Wide Awake

I don't know if you can amount these experiences to ghosts or entities, but I want to share and find out if anyone has had similar experiences or if anyone may know what is happening.

It began when I was little. I remember loving ghost stories and being spooked (I still do). However, like any kid, I was spooked pretty easily when I was alone. I couldn't walk down the hallway without a light being on. When I would go to bed after my parents, I would turn the lights on in my room first, then backtrack and turn off the lights until I would eventually have to turn it off in my room and leap into my bed with the covers tucked tightly around my neck (I was afraid of vampires and putting the blanket over my head made me feel claustrophobic).

My experiences started sometime around middle school. I would wake up at night for no reason and all I remember is feeling completely petrified with fear. I would have to turn a light until I calmed down enough to go back to sleep. Nothing in particular woke me, no bump in the night, strange noises, I would just feel compelled to wake up.

There was one night in high school I remember very vividly. My room was not very big, I slept in a daybed that lay lengthwise against the wall opposite of the bedroom door. To the right of the bed was a window at ground level and the left was a closet. My desk was to the right of my bed and across the room, next to the door was a large chest of drawers with a very large mirror sitting on top (it was sort of a makeshift vanity). It was a school night and I remember waking up the same way as I described before, but this time I could not move. I could hear and I could feel the air around me, but I could not open my eyes or make any sounds. I was awake, but it was like I was trapped in my own body. I felt like there was something else in the room with me. Not a person, and not really a presence, it was the absence of everything in my room and it was almost like it was watching me.

After what seemed like an eternity I was finally able to force my eyes open and it was like I was trying to shake myself awake from the inside myself. When I opened my eyes and dared to move, I saw what looked like an old man sitting in my desk chair. It was hunched over and had both hands on a cane. It was covered in black and wore a black hat. It wasn't turned towards me, it just sat next to the bed in the chair, but I was petrified, I couldn't move, and it felt like the air was sucked out of the room. Finally I forced myself to move and turned on my lamp, but like any experience or story, there was nothing there.

This was only the beginning. All throughout high school, off and on, I would experience the same feeling. I would wake up in the middle of the night, I could not move, speak, or open my eyes and I felt like a shadow was lurking close. Making myself "wake up" was like trying to pull myself out of this emptiness, out of a hole. When I am in this state I feel this urgency to make myself wake up, like something bad will happen if I don't open my eyes. It always freaks me out, but once I am fully awake and able to move I am fine and able to go back to sleep. This only happens once in a while. It used to only happen when I was sleeping at my parents, but I have experienced this same feeling while studying abroad and when I was at college. Every once in a while (not as often now) I have the same experience.

I have only shared this experience with a couple of people, but I am honestly not sure if it has to do with my body when I sleep or something else. I am curious what other insight people might have or if they think I am completely out of my head.