I remember it so vividly, I had just been broken up with and sent packing back to my parents' house. It was only just some months ago. I hadn't slept well in days much less cared for food. It didn't help that I had gone from 113 pounds in my relationship down to a mere 92 pounds before being kicked back to my parents' home. I was an easy pick, so vulnerable, and always nightmare after nightmare plagued my moments of sleep. I didn't think much of it except because of stress and crying myself to sleep.
This early morning I'll never forget, made me rethink things. I had woken up like I had from my dreams of monstrous things attacking not only me, but my family. Anyways, I remember clearly seeing someone my ex's height by the door. I lift my head and questionably said his name. He replied with a nod and I lay my head back down without thought and as soon as my eyes shut again I spoke to him "I didn't..." I felt the bed move as he got in. As if it was my ex they curled up behind me leaving no space, his head on mine with his arms wrapped around me.
That was the moment I realized he couldn't be there, he wouldn't be there. In fear my eyes flew open; I was fully awake. I wanted to cry, to get free, and scream, but couldn't move. I could feel him still beside me, holding me there. I closed my eyes terrified as I realized struggling did nothing and lay stiff praying to be let go.
Then the arm and body pinning seemed to disappear altogether. I waited some time before opening my eyes and trying to move; I was free. I flipped on my bedside lamp and cried briefly. I, a 23 year old at the time, begged my mom to sleep in my bed with me as I recounted everything.
The next morning after we were all up I recounted once more for the others, but they all said it was a hallucination brought on by sleep paralysis. I've looked up sleep paralysis and peoples' experiences, so far none I've seen can you move before the paralysis effects you nor can you talk. No, in sleep paralysis you are awake, but your body still hasn't awoken so you can't move at all.
Was it something bad or a family member's ghost trying to comfort me? I don't know if I'll ever find out; it hasn't happened again and I hope it never will.