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From The Beginning


I have lived in Alaska all of my life. My family mainly lives in California. My cousin that I barely knew died last night. I have always had weird feelings like I'm being watched or someone is always with me. I had gone to a shrink even and did many tests because I thought I was going crazy. But to the medical world I am a 100% healthy 21 year old female.

I have always believed in everything because why not believe in something that hasn't been disproven or proven. It seems that I have always known more about people then they let on. I have a special friend as I call him because whatever it is has been has been with me for many years, maybe since I was 7 or 8. I don't feel like it's a good thing, whatever it is.

I have always had sleepless nights. I am reaching out and talking about it because it's getting worse over the years.

The first person that I have ever seen that isn't with us anymore would be my uncle. My uncle Johnny died when he was 18. He is my dad's twin brother. I had never met him. I was about 9 or 10, I was asleep, as always parents check in on their children when they are sleeping. I had a white bunk bed and I had always put up blankets around my bunk bed because I felt safer I guess. That morning, I have no idea what time it was, I woke up and all the blankets were gone and there was a man staring out my window. He looked like my father but not at the same time. I said "Dad." This person didn't look at him like he was used to being ignored. I guess my gut told me to get out of my room so I ran out of my room went into my dad's room and saw he was still sleeping. I have no idea how I did it but I poked my head around the corner of my room and the man was still standing right there and the name popped in my head "Johnny." I said the name out loud at that moment and the person looked at me and smiled like a wow smile I guess and I felt more safe then I ever have and he was gone.

The night my great grandmother died at 3:36am I woke up because I heard a loud bang and in a moment my great grandma popped in my head and it was her smiling and then she was gone. The next day I had found out that my great grandmother had died, falling out of her bed from the side effects of her stroke and hit her head.

My main experience was with my uncle Paul. My uncle Paul was my other father, me and him were very close. He had gotten really sick and was having repeated heart attacks in the hospital. I woke up at 4:46am having a panic attack, crying my eyes out and pleading with god not to take my uncle from me. I had fallen asleep from freaking out and had a dream. It was my uncle and we were in his backyard in California. He loved his garden and his yard and he was talking to me telling me that he loved me very much and everything will be ok, and that he will always be there for me and said he will miss everyone and his garden and hugged me and was gone. I found out that my uncle had started his last heart attack at 4:44am and died at 4:48am. I haven't seen him since that night in 2009.

My special friend that has been with me since I was little isn't one of my family members. He messes with me at night. He will turn the computer off and on at night, hence the sleepless nights. I used to be scared of him but have gotten used to him. He feels like a man's presence so that's why I call him a he. He has saved my life a couple times. My guardian angel I guess. But there are nights that I feel complete anger or evil I can't decide between those two feelings. I have told my aunt and I guess my family had the history of seeing people that aren't with us anymore. But she hasn't heard of anyone in our family having a special friend as I call him. I have asked his name many times but I feel that anger and am silenced. I need to share I guess to people that won't judge me and might give me advice about it. I might be crazy I don't know. But I hold a job and don't take drugs or pills and am in collage. I am at the point of not knowing what to do anymore.

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Comments about this paranormal experience

The following comments are submitted by users of this site and are not official positions by Please read our guidelines and the previous posts before posting. The author, nikki2marie, has the following expectation about your feedback: I will participate in the discussion and I need help with what I have experienced.

Trey (3 posts)
10 years ago (2014-03-31)
Hey Nikki2marie,

I agree with spiritwaiting, you have a gift and not an easy one. The most important thing I can suggest is to have a steady meditation practice. Your ability to control this gift is intimately connected with your ability to control your own thoughts. Learn about meditation on mindfulness (don't start with the losing track of reality types of meditation, as this could activate your gift in a way that could overwhelm you). Start now, practice every day to control the path your mind takes and in this way you will be much better equipped to deal with any other spirits or situations you may encounter. This way you will not be at the mercy of something you can't control, so you will be able to choose the path your life takes no matter what comes your way.

I am happy to hear that you haven't run into anything really nasty, and I hope you never do. If it does happen, you will want to know how to shield your energy, how to send away entities that you don't want around you or others, and how to trust your intuition. Cultivate mental strength as soon as possible and as diligently as possible, I promise you as someone who is sensitive to spirits and energy, you will thank yourself a thousand time over for this investment.

If at all possible, find someone who understands your experiences and can help you cultivate control. Martial arts schools, churches, Buddhist temples etc. All may contain knowledgeable people who may be able to help in person.

Trust your intuition, best of luck in all you do, and thanks for sharing.
savsavvy1023 (1 stories) (42 posts)
10 years ago (2014-03-30)
Maybe it is your Uncle Johnny? He was a young man at the time of his death and those sound like things a young man might do. Try talking to your Uncle Johnny and asking him if it is him. There is something I like to do that helps me talk with spirits in a safe way. You can do it alone or with a group if you are afraid. Set up a "crystal ball" a snow globe works fine, and make a chain out of paper clips and on the bottom put something small that carries a lot of your energy, like a key. Recite the Lords Prayer (I'm not Catholic and it doesn't matter if you are or aren't) and imagine purple light sweeping through the whole house or place you are doing this. At the end of the prayer say your reason for calling "talk to Uncle Johnny." Say swing the key in a clockwise direction for yes and a counter-clock wise direction for no. Ask what ever you would like. Good luck!
spiritwaiting (42 stories) (843 posts)
10 years ago (2014-03-30)
nikki2marie, Your very gifted and no your most definitely not crazy. This entity sounds like it has attached itself to you, because of your gift. Do you feel exhausted,angry, most of the time? The reason I ask is because it could possibly be feeding off of your energy. I would suggest a cleansing of your home, and you. There will be others on here that may beable to help you more. I hope you find help.

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