pictures together, I'll admit she gets abit stroppy sometimes and throws my coursework off my desk and hides my phone. But real or not. Even if It all was a traumatic manifestation. Or if it was a honest hand on heart experience. I still go to bed after every visit feeling that warm hugged feeling.

I'm sorry for the LONG story. But I can assure you this is a real experience. If anyone has any questions please feel free to ask.